Sometimes, you feel that your relationship with someone is going too fast-either physically or emotionally. It's important to remember that a relationship requires an agreement between two people. You don't have to do anything just to make your partner happy. If you want to balance your relationship, talk to your partner and explain what you want.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Understanding Ongoing Relationships
Step 1. Assess the situation
First, consider where your relationship feels like it's going too fast. Identify what makes you or your partner uncomfortable. If you want a rushed relationship, you have to understand why the relationship is going too fast.
- You have to keep an eye on your partner. Maybe he wants to continue a physical relationship with you, but you're not comfortable with that. Maybe he demands a commitment you can't make. Maybe he loves you desperately, but you want your love to bloom slowly.
- On the other hand, you may not want to rush into feeling love. It's easy to "panic" if you feel that he is too easy to get your love. Maybe your boyfriend asked not to rush, for his good. In this case, consider how you respect your partner's needs in the relationship that you both have.
Step 2. Find out what situations “trigger” you
Pay attention to certain actions or situations that make you uncomfortable. Look for the pattern. Try to understand when you feel like this relationship is going too fast.
- Maybe you've just been dating someone, but he asks you to go out with him or asks you to be his partner for a relative's wedding. If this hint of seriousness bothers you, you should talk about it.
- Maybe you've just been dating a girl, and she's constantly sending out “signals” about marriage and children. If you're not ready to think about these things, your relationship may be in jeopardy.
Step 3. Know your goals
Evaluate your goals in the relationship, your goals for self-improvement, and your goals for the future. Consider whether this relationship is driving you toward that goal, and ask yourself if the imbalance you're feeling is a workable problem. Understand that the two of you may not get along.
If your partner wants different things from you, that doesn't mean he or she is a bad person. It's possible that both of you are not pursuing the same target. Consider whether your relationship is worth keeping even if your goals don't align
Part 2 of 3: Talking to Couples
Step 1. Talk about the problem
Talk honestly with your partner about how you feel. Say what makes you uncomfortable, and express everything in your heart. Make sure he knows you're still interested-but you don't want to rush things. If your partner understands what you mean, it will be easier for him to change his behavior and make you feel more comfortable.
You can feel that open communication will make your relationship feel less complicated. You can't expect your partner to act in your favor unless you ask them to
Step 2. Try to understand each other
Two people will not enter into a relationship with the same expectations. Your partner may not realize that he makes you feel uncomfortable. He may feel that the two of you live in different worlds. You and your partner make incompatible moves and choices. The quickest way to fix this problem is to understand each other about the direction the relationship is going.
Step 3. Don't force it
If you don't even look at each other, maybe it's time to say goodbye. Forcing your partner to do things they don't want to do is unfair; and letting you live in fear because you feel like you're losing yourself isn't fair to you either. Sometimes, you have to step back and focus on yourself before you really get into a serious relationship.
Consider whether the situation will lead to a breakup. Breaking up with a lover will not only slow down your relationships will run aground. If you feel like it's the only option, don't be afraid to make it happen
Step 4. Try changing the way you talk about your relationship
If you feel that you are talking too much about future plans and often say things that are related to commitments-for example, “I love you”-consider whether you are comfortable with these topics. Try turning your dialogue into a short-term plan. Before you decide on the direction of your relationship for the next year, find out what's going to happen in the next few months.
Part 3 of 3: Traveling Without Rushing
Step 1. Talk about the problem
Think about the specifics that make you uncomfortable, and find ways to deal with them or avoid them. It's easier not to rush into a relationship if you change the way you respond to certain situations.
- If you can't stand not seeing your boyfriend for a few days, find a way to see him more often, or ask him to contact you more often when you're out and about.
- If your boyfriend tries to tempt you into doing naughty things while you're alone in the room, stay away from the room. Don't lie in bed with him, and consider limiting time alone until you're sure he won't cross the line.
Step 2. Make plans that are sure to be fulfilled
Know yourself, and stick to your beliefs. Don't agree on a plan for the next six months if you don't even know what you're going to do next week! Some people are more comfortable with future plans, while others prefer to figure out what to do as they go along-and that's okay. If you are in a relationship with someone who prefers to plan things out, you have to balance his comfort zone with yours.
Step 3. Make time for yourself
It's easy to feel overwhelmed if you don't give yourself the time you need. This doesn't mean you have to "take a break" from your relationship; just spend a little time each day thinking about your own life and not thinking about your partner. You may find that a simple act like appreciating time for yourself will make you feel more in control of your relationship.
Spend time with friends, and don't bring your lover. Make sure you keep your friendship strong, even if you and your friends both have lovers. Your partner doesn't have to follow you everywhere
Step 4. Spend the weekend without a lover
Going out of town for a few days can give both of you a chance to cool off and evaluate what's most important. Go camping, or go to a new city, or just take a walk to some faraway place. Climb the mountain; jump into the ocean. Find a way to clear your mind.
Step 5. Don't stay
Try not to stay over at your boyfriend's house, and don't invite him over to yours. Sleeping on the same bed will make things serious – especially when sleepovers have become commonplace. The more intimate your relationship with someone, the more complicated your life will be.
Likewise with living together. Situations like married life-especially if the two of you don't really agree-can make some things feel serious. Consider whether you should downgrade your relationship or not
Tips
- Communication is key. If your boyfriend doesn't understand what's going on, he could do something you don't think is appropriate.
- Don't stick with someone if you want something else. You can always find someone else who suits you better.
