As we go about our daily lives, we need to interact with our co-workers, neighbors or family members and sometimes, you can't avoid people who are unpleasant. Interactions can be bad if you say negative words or behave rudely to them. However, the situation is very different if you engage in interactions that prevent problems from occurring, such as being proactive to maintain good relations and staying positive. Also, learn how to interact so you don't get mistreated.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Be Proactive When Interacting
Step 1. Keep the interactions as short as possible
Straightforward communication is very important when dealing with unpleasant people. The longer you are around him, the worse your mood will be. So, do the interaction as necessary with a polite attitude.
- Take time to greet him just to make small talk, for example by first saying, "Hi" and then walking to another place.
- For example, after saying hello, say to him, "Oh, the salad I was looking for seems to be there. I'll be there first!" After taking the salad, try to stay away from it.
Step 2. Apply boundaries assertively
Decide how far you want to go in response and feel free to set limits. To keep things from heating up, limit interactions so you can control your emotions.
- For example, during a conversation with a coworker who is bragging about his big salary and wants to know how much you earn, say to him, "Ben, it's better if we don't discuss salary to maintain privacy."
- If your friend frequently asks about your personal life, tell him, "I prefer to keep things private."
Step 3. Try to understand the perspective
Find out why he is behaving unpleasantly. Didn't he realize that his behavior was annoying? Is he acting like this for some reason? After considering that, you may realize that he's not to blame. Have a talk with him to provide feedback on his negative behavior so he can improve.
For example, if a coworker often invites you to chat during work hours, assume that he or she likes to be friends. So that you can focus on work, tell him, "I'm really busy, Ron. Let's postpone the chat, shall we?"
Step 4. Change the topic of conversation
If someone is discussing a topic of conversation that is boring or upsetting, change the topic to lessen the irritation and make it easier for you to interact with them.
- Choose a new, fun or neutral topic. When changing topics, try to keep the conversation flowing, rather than abruptly.
- For example, before the meeting starts, a coworker gossips about the boss's infidelity and he mentions the name of the restaurant where they were caught eating together. Stop the gossip by saying, "I heard the prawn mayonnaise at the restaurant is delicious. Have you eaten there?"
Step 5. Try to keep your distance
If you can avoid unpleasant people, this step is very effective for both of you. Do various ways so that you don't run into him.
- For example, you get the news that your cousin is coming to a restaurant for dinner with the extended family. It's a good idea to come 1 hour after the event starts because you know he usually comes home after an hour of hanging out with his family.
- If the two of you have to see each other during your daily activities, try to keep your distance from them. Sit some distance away if you are both coworkers or classmates. During a meeting or dinner, limit interaction by choosing a seat across from the table.
Step 6. Observe and then imitate how other people interact with annoying people
If you don't know what to do, observe how other people treat them. This way, you can determine which methods are useful and which are not, without having to implement them yourself.
- If the other person doesn't seem to have a problem interacting with them, find out what they're doing and then implement it.
- For example, if one of your coworkers seems to be having a conversation with someone who is annoying because they're discussing a common interest, use these tips to maintain a good relationship.
Part 2 of 3: Using a Positive Mindset
Step 1. Calm down and control your emotions
To avoid getting angry when you interact with him, try to calm yourself and control your emotions by taking a deep breath in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Take a few deep breaths while saying positive affirmations.
Say to yourself, "I'm staying calm"
Step 2. Don't be easily offended
Even if some people make fun of you, chances are high that they're unintentionally upsetting you. Maybe he doesn't think his actions offended you.
If the annoying person is upsetting everyone, it means it wasn't you who made him or her behave badly. This will make it easier for you to understand their behavior and not get angry when you interact with them
Step 3. Remember that he is a human just like you
Everyone can make mistakes, and so can you. Everyone has traits that are not necessarily pleasing to people. When you meet him, be honest with yourself by finding out why you don't like him.
It could be that you don't like someone because they remind you of yourself. For example, you may feel irritated at a coworker who is always seeking attention because you secretly want to be noticed yourself
Step 4. Try to see the good
Maybe you very rarely meet people who do not have good qualities. Even if it's annoying things that make someone's kindness invisible, look for 1 or 2 positive traits and then focus on them so that you can still respect them.
For example, an obnoxious mother-in-law cares deeply about her children and grandchildren. Remember his kindness when his behavior is not pleasant
Step 5. Reply to bad behavior by being kind
When interacting, show a positive attitude by treating him the way you would like to be treated. Greet him with a friendly smile. Make sure you stay nice and polite to him.
- To make things easier, imagine that you are interacting with a very pleasant person.
- By being nice to him, who knows his behavior will not be annoying anymore so that the interaction is more pleasant.
Step 6. Determine what annoys you
Maybe he has a personality problem if he behaves badly with you. Write down the actions that provoked you and how they made you feel (angry, jealousy, annoyance, etc.).
- Finish writing, think of the best solution to solve the problem. For example, if you're annoyed that someone discusses different political options over a family dinner, enforce the "don't talk about politics over a family meal" rule.
- If you feel jealous of other people, find out which aspects of your life need improvement. Use this awareness to set and achieve new goals.
Part 3 of 3: Troubleshooting
Step 1. Communicate assertively using the word "I/I"
If he's bullying you or breaking boundaries, say what you want calmly using the word "I/I."
- For example, "I feel unappreciated when you criticize my presentation. Instead of just discussing my flaws, can you come up with a solution?"
- The problem gets worse if the situation is allowed to escalate by fighting or defending oneself. On the other hand, the tension will subside and your wishes will be fulfilled if you have a calm discussion.
- Don't blame other people. You can express your opinion without justifying yourself or blaming others. To calm yourself down, repeat positive affirmations and remind yourself not to get offended easily.
Step 2. Make the decision to leave it
You can apply various theories about how to communicate well, but sometimes, there's nothing you can do about interacting with unpleasant people. If he's being rude or continues to annoy you, it's best to stay away from this person.
- State your position politely. Instead of just walking away or saying you don't want to talk to him anymore, say what you want and say goodbye.
- For example, tell him, "I don't want to talk about this. I'd better go."
Step 3. Learn to give in
Relieve tension so the situation doesn't escalate. If the conversation with the annoying person turns into an argument, try to stop it by giving in. This step can reduce the anger that is building up so you can still interact with him.
This method is especially useful if you are both so annoyed with each other that you often get into fights with him. He can no longer attack you if you give in
Step 4. Ask a mediator for help
Quarrels can be prevented if there is a third party that mediates between the two of you. Depending on the relationship, find a mediator who is willing to help you resolve the issue.
Choose an impartial person, such as a coworker or family member who is not involved in your problem and is able to be objective
Step 5. Don't let him position himself as a victim
Take control of your emotions even if they continue to make fun of you and make you angry. Once you lose your temper, you let him control you by showing an innocent expression, while you seem like a "troublemaker."
- If you are always calm and polite, others will believe your explanations if you come into conflict with an annoying person.
- After all, only you can determine how you want to feel and how to respond to the current situation. Other people can't piss you off unless you let them.
