Your grandmother has made a very ugly sweater. Your friend gave you a CD of a band you really hate. The kids are waiting for your happy reaction to their gift of a pink and green polka dot tie. Your neighbors keep on giving them super-itchy green socks as gifts. Almost everyone has received a bad gift, but that doesn't mean you can make the giver feel bad.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Saying the Right Thing
Step 1. Say "thank you"
All gifts deserve a "thank you" from you. Look the gift giver in the eye and show your sincere gratitude.
- You can say, "Thank you so much! I really appreciate it."
- You can comment on the kindness and generosity of the gift. "You're so cheap!" or "You're so kind!"
Step 2. React to the gift giver's intentions
If you're having trouble smiling to show gratitude for something you'll never use, or something you don't want, try to respect the gift giver's intentions. It's easier to say thank you when you consider the time and effort he put into giving the gift to you.
- "Thank you very much! You are very considerate!"
- "I really appreciate your concern for me!"
Step 3. Respect the intention of the giver
Think back to why you were given the gift, and say thank you for that reason. Even if the gift given isn't great, chances are the giver has some reason for choosing it.
- "You still remember that I like chocolate!"
- "Thanks for the socks! How do you know that my feet get cold easily?"
- "Thanks for the CD! I really wanted to hear some new music."
Step 4. Ask questions
Ask the giver about the gift and what he thinks about it. This allows you to dodge questions about whether you will use it or not, how often you will use it, etc. Ask where she bought it, if she has the same, or the best way to wear it (if possible). In general, load the conversation onto the gift giver (and not you) when reacting to a gift you don't like.
- "Do you have this CD too? What's your favorite song?"
- "I've never seen socks like this. Where did you buy them? Do you have them too?"
- "I obviously don't have this sweater. How long have you been knitting? How long have you been knitting?"
Step 5. Lie if you can
If you're okay with lying a little to keep the gift giver feeling, say that you like the gift. Most people tolerate lying a little so that the gift giver is not disappointed.
- However, you can't lie big. Say you like the gift, but don't say it's the best gift you've ever received, or promise to wear it every day.
- If you don't want to lie, just don't say you hate the gift.
- "Thank you very much! What a wonderful gift."
- "Thanks for the gift! Where did you buy it?"
Step 6. Tell the truth if you are familiar
If the gift giver is someone you know very well, and you're very close to him, just tell him the truth if he's urgent. You guys can laugh about this together.
Bad gifts are usually trivial matters, but lying can lead to bad problems
Step 7. Suspend the question
If the gift giver thinks you don't like the gift, he or she can start asking if you "do" like it, or if you'd like to use it. You can lie a little, or reply to a question with more questions so you don't have to answer the question.
- Where possible, persuade the gift giver to provide advice on how/when to make the most of the gift concerned. Then, reply with "Okay, I'll keep that in mind." short and move on to the next guest.
- If the gift was clearly given in bad faith, you may neglect your courtesy and respect. Don't be afraid to refuse to accept the gift.
Part 2 of 4: Reacting Emotionally
Step 1. React as soon as possible
If you've already opened a gift, immediately thank the giver. If you open a gift and pause for a moment, you will look disappointed.
Step 2. Make eye contact
Look the gift giver straight in the eye when thanking him! Even if you can't give a perfectly happy expression, you can always respect the giver's intentions with all your heart.
Step 3. Smile if you can
If you are a good actor, give the gift giver a big smile. This can remind yourself that the gift giver just wants to make you happy! That alone was already a precious gift. You just smile if you can do it naturally.
Don't force a smile because it will look fake
Step 4. Hug the gift giver
If you're not a very good actor, one great way to hide your disappointed face and expression while showing your gratitude is to hug the gift giver. If you are used to cuddling with the gift giver, hug immediately after opening the gift.
A hug is an honest and affectionate expression that shows that you really appreciate the gift
Step 5. Be natural
You don't have to fake excitement. Instead, think about the sincerity of the gift giver, who wants to please you by giving a gift. Tell yourself, "he gave me this gift to make me happy."
If you can, smile. If you're not good at acting, just say thank you
Part 3 of 4: Handling Gifts
Step 1. Send a thank you card
While all gifts deserve a thank you card, this kind of response is more important for gifts you don't want. This will reduce some (if not all) of the anxiety the gift giver has about your attitude toward the gift (or over him for giving the gift). Send it about a week after you receive the gift. When writing a letter, allude to the intention behind the gift rather than the gift itself. Don't be too specific about your involvement with the prize, which may be nothing more than "I enjoyed it."
- "Thank you so much for taking the time to come. I'm so glad you took the time and effort to knit a sweater for me. Thank you again so much!"
- "I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming the other day. You even bothered to bring me a present. I'm glad I got a new CD to add to my collection."
Step 2. Give gifts to other people
If you really want to handle this gift right away, you can give it to someone else. However, be careful not to get caught red-handed. Even if you have openly expressed your feelings about the gift received, it is still unethical to give it directly to someone else. At the very least, make sure the new recipient will really like the gift. Your only defense in a situation like this is to honestly insist that you have given the relevant gift to someone who truly appreciates it. Otherwise, you can also donate related gifts to the foundation.
Step 3. Let time heal everything
Usually, the anxiety and awkwardness of being given a gift lasts only a short time during this time. Over time, most people begin to appreciate and realize the intention behind the gift (as they should). So if you're not honest from the start, don't be afraid to tell your true feelings if the giver keeps pushing you.
- Say you tried it, but still don't like it. Pretend that you are as surprised as the gift giver when you hear this.
- Do your best to ease the situation, but don't act like you regret receiving the gift. A sincere even if unwanted gift is still better than nothing.
- Ask if the gift giver would like to accept the gift back. If this gift is something the giver still wants or uses himself, offer to have it back. Most people will refuse out of courtesy, and you have to accept it. Never force to return a gift because it will be considered rude.
Part 4 of 4: Avoiding the Repeat of Bad Gifts
Step 1. Create a wishlist (wish list)
If the situation is appropriate, for example for a birthday party or holiday, you can try making a list of the items you want. This wishlist doesn't have to be strictly a list, but know what you want to achieve. For friends or family who repeatedly give bad gifts, be very clear about what you want from them. If your only desire is to avoid bad gifts, suggest gifts that are cheap and easy to get.
- "I still haven't finished listening to the CD you gave me. However, I'm really looking forward to the next [artist name] album, which should be out before Christmas."
- "I really like the socks you gave me. I wear them every day at home. I saw shoes that matched the socks perfectly in [store name]."
Step 2. Be a good gift giver
For chronically bad gift givers, find out what they want as a gift. Don't be afraid to ask "what gift do you want?" If they are cat shy or say “anything is fine”, push further. Everyone always wants something so try to find out. Hopefully, he will emulate your efforts when choosing a gift for you.
Step 3. Speak frankly
If the gift giver is still being stubborn, it's best to say something before your house is filled with unwanted gifts. Hopefully you know the gift giver enough to explain without offending him. Otherwise, be prepared to face his disappointment, even if your reasons are strong enough. Moments after the gift is given, pull the giver away from the other guests, and say honestly "I'm not sure this gift is right for me."
- "You know I like music, but this genre is too foreign to me. I don't like this kind of music."
- "I really appreciate you knitting something for me. However, the wardrobe is already too full."
- "I have to be honest: none of my clothes match the socks you've been giving me. I'm very grateful for the gift, but I'll most likely never wear them."
Warning
- If the gift giver is someone you're very close with or see often, it's a good idea to be honest with him about the gift.
- If you want to give a gift you received to someone else, give it to someone outside your circle of friends or areas of your life. Give the gift to a person who is unlikely to meet your gift giver.
