Whether you're shy or have a very busy schedule, improving your social life can sometimes feel like a must. Making new friends and attending more events can have multiple benefits in your life. You can build stronger relationships, learn new things, and maybe discover something about yourself that you didn't know before. With the right attitude and approach, improving your social life can be both fun and rewarding.
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Method 1 of 3: Getting More Friends to Socialize
Step 1. Use social media to connect with your friends as well as their friends
If you are a busy person or simply have difficulty making initial bonds with people in person, social media can be an excellent place to maintain and develop relationships that lead to a more meaningful social life in the real world.
- Dating sites like OK Cupid have settings that allow you to search for people who are particularly interested in friendships rather than romantic relationships.
- Try starting an online conversation with a question about the person's profile or one of their photos.
- Avoid making comments about appearance. People will listen much more when you try to build a relationship based on their interests. If someone is kayaking in one of her photos, ask how long she's been doing the activity, rather than commenting on how good she looks in her swimsuit.
- Using Skype or another video messaging service to ask people you haven't seen in a long time is a much more intimate and social way to connect than, for example, just emailing each other, or texting each other once in a while.
Step 2. Start a conversation with a lot of people
One of the best ways to improve your social life is to build new relationships with lots of people. This includes getting to know them better, including sharing ideas and stories. Ask someone how his day was or what he has planned for the weekend. Compliment her outfit or ask her what movies or TV series she likes.
- The office cafeteria and lunch room are great places to socialize with fellow schoolmates or coworkers. You can also try: bars, parks, bookstore readings, before and after worship at places of worship, sporting events, concerts, farmer's markets, parties, dance events, or art exhibitions. Be creative. Think of places where people gather with something easy to talk about. People at dog beach will love to talk about their dog. People at art events will find it interesting to talk about art.
- Approaching new people can be scary. Take a deep breath and put on a friendly face.
- If the person is alone, ask if you can sit with them.
- Show interest and friendliness by smiling when you start a conversation.
- Make eye contact and maintain it as you speak. Eye contact doesn't need to be constant, but you need to return to it frequently to show the person that you're interested in what he or she has to say.
- Keep the conversation going by asking questions about him. Follow your curiosity. "What breed of dog do you have?", "How long have you been interested in comic books?", "So you played soccer in high school?"
Step 3. Listen when people talk to you
Your skill to be a good listener will make your social life very developed. When talking to other people, pay attention to what they are saying. Show him that you're listening by nodding your head or showing a reaction on your face such as a smile or a worried expression. This will help the person speaking to feel comfortable with you, which will make them want to tell you more and will bring the two of you closer together.
- Make eye contact with him when he's talking to show that you care.
- Listen for things you might have in common with yourself. Shared interests are the reason many people build friendships.
- Listen to the things you want to know more about. Asking questions will allow you to get to know him better.
- Try to listen to his tone when he speaks. If he sounds bored with the conversation, try moving it to another topic. If he sounds excited, you can continue talking about the topic.
Step 4. Practice your social skills every day to feel more comfortable with them
Set small goals for yourself throughout the day. Maybe you're trying to strike up a conversation with a coworker, or just trying to say good morning to the barista at the coffee shop. The more comfortable you are with socializing, the easier it will be.
Even if you don't end up hanging out with the person in the end, you'll still get a lot to gain by practicing your skills with them
Step 5. Don't be discouraged if your skills don't develop right away
Improving your social life won't happen overnight. A lot of this has to do with the friends you make and the relationships you build, and both take time. Be patient. A little effort every day will grow faster than you think!
Make a table or list of things you do to try to improve your social life. This way, even if you haven't been successful enough, you can see your overall progress. This will help keep you motivated
Method 2 of 3: Getting More Calls from People You Like
Step 1. Let people know you have free time and are interested in hanging out
You don't have to overdo it, but sometimes people might not think about taking you out somewhere because they think you're busy or uninterested. Post a status on Facebook every now and then like, “I'm looking for something fun to do this weekend. Anyone have any ideas?” will let people know that you have free time and want to meet you.
If someone is telling you something fun they're doing, let them know that you're interested in participating in the same activity. "Boogie boarding sounds so fun, I'd like to try it sometime."
Step 2. Ask the other person what the plan is after work or on the weekend
When you show interest in them, they will show interest in you. They may ask you to come along if they are going out for drinks or going to a museum. Even if they don't invite you, you can still come up with some great ideas to do yourself that will allow you to meet new people.
Step 3. Don't participate uninvited
Not everyone will ask you to come along, either because they don't pick up on your signal or maybe because they can't for some reason. The worst thing you can do is be too pushy to be included. Be patient.
Step 4. Get out of your comfort zone
Generate the will to do some of the things that make you a little uncomfortable, knowing that they will eventually help you grow. This can be as simple as starting a conversation at an office event or at school lunchtime.
Method 3 of 3: Trying New Things to Meet New People
Step 1. Take courses to meet like-minded people
Find something you are interested in learning more about and sign up for the class. This can be a great way to meet new people with similar interests.
- If you're in school, try taking a class you've never taken before. On campus, you may consider taking elective courses outside of your main course.
- If you are no longer in school, consider taking a class at your local community academy. A spiritual community, library, local arts center, or park area may also provide courses for children and adults.
- Courses such as salsa dancing, cooking, or acting involve a lot of participation and interaction with other students.
- Ask your classmate whether he or she would like coffee or go outside for a drink after class. You can talk about the day's lesson or how you got attracted to the course in the first place. Both are great starting points for trying to get to know new people.
Step 2. Join a sport in a neighborhood
Many park areas have sports leagues in their neighborhood such as softball, basketball, or soccer. These groups usually consist of amateur players and tend to focus on socialization and competition.
- Don't worry if you're not an expert in sports. Most of these leagues are more focused on having fun than winning. Even so, ask questions. Discuss with the league president or park administrator. Ask him what the league is like. Tell him what you're looking for and he may be able to put you in a group of like-minded people.
- Give encouragement to other players. Congratulations on a good game.
Step 3. Go to parties to meet new people
Parties can feel overwhelming, but they can be a great place to meet new people and expand your social circle. If your friends or family members are hosting a birthday party or other celebration, make sure you attend.
- Don't just stand in the corner of the room. Move around and mingle with all kinds of people.
- Ask the host to introduce yourself to some new people. This will take some of the initial stress off of you.
- If you don't get many invites to parties, don't worry. As long as you increase your social circle using some of the other steps here, party invitations will appear immediately.
Step 4. Look at the city's event schedule section in your local newspaper for social events in your area
Look for events in your area such as concerts, essay readings, or special occasions at bars and restaurants. These events often have a party feel and rarely require an invitation to attend.
Step 5. Go to meetings related to the things you are interested in
Websites like meetup.com are a great place to find like-minded people. Try finding meetings that focus on hobbies you have such as playing video games, collecting baseball cards, computer programming, or bird watching. You can also look for people who share the same beliefs and are interested in discussing and sharing knowledge. Things like religious studies, gender equality, or amateur philosophy are good things to look for.
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