Establishing good eye contact can be difficult, and we all need to learn this communication skill when we encounter important interactions. You can learn how to look people in the eye if you want to become a more skilled listener and speaker and cultivate a more reassuring aura of presence, as well as during conversations to make the right impression.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Practice in Conversation
Step 1. Try to relax as much as possible
As with everything, the more you think about what you're doing, the more awake and awkward you will become. This clumsiness of yours can be misinterpreted as dishonesty, and you will destroy the good development you have created.
- Usually, eye contact is more difficult for people who are more authoritarian or intimidating. Unfortunately, it's usually at times like these that you have to show confidence to get the other person's full attention. This is the reason why you should relax.
- If you have an important conference or interview, do some breathing exercises beforehand to slow your heart rate and allow oxygen to relax you. Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down.
Step 2. Focus on one eye
Locking other people's eyes with your gaze is difficult. Generally, it is recommended that you focus on only one eye or point on the person's face, instead of trying to look into both eyes at once.
If it helps, try looking at both eyes alternately instead of focusing on just one eye. Focus on one eye for 10 seconds, then switch to the other eye
Step 3. Find a point to place the view on
Looking at the bridge of the nose, eyebrows, or under the eyes will create the illusion of eye contact, without the intimidation of actual eye contact. The other person won't be able to tell the difference, so you can focus on listening to them to be a good conversationalist.
Step 4. Avert your eyes by nodding or making gestures while listening to the other person
Avert your eyes every now and then, moving your body as you do so. However, don't do this just because you feel uncomfortable. Try dressing it up by laughing, nodding, or smiling. You'll look natural and still feel comfortable when you need a break.
Step 5. Try to keep your eyes focused while you talk and listen
Maintaining eye contact while thinking about what to say is much more difficult than looking the other person in the eye while you are listening. Don't be afraid to look away every now and then, but try to keep your face and eyes pointing forward as you speak.
Looking up while speaking sometimes indicates a lie, while looking down indicates confusion. Therefore, try to look straight ahead, even if you feel uncomfortable and can't maintain eye contact. Look at the other person's ears, or chin, or anywhere else, as long as you're not looking up or down
Part 2 of 3: Practice at Home
Step 1. Use practice sessions to remind yourself to keep eye contact
An important part of eye contact is remembering what you are supposed to do. If your inclination is to stare at your shoes, try practicing alone so that your next natural response is to focus on the other person's eyes. You can do this while watching television, in front of a mirror, or in a variety of other ways.
Step 2. Practice with the television
One of the easiest ways is to practice eye contact when you are alone and watching TV. Focus on making eye contact with on-screen characters and practice the same in real-life conversations.
Eye contact with TV characters will certainly be very different from eye contact with real people. The purpose of the exercise here is to get you used to it, not to fake the feeling of making eye contact
Step 3. Try watching a video blog
If you don't have a TV, look for Youtube vlogs and other videos of people staring at screens. This way, your eye contact practice will feel more real. These videos are widely available and free, and are little better than just guessing how you feel when you make eye contact during a conversation.
Step 4. Try chatting via video
If you have a close friend you're fun to talk to, try using Skype or another video chat service to practice eye contact. This is usually easier than direct eye contact, as you and the other person are limited by the computer screen.
Step 5. Practice looking at yourself in the mirror
Again, it won't feel the same as eye contact with someone else, but you can still train your eyes to look at their reflection in the mirror instead of avoiding them. Take a few minutes after/before bathing to get used to looking other people in the eye.
Step 6. Learn to pretend to look other people in the eye if you have an illness or disability that makes it difficult for you to do so
Looking into other people's eyes may feel scary or terrifying to people with autism, anxiety disorders, and other illnesses. Don't push yourself to have a pleasant conversation.
- Look at the area around the other person's eyes, such as their nose, mouth, or chin.
- If they don't notice you're not looking them in the eye (but it's unlikely), say something like "It's hard for me to look other people in the eye. I'd hear your story more easily if I wasn't looking into your eyes."
Step 7. Do it slowly
You don't have to leave feeling uncomfortable right away and look the other person in the eye intently for everyone you're talking to. In fact, this action can cause discomfort. You may actually have tried looking into the eyes to some degree, but if you're still not used to it, practice slowly.
If you put extra effort into locking the other person's eyes during a conversation every day, this means you've succeeded. You do not have to linger chatting while looking into his eyes
Part 3 of 3: Making the Right Impression
Step 1. Practice listening
During a conversation, if you're really focused on what the other person is saying, don't worry about eye contact. Nodding, repeating important pieces of information, using friendly body language, and practicing other active listening skills are all important when chatting. To listen actively, you must:
- Sit up straight on the bench
- Nodding
- Listen carefully and repeat important information
- Process what the other person is saying
- Be active and don't just wait your turn to speak
- Respond accurately to the interlocutor
Step 2. Find a comfortable midpoint
While listening, you must maintain 80% eye contact. Also, you can look away occasionally while moving your head, to show that you're still listening. Stay calm and don't overthink so that your actions remain natural.
Avoid staring intently. Eye contact is fine, but don't make yourself look intimidating by looking intently at the other person. Remind yourself that you want to have a nice conversation with this person, you don't have to worry or worry
Step 3. Show the magnetic aspect of the eye
This means you shouldn't immediately take your eyes off someone else's attention. If the phone rings, don't immediately stare at it as if you were just saved from a boring conversation by the ringing of the phone. Instead of acting like this, show some reluctance before staring at the phone screen.
Averting your gaze and then immediately looking back at the other person is a good idea. However, keep in mind that important distractions like priority/danger interrupts still require instant attention
Step 4. Smile with your eyes
Keep your eyebrows relaxed, or your eyes will look suspicious/intimidating, even if you remember doing it. Keep your eyes as wide open as possible, avoid squinting – this could indicate that you don't like what the other person is saying. Don't even furrow your brows or it could sound like you're angry.
Go in front of the mirror and look into your eyes when you smile, squint, or frown. See the difference in expression? Practice keeping your eyes as if you're smiling, even when you're not actually doing it
Step 5. Always maintain eye contact at job interviews
Eye contact and good listening skills are essential when you're taking a job interview, but also whenever you want to communicate respect and show concern. Potential employers may think you're hiding something or insecure if you have trouble making eye contact, reducing your job opportunities.
Step 6. Make eye contact with your date
Eye contact shows both interest and respect – these two things must be present in a good dating session. When you're out with someone you like, try to maintain eye contact for as long as possible. Remember, the eyes are the windows to the heart.
Eye contact can also be a good way to assess your partner's attraction, but you shouldn't jump to conclusions. If your partner is having a hard time maintaining eye contact, it might be because he wants to get home quickly, but it could also be because he's just as nervous as you are
Step 7. Make eye contact when you want to emphasize something
If you have a serious argument or discussion, you may be tempted to look away. This shows a lack of trust, or reluctance towards the other person – avoid this. If you disagree, look the other person in the eye firmly to communicate confidence that what you are saying is true.
When someone tries to intimidate you, they want you to look away. Frustrate him by rejecting him, look him in the eye again
Tips
- You can practice by imagining a person's face while talking on the phone or chatting online.
- If you can't maintain eye contact because you're bored, wait for a pause in the conversation and then change the subject.
- Regular eye contact is not easy to cause tension.
- Use a polite excuse to withdraw from the conversation: "Oh, I didn't notice the time! Sorry; I have to go – I have an appointment. Nice to talk to you."
- Think of the other person as someone who can confidently make eye contact. Imagine how important it is for him to look at the other person in order to maintain eye contact.
Warning
- If you're looking at your eyebrows or the bridge of your nose, make sure they're the only areas you're looking at. Do not turn your gaze around the other person's face. You will look as if you are investigating blemishes, pimples, blackheads, burns, skin disorders, boils, etc. on the skin.
- Look at the other person's eyes, but not sharply! Staring intently will make you look like a freak, or, worse, an obsessed stalker! Also make sure you are always confident!
