Getting your ex-girlfriend back is not easy. It's hard to get a guy to come back with you after it's all over, regardless of who ended the relationship, he or she or you who broke up before realizing the big mistake you made. But don't worry-it's hard, but not impossible. If you create distance, understand the problems that caused the relationship to fail and work on yourself, you'll be able to get him back in no time. If you want to know how, follow these steps.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Creating Distance
Step 1. Get away from your ex
Maybe you really want to get back at him, but the worst thing you can do is be around him too much, call, or wink until he understands. Yes, maybe he will understand if you are always around him, but he will not like it. Instead, you should distance yourself and stay out of sight, for at least a few weeks or more.
- You can decide if you want to cut contact altogether, or if that's not possible because of one school or work place.
- Stop calling or texting her. Even if it's to tell a joke that reminds you of him, it's better to hold back.
- Try to avoid them, even when you're hanging out with the same friends. If you notice he's also at the party you're at, there's no need to be rude, but don't spend too much time chatting with him.
- Keeping your distance from your ex doesn't have to be rude. If you run into him, don't run, but you don't have to linger or talk about unimportant things either
Step 2. Think about what went wrong
When you're apart, you're in a great position to reflect on problems in the relationship. If you want him to come back, you have to find out exactly what the problem is so you don't do it again. The problem may be simple, or it may take a long time to resolve. Examples of problems in relationships are as follows:
- Maybe you're too jealous and controlling, and he can't handle it anymore.
- Maybe you two don't spend enough time together.
- Maybe he feels that you don't care or love him enough.
- Maybe he feels you are too clingy and always around him.
- There may be a change in circumstances, like one has to move out of town, or he's going to college in a few months and wants to be alone first.
- Maybe you two don't get along and keep fighting.
Step 3. Make a plan to address the problem
Now that you know what's going on in the relationship-which may be a combination of several issues at once, not just one-it's time to think about ways to make a difference if the opportunity comes together again. You certainly don't want to get back into a relationship with him just to go through the same problems and drama.
- You should try to make a big change, either by controlling one aspect of your personality that is causing problems in the relationship, or thinking of ways to change the dynamics of the relationship.
- If the problem is your jealousy, you need to think of ways to reduce jealousy.
- If he feels that you are too controlling or controlling, you should try to reduce the urge to do so.
- If the two of you fight a lot, you can think of ways to avoid getting into an argument.
- If the problem is more with him, you can think of a way to get back together without those problems-maybe he wants to change. But if he doesn't want to change and you know this problem is going to be a thorn in the flesh, you should reconsider the decision to go back to him.
Step 4. Improve yourself
Take the time to fix any issues that caused the relationship to break down, and enjoy some time alone or hanging out with your friends. Write down three flaws in yourself that you would like to change, and gradually improve them. Human development takes a lifetime, but even the smallest steps towards self-improvement can help a relationship.
- If you're engrossed in spending quality time with yourself, your ex will wonder where you are. If you're busy focusing on yourself, he'll think about you more and more.
- Spend time with your girlfriends, exercise, or indulge in your favorite hobby.
- Take some time to improve, but not too long. If you spend months working on this issue and it disappears completely off his radar, your ex will probably forget about you.
Method 2 of 3: Get Him To Notice You Again
Step 1. Let your ex see you having fun without him
After enough time has passed and you feel that he too has thought, you should start giving him the opportunity to see you having fun. Start attending parties she's attending, or go with your friend to her favorite bar or coffee shop. Don't be too obvious, but let him see how happy you and your friends are, he'll remember that spending time with you is fun.
- If you know that you are going to meet him, dress up but don't clearly imply that you are dressing for him.
- When you meet him, greet him with a smile and a surprised expression-you're too busy having fun to think about the possibility of meeting him there.
Step 2. Make him jealous (optional)
This method isn't for everyone, but if you think your ex will be jealous and want you back after he sees you with another guy or chats with a group of guys, give it a try. This doesn't mean you have to get a new boyfriend just to make him jealous. Try flirting with other people, tossing your hair, or even hitting the dance floor with a guy or two.
Be careful this way, don't overdo it. If he thinks that you're dating someone else, he's probably going to back off. Or who knows, maybe he just wants you more
Step 3. Make him jealous on social media
In a subtle way, post photos of when you're having fun with some friends, photos of you at the beach, or when you're hanging out with some guy friends. This will make your ex remember that you had a lot of fun and feel sad that he can no longer enjoy your time with you. Don't do this too often-just once or twice a week to remind him of your lovely self.
Choose the time he's usually online-if you know his schedule, you'll know when he's most likely to see your photos
Step 4. Start chatting with him again
Take steps to make your relationship warmer. Continue the casual greeting with a short chat, then a longer chat in ten or even twenty minutes. Make sure you always say goodbye first, and don't hold it in any longer than he'd like. This will make him even more sad to see you go. Then, wait for him to ask you for coffee, or be brave and ask him first.
Do not put any signs that indicate that you want to continue the relationship that was broken. Just show your friendly and awesome self, he will definitely want to be back with you
Step 5. Let him see that you have changed
Once you've had the chance to spend time with him once or twice a week, let him see that the qualities in you or in the relationship that he didn't like before are now gone. If he feels that you never listened to him in the past, give him a chance to talk more. If he thinks that you used to be too clingy, let him see that you are now very independent.
Don't make your changes overtly. Don't say, "Don't you see that I'm no longer jealous when you talk to other girls?" Better, just don't look jealous when he's talking to other girls, he'll figure it out himself
Step 6. Read the signs
If your ex wants to come back, you'll know. How did you find out that he liked you? Chances are he will send out the same signal. If he flirts with you, says you look beautiful, touches you lightly, or asks what you're doing or if you already have someone else, well, chances are he'll want to come back.
- Look at his body language. Does he make eye contact, try to stand close to you, and his face brightens when he meets you? If so, chances are he wants to come back to you.
- If he just wants to keep you in the Friend Zone, he won't be caring or affectionate towards you.
- Try to find out if he's dating someone else from Facebook or ask your friend who is also his friend, but don't be too obvious. It's possible that he already has someone else and is talking to you just to be friendly or because he wants to be friends.
Step 7. Start the relationship slowly
If your ex starts flirting and understands that you want to come back, he may ask you to move on if he feels the same way. Or if you feel that he enjoys spending time with you, you can come out and talk about how you feel, and move on if he feels the same way.
- This time, take it slow. Don't see him more than a few times a week. Try to build a strong new foundation, not build on the rubble of past relationships.
- You should be more independent than ever, unless one of the problems in the relationship is your excessive freedom. Don't build your social plan based on his schedule, and spend more time with your friends or doing things on your own.
Method 3 of 3: Keeping Him By Your Side
Step 1. Don't make the same mistake
Remember that brooding period after a breakup? The reflection can be applied now. When you are back with him, remember the past and try not to repeat it. If the problem is fighting too much, remind yourself to calm down when you feel the urge to fight. If the problem is that you're being rude to his friends, try being kinder this time-he's worth the effort.
If it's your ex who did something wrong, gently remind him that what he did caused the problems that destroyed the relationship in the past
Step 2. Don't burden yourself
While you should avoid making the same mistakes, if you're constantly obsessed with not doing it wrong, you won't be able to enjoy the relationship. Just relax and don't think about it too much unless there's a conflict. If you worry too much about losing him again with every step you take, you won't be able to enjoy the moment.
If you're worried that the relationship will end again, he'll know about it, and that will make him insecure too
Step 3. Start from scratch
Don't think of this relationship as Chapter Two - think of you and him as two people starting a new relationship but better equipped to deal with any obstacles that may arise. While you can't forget the past completely, it's also pointless to dwell on or bring up old problems. Of course when past memories come along, you should talk about them, but assume you're starting from scratch.
You start over from scratch, and this time, you live it more understanding
Step 4. Don't forget to be yourself
Self-improvement to improve relationships is important as long as both parties are trying. But don't completely change yourself just to conform to the image he wants of you. You should only change if you want to change, not because of him. Remember that he used to like you for a reason, so if you change too much, he will lose the girl he fell in love with.
There's a difference between fixing flaws and being a completely different person. It's a good thing to fix flaws, but don't completely change yourself just for the sake of a relationship
Step 5. Realize that this relationship is not going to work
If you've been back with your ex for a while and things are still going wrong, it's possible that the relationship ended for a good reason. Some couples make it through the drama of a breakup and get back together again, but there's usually a reason two people can't be together, and that reason is that they aren't right for each other. If the same problem is haunting your relationship again, or if you or he is unhappy, it may be time to let go of the relationship.
- Be honest with yourself. If you've tried everything and it still doesn't work, maybe now you should give it up.
- Be proud of yourself for really trying to get him back. At least now you know it wasn't worth the effort-better to know the truth now than to keep wondering what would happen if you fought for his love.
Tips
- Don't be aggressive if he doesn't like you at first.
- If he doesn't really like you, stop. He's not for you. Do not be sad. He's the one who lost.
- Try to look as beautiful as possible.
Warning
- Don't try too hard.
- Make sure you don't look stupid when trying to impress her, like tossing her hair, trying to make her laugh, etc.
- Be careful not to let the brush of your hair hit it, especially if you have coarse hair.
