Friendship knows no bounds, especially if you find someone who shares your hobbies and interests. There are several types of friends, with different IQs or intelligence levels. Whatever your IQ, you can make friends with someone who has a high IQ or even a genius, if you try to deepen that friendship and be careful of the potential problems interacting with these highly intelligent people.
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Method 1 of 2: Deepen Your Friendship
Step 1. Focus on the person's personality, not their intelligence
If a person is very intelligent, chances are that a lot of people focus on that person's intelligence. Remember that your friend is a friend, not just a “brain.” Paying attention to your friend and every aspect of their personality can help you enjoy your time together and strengthen your friendship with them.
- Be aware that those with higher IQs often have fewer friends and may tend to feel awkward when socializing. Therefore, you need to learn to focus on doing things with just your friends without involving anyone else.
- Remember that you can acknowledge your friend's intelligence, but don't focus on his intelligence when you're with him. Instead, consider doing activities and talking about things that you and your friends both enjoy.
- Avoid believing stereotypes about your friend's intelligence. He may not be as cheerful as some of your friends, but that doesn't mean he's as intelligent and rigid as the characters on television.
- Try to remember that you're smart too, and even though your friend might make you look stupid in the things she's good at, she's still a human being, too. Outside of his area of expertise, he's just like you: can make stupid mistakes, can get confused, and needs guidance. After all, he is human too. What human doesn't need the occasional help of a good friend?
Step 2. Have a fruitful exchange
Conversation is an important part of any friendship. In conversation, a person feels recognized, valued, and supported. Likewise with someone who is intelligent. Keep the conversation with your smart friend going and talk about topics that both of you like or topics that you both have had experiences with together.
- Be sure to really listen when your friend is talking and engaging in a discussion. That way, your friend knows that you care and are listening to the things that are important to them.
- Make sure your conversation mixes between serious and light topics. It's okay to mix things up that are intellectual or downright silly. No one can talk about serious or intellectual things all the time, and by being friends with you they may be able to bring out their goofy side. For example, if your friend mentions a funny television show, ask about its content and think of other shows that are similar to it.
- Remember to respond to every word your friend says with a question or comment, to show that you pay attention to what he's saying and care about him.
Step 3. Move your focus away from the friend's intelligence
If a person is intelligent or has a high IQ, that person may think that others are only focused on his intelligence. Remember that humans have many facets to them and many other things or qualities they possess, far beyond mere intelligence. Forget about focusing only on your friend's intelligence power. You can turn your attention to other things, like his sense of humor or the activities you both do. Not only will this keep the conversation going, but it will also show your friend that you're more interested in other things in her than "just" her intelligence.
- Think about your friend's personality before you meet them. Ask yourself what other qualities your friend has and find ways to focus on those when talking to them. For example, you could say, “You really like food, don't you! How can you just find good food? Can't you take me to culinary with you for once?"
- Consider being frank with your friend about focusing on their intelligence. You might say, “Ah, I like to talk smart things with you, but by the time the conversation starts, my brain is already tormented. Have you watched the exploding new romantic comedy soap opera?”
Step 4. Agree to build a common liking
Be sure to mention your preferences when talking to your friend. This can guide the conversation and help your friend know that you're not just interested in their intelligence. In addition, this method also teaches both of you how to build friendships.
Use your friend's likes or comments as a way to say what you like. For example, if your friend mentions that she wants to see a Star Wars movie, use it as a way of saying, “I don't really like fiction films, I prefer romantic comedies. But I want to see a Star Wars movie and maybe I can change my mind after watching it." You can also say, “I like Vietnamese food too, but if we go to a Vietnamese restaurant tonight, how about we try Mexican food next time?”
Step 5. Build a similar experience
It doesn't matter what things you enjoy the most, try doing different things together as a “couple” of friends. You can travel together, have fun, and strengthen your bonds of friendship.
- Do activities that you both enjoy. Let this make your friendship experience even stronger in the future. For example, suggest trying a new restaurant or trying a new recipe together in the kitchen. You can also do skydiving or kite flying together.
- Consider combining serious activities with fun ones. For example, your friend may be a very intelligent scientist. A trip to your local scientific museum might be a good way to get to know your friend's talents, give them a chance to "stand out," and even pique your curiosity in a new field. This may also help you and your friend explore the dynamics of your friendship in a positive way.
- Consider taking a day trip or taking a vacation together. Relaxing together can strengthen your friendship and help the two of you to be friends not because of their intelligence. Be sure to establish “private” moments for each of you and him, which is important for someone who is intelligent.
Step 6. Keep your freedom
In some cases, you may feel intimidated by a friend who has a high IQ and assumes that every decision he makes is correct and reasonable. Instead, it's important that you continue to be yourself and express your own views and opinions. This shows your friend that you respect yourself even if you value their freedom.
- Be sure to make room for failure for your friends. Many intelligent people succeed in one friendship but have failed in another before. This gives you the option of making friends with other people, which can make you more experienced and socially intelligent.
- Be confident and trust your own opinion. In this way, your conversations with your friends will be more meaningful. If the person is really your friend, he or she will respect your opinion and give you the opportunity to express your opinion without intimidating you or making you feel stupid.
Step 7. Tell your friend that he is important
Everyone wants to feel special and appreciated by their friends, family, and peers. Smart people too. Make sure that your friend knows that you value every aspect of their personality and that you enjoy the opportunity to be with them.
- Show your happiness for your friend's accomplishments, even if you may experience certain losses. The mark of a true friend is the ability to genuinely rejoice in whatever accomplishments one may experience. You can tell or write a special greeting to your friend by saying, “Congratulations” or “I'm so glad you did it!”
- Be open to what your friend needs. There are times when other people make fun of your friend or when your friend feels pressured to keep achieving good results for the sake of his IQ reputation. Listen to your friend's concerns, think of ways to resolve them, then try to comfort them.
Step 8. Ask your friend to meet other friends
One of the best ways to make a new friend is to introduce one friend to another. Consider inviting your high IQ friend to meet some of your other friends, who can give them some new and different perspectives. Keep in mind that many intelligent people are not flexible when they are in a crowd, so to get started with this method, you'll need to get them into small groups of three or four people.
- Keep things light and don't tell your other friends about your friend's IQ. Knowing his IQ will cause your friends to focus solely on your friend's intelligence and not value him as someone with other traits as well.
- Ask your friend if he or she is interested in meeting your other friends before setting up the meeting. Your friend may feel more comfortable being alone with you. However, he may also be open to meeting other of your friends.
- Make sure your friends know that you enjoy the company of your intelligent friend, even if he or she may not be good at hanging out with you later. Explain that your friend feels overwhelmed and a little nervous around people who are excited and tend to engross in their own wits to overcome that nervousness.
Method 2 of 2: Dealing with Various Difficulties That May Arise
Step 1. Accept the positive as well as the negative
No friend is completely positive or completely negative, instead, each individual has many sides to him or her. Part of being a good friend is accepting every facet of your friend's personality. Accept the good times and the bad times in your friendship, which can make your friendship better and stronger.
- Understand the puns that your smart friend might say. Keep in mind that she may be very good at math, but not very good at connecting with other people. For example, if your friend feels threatened, she may use her intelligence to boost her confidence. As long as your friend isn't hurting anyone else, let him or her do it.
- Understand when your friend is in a bad mood, she's having a bad day, or feels awkward socializing. You can always explain to other friends, “He's usually fun and easy-going, but he's under stress and sometimes that makes him restless and clumsy. I hope you will meet my friend again at a better opportunity.”
Step 2. Remember why the two of you were friends in the first place
Whether it was sharing toys in the sandbox as a child or because of shared lab work on campus, there was bound to be a “spark” that started your friendship. Think about the bond between you and your friend if you're having trouble making friends or it's not easy to enjoy being with them anymore.
- Think about the similarities. Do you like “World of Warcraft” or make friends from playing ball together? Are the two of you really competing in spelling competitions or getting grades at school? Or, do you both have jobs at the same fast food restaurant? Whatever similarities you've had in the past, keep those similarities in mind to keep your friendship strong.
- Keep in mind your friend's personality in all its dimensions. Is your intelligent friend also sensitive and kind, or does he have strong judgment and can analyze other people? Focus your attention on the qualities that make this person special, and not on the things that let you down.
Step 3. Accept your friend's personality
Individuals who are talented or very intelligent usually have unique characteristics, such as being very creative and passionate about certain things. Your intelligent friend may also not have a common approach to a particular problem or situation, and this is part of what makes him or her such a special individual. Instead of feeling annoyed or even embarrassed by your friend's personality, remember that their intelligence and unique speech are part of their nature. This can help strengthen your friendship.
- Ask or alert your friend if he's acting weird. You can do this in a humorous way, for example by asking, "Have you always had that opinion?" or “Can you teach me how to think quickly about things?”
- Remember that every friend you have, regardless of their level of intelligence, is an individual and has unique and unique qualities that are unique to every human being.
Step 4. Be open to your special qualities as well
A friendship requires equal participation from both individuals, so remember that you play an equally important role in this friendship, as your intelligent friend does too. If your friend enjoys discussing physics, it's important to remember that you have different talents and traits that complement this friendship.
- Remember the qualities that your friends like. Maybe your friend appreciates your sense of humor or your amazing ability to see the good in other people. Bring these qualities out of you to strengthen friendships.
- Use humor if necessary. If your friend is getting so obsessed with something that you can't take it anymore, bring your friend back into the conversation by saying, “While you're showing off your wits, I feel like I've got a new travel idea for both of us! Imagine, the two of us making ceramic crafts!”
- Don't shy away from saying something because you think "that sounds stupid" or it "makes you look like an idiot". It's very likely that things are not as bad as you think and if he is a good friend he will think about the good side of you.
Step 5. Be honest about your doubts
Honesty is also one of the foundations of a strong friendship, including for intelligent people. If you're worried that you're not smart enough for your smart friend, remember that the person is looking for you and values your friendship, not just a match for their intelligence. Be open about your fears and anxieties in friendship. You may find that your friend shares many of the same fears.
- Start discussing various topics with your friends in a non-confrontational manner. For example, you might say, "Sometimes when we're together, I wonder why you want to be friends with me. I don't understand what you're saying at all."
- Try to focus on your friendships and not on your wits or the ongoing rivalry. Avoid being intimidated by your friend's intelligence by reminding yourself that there is a lot of good in you too.
Step 6. Realize that intelligence (IQ) scores are not the same as sociability
Think about your friends and other intelligent people you know. You may notice that they are not always successful at socializing. In fact, many intelligent people tend to experience social awkwardness from overthinking or analyzing situations, thinking psychologically, or being unable to cope with their emotions. Taking a look at the friendship barriers that your intelligent friend has might help you build these friendships and enjoy your interactions with them.
Help your intelligent friend deal with other people more effectively by supporting her or boosting her confidence in those situations. For example, you can distract yourself from your friend's intelligence by saying, “You know, Tina and I have been friends for 20 years and she's not going to tell you about this, but secretly she's a very talented painter.”
Step 7. Explain about your friend to your other friends
If your friends don't know any of your other friends or they're meeting for the first time, consider reminding your friends of your smart friend. Some people may be offended by your friend's intelligence or response to different situations, and this can help them understand your friend better.
- Tell your other friends about this smart friend of yours. Say, “I'm so glad you all got to meet Simi. We've been friends for years and we've experienced our differences at times. Get to know him and I know you'll like him as much as I do."
- Remind your friends that intelligence sometimes means an inability to socialize. You can say, “I'm sorry if my friend seems arrogant. He's not very sociable, but I can assure you he's a very kind person if you want to get to know him."
Step 8. Tell them when your friend is acting out of place
In some cases, your intelligent friend may come across as overly arrogant or even rude to you or others who are not very intelligent or who are well-spoken. If this is the case, it is better to raise the issue with your friend and explain why his or her behavior is unacceptable in social situations.
- Wherever possible, do not embarrass your friend. Instead, talk about the matter one-on-one. You can say, “Sam, your response to Peter is too much and it shouldn't be that way. He's not easy on projects quickly and you should realize that not everyone is like you in this regard. You need to be more sensitive and think about other people too in situations like this.”
- Melt the tension with surprising words. For example, by saying, "Okay, now that we all look stupid, let's find out how we can handle this." This not only helps to find a solution, but also alerts your friends to what went wrong.
- Support your friend no matter what, even if you may not support or disagree with the situation. For example, if your friend is bragging about his intelligence to others, you can support him by saying, "I understand why you say that, but I would say it myself in a more subtle way."
Tips
- Remember that you have special qualities in yourself too. You can do certain things or understand certain topics better than your friends.
- Remember that just because someone is smarter than you doesn't mean they don't like you. If people are nice to you, be nice to them too. If the person is unkind or arrogant towards you, consider making friends with other people who value you more.
- Realize that a high IQ does not mean a genius at everything. If he is an artist, he may not have good math skills or need to use a calculator every time he does calculations. If he is a mathematician, he may not be good at speaking and writing.
- If he pauses and walks away after you say something, this may not mean he's condescending to your opinion or input, but rather that he's thinking about it specifically.
Warning
- Avoid making fun of friends who have a high IQ. Most likely, he was often made fun of as a child, and that would evoke bad memories. The person may have been deeply hurt when he was a child.
- Try to get rid of the notion that your intelligent friend can conclude anything intelligently or solve any problem technically. He may indeed be highly intelligent, but that doesn't mean he knows everything, and putting himself in such a position would embarrass him. It's much better to ask questions than to assume, and don't be surprised at what your smart friend doesn't know or master.
