Sometimes it's hard to be single when everyone seems to be engrossed in a relationship. You may also be driven to find a new partner, or just feel lonely. Whether you really want to be single or not, it's important that you learn how to take care of yourself and understand that you can still live a happy life as a single person. Even if you're single and living alone, you shouldn't feel lonely and isolated!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Get Out of Relationship
Step 1. Self-defense
Whether you're stuck in an abusive relationship or simply not feeling happy with your partner, there will be times when you need to be firm and take what's best for yourself.
- People get stuck in unhealthy relationships for a number of reasons, such as guilt, financial stress, or children. It's important that you realize that you are actually trapping yourself in the relationship if you focus on those fears.
- You can start defending yourself in small steps, such as developing your own interests, making personal decisions, and spending more time without your partner.
Step 2. Fight the fear of the unknown
Many people are reluctant to leave a long-term relationship because they are not used to living alone and do not know their future after a breakup. To start a new life as a single person, you have to be willing to take risks and accept that you can't always know what will happen in the future.
- If you're not ready to leave the relationship, try focusing on developing self-care. If you consciously do things that make you happy, you may eventually develop the strength needed to leave the relationship that has been holding you back.
- Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't have the courage to leave the relationship yet. Negative thoughts about yourself will only hurt your confidence and make it harder for you to leave the relationship.
Step 3. Get to know yourself
Some people actually feel happier being single, and there's nothing wrong with that status. If you don't mind living alone and don't have a partner, don't force yourself to live a different lifestyle. Even if you don't like being single, take this opportunity to explore the things that really matter in your life.
- Usually, it's easy for people to lose a little bit of their identity in a relationship, so it may take some time for you to adjust to being single. Whether you want to be single for life or for a short period of time, try to accept and embrace your personal interests and preferences.
- Take the time to browse through all the things you are interested in. If you have a hobby that you no longer enjoyed before your relationship, re-do the hobby activity. If not, try a new hobby until you find an activity you enjoy.
- You don't need to follow the routine you developed with your ex. If you used to watch television every night from 8 to 10, think about if there's anything else you want to do after you're single.
Part 2 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Be independent
If you were previously in a long-term relationship, you may depend on your partner to do day-to-day tasks, such as mowing the lawn, cooking meals, or paying bills. As a single person, you need to take care of all these responsibilities yourself. Make a list of all the tasks your partner usually does, and learn how to complete them one by one.
- Independence can empower you. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, remember that you can take care of yourself on your own. Even when you end up in a relationship in the future, you'll always know how to do things yourself.
- Try not to get overwhelmed with all the responsibilities, and don't hesitate to ask a friend, family member, or neighbor for help if you don't know how to do something.
- Financial independence can be a big challenge if you previously depended on your partner's income. Look closely at your budget and look for aspects or expenses that can be cut. For example, you might be able to live in a smaller apartment or house as a single person, or even learn to cook so you don't have to eat at restaurants all the time. You can also make friends now if you want.
Step 2. Develop another relationship
Just because you are single, doesn't mean you are alone in this world. In fact, single people usually have stronger relationships with their friends, family members, and neighbors than married couples. To avoid feeling lonely and isolated, surround yourself with the people you love.
- Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you have attachment problems if you're single. Several studies have shown that single people have the same ability as those around them in building healthy relationships.
- If you previously spent a lot of time with other couples, you may not be invited to spend time with them anymore after you are single. They may deliberately not invite you, or try not to make you feel awkward. Whatever the decision, determine whether such "old" friends are important enough in your life to talk to about your relationship.
- Maybe you need to make new friends when you're single. Try joining a club, participating in volunteer work, or socializing with people from work. Having friends who are also single can help you make the transition easier. Use sites like Meetup to find people with similar interests and make new friends.
- You may want to join a singles group or spend time at a “single only” bar, but keep in mind that you may meet people who are looking to find a partner, and not just enjoy being single.
Step 3. Get rid of negative thoughts
There is a view that people are single because they can't find a partner, when in fact they just like that kind of lifestyle. If you are single for a long time, you may meet people who feel that there is something wrong with you. There is not much that can be done to change society's view of one's relationships. Just ignore such discrimination.
- Research shows that people who are single have no lower levels of happiness, success, or psychological health than those in relationships. Entertain yourself with this information, and remind yourself that the people who believe otherwise are the less knowledgeable.
- If you experience this kind of discrimination from close friends or family members, it's a good idea to talk to them about your decision to be single. If you can make them understand that you are happy being single and hurt when they view you negatively, they can show greater care and affection.
- If you feel lonely or isolated while single, those feelings are due to discrimination or blasphemy from others, and not from the realities of single life. This is why it's important that you stay away from people who make you feel down or sad about being single.
- If people are trying to match you, explain to them whether or not you're interested. You have the right to choose whether you want to date or not at any time. In fact, you don't really need to explain yourself.
Part 3 of 3: Enjoying the Benefits of Single Life
Step 1. Live a healthy life
According to research, single people exercise more often than married couples. This is because they have more free time or are more concerned with appearance. Whatever the reason, use your single life to stay healthy and enjoy life to the fullest.
Step 2. Be proud of your strength
Because they depend on themselves and have to deal with negative public opinion about their relationship status, single people tend to be stronger and more determined than married people. If you're feeling sad because you don't have a partner, remind yourself that those flaws are actually shaping you into a better person.
Step 3. Do what you want
There is a lot of freedom that can be felt when single. If you were previously in a long-term relationship, you may have forgotten how free you are when you can make your own decisions, without worrying about your partner's opinion or opinions. Once single, enjoy this freedom in a few simple ways:
- Travel whenever and wherever you want.
- Create a schedule according to your needs.
- Decorate your apartment or house as you wish.
- Enjoy the food you love.
- Go or spend some time indoors, or invite people over to where you live.
Step 4. Take time to enjoy the things that interest you
Single people tend to value more meaningful things than those in relationships. If you want to feel happy when you're single, it's a good idea to devote more time to something you really care about, whether it's work or volunteering.
- Single status makes it easier for you to devote your energy and thoughts to work because you don't have to bother with fulfilling relationship needs. If you plan to be single for the long term, find a job that will make you feel happy and "useful," and will encourage you to wake up in the morning. If happiness and satisfaction in life are fulfilled, your life will no longer feel empty.
- Take time to be alone so that you become a more creative person and can see the world from a different perspective. Take the time to be alone to pursue creative interests, whether it's writing, painting, or simply enjoying the beauty of the clouds in the sky.
- A new activity or experience is one of the best things to do when you're single. Take advantage of the ability to do whatever you want, and find new interests and passions to keep life exciting.
Step 5. Pursue healthy relationships if you wish
Once you've learned to "survive" when you're not in a relationship, you can decide whether you want to stay single or find a partner. Both are good choices for you to make so don't let other people pressure you to choose one or the other.
Don't rush into a relationship that doesn't feel right. Relationships should have reciprocity and you shouldn't just sacrifice your personal identity when you're in a relationship
Tips
- Don't let friends or family members force you to date. You should only date when you really want to.
- Being single can be difficult, especially during festive occasions like Christmas and Valentine's Day. Therefore, it's okay if you feel a little depressed at these moments.
- If you're invited to a party and can bring guests, it doesn't matter if you come alone or with a friend instead of a date. Do whatever is comfortable to do.
- Always remember that just because you are single doesn't mean you have to be alone all the time. You can live and spend a lot of time with other people. Loneliness can also still be felt even though you are in a relationship with someone. Therefore, don't just get into a relationship with someone just because you don't want to feel alone.
- Remember that you are an important person. If you feel alone, embrace those feelings, but don't let being alone make you feel sorry for yourself. Surround yourself with people who love you. Take up a new hobby and be a happy person.
