You may not mind fighting with your parents about the curfew, or with your sibling when he borrows your things. However, fighting with your best friend can make you feel restless and uncomfortable. A friend is someone you lean on in various situations, so it's sad when he gets angry with you. The best way to handle an argument with him is to talk about it. After that, look for ways you can make amends for your mistakes and make your friendship much closer.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Hearing the Story
Step 1. Invite him to meet
Choose a place where you can talk without distractions. To keep your emotions and tone of voice calm, it's a good idea to choose a public place such as a coffee shop or restaurant. Also tell him why you asked him to meet.
For example, you could say, “Hi! We need to talk about the problem that happened yesterday. Can we meet tomorrow after school?”
Step 2. Give him a chance to share his feelings
It's not fair if you immediately try to make up when your best friend hasn't expressed his feelings. Give him a chance to vent his frustration and mention what you did that made him angry. Use this as a lesson so you can avoid the same problem in the future.
Step 3. Listen to what he has to say and stay calm
It may be difficult for you to listen to someone mention your mistakes, even when they are true. However, the key is not to get defensive or feel angry. Cutting off the conversation, reasoning, or defending yourself will only make things worse. It's important to remember that when someone says you hurt their feelings, you have no right to deny it. Therefore, listen to the story.
Step 4. Try to understand the condition
Try to empathize with the way you see yourself from the situation at hand. Take the time to get out of your way and try to see the situation from his point of view. It is possible that what he said was true.
When you hear her story about something that upsets her, try to imagine yourself in her position. How would you feel if the same thing happened to you?
Step 5. Accept and acknowledge her feelings
After he explains his sadness or annoyance, try to accept and acknowledge his emotions. This helps you come to terms with him and you show that he's not "crazy" or "weird" for feeling these emotions. Let him know that his reaction to your actions is natural and that he has every right to be angry.
You could say, for example, "Yes, I understand why you're angry" or "I understand that I really hurt your feelings."
Method 2 of 3: Making amends and Making Peace
Step 1. Apologize and admit your mistake
You can only apologize and make amends after you want to admit or accept his feelings. Say that you are sorry and apologize from him.
- Say, “I'm sorry for embarrassing you. Will you forgive me?"
- Your apology will be accepted if you speak in a gentle and sincere tone, and maintain eye contact while talking to the person.
- Apologize only if you really feel guilty. Otherwise, your apology won't sound sincere.
Step 2. Give him space
Sometimes, your best friend needs some space to be alone before they can make peace with you. Don't force him to forgive you right away and hope that things will go back to normal after you apologize. Give him time to forget the problems that exist so that your relationship can run like new again.
If there's a misunderstanding and you didn't actually do anything wrong, distance can help both of you to see the situation more clearly. That way, you can forget about the problem more easily
Step 3. Ask what you can do to improve the situation
Go to him and ask what you can do to improve the situation and save your friendship. Show openness to his suggestions. In addition, reflect a willingness to put in the effort and fulfill his requests.
For example, if you accidentally divulge a secret, your friend may tell you never to do it again. He may also ask you to show your loyalty in order to gain his trust again
Method 3 of 3: Strengthen Friendship
Step 1. Solve the problem that caused the friendship to fall apart
Simply asking for something that can be done to improve the situation is actually only half the solution to the problem. You also need to keep your promises. If you really want to be friends with him, try to make changes in yourself so that similar problems don't happen in the future.
For example, if your friend is angry because you ignored him or canceled your appointment just to spend time with your boyfriend, let him know that nothing like that will happen again. It's a good idea to take a special time or day to spend time with your friend or partner
Step 2. Show how important he is to you
If you've betrayed, hurt, or humiliated him, he may need to re-assure him that you really care about him. Remind him that you still love him and that he is an important person to you. However, don't put yourself down or show it too much because your confession will seem forced or insincere.
- You could say, “We've been friends since 3rd grade. I love you and can't imagine my life without you."
- You can also do something nice for him, like making a card or buying a friendship bracelet.
Step 3. Spend time with him
The best way to strengthen your friendship with him is to spend time together. In the next few days or weeks, prioritize time to have fun and chat with him. That way, you can show your efforts to improve friendships. In addition, spending time with him also confirms that your friendship with him is important.
Step 4. Realize that conflict makes you stronger
Many people avoid conflict with the people they care about because conflict is painful. However, fighting between friends helps you identify things you need to improve or improve on. In addition, making peace also usually helps you remember why you care for each other.
- Conflict is useful for self-development, but remember that friends shouldn't always fight. Beware of friends who always trigger fights or blame you for everything. Quarrels can also be a way to manipulate friends.
- Remember to strike a balance when conflict occurs. Listen to the other person's story or complaints and accept or acknowledge their feelings. That way, you can build a more constructive dialogue. In addition, know when you have to get up and forget the problems that were in the past.
