Making friends isn't always easy and keeping friends is even more difficult if you don't know how to be a friend. Train yourself to meet new people, be considerate, and deal with anxiety. These things will make it easier for you to maintain friendships. Without realizing it, you will become a good friend.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Making Friends
Step 1. Find a peer group
In order to make friends, you must first find friends. Get out of your comfort zone by joining a group that shares your values and position in life, which is usually known as a peer group. Research shows that making friends can prolong life, so meeting new people is not only a good idea but important for your health.
- If you already have children, look for a local moms group. Most communities have more than one parent association, whether it's a mom's vacation or a stroller group. Most of these groups have Facebook pages you can follow.
- If you're into politics, most cities have lobby groups or volunteer centers you can join. When a group of people work together to achieve a common goal, a relationship is established between them.
Step 2. Take a class at the gym
Staying present at every meeting will make you recognized by other classmates. Having a common goal also establishes strong relationships among people in a group.
Look for classes that encourage interaction among members. Activities like yoga and pilates are good for your body, but don't let you socialize much. Look for opportunities to take self-defense, Zumba, or even sewing and cooking classes
Step 3. Start the conversation
Even if you are used to visiting new places, introducing yourself to people is not enough. You have to ask questions. Show interest in other people, and they will be attracted back.
Pay attention to nonverbal cues such as smiles and eye gaze. When someone invites you with a gesture, you can give them a compliment, comment on what happened, or share information
Step 4. Be easy to talk to
Write down a list of light topics that come to your mind. Things like happy childhood memories, weather, and food are topics that most people can talk about.
When starting a conversation with someone you haven't spoken to in a long time, take some time to remember the person before greeting them. If you have a funny memory or a friend in common, use it as a conversation starter
Step 5. Invite an acquaintance for coffee
You can make new friends in person or online, that's right. However, it turns out that maintaining one-to-one contact with people is important, and you can't achieve that by making friends with just your smartphone. When you notice a conversation with someone is turning toward friendship, invite them to do activities outside of your meeting to provide an opportunity for the friendship to develop.
Step 6. Be wise
Wisdom means being careful not to attack or upset others. You don't have to let other people dominate you, but you do have to pay attention to the feelings of the other people you interact with.
Pay attention to their race, gender, sexual orientation, or possible opinions. Don't make jokes or rude comments that attack or demonize your friends, or anyone like them
Part 2 of 3: Keeping Friends
Step 1. Listen carefully
Listening is the key to being a friend. Nobody likes meeting someone who can't stop talking. In fact, the rule is to spend 75% of the time listening and the remaining 25% talking!
- There are several things that prevent you from being a good listener, namely judging others, thinking you know what your friends are going to say, and how you feel about yourself.
- Instead, let the other person be himself without judgment, trust that your friend will have something new to say, and set aside your feelings about the topic. That way, you will be able to listen well.
- If you're a straightforward person, take some time to get to know your friend to see how much of your opinion he or she can accept. Then, ask him to share his point of view and listen carefully.
Step 2. Fix negative traits
Everyone has weaknesses, but some things can get in the way of a meaningful friendship. Try to identify any negative traits you may have and make a real effort to correct them.
- Resist the urge to brag. This behavior is arrogant and most people find it annoying. You will lose friends before you can become a friend. You need to have a balance in making friends so you can celebrate each other's accomplishments instead of competing.
- Refuse gossip. When someone tells you a story, don't share it with anyone else, even if the other person hasn't specifically asked you to keep it a secret. It will build trust, which is important for maintaining friendships.
- Keep the commitment. Canceling plans at the last minute is rude and can disrupt a friend's life. Sometimes it's inevitable, like during an emergency, but you should give as much warning as possible if you want to cancel your plans.
Step 3. Share life experiences
While you shouldn't force your thoughts and feelings on other people, you shouldn't be too introverted either. If you let the other person continue to talk without giving an opinion, you are less likely to remain friends than someone who talks too much.
You don't have to share your deepest and darkest secrets with your friends, especially when you're just starting to make friends and build trust. However, personal anecdotes are what bring people together. Sharing life experiences is the key to a close friendship
Step 4. Maintain a sincere attitude
Insincere people tend to smile too much, talk too loudly, and usually laugh to cover up their anxiety. To be a good friend, you have to get rid of insincerity. You can't maintain a friendship with insincerity because eventually your friend will see the real you, and he or she will most likely feel betrayed.
Step 5. Be nice
This is a basic rule of social life, but if you want to make friends, you have to be a friend. Give small favors, gifts to show concern, and time when friends need even if it bothers you.
Part 3 of 3: Developing Social Skills
Step 1. Increase self-esteem
If you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. The impact will go deeper than that. If you like yourself, you will treat yourself well, which means you will treat others well too.
- Be aware of your own thoughts and beliefs when dealing with situations that make you feel bad. When you come across negative conversations with yourself, criticize them.
- Do things like make hopeful statements, forgive yourself, focus on the positive, and encourage yourself.
Step 2. Be smart
You are less likely to worry when you are with people who understand you. Basically you'll notice when you make a genuine connection with someone. If someone thinks you're weird, they can criticize and increase your anxiety.
Ask yourself questions. Is the person making fun of my uniqueness? Do their faces seem sincere or hypocritical? Will the person laugh with me or laugh at me?
Step 3. Get to know yourself
If you don't know yourself, no one will know you either. Get into the habit of spending some quiet time each day exploring your own mind. This habit will also increase self-esteem. Try doing a writing exercise and see what your opinion says about your values. Some writing exercises that can help include:
- Introspect awesome experience. Imagine a time when you were truly happy. What experience was that? Why do you feel that happy? What did that experience say about you?
- Identify what is upsetting you. What makes you angry? What's bothering you? What specifically upsets you? Write down everything that upsets you, from big to small, and try to find out why it upsets you.
- Think about your strengths. What do people usually compliment you on? What do you think is your specialty?
- Find out what activities or things are important to you. What do you usually do for fun? What things are of value to you?
Step 4. Respond to the communication
While it can sometimes be uncomfortable to talk to new people, part of dealing with anxiety is dealing with the fear. Answer calls, text messages, and emails within a few days, no matter how scary the person seems to you. Without you knowing it, new people won't make you nervous anymore.
Step 5. Let go of unhealthy friendships
If you have friends who are always stressful, don't return the favor, aren't there when you need them, or are very demanding, you may have unhealthy friendships in your life. To be a true friend, you have to show that you understand what friendship means, so you may want to end a one-sided friendship.
- Remember that just because a friend has flaws doesn't mean your friendship with them is unhealthy. Try to weigh a friend's good and bad qualities to determine if the friendship is worth saving.
- For example, if you have a friend who pisses you off because she's always complaining about her boyfriend, but she listens to you when you need to tell her something, you might determine that her willingness to listen is more important than her habit of complaining.
Tips
- When ending a conversation with a friend, shake hands, hug, or say goodbye to him. Politeness will keep your good value in his eyes.
- Sincere compliments are important in good conversation.
- Even if you have a lot of friends online, making time for people in real life is a great way to have meaningful friendships. You can talk more easily and read gestures when you meet in person, so your relationship with these people will deepen.
- Keep a friend's secret unless it's damaging or physically harmful.
