Many people have experienced a breakup with someone important to them, but breaking up with a friend can be even more difficult. You know that you can't solve a problem when you fight or you no longer have anything in common, it's time to put a stop to this. You can let the friendship fade naturally, confront your friend, or settle it head-on. Whatever happens, it helps you prepare for the feelings you'll feel when your relationship really ends.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with the person
Step 1. Arrange a time and place to meet
When Ada doesn't want to let the person guess why you don't want to be friends with her, a direct conversation might be useful. Parks and coffee shops are great places to disconnect because they are neutral, public places. While things can get emotional during your conversation, you'll both be holding yourself back in public.
- Avoid meals that take a long time, as you may want to leave before the food is served.
- If you don't want to meet in person, you can also cut off your friendship over the phone. Avoid using short messages, because you will find it difficult to express the real you and have a real conversation.
- Don't cut ties with your friends in front of people you know. This will make things embarrassing and very hurtful.
Step 2. Tell your friend why you want to break up
Be honest about why you don't want to be friends. Is your friend cheating on you with your boyfriend? Is he constantly letting you down? Whatever the reason, it's time to reveal it. Telling your friend what you actually did is a brave thing, and in the end the person will probably be happy to find out what happened.
However, there are conditions where being honest is not the best way to end a friendship. If you don't like it anymore, even if he's innocent, there's no longer any reason for you to open up about it. If this is the case, then go back to method 1 and let your friendship fade naturally
Step 3. Give your friend a chance to talk
Your friend may defend themselves, apologize or do both after you confronted them
Step 4. Establish Boundaries
Set boundaries. Maybe you want to solve the problem once and for all in person, or maybe you can just meet the person as well as in a group meeting. Whatever the case, understand that this is a point of separation, from now on things will be different. Set your boundaries so you don't sway back down.
- If you don't want to talk anymore, tell the person you won't be in touch with him after this and you don't want to hear about him anymore.
- If you feel it's okay to be friends in a group but you don't want to talk privately, it's fine to say so. You can also let us know that you may renew your friendship at a later date, if you wish. Otherwise it will try to contact you when you want to be alone. Be as clear as possible about your expectations so your friend won't get confused.
Step 5. Stick to your limits
If the person tries to call you back or wants to make up with you, don't respond. You've spoken your mind, and you've also listened to your friend, and now your obligation as a friend is over. Just like when you break up with someone who means a lot to you, breaking up with a friend means you don't have to be responsible for them anymore.
This is easier said than done. If your ex-friend is very sad, you may find it difficult to ignore calls or messages from them. If you are serious about breaking the friendship, don't let the person cross your boundaries. You will give him the wrong impression and make things more difficult in the future
Method 2 of 3: Let Your Friends Fade Naturally
Step 1. If you are getting separated from your friend, don't fight about it
The natural fading method is the best solution for a situation where you and your friend part easily. There's probably no real reason you don't like the person anymore; you're just interested in other things and people. Start spending your time the way you want, hanging out with the people you want and doing activities you enjoy. Chances are, among other things, your friend will do the same, and the relationship will start to drift apart without making the problem worse.
Step 2. Stop calling and message your friends
To break your friendship, you have to slow down communication. Stop calling your friends to make plans or to chat. Do not start an online chat, chat by text message or in any form. You can still chat with him when you meet him in person, as if you were with the same group of friends, but avoid unnecessary contact.
- When two friends are ready to separate, it is not difficult to reduce the relationship. You two may be working on other things, whatever it is you won't feel like sacrificing much to talk more
- You'll have to decide whether you still want to end it either way. On the other hand, if your friend doesn't agree with you about friendship, cutting back on the relationship may hurt her feelings. However, it is difficult to avoid the hurt when ending a friendship.
Step 3. Keep the conversation light
Friends become more intimate with deep, open-minded conversations when they get to know each other well. To keep a friend at a distance, don't talk heart to heart. When you do talk, stick to shallow, surface topics, as you would with an acquaintance. If you continue to talk like a friend, your friendship will have a harder time fading.
- If your friend wants to talk about a personal matter, such as her relationship with her boyfriend, talk in a safer place. Change the topic so he doesn't have a chance to share his deepest feelings with you.
- Eventually your friends will realize that you're not talking like you used to. He might call you or decide to back out too. Prepare yourself for another reaction.
Step 4. Politely decline the invitation
It may take your friend some time to come to terms with the fact that you no longer want to be friends with them. A surefire way to keep your distance is to politely decline her invitation, but earnestly. If his invitation is for a group activity, you may want to come along, but avoid traveling alone. You will only confuse the person.
Then, if the person isn't ready to end it, refusing his invitation will hurt your friend. It's up to you to decide right away why you're refusing every time he asks you to do something
Step 5. Find excuses if necessary
If you really don't want to tell the person the truth, avoid the invitation with excuses. Tell them that you are busy, that a relative is coming, that you have a lot of work to do, and so on. This can be done in an easy way, since it is not an honest way to behave towards a friend who is your friend. However, if you have a good reason to end your friendship and don't want to face confrontation, making excuses is quite effective.
Step 6. Gradually let your friendship end
The best scene is, the person understands that you have moved on from your friendship and decided to go your own way. However, if your old friend asks what happened, you may have to give him an explanation. Be prepared for this reaction, as it may signal that you mean more to your friend than your friend means to you.
Step 7. Consider the silent treatment of an abusive friendship
If the person you're trying to break up with has been physically or emotionally abusive or manipulative, you don't owe that person any more; even be polite. Just cut off all ties, don't befriend the person on your social media accounts, and avoid meeting the person unnecessarily.
If you try to talk to the person about it, the person may end up making you the one to blame. Don't be fooled by the drama. If you know the person is going to make things difficult for you, then just break up with that person
Method 3 of 3: Handle the Consequences
Step 1. Deal with your old friend's feelings. Leaving isn't easy, depending on whether you deserve it
Prepare yourself that your friend will cry, beg you to be friends again, or may be very angry. You are strong enough to break the relationship, you are also strong enough to face the consequences. Don't let yourself be influenced by the person's feelings. Remember to stick to your boundaries and cut off all ties if necessary.
Step 2. Beware of passive-aggressive behavior. Sometimes your old friends will try to complicate your life in small, passive-aggressive ways
Especially if you go to school or work in the same place and have to meet with that person often. The person may turn to you, spread rumors about you, or make you look bad. Stay strong and realize that if someone is so terrible, then your decision to end this friendship is the right choice.
- If the behavior changes from passive-aggressive to aggressive, then you may need to take further action. Tell your teacher or your supervisor if it happens at work or at school. See if you can provide evidence that you have been targeted.
- You may have legal options as well. If the person won't leave you alone and his or her behavior constitutes harassment, you may want to file a restraining order.
Step 3. Realize that this may affect your friendship
Breaking up with a friend will affect the people you know. If you and your friends are part of a large group of friends, this may become awkward for a while. Hopefully your other friends don't side with your friends, if they really are, then you know who your real friends are.
Step 4. Take care of yourself
You may feel a sense of freedom after breaking up with a bad friend. However, breaking up is usually difficult. It is very difficult for us to let someone down emotionally, and the consequences can last longer than we think. Once your friendship is officially over, spend time with people who make you happy. Put yourself in the company of people you care about and try not to think about your former friendships.
You may feel sad that you have lost the best part of a friendship with your friend. Overall, you're friends for a reason, even if your friendship goes bad. Sadness is normal in this situation
Tips
- Don't feel guilty if your friend isn't a good friend. It's not your fault.
- You may feel guilty, but if you know that your decision was the right one, have faith in your decision.
- Remember all relationships are voluntary situations. You are not required to continue “any” relationship.
- Stick to your word to avoid confusion.
- When you tell the other person how you feel, you will feel hurt after breaking up, but do what makes you happy. In the end, you will make new friends.
- Be careful in breaking up your relationship. It may make it difficult for you to start a friendship again, so you must make sure that breaking up is the path you want.
- Your mutual friend may feel the need to side with you, so be prepared to talk about your feelings or the possibility of losing another friend.
- Ask your family or other friends what they think, especially people who may know your friend and may be able to offer a different point of view on the situation. They may be able to provide personal assistance to you.
- Send Send a letter or an e-mail if you don't feel comfortable having a face-to-face conversation.
- If you don't feel comfortable having a confrontation with your own friend, consult a school counselor or a peer mediator who can be a neutral third party to help you in the conversation.
If your reason is just a trivial reason, like wanting to be famous don't do it, don't be selfish.
