It's no wonder older sisters can be so annoying. He has a personal mission to tease or prank his sister. You don't need to follow the game. Even if you are tempted to seek revenge, try to work things out with him.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Conflict
Step 1. Try to solve the problem you have with it
Even if you have set strict boundaries, everyone may sometimes want to test the limits of their patience. When this happens, try to resolve the conflict before either of you reaches the limit of your patience.
- Explain the problem to him using sentences that begin with the word "I". For example, “I feel belittled when you talk to me like a child” or “I feel angry when you don't respect my clothing choices.”
- Avoid the word "but". The word twists whatever you said earlier. For example, instead of saying "I know you're experienced, but I think you're wrong", try saying "We can't agree on this."
Step 2. Find a compromise
If you can't solve the problem, try a compromise. Change one thing in your behavior and ask him to do the same. Over time, this kind of willingness will have a big impact on your relationship.
For example, you could promise to knock on the door every time he wants to enter his room, and he should greet you when he sees you at school
Step 3. Move away from the situation if necessary
When conflict escalates, stay away from the situation. This is a great way to control your anger. Stay away from your brother and calm down. When both of you feel calmer, try talking to him again.
Step 4. Involve your parents
If you can't resolve the issue on your own, ask your parents to intervene. After you and your sister have shared the situation from each other's point of view, let your parents help you both come to an agreement.
Take responsibility for your role in the problem at hand. This shows your parents that you can be mature
Method 2 of 3: Changing Your Behavior
Step 1. Observe your own behavior
Before tackling your brother's annoying behavior and rude remarks, take some time to think about your own actions. Admit it or not, you are not completely free from faults. Your brother may start an argument, but your response prolongs the problem. Just think about these questions:
- Did you do or say something that provoked his anger?
- Are you showing your anger?
- Were your actions and words intentional or unintentional?
Step 2. Take control of your reactions
Even if you are tempted to seek revenge, the decision usually makes things worse. Rather than return the insult, end the matter with a sincere response. If he's still bothering you, get up and walk away from physical violence.
- Don't let his words affect you. For example, you could say "That's really funny, Mega. I just forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me again.”
- Be proud to be the best choice. This attitude will keep you out of trouble.
Step 3. Be honest with your brother
When he hurts your feelings, don't show your anger. Instead, let him know that his actions hurt your feelings. This is a great way to start a serious conversation with him about your relationship.
For example, you could say, “Mega, please don't make fun of me in front of my friends. I feel offended and embarrassed.”
Step 4. Take control of your interactions
Despite his efforts, sometimes the two brothers just can't get along with each other. If this situation happens to you and your sister, limit the time you spend with them. In addition to reducing your fights with him, the distance will make you both appreciate each other's presence more.
- Spend your free time in another room of the house.
- If you share the same bathroom, put your things in your bag and take a shower or prepare yourself in another bathroom (or room).
- If you share the same bed, ask your parents if you can sleep in another room.
Method 3 of 3: Setting Ground Rules and Limits
Step 1. Know your personal boundaries
Think about the conflicts you've had with your brother. Identify the source of the problem and think about what can be done to avoid the conflict. Try to remember a time when he tested the limits of your consciousness and what you could actually do to keep the problem from escalating. Information or things like this can help you identify your personal boundaries-the bottom and the end of your tolerance for them.
- Instead of manipulating you into doing something, you can tell him to ask you for help directly.
- For example, when he starts scolding you, will you stay away from him? Or, when he bullied you, would you report it to your parents?
Step 2. Explain your personal boundaries to him
If you feel comfortable talking to him, it's a good idea to explain your boundaries to him. Make sure he understands that you are setting these boundaries because you want to have a healthy relationship with him. After defining your boundaries, ask him if he can or will respect them.
For example, you could say, "Linda, I want to set some boundaries with you. I won't tolerate your bullying anymore. If you do, I'll tell mom, dad, or someone else right away."
Step 3. Respect the boundaries
Just like you, your brother also has limits. Ask if there is anything you can or need to do to avoid future conflicts. Remember that if you want him to respect your boundaries, you have to be willing to respect them too.
For example, you could say, "Linda, do you have any limits on our relationship?"
Tips
- Don't try to provoke or provoke his anger.
- If he is verbally, emotionally, or physically abused, immediately report the behavior to an adult.
