Your neighbor's pet dog barks in the middle of the night, the music he plays is so loud it makes your bedroom windows vibrate, and for some reason, his trash is always in your yard. If these things happen frequently, it's a good idea to find effective, but not aggressive, ways to deal with neighbors who behave badly. Start by politely asking him to pay more attention to his actions. If a kind and courteous approach still doesn't yield any results, you may need to take more serious action, such as reporting to the authorities or suing them. Read the guide below to learn how to deal with a bad-behaved neighbor.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Solving Specific Problems
Step 1. Tell your neighbors what really happened
It's obvious that you feel uncomfortable with what your neighbors are doing, but if you don't tell your neighbors, there's a good chance they won't realize they're bothering you. While you stay at home, holding back the anger that starts to flare up, they will continue to go about their daily activities without knowing that you are actually feeling angry. Don't immediately assume that they're being rude on purpose. Try to go to his house, introduce yourself, and tell him what the problem is.
- Ask politely, but firmly. Be clear about how you feel, rather than just rambling on and making them wonder what's really going on. It's unfair if you want them to be able to read your mind and know the limits of your patience, so it's up to you to tell them yourself.
- Try to be open to decisions that both parties can agree on. You may be happy that your neighbor's children no longer have to make noise while practicing a musical instrument, but it's certainly not an easy thing for them to build or renovate their room into a soundproof room. Use complaints that allow them to be more sympathetic to you, such as letting them know that their noise kept you from sleeping all night. You will be more successful if you approach the problem by explaining the problem and offering possible solutions, rather than demanding them.
Step 2. Communicate in writing ONLY if the situation is urgent
If you can't meet your neighbors, try leaving a message or emailing them to make your point. However, this method is a bit risky because there is a possibility that the note will be misinterpreted and perceived as a passive-aggressive message. Sometimes if you can't meet your neighbor in person, a written message can be the best option to get your point across. However, most people will feel a little embarrassed by such a message and, usually, will quickly change their attitude to suit yours.
- Make sure you write the message in a friendly tone. Let your neighbors know that you are willing to find a solution that is fair to all parties.
- If you want, you can also include your phone number in the message and ask your neighbors to call you. This way, if your neighbors have some questions, they can ask you right away.
Step 3. Determine the issues that need to be prioritized
Don't immediately attack your neighbors with a series of problems to solve, because then yours won't be solved right away. Determine what things you can tolerate and what things really need to be changed, then explain to your neighbors the problems that need to be changed. Once the main problems are solved, you can start working on smaller problems later, or learn to accept them as your neighbors.
Keep in mind that the things that annoy you the most are not always the easiest things for them to change. If they explain that the problem is difficult for them to change, try asking them to change things that are smaller and easier for them to solve
Step 4. Offer to help
Depending on your request, they will be more receptive to your complaint if you offer to help them resolve the issue. For example, when you want your yard to be clean and tidy, but during the dry season you see your neighbor's garbage littering your yard, try offering to help clean and tidy up his yard, so that their garbage no longer pollutes your yard..
- Even for problems that you can't solve yourself, still offer to help so that your neighbors are willing and willing to take the time to fulfill your wishes. For example, if your neighbors can't fix their car exhaust because they use their car all day, offer them a ride to work, or help (like buying something) for them while the car is fixed.
- Do not offer financial assistance or hire someone for your neighbor. Many people are offended by such assistance because, they think, you are giving the impression that they are not capable of solving their own problems.
Step 5. Keep up with the progress
Give your neighbors time to sort out their problems, maybe a few days for minor issues, or longer for time-consuming issues like improving the appearance of their home. If they still haven't made any progress, come back and politely remind them. If they show progress, show your gratitude and, if possible, bring a gift or snack. That way, they will feel happy because they have solved the problem.
- If one day the problem reappears, think for a moment about the appropriate response to the problem. If your neighbor is still playing loud music at night, you can come back to complain. However, if your neighbor has shown good progress (no longer playing loud music) and one day throws a birthday party, it's a good idea to give in. After all, birthday parties are held only once a year.
- Keep in touch with your neighbors, even if you're just saying hello or waving. If you only show up and interact with your neighbors when there's a problem, your neighbors won't even want to listen to your complaints.
Step 6. Ask other neighbors for help
This is a great move if your annoying neighbor is still not showing any changes. If your neighbor is causing trouble that bothers you, chances are that your other neighbors will be bothered too. Talk to your other neighbors to find out if they would like to sign a reprimand that will be given to the troubled neighbor. There is a power in itself when you solve problems together. Sometimes, troubled neighbors do need some people (not just you) to deal with in order for them to change.
By cooperating with other neighbors, it does not mean that you and your other neighbors have to just invade the troubled neighbor's house or apartment. This can actually have dire consequences and make the neighbor feel threatened. In fact, group emails sent to these neighbors can be interpreted as a hostile message of 'us versus them.'
Part 2 of 3: Fixing Relationships with Troubled Neighbors
Step 1. Be kind as a neighbor
Before you complain about something about other people, make sure you don't do anything that disturbs the environment yourself. You certainly don't want to make the problem worse by being hypocritical or insensitive to the situation, especially if you and your neighbor already have a bad relationship.
Make sure you don't show favoritism to your neighbors. If you forbid your neighbors to play music at 3 a.m., your best friend who lives next door can't do the same
Step 2. Tell in advance about the event you will be holding at your home
Always let your neighbors know if you're holding an event late into the night, so you can't clean up your neighborhood, or prevent things that might irritate your neighbors. Try to talk to your neighbors about an event you're having and give them your phone number in case something goes wrong and your neighbor needs to call you. By talking about this, what was previously considered intolerable will become something that is not a problem for your neighbors.
Step 3. Don't be prejudiced against your neighbors
Like everyone, your neighbors also have problems in their lives, even if those problems aren't obvious to you. Your neighbor may have a hard time taking the time to know and take care of other people's problems. Don't let you fall into the same hole!
Step 4. Get to know your neighbors well
Do you not know your neighbor, or do you and your neighbor know each other? Anyone would find it difficult to deal with someone they had never met before, and hatred would easily arise when the neighbors didn't want to know each other. The best way to get what you want-a quiet weekend, for example-is to connect with your neighbors so that you and your neighbors can understand each other better and show understanding. You don't have to be best friends, but at least getting to know each other is a good first step to establishing harmony between neighbors.
- Why don't you try inviting them over for a meal together? Ask them to come over to your house while you're hosting a cooking show in the yard, or invite them to a pancake party on Saturday morning. Try to get to know each other well before you say what you want from them.
- If you don't feel comfortable inviting your neighbors over to your house, you can come over to their house with tea or homemade cookies and introduce yourself.
Step 5. Improve the quality of your living environment
If you really want to improve your relationship with your neighbors, start by growing crops on vacant lots, petitioning the local government about road safety issues, or organizing garbage collection on the block. Invite all your neighbors and give them a chance to get involved in your project.
Part 3 of 3: Taking Action More Seriously
Step 1. Use this step as a last resort only
It's possible that more serious measures could take a long time to work, and could make your relationship with your neighbors worse. These actions are only suitable for neighbors who have been unfriendly to you for a long time, or have exhibited ongoing patterns of bad behavior, unwillingness to change, and behavior that is really hurting you. You'll live next door to your neighbors, so it's a good idea to think carefully about the steps to take before your disagreements with your neighbors turn into hostility.
Step 2. Write down the problems you have if your neighbors have violated the law or rental regulations (for apartments)
If you're trying to resolve your issue in a friendly manner but your neighbors aren't responding, it's time to take more serious action. Start by documenting the problem so you can provide evidence if you end up having to report it to the authorities. Take photos of damaged items, record parties your neighbors have late into the night, save emails and notes you send, and so on. In essence, gather evidence that your neighbor has caused trouble or done something illegal.
You may be able to tell your neighbors about your efforts. If your neighbors know that you are making an effort to solve the problem at hand, they will probably stop causing trouble right away
Step 3. Report the building owner or the head of the neighborhood association (RT)
If you live in an apartment, report your complaint to the owner or building management. Call and explain your problem. If you live in a residential area, report it to the local RT head. Depending on the type of violation committed, the apartment manager can take action, ranging from ordinary warnings to evictions. In addition, the building manager or the head of the RT must continue to discuss your complaint with the troubled neighbor so that you do not have to continue to complain.
Use your assessment of this issue based on previous interactions you had with the apartment manager or RT head. Sometimes there are managers or RT heads who don't like it when they have to take care of and participate in resolving disputes between tenants or residents, and may feel annoyed if they are asked to come
Step 4. Find out if your neighbor is breaking the law
If your neighbor remains unchanged, find out if you can take legal action against him. Get to know the laws and regulations that apply in the area where you live and find out if your neighbor violates one (or more) of the applicable laws? If they are found to be breaking the law, you can report them to the authorities. Here are some forms of legal violations that can occur:
- Entering someone else's land or house without permission
- Damaging other people's property or property
- Disturbing the tranquility of the environment
- Let pets keep barking
- Not taking care of property or belongings in the neighborhood
Step 5. Call the police or other authorities
This step and the following steps are the last steps you can take, ONLY if all the steps described previously didn't work. Your relationship with your neighbors may never be repaired if you take this step. Asking the police to take immediate action can be one way to shock your neighbors and eventually change. However, do not use the authorities as a mediator in your enmity with your neighbors.
- If the problem is related to playing loud music at night, contact the police station for non-emergency matters.
- You can also call the security complex instead of having to call the police.
- For problems related to yards that are not maintained, contact the homeowners' association (if possible) or the public service officer who manages or regulates the tranquility and cleanliness of the city (for example, the cleaning and landscaping office). Almost all cities have a janitorial and gardening service, or security officer, who is responsible for keeping the city clean and orderly.
Step 6. Notify the troubled neighbor that you will be taking legal action
If you are sure that your neighbor is breaking the law and you have collected evidence, tell your neighbor that you will be taking legal action. You don't have to go into details, but simply say that you will take further and stricter action on his behavior unless you and your neighbor can come to a mutual agreement. They certainly don't want anything to do with the police or the authorities, so a threat like this might be enough to get them to change.
Step 7. Consult your legal options with a lawyer
If you are willing to pay some money, contact a lawyer and find out what you can do. You will have to decide whether paying the money to fix this problem is worth the annoyance and inconvenience of living next door to your neighbour. If you really want this matter to be legally resolved, contact a lawyer and file a lawsuit against your neighbor.
If you have no other choice, you may be able to consult with the apartment manager or the head of the RT to ask your neighbors to move to another place without having to involve the authorities. If you've warned your neighbors about the situation and they still don't want to do anything about it, that will obviously make their position worse. A bad position can put them in a corner, especially if you've already involved a lawyer, so they'll eventually let you use the legal process. However, it's a good idea to try to find a mutual agreement with your neighbors rather than having to go through the court process and pay court fees which can be unpleasant for you
Tips
- Find out about applicable local laws or regulations on your city's website, or visit your local government office in person. Sometimes, local regulations are listed on the official local website. By knowing these regulations, you can ask the local police to enforce laws regarding blocked sidewalks, pet droppings, etc.
- Don't be afraid to contact the authorities. Your complaint will not be taken lightly if the problem is bothering almost all the neighbors who live in your neighborhood.
- Build a fence. If the problem that arises involves your neighbor's pets, building a fence can be a great way to prevent the problem from reoccurring. If their yard makes you feel uncomfortable, build a non-transparent fence about 1.2 meters high.
Warning
- Stay within your home territory, as entering someone else's land without permission will only create more problems. You can walk onto someone's terrace, but it's illegal to walk around in their yard without permission.
- The most important thing you should never do is threaten your neighbors. Threats will only make matters worse, so it's a good idea to keep your word.
