Feeling unloved? It feels bad and empty to think that no one loves you in this life. However, you may not know how much you really are loved because of a miscommunication or misunderstanding. Often we feel unloved because we deprive ourselves of the ability to feel loved. You can open yourself up to those feelings again and encourage your loved ones to open their hearts; get started with Step 1 below!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Loving Yourself
Step 1. Build your self-esteem
Often times, people can love us with all their heart and we still feel unloved. Usually, this is because we have a hard time believing that someone can love us because we can't love ourselves. If you feel unloved by others, the best place to start is to learn to love yourself first. Build your opinion of yourself by welcoming the positive and accepting your negative. Stop sticking to the ideal of perfection and realize that you are okay with being who you are.
Step 2. Build your confidence
Self-confidence is a very attractive quality of a person. When people see that you think you can take on the world and conquer it, they'll believe it too (and they love it!). Build your confidence by taking on challenges in life, speaking up, and doing things that make you proud to be who you are.
Step 3. Get help when you need it
Sometimes, our brain can get sick. The brain is not working properly and needs a little help to feel better. If you think that your problem may be too big to handle, please seek help. Like taking medicine for a cold, it's important to take care of your body with the help of a professional doctor. We here at wikiHow love each and every one of you and we want you to be happy. Do what you have to do to make it happen!
Part 2 of 3: Evaluating Love
Step 1. Understand what love is
Make sure you know what love really is. Sometimes, the most terrible people in our lives will convince us that love is different from what it really is. Don't let them confuse you; love should not hurt, love should not be one-sided, and love should be unconditional.
Step 2. Watch how they act
Pay attention to how your loved ones act. Did they say bad words to you? Did they hurt you physically? Do they ignore you when you express how you feel? Those are all bad signs. But if they don't say love but prove it by always being there for you, trying not to hurt you, and never giving you reason to think they look down on you, chances are they love you but aren't good at showing it.
Step 3. Watch your actions
Are you the one who is always trying hard in a friendship or relationship? Do you do more for them than they do for you? Do you shower them with kindness and you just get an empty thank you and no reciprocation? These are all bad signs. But if you get as much as you do, then all is well.
Step 4. Leave heavy weights behind
If someone hurts you (physically or emotionally), or even if they don't do more than they deserve, don't keep them in your life. You don't need that. Leave them behind and return to the outside world. Find friends and happy relationships because you deserve them!
Part 3 of 3: Finding Love
Step 1. Be open with your feelings
It's hard, but it's the best way to stop feeling unloved. Tell the loved ones in your life how you feel. Say that you have a problem. And when they say they love you, believe their word. Give them a chance to show it. Stop rejecting them or doubting their feelings. They may really love you.
Step 2. Open yourself up to new love
You may not feel loved if you have very specific ideas about what love is or where it comes from. Take another look at how you define love and consider redefining it. Love doesn't have to come from a romantic relationship, and it doesn't have to involve expensive gifts, birthday cards, or fulfilling a list of quality requirements.
Step 3. Volunteer work
A great way to make yourself feel loved is to give to society. Volunteering in your area, anywhere from shelters to soup kitchens, can be of great help to you and the community. People will appreciate everything you do to help them and you will find the love you are looking for while at the same time making a very positive influence.
You can also find specialized organizations to help children who also need to feel loved
Step 4. Get a pet
A dog or cat is a great way to feel loved. Pets love us and are very dependent on us. You can make an amazing impact on an animal by rescuing or even volunteering in a nursing home. This is a really great thing to do especially if your area doesn't have an animal shelter.
Step 5. Find people like you
Finding the same community of people as you is a great way to feel loved. The internet makes everything easier than it used to be. Fan communities are an easy way to start making friends online. You can also make friends in the real world. Try taking a course in a subject of your interest from a local community center.
Step 6. Join a church
Another option to help yourself feel loved is to join or become more involved in a church or other religious group. Find a community that shares the same values as yours and start participating regularly. You can even join study groups to help develop closer relationships with fellow members.
Step 7. Date new people
If you really feel that a romantic relationship is best for you, you can try dating someone new when you're ready (emotionally) to be with someone. But remember: you shouldn't enter a relationship expecting that person to make all your problems go away or thinking that you can't be happy unless you're in a relationship. That's not a healthy idea. But if you are ready to experience the ups and downs of living with someone, you can find a lover.
Tips
- Remember the birthdays of everyone you care about, and send them a gift or at least an e-card on their birthday.
- Always express appreciation when someone does something nice for you.
- When you complain about something related to a loved one, make sure he or she knows that you are not blaming him or her.
- Smile and display wise and accepting body language with open arms.
