Work and family are the two main things in our lives. Finding a balance between the complex roles of work and family life can be stressful for many people, especially because of the overlapping roles and mixed interests. Role stacking occurs when responsibilities for certain roles make it difficult for you to carry out other roles in your daily life. Mixed interests occur when conditions and relationships in certain aspects of life affect other aspects of your daily life. Finding a balance between work and home life isn't always easy, but the effort you put in now can bring you worth of happiness in the future.
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Part 1 of 5: Determining Your Values
Step 1. Determine what are the main values for you and your family
Virtue values are principles, standards, or qualities that are considered worthy or desirable in living daily life as guidelines for behavior and shaping our lives.
- Aspects of life that require the application of good virtue values, for example when doing household tasks, preparing food, eating together, taking care of children, doing car and house maintenance, establishing relationships with partners, interacting with parents and children, in this aspect education, finance, politics, religion, etc.
- Determining the value of specific virtues is the most important thing in meeting the demands of work and family. It shows what you should prioritize in life and what you consider important. Often times, we don't understand or question the value of this virtue until a problem occurs.
Step 2. Think carefully and deeply
Many of us already know the value of each other's virtues, but usually it's still not very clear. Many virtues are embedded in the subconscious. These values (which we hold on to unconsciously) are often stressful. We can recognize and overcome this stress disorder if our lives are in harmony with our core values.
Step 3. Try to figure out the conflicting values
For example, what if you believe that everyone should get to work early and you also believe that the kitchen should be clean before leaving the house? How do you apply these two conflicting virtues? Conflicts like this can trigger stress, make you run out of energy, and always feel dissatisfied. This condition can be overcome by confirming the values you hold so far and understanding how they interact.
You can work around the problem of overlapping roles and conflicts by adjusting and specifying the values that you should prioritize. For example, do you think coming to work early is more important than leaving the house clean? Decide which one you think is more important and then start from here
Part 2 of 5: Setting Goals and Targets
Step 1. Define goals
In everyday life, goals are very important and can help us determine how to use our time.
Goals can be statements, such as “I want to have my own business by the age of 40.” or “I want to graduate from college first, then get married.” Instilled values will influence us in setting goals and provide the encouragement we need to achieve them. The values that underlie these two goals are closely related to initiative, success, and education
Step 2. Distinguish between concrete and abstract goals
There are concrete and specific goals like the two examples above. However, there are also abstract goals that are interconnected and capable of reflecting your well-being and presence in life. For example, maybe you want to build supportive relationships with friends, raise healthy and responsible children, or deepen your own spiritual understanding.
Step 3. Determine the rating of the destination
To deal with overlapping roles, we can choose some important goals we want to achieve, cancel others, or change them as needed. When ranking goals, think carefully about what you want most in your life.
Step 4. Consider social and individual aspects of expectations, perceptions and attitudes
Everyone has an idea of how "should" do things and behave in certain situations. Often, these expectations, perceptions, and attitudes are formed from a combination of individual values and generally accepted social norms.
Knowing what "should" be in everyday life may be more difficult than figuring out our own goals because this is usually embedded in the subconscious. However, holding on to attitudes and expectations that don't align with your current needs can lead to conflict and stress. Many people have high expectations about “having it all”, being greater than others, and being “the best” in every aspect of life. However, when we try to achieve these unrealistic expectations, we often feel tired, bored, and disappointed with our lives. To prevent this, take the time to reflect on your attitudes and expectations and then readjust anything that goes against your will
Step 5. Be flexible and be prepared to adapt
Forgive yourself in case of mistakes and failures. In addition, be prepared for unexpected things that demand your attention so that you have to change goals. Talk about what you want with your partner, lover, co-worker, or boss.
Be open to accepting change. Don't get carried away in comfort because once things feel settled, everything can change in an instant
Part 3 of 5: Managing Time and Prioritizing
Step 1. Set priorities
Setting priorities is very important in carrying out effective time management. Switching roles at work and at home while trying to make time with friends, family, and yourself is not easy. You may be able to use your time efficiently, but not necessarily effectively. In other words, we may have done a certain activity well, but not necessarily we are doing a good activity. Often times, the plans and schedules of activities that we make do not help us achieve our goals, especially those that are not concrete. Work on prioritizing goals by determining which ones are most important in the short, medium, and long term.
After determining the goals that you consider most important, prioritize achieving them first. Don't get distracted by other goals, but try to focus on the goals that require the most attention
Step 2. Compare the goals and the time available
Ask yourself what you need to do in a certain time period to achieve your goal.
Look for comparative information about your goal. Try to find out when you can say that your goal has been achieved
Step 3. Define boundaries and recognize your limitations
Determine how much time and discretion you can give to stay connected and in control of your emotions. Boundaries serve as a determinant to how much responsibility, authority, and authority you have, and tell others what you want to do and get.
- Dare to say "no". Know that you have the prerogative to say "no" if forced to accept more responsibility. This is an excellent way to balance work and family life. For example, if your boss asks you to work overtime, while you have promised to come to your child's event at school, say that you have an appointment while providing a proposed solution so that you can keep your commitments.
- Set a time limit for yourself. Organize your daily activities by making a schedule while figuring out how much time you can and are willing to spend on certain tasks.
Part 4 of 5: Planning and Communicating Well
Step 1. Get used to organize daily activities well
Schedule a daily routine and plan each day, instead of just responding to what you're about to face. Make a plan so you can anticipate what you need.
- You need to have a backup plan in case of an emergency so that you are ready if needed.
- Build a reliable support network. Connect with friends, relatives, neighbors, co-workers and professionals. Ask for their help if needed.
Step 2. Define rest periods in your daily schedule
Make time for other activities outside of work so that your life is balanced, enjoyable, and fulfilling.
Implement healthy living habits, for example by eating healthy foods, exercising, meditating, and practicing calming yourself in other ways. Some gyms offer discounted corporate membership fees for training during your lunch break
Step 3. Schedule time for events with family and friends
Once you get used to setting the time for meetings at work, use the same method at home. Determine a schedule for gathering with family so that you are difficult to cancel suddenly and there is a definite time. Treat family members the same way you would treat your most important business relationship and don't forget the “meeting you've scheduled” with them.
- Get used to eating with family. Research has proven that eating together as a family brings spiritual, mental, and physical benefits to the whole family. Children in families who eat together are less likely to abuse drugs, experience pregnancy in their teens, and become depressed. In addition, they get high marks and are more confident. When eating together, family members can connect and interact so that it becomes a fun activity for children and their parents too.
- Make time for the big and small moments in life. Take time to celebrate important goals, successes, graduations, birthdays, and family holidays. Even if it's just a gift to celebrate a small success (such as your child winning a game) or a special gathering, each member of the family feels special and valued.
Step 4. Make time for the family in the evening
- Do regular activities with your partner and/or the whole family. This activity is not a special event or takes a long time, but as a means so that you can gather with your family, for example praying together, taking turns watering the garden, traveling or walking together, etc. As long as you can feel more relaxed and listen, you're already giving them the attention they need.
- Enjoy regular bedtime activities if there are small children at home, such as bathing, reading books, and putting them to sleep. These moments of togetherness show that you care and are always there for him.
- Take the time in the evening to ask about your partner's activities. Think of this activity as a discussion session by asking each other daily activities, giving advice or suggestions, or just listening. Knowing daily activities is very important in maintaining a healthy and mutually beneficial love relationship through body language and pleasant talk.
Step 5. Eliminate wasted time
We waste a lot of time watching TV, using the internet, playing video games, etc. Eliminate distractions that don't add value or improve your life.
Set specific times, for example, to look up information on websites, watch TV, and play video games. Choose and determine the activities you will do and for how long. For example, if every Thursday night you want to watch your favorite TV show for an hour, set aside time for this activity, but do something else first, don't just keep watching TV while you wait. Make watching TV a scheduled activity, not just to fill free time. When in doubt, ask yourself “what is most important in your life?” Recalling and reflecting on the value of virtue is the best way to avoid wasting time and filling it with more important things
Step 6. Discuss your workload with family and friends
Ask their views on the balance between your family and work life. Having open lines of communication can prevent disappointment in the hearts of those affected by your actions.
Explain to family members and friends why you sometimes can't do what they expect of you (such as not being able to come to school because you have to finish work). Openness in explaining the real situation makes others understand and empathize with the situation you are facing
Part 5 of 5: Letting Go
Step 1. Know what it means to be in control
Often, we feel more in control if we do everything alone. However, this method can hinder the achievement of goals because we are not all human beings!
Step 2. Delegate or divide work so that you can meet your priority needs and wants
While many people refuse to share tasks at home and at work for fear of losing control, we always benefit from delegating work. We will work shorter hours and be able to complete important tasks that have not been done better. Delegating is not an easy job because we have to trust other people to do something we think is important. However, this is the key to determining the balance between family life and work.
For example, ask the maid at home to start preparing dinner or to clean up just before you leave work so that you can still do the household chores that are your responsibility
Step 3. Make a compromise
Look for ways to simplify your life as much as possible to create certain conditions.
- For example, if you are too busy to shop for groceries every week, try shopping online. All you have to do is select the item and it will be delivered to your home. The additional shipping costs may be worth the time you can save.
- Find a manager, organization or business that can help you save time, such as a laundry service that can pick up and drop off your laundry or a milk delivery service.
Step 4. Let go of guilt
Do not continue to be burdened by guilt because of daily activities. Many people feel guilty about having to work and not stay at home, and vice versa. This feeling is completely useless.
Accept that having it all or being able to do it all is just a myth. Realize that the most important thing is that you are doing your best according to your situation and limitations. Instead of continuing to feel guilty, refocus your energy on doing the best every day within your means and the time you have
Step 5. Incorporate relaxation and rest activities into your schedule
- Do activities alone that provide a sense of relaxation. Exercise, walk, listen to music, read, cook, or practice yoga. Make time for yourself by resting. This is part of the self-recovery necessary for you to be able to cope with the stresses of everyday life.
- Designate one night a week as a time to please yourself and have fun with your family, perhaps by watching a movie, playing a game, or traveling together. Everyone is trapped in daily routines and schedules. So, set aside one night a week to stop activities and get the whole family together to get to know each other better.
Step 6. Avoid negative people around you
Look for people who can help you increase your energy and keep you feeling positive, purposeful, and calm. Don't befriend people who gossip, complain, or are used to being negative.
