Trust is one of the keys to a lasting relationship between you and your partner. It's natural to worry about a lot of things in a relationship. But be careful, your relationship can actually be destroyed if this worry develops excessively and inappropriately. To prevent this, know how to trust your partner. Have you been disappointed? This article also explains how to rebuild broken trust and how to deal with any crisis of trust you may experience afterward.
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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with a Crisis of Trust
Step 1. Think carefully about why you find it difficult to trust your partner
Before making any decision, it's important to understand the cause of the crisis of trust that is plaguing you. Think and understand the reason well before discussing it with your partner.
- Has your partner ever done something that made you hesitate? Do you feel like your partner is avoiding you? Or is there someone's comment that indicates your partner is hard to trust?
- Is there evidence to support your concerns and doubts?
Step 2. Don't jump to conclusions
Even if your reasons are strong enough, don't jump to conclusions that could harm your relationship. When suspicion arises, don't act impulsively. Calm yourself and try to digest the situation wisely.
- Is there another explanation for your partner's behavior that makes you suspicious? Make sure you find out the facts behind his attitude.
- Has something similar happened in your past relationship? What was the result like?
- Try asking for advice from colleagues or friends who often help you through difficult times.
Step 3. Reflect on your past relationships
Before busy assuming, think back to your previous relationship. Have you been cheated on before? If so, it could be that this anxiety and suspicion is rooted in the experience.
- If you think past experiences have affected your relationship with your partner, be honest with your partner. In addition to preventing possible misunderstandings, you can also discuss what to do so that the same feelings don't reappear in the future.
- If he doesn't understand it and refuses to help you deal with the situation, then he doesn't deserve your trust.
- If you're stuck in an emotional situation and have trouble getting over a bad experience in the past, try asking a trusted therapist or psychologist for help. Do this for the sake of your relationship and your partner!
Step 4. Share your feelings with your partner
As difficult as it may seem, the best way to deal with a crisis of trust is to share your concerns with your partner. Have a good talk with your partner about his behavior that bothers you and ask your partner's opinion.
- Psychologists usually advise you to start a conversation by saying "I feel" rather than "You." For example, instead of accusing your partner of betraying your trust, try saying "I feel hurt" or "I feel like we don't have the same vision in this relationship." Focus on how you feel, not what your partner is doing. This will make the discussion process run more relaxed and healthy.
- Think about how you would feel if someone accused you of being untrustworthy. Put your position in the position of your partner, make sure you are calm and willing to listen to his explanation.
Step 5. Make sure you give what you want to receive
If you want to be able to trust your partner, make sure you can be trusted too. Stick to that principle, and try your best to always be honest and open with your partner.
- A simple example, if you don't want your partner to text other women, then don't do it.
- Also don't nag him when he doesn't call you if you can't keep your word either.
Step 6. Show your efforts to maintain a lasting relationship
The crisis of trust can be resolved when you get closer to your partner. Therefore, take advantage of your free time to chat or do various simple activities with your partner.
Plan activities that allow you and your partner to interact and work together. For example, take a cooking class or collaborate on an art project. You and your partner can also participate in sports activities, but make sure you are on the same team. Such cooperation will strengthen and bring the relationship closer, as well as improve your communication skills with your partner
Step 7. Understand the symptoms of a more serious crisis of trust
Sometimes, a crisis of trust can develop inappropriately and disrupt the longevity of your relationship with your partner. The questions below will help you understand the symptoms:
- Is your distrust interfering with your relationship with your partner?
- Is a crisis of trust making it difficult for you to make friends or form relationships with other people?
- Was your past relationship tinged with betrayal, lies, or even violence?
- Do you harbor unfounded suspicions about everyone around you?
Step 8. Think of other causes that trigger a crisis of confidence in yourself
If you're having trouble finding reasons for your distrust of your partner, try opening yourself up to other causes. A crisis of trust is usually caused by experiences and interactions that have occurred in childhood. Below are some of the causes that can trigger a crisis of confidence in a person:
- People who have been victims of emotional or physical abuse and have experienced rejection in their lives tend to find it difficult to trust others.
- People who often feel unloved or have low self-esteem also tend to have a hard time trusting their partner.
- Traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness that won't go away, or a betrayal can also affect your ability to trust others.
- Certain types of mental illness can also trigger anxiety disorders, delusions, or excessive fear that makes it difficult for you to trust others.
Step 9. Consult your problem with a professional therapist or psychologist
If you think you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, try seeing a professional therapist or psychologist. They can help understand your anxiety and provide you with the best possible support and care.
Method 2 of 3: Learning How to Build Trust
Step 1. Remember, two people in a relationship must be able to trust each other
Trust is something you share with your partner. The process of trusting your partner will be easier if you can also maintain the trust of your partner.
- If you want to trust your partner, make sure you can be trusted too. If you don't want your partner to flirt with other women, make sure you don't do it with other men either.
- One way to build trust is to make sure you and your partner are honest and open with each other. Such an attitude shows that you can depend on your partner, and vice versa. For example, if you and your partner have agreed to do something together, make sure you actually do it and no one is denying it.
Step 2. Make a commitment to trust someone
As simple as it sounds, making a commitment to trust your partner will unwittingly lead you to act in the same way. If you and your partner have agreed to commit, it's a sign that you both have the same vision of the relationship. Make that vision a reality and your relationship will improve.
Step 3. Think about your partner's feelings
One of the important keys to building trust in your partner is to understand their feelings and emotions. Put this on your priority list if you also want to get the same treatment from your partner.
- The most important part at this stage is being willing to listen to your partner's complaints, and respecting their thoughts and feelings.
- Even if you don't agree with your partner's thoughts, don't respond with harsh, unsavory words and attitudes.
Step 4. Try to have face-to-face interactions, not just through your cellphone or laptop screen
In order to build trust, you and your partner need to frequently interact face-to-face and talk one-on-one. Even if you can't see your partner all the time, always make time for a few days a week to meet and communicate face-to-face.
- In addition to helping bring you and your partner closer, this process can also increase a sense of security in a relationship.
- Trust can come more easily if you talk while looking your partner in the eye. Eyes are the most useful honest sense for detecting lies, right?
Step 5. Make a pact not to share problems in your relationship with anyone else
Sharing relationship details with other people can reduce trust between partners. If you both agree not to break this agreement, it can be easier to build trust.
If there are things you don't want to share, make sure you tell your partner to avoid misunderstandings. On the other hand, if he tells you something confidential, make sure you can keep it safe and don't tell anyone
Step 6. Feel free to admit mistakes and apologize
Mistakes are inevitable in a relationship. Willingness to admit mistakes and apologize is the main foundation for building trust in a relationship.
Problems in a relationship can be more easily resolved if both parties are willing to admit each other's faults that triggered the problem
Step 7. Learn to forgive
Holding grudges, anger, or sadness can affect your ability to trust your partner. Tell what's bothering your partner. If afterward he apologizes sincerely, no matter how difficult it is, try to forgive him.
The habit of bringing up past experiences will cloud your communication with your partner. If you're used to bringing it up, chances are your partner won't be honest and open again in the future
Step 8. Take time for yourself
While spending time with your partner is important, you also need to make time for yourself, your family, and friends. Keeping your distance from your partner will help hone your instincts and open yourself up to new possibilities as they arise.
If you're concerned that your doubts are unfounded, try discussing it with your friends or family. This will help you analyze things more wisely and open your mind to new perspectives from those closest to you
Step 9. Don't give up easily
Trust is not something that can be built overnight. It takes hard work, patience, and commitment from you and your partner to make it work.
Having doubts about your partner is normal in a relationship. Let alone you, your partner may also feel the same doubt about you many times. The way you and your partner deal with these problems will determine the strength of your relationship
Method 3 of 3: Rebuilding Collapsed Trust
Step 1. Talk to your partner about lost trust
Whatever the cause, your relationship isn't going anywhere if neither one is willing to communicate their feelings for each other.
- Make sure communication is done face to face. You and your partner won't be able to see each other's expressions (which usually helps to analyze someone's honesty) if you're communicating over the phone, email, or texting.
- Speak as honestly and openly as possible when discussing with your partner. Lying or turning a blind eye to the problem at first glance feels less painful. At least you and your partner will be fine FOR a while. But lie after lie that keeps piling up for a long time will smell good too, right? Instead of stalling for time until the time bomb explodes, it's better to tell everything as it is early on.
- As calmly as possible, explain the attitude or behavior of your partner in question. Don't make accusations! Just explain how you feel or think. Start the conversation with something like "I'm worried about…" or "I feel that…". The actual situation may not be the same as you think, so discuss everything. Do not immediately accuse your partner or your relationship will be destroyed because of it. Even if you feel betrayed, using accusatory sentences will make your partner defensive and angry. Have a good talk.
- If you feel you need help from a third party, ask a trusted therapist or psychologist to assist you and your partner.
Step 2. Take the positive side of this difficult situation
Even though no one wants to be in your position, consider this an opportunity for you and your partner to strengthen relationships or rebuild relationships that have been destroyed, and improve the communication that exists between you and your partner.
Adopting this kind of mindset can help you get past the issue of betrayal and trust your partner again
Step 3. Create new rules in your relationship
If the lost trust is the result of your partner's betrayal, you need to discuss new rules so that the same mistakes don't happen again in the future. Negotiate this rule with your partner so that what will be applied is the result of a mutual agreement.
- Think about the various triggers that often become a problem. For example, if money is the trigger for a crisis of confidence, then discuss new ways of managing money in the future. Be specific about everything and make sure both parties stick to it.
- If you and your partner have never gone through this kind of process before, then this is the right time to start implementing it in your relationship. Determine what attitudes and behaviors can and cannot be done by both parties.
Step 4. Be sensitive and understanding
Regardless of who feels offended, both parties must be willing to be sensitive and understanding to their respective partners. This will help improve your communication skills with your partner and restore the integrity of the relationship.
No one wants to talk to someone who is insensitive or understanding of the other person's feelings
Step 5. Learn to trust your instincts and intuition
Maybe this is difficult to do after you have been betrayed by your partner. But believe me, when your instinct to trust other people's honesty is honed, you will feel more confident when you have to trust your partner again.
- What's the easiest way to hone your instincts? Experts recommend watching your body's reaction to everything. Does your skin suddenly feel a tingle or goosebumps? Or a sudden uncomfortable sensation that comes from nowhere? If that's the case, it's possible that your instincts are telling you to be vigilant.
- Research shows that your first reaction to any situation is an honest one. Remember, this doesn't mean you can be impulsive or lose control without evidence. You just need to learn to listen to your inner voice, which usually only appears a few seconds after a situation occurs.
Step 6. Don't let fear rule your relationship
The fear of being betrayed can literally bury your ability to have a healthy relationship with your partner. Don't let fear control your relationship and get in the way of your happiness.
- Think carefully about what triggers the fear. Does the fear stem from facts or from your personal doubts about your relationship?
- Talk with your partner about the best solution that can bury the fear deep. What's the best and easiest way to convince you and your partner that your fear is just an unfounded fantasy?
- The more you trust your instincts, the better your ability to overcome fear will be.
Step 7. Ask for help
Rebuilding a broken trust is not easy. There's no need to be embarrassed or hesitant to seek help from a more skilled third party, such as a therapist, marriage counselor, or other mental health professional.
They are trained to handle these kinds of situations. Don't hesitate to trust them to bridge communication between you and your partner
Tips
- If your partner repeatedly breaks your trust, leave him or her. He doesn't deserve your trust and sincerity.
- If you want your partner to be honest and open, make sure you do the same.
- If you're having trouble trusting your partner or are having trouble communicating your crisis of trust, try seeing a therapist or psychologist. They can help you understand and solve your problem.
