Talking to girls is easy, but getting to know them better? Really get to know him better? It requires hard work. You can learn to have a better conversation or feel comfortable in the conversation you are having, strengthen the bond with the girl you are talking to, and get to know her better.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Talking to Girls
Step 1. Have lots of short conversations first
Aim to have a lot of short conversations first rather than immediately having long conversations. If you want to be a great seducer, and get a girl interested in you, try talking to her every day.
- Invite him to chat in the corridor after class. Say a few sentences, then say, “See you later.”
- Always say that you will talk to him again. This will ensure that you will always think of him, and that you will both think of each other.
Step 2. Listen to what he has to say
One of the best ways to get a girl to open up to you is to be a good listener. Focus on being a good listener. Show that you are interested in the story.
- Don't dominate the conversation. Ask questions instead of starting a story. Look at his face as he speaks, and nod to show that you pay attention to his every word.
- After he has finished speaking, summarize the story and use his name when you speak. This can show that you give the girl special attention.
Step 3. Make eye contact
Eye contact is very important to have a good conversation. If you want to get to know a girl better, practice making better eye contact when you or she is talking.
If you have trouble maintaining eye contact, or eye contact makes you awkward, practice. While you're watching television, practice keeping your eyes on the actors on TV for as long as possible, or practice looking at the spots on their faces just around the eyes, such as your nose, eyebrows, or other points for you to look at
Step 4. Smile to relax him
If you want someone to open up to you, make them feel comfortable by smiling. Even if you're nervous, serious, or if you think you're serious with her, you should make both you and the girl relax with a smile. Carve a smile on your seductive face.
Even if you don't want to get to know the girl further in the context of a romantic relationship, you still have to show that you enjoy talking to her and that you enjoy her company. The trick is to smile
Step 5. Read her body language
It's important to make sure you don't annoy someone by walking up to them and asking lots of questions. Make sure that your presence is welcomed by learning to read the girl's body language. If he doesn't want to chat, he'll show the following body language, which means you should end the conversation and leave it alone:
- Folding arms
- Frowning
- Looking down and avoiding eye contact
- Making a confused expression
- Turning face
- Answering questions with short answers
Step 6. Relax
If you feel nervous every time you start a conversation with a girl, learn to calm yourself down before the moment comes. Be as natural as possible. Keep the conversation simple and straightforward by keeping the conversation short.
Often, you will feel tense because you feel like you have nothing to talk about, or you are afraid to say something silly. We'll cover that in the next section
Part 2 of 3: Knowing What to Say
Step 1. Ask questions instead of telling yourself
Many people, especially men, talk too much about themselves in conversation. If you tend to do this when you're nervous, try changing your tactics. Instead, ask more questions and keep him talking about himself. This will reduce the pressure inside you and allow you to get to know him a little better.
- Make questions that are complex, but still light. Asking, “What do you think about the chemistry test? Are you sure you got good grades?” is a great way, but directly asking a philosophical question like his opinion on religion might sound a little awkward.
- Use open-ended questions. If you ask, "How are you?" he will easily answer, "Fine", and you will be difficult to develop. Ask specific questions that take time to answer, such as: “How was football this year?”
Step 2. Look for similarities
If you want to start a conversation and get to know a girl better, find something you both like. This can build trust and friendship. If you can talk about something every day, he knows he can call you to talk about the subject.
- If you are in the same class as him, you can always search for topics about that class. Talk about your study, boring lessons, and other class-related topics. Try to study together.
- You at least know you both live in the same city and can discuss a few things about where you live. Talk about things going on around you, places to hang out, and topics specific to where you live.
Step 3. Try to understand his sense of humor
It's easier to talk to someone if you know what makes them laugh. Is he sarcastic? Stupid? Does he like funny comments? Try to find out more about topics that make him laugh.
- Look at his Facebook or other social media accounts. What movies does he like? What topic could make him comment “LOL”?
- Be careful. If you want to get to know a girl the right way, complimenting her outfit or asking if she was in pain when she fell from heaven usually won't work. Flirting, which can sound funny at times, is the most superficial way to start a conversation. Don't use flirting, unless you want him to roll his eyes.
Step 4. Follow up on something he told you earlier
Sometimes, the second and third conversations can be more difficult than the first. When you're talking about basics, what else do you two talk about? Learning to follow up is an essential conversational skill.
- Ask him what he's been up to since you chatted with him. "How was the exam?" or “Where were you last weekend?” is a good follow-up. You might ask, “Hey, it's been a while since we talked. What have you been up to since the last time we talked?"
- If you're talking about movies, bands, or any other subject, do a little research and tell him about it. “I listened to the band you suggested yesterday. I really like the second song. Which is your favourite?”
Step 5. Don't argue, even in jest
Bullying a girl is an act you did in elementary school. This is not a good way to get to know someone better. If you like someone and want to get to know them better, stay away from controversial topics and don't argue.
- A common seduction tactic is to try to “gently insult” a girl to make them more vulnerable. This is not a good way to get to know someone better.
- In the end, you can and should disagree with the person you like. If you know him well, you don't have to agree with everything he says. But at first, don't tease him because you'll either make him defensive or hurt his feelings.
Step 6. Don't write a script
When you're nervous, sometimes we feel that having a script can help. Often times, this will make the conversation even more awkward and uncomfortable than speaking naturally. Even if you're not an expert at conversation, don't be a robot reading a script when talking to a girl.
Part 3 of 3: Getting to Know a Girl Better
Step 1. Spend time alone with him
It's hard to try to get to know someone well in a group. If you want to strengthen the bond, spend time alone. Go somewhere for a chat with the two of you like a cafe or restaurant in the middle of the day.
- If you go to school together, finding a quiet place to sit together, away from other students, can be a good way to start a private conversation.
- You don't have to ask him out, and saying that your meeting was a date can put even more pressure on him. Just find reasons to hang out together and chat.
Step 2. Ask complex questions
In the end, the conversation you start has to go deeper than just talking about school, bands, and movies, if you want to get to know someone better. Ask for his opinion on a serious matter. Find out what he's thinking. Talk about things worth talking about.
- Keep digging for information about events in the world and politics. Ask his opinion about the recent general election, or other political matters. Find out what he is interested in.
- Ask about things that make him anxious and scared. What kind of person is he? What keeps him from sleeping at night?
Step 3. Talk about the future
What does he want to do with his life? Where does he want to live in the next 10 years? What makes him happy? These are questions that can be a good topic of conversation, if you want to get to know someone better.
- If you both attend the same school, talk about your educational future. Does he hope to go to college? What will he learn? What do you want to do after finishing school?
- If you have finished your schooling, talk about where he will continue his life. Where does he want to live? Is he satisfied with his job? Does he want to have a family? Or child?
Step 4. Be an open person
Your job is not to impress a girl with your achievements. Your job is to be yourself as you get to know him better. Be yourself. Conversation is about give and take. Tell him about your feelings and anxieties, if you want to know his feelings and anxieties. Be open and approach him.
- It's possible that you're asking so many questions that he thinks you're like a stalker. If you never talk about yourself, but want to find out if he wants to have kids or not, that kind of conversation doesn't count as conversation. Such a conversation is more suitable to be called an interrogation. You also have to talk about other things.
- Let him ask questions, but don't wait until he does. You both have to share the same portion. However, if he wants to talk more, so be it.
Step 5. Get to know his family better
Seeing how someone interacts with their family can add to your insight. If you want to know the ins and outs of a person, look at the way he interacts with his parents. Look at the way he treats his brother and sister. Look at the way his family always looks harmonious.
- This may take some time, but if you've been friends with someone long enough, it's common to come over to their house for dinner, or just hanging out. Let him invite you first, don't invite yourself to visit his house.
- Introduce yourself to his family, and see how they react to you. Studying someone's parents is like studying that person.
Tips
- Try to make him laugh.
- Be yourself. Don't try to look smarter, cooler, or stronger than you really are.
Warning
- Ask for the phone number in a nice way.
- Don't insult him, but it's okay to tease him for a joke.
