For some people, making friends in a short time is easy, but for some it takes a lot of time to become good friends with someone. This article explains various tips for making lasting friendships even though it takes a long process starting from introducing yourself, getting to know new friends, and strengthening friendships.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Introducing Yourself
Step 1. Introduce yourself to the person you want to befriend
Friendship can be started by doing certain things, for example introducing yourself. Find the perfect time to say hello to a new friend and say your name without being pushy.
- You can meet new friends at school or at work. Getting to know each other will be easier if you are already friends with someone who is also their friend because you are both already in the same community.
- If you're at a party, introduce yourself to someone so someone can chat with you.
- If you are placed on the same project or have to complete a task together, introduce yourself to a friend who will be your co-worker.
Step 2. Ask various questions about his daily life
If you get a chance, ask a new friend the following questions to show that you want to get to know them better.
- "Do you have brothers and sisters? How many brothers/sisters do you have?"
- "What activities do you like to do in your spare time?"
- "What sport do you enjoy?"
- "Do you like cooking?"
- "What are your hobbies?"
- "How long have you lived here?"
- "What type/group of music are you most interested in? Who is your favorite artist?"
- "Do you like reading? What's your favorite book?"
Step 3. Answer him if he asks you various questions
After answering a question, he's more likely to ask you the same question. Try to answer in a friendly manner so that he gets to know you too.
- Friendship is two-way communication. You both need to know each other in order to be good friends.
- Have a balanced conversation. When answering questions, don't talk so long that it looks like you're monopolizing the conversation because you're taking more time to yourself.
Step 4. Don't take the topic too seriously
In order to get to know new friends, don't discuss controversial and personal issues.
- Choose general and interesting conversation topics, such as finding out about each other's hobbies or interests.
- If the conversation is about personal matters, discuss other topics or ask the question, "Have you ever been to a music concert?"
- If the conversation starts to lead to a controversial issue, divert it by saying, "This issue is indeed being debated. How about we discuss another topic that is more exciting?"
Step 5. Don't sound like you want to interrogate
When finding out about new friends, don't ask too many questions. Even if you want to get to know her better, don't let her feel like she's being interviewed.
- When you run into new friends at school or at the mall, take this opportunity to get to know them better.
- Friendship cannot be established just like that or in a short time. It may take weeks, even months, for you to become good friends with new friends.
Step 6. Ask for his mobile number at the right time
If you already know a new friend and feel ready to make friends with them, ask if you can ask for their cell phone number. You can communicate with him via:
- Call and/or SMS after getting a mobile number
- Username without mobile number
- Social media accounts, such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Part 2 of 3: Understanding the Principles Underlying Friendship
Step 1. Know how to make friends
In order to be good friends with someone and have good friends, you have to be a good friend yourself.
Do reflection to understand your personality so that you can determine your own strengths and weaknesses as a friend. Determine the weaknesses that need to be corrected so that you can become a good friend. For example, because several times you forgot to reply to messages from friends, from now on you commit to replying to every incoming message within a few hours
Step 2. Be casual when interacting with new friends
You will certainly be disappointed if you find out that the friend you have known so far does not show his true personality. Therefore, you also have to be yourself when interacting with him.
- Show that you like to chat. Maybe he likes to chat too!
- Be humorous and tell interesting jokes.
- Tell your hobbies and interests even if others find them odd. Maybe he likes the same thing!
Step 3. Accept new friends as they are
Don't demand that other people change so that they become what you want them to be. Everyone has their own uniqueness. If you want to be accepted as you are, so do your friends.
Step 4. Invite a new friend to spend time together
There are many things you can do to make new friends, for example:
- Watching movie in theatre
- View a painting exhibition
- Shop
- Inviting him to dinner at home
- Invite him to chat at home
- Invite him to play games or video games at home
- Invite him to play soccer or basketball with the neighbors
Step 5. Remember a special moment for him and celebrate it
Give a card or gift on his birthday. He will also appreciate it if you congratulate him on a success, victory, or acceptance into a particular community/program.
- Show genuine happiness. Other people can sense when you pretend to be happy. Remember that this will ruin the friendship.
- For example, you and a new friend are struggling to achieve the same goal (say, you both signed up for a certain program), but you failed. Don't be jealous of him because this is a negative attitude and hinders friendship.
Step 6. Show him that you are always ready to help
Friends should support each other in difficult times. Be a reliable friend whenever he needs you.
- Provide help when he has problems. For example, if he has a fight with his sister or another friend, be a good listener if he needs to.
- Be a reliable friend. Reliability is an important aspect in establishing friendships. If you've said that he can count on you at any time, prove what you're saying.
Step 7. Be open and honest with her
A good relationship cannot be established if both parties keep secrets and lies. So you both need to be open and honest with each other.
- If a friend asks for an opinion, convey it politely and honestly.
- Explain your views in a polite and friendly manner.
- Don't keep things a secret from him, especially things related to him.
Part 3 of 3: Cultivating Friendship
Step 1. Show that you appreciate his willingness to befriend you
This can be done in various ways and on various occasions so that you can prove that he is a good friend, for example by:
- Be a trusted and reliable friend.
- Be honest.
- Be yourself.
- Be supportive.
- Give attention.
- Celebrate his success.
- Provide assistance when needed.
Step 2. Give a reasonable excuse if you can't make time for it
If he's taking you out on a trip, but you have other plans or work to do, let him know right away and suggest that the two of you meet up another day.
This way proves that you also want to meet to spend time with him
Step 3. Solve the problem as best you can
Sometimes, disagreements and misunderstandings persist even though the two of you have a lot in common. Try to overcome the things that may be obstacles in making friendships.
- If you make a mistake, apologize because you have to take responsibility for the actions that have been done.
- Suggest solutions to the problem together, instead of demanding that he solve it alone.
Step 4. Use the same perspective
Despite the many similarities, the two of you are very different individuals. Learn to understand a particular problem or event from another person's point of view.
- Try to understand why he's upset or disappointed by getting to the root of the problem.
- Don't just ignore issues that seem unimportant. Instead, discuss this with him to determine the best solution.
Step 5. Respect her privacy
Sometimes, a person refuses help or sets boundaries so that others are not involved in every aspect of his life. So you have to respect and fulfill his wishes.
- A good friendship can still be established even though you both live far apart. As much as possible, stay in touch and show that you respect his wishes.
- Show that you still want to be good friends even if he wants to keep his distance.
- Remember that you don't have to see him every day because you both have your own activities, routines, and obligations.
Step 6. Trust him
A good friendship requires mutual trust. Don't expect your friends to believe you if you don't.
- Be honest and open with him so he can always trust you.
- If there's a problem, talk it over to come to a mutual agreement so you can still trust it.
- Express your feelings and desires as a way of showing your trust in him because you decided to trust him.
- Sorry if he made a mistake. Holding grudges is bad for your emotional health and hinders the formation of good friendships.
