True friendship is an asset in life, but in some chapters of life, you may feel that you have no close friends. If this is your situation, you can work around it by loving yourself and learning to enjoy being alone. These times may be difficult, but it will help you to develop a positive outlook and seek support from others. Lastly, don't be afraid to go out to meet new people. Remember, anyone can be a potential friend.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Coping With Loneliness
Step 1. Love yourself
This means that you must love, respect, and be kind to yourself. Having trouble? Realize that you are not alone. Everyone must have felt alone and lonely. Just because you feel alone doesn't mean you're inappropriate or weird. In fact, those feelings indicate that you are human.
- Remember that your own feelings are just feelings, not part of your identity.
- Think about how you would treat loved ones if they were suffering. Now, treat yourself the same way. Start by speaking a kind language, just like you would when you talk to your loved ones.
- Give yourself a gentle touch, such as a pat on the back or a hug. It may feel strange, but it actually has a calming effect.
Step 2. Cultivate your feelings of loneliness
Loneliness is sad. However, you need to be able to understand and deal with those feelings, not suppress them. Take time to process your feelings. Watch for a lump in your throat, a tight feeling in your chest, and an empty feeling in your stomach. Then, you will be able to overcome the feeling.
- If you feel the urge to cry while you're working on your feelings, cry. There's no need to be ashamed of letting out your emotions, in fact you'll feel better afterwards.
- Cultivating feelings is not the same as wailing. On the other hand, understanding your feelings can help you deal with them.
Step 3. Focus on long-term goals
If you feel lonely, devote energy to achieving long-term goals. Do you want to study at your dream campus? Focus on getting good grades and participating in the school community. If you dream of going to Europe, make a savings plan.
- Write down your goals and plan to achieve them. Your chances of achieving your goals will be greater if you follow the plan that has been drawn up.
- Big goals are a bit scary. So, break it down into smaller daily tasks. If you want to write a novel, set a goal to write a few pages each day.
Step 4. Take time to do activities that you enjoy
You can have fun alone, just find some free time to do it. Maybe you like writing, hiking, or painting. Doing activities you enjoy will improve your mood and get to know yourself better.
Try watching a concert of your favorite artist. Going to a concert alone can be a little awkward, but once you're there, you won't feel alone. At least, everyone who attends a concert has one thing in common, namely liking the performing artist or musician
Step 5. Create a YouTube video
If you're feeling lonely, try making YouTube videos to say hello to the world and share your thoughts and feelings with different kinds of people. Whether you're doing, telling jokes, singing, or showing off your ball playing skills or putting on makeup, you can connect with people around the world through great videos.
The YouTube community is full of potential friends. People may like your videos and leave fun comments that can lead to friendship. Or, you can find new friends by watching and commenting on other users' videos
Step 6. Create a blog
Writing a personal blog is a way to share your interest in a subject with the world, learn a lot about the subject, and be part of a productive community who share your interests. Find something you enjoy, like baseball, yoga, or fashion, and start writing.
- Many bloggers end up forming a community of friends when someone reads their writing and makes a connection.
- You don't have to announce your blog to other people, or even publish your posts if you don't want to.
Step 7. Take an online course
Distract by devoting energy to learning something new. Look for open university information or online courses the university offers. You may already have a degree or choose a major, but there are plenty of other courses out there in anything from microeconomics to European history, which can help you explore an interesting subject.
Online courses also give life structure and meaning. You may feel like days are empty without friends, and courses are a useful and productive way to fill that free time
Method 2 of 4: Be Positive
Step 1. Pamper yourself
Self-care can improve your mood and relax you. Take at least one day a week to relax and relax your body.
- Self-care includes anything that helps you pamper your mind, body, or spirit, such as eating a healthy diet, exercising, getting enough sleep, or enjoying the outdoors
- You can also indulge in pampering activities such as going to the salon for a massage, facial treatment, nail painting, or haircut.
Step 2. Start talking positively to yourself
You may tend to blame yourself for not having friends. There may be thoughts, "I'm useless" or "No one likes me." This statement is not only false, but also counterproductive. Positive words mean speaking well to yourself and fighting negative thoughts with something positive.
- If you find yourself thinking "No one likes me," think of a family that thinks you're great. You can say, “Wait, that's not true. I have a family that loves me.”
- List the attributes that make you a good friend, such as being there when needed. Read this list again when you feel useless.
Step 3. Develop a positive outlook
It may be difficult at first to see the true goodness that is always around you. Perhaps you are driven to see the ugliness in the world and view everything in a negative light. Try to be grateful for anything, like the sun shining or your health.
- Start with a gratitude journal where you can write down three things that went well at the end of the day. After doing this for some time, you will begin to realize that things are not as bad as you think.
- Instead of focusing on your thoughts, focus on treating others well. Try smiling at people you pass on the street. Maybe you'll get a smile back.
Step 4. Have a diary
A diary is a fantastic tool to dive into the mind and see how it affects feelings and behavior. A diary also gives you the time you need to calm your mind and reflect on your life and values. A diary is also a good place to write down future goals and find ways to achieve them.
Reread your diary every six months to see how you are progressing and changing
Step 5. Exercise regularly
An active lifestyle helps improve your mood and makes you happier with yourself. Exercise will not only improve your mood and outlook, but also make your body fitter. So go outside for a few minutes each day to go for a walk or enjoy some sunshine and fresh air.
You may also need to take an exercise class at a local gym or recreation center. Keeping fit in this way will allow you to make new friends
Step 6. Be a good person
Kindness has many benefits. You may feel rejected and angry with the world, but that kind of attitude only drives people away. Try to be an understanding, kind, and understanding person. If you exude kindness and a positive attitude, you are also more likely to attract good people.
Smile at a stranger, hold the door for the elderly woman behind you, or help the kids find their lost ball
Method 3 of 4: Getting Support
Step 1. See a counselor
Sometimes, you need a little help to open up to new friends. Excessive negative thoughts and feelings may signal a problem that requires professional help. In addition, difficulty in socializing may be an indication of social anxiety, shyness, or other problems. A counselor can help you overcome these problems so that you can be more confident in making friends.
Step 2. Enjoy time with your family
Maybe you actually have friends under the same roof, namely family. They can also be great friends even if you don't see them that way. Enjoy time with your parents or siblings, or call them as often as possible. You may feel like they can't be a good supporter or can help you through tough times, but they really can.
Create a fun new tradition, like a game night once a week or a movie with pizza on Fridays
Step 3. Have a pet
While they can't replace humans, pets are loyal friends and can relieve stress and make your day more enjoyable. You can get a dog or cat at an animal shelter. As a bonus, pets also help make new friends. It provides an excuse to play outside and chat with other pet owners you meet on the street or in the park.
Method 4 of 4: Making Friends
Step 1. Try getting people to talk
There are lots of potential friends around you, but maybe you don't know how to approach and connect with them. However, starting a conversation can be scary at times. However, don't doubt yourself, you can. Take a deep breath, and ask a stranger something or comment on your surroundings. The basic rule is that people love to talk about themselves and their interests. So, look for cues that can get them to talk.
- For example, you are in line at the store and in front of you is a person who likes to play with his cellphone. You can say, “You're great. What is the purpose of the game?”
- Try asking open-ended questions that provoke the other person to give detailed answers, not just “yes” or “no”.
- An example of a good open-ended question is, “Your favorite sport is rafting? What do you like about white water rafting?”
Step 2. Expose yourself to social situations
If you're feeling lonely or unsure of your ability to make friends, it may be tempting to turn down invitations to parties or other activities. However, this event is a valuable opportunity to make friends. Calm down when you're nervous, and head to an office party or your cousin's birthday party. It was a risk that might lead to new friends.
Seeing people can help you to like them more, it's called the exposure effect. Pick a specific place, such as a coffee shop or cafe and sit there. Who knows? You can make friends with other employees or guests
Step 3. Hang out with a positive attitude
People are attracted to others who radiate positive energy. Make sure you always speak well of other people. Cheap gossip, while entertaining at times, is not a way to make new friends. Also, don't forget to smile. You will automatically appear more friendly and easy to like.
- People like other people who make them happy. So, do not hesitate to praise sincerely and provide support.
- You can say, “It's great that you volunteer at a homeless shelter every week. Impressive! Come on, tell me more."
Step 4. Pursue your interests with others
Hanging out can improve your mood and perspective. If you're in a sport or hobby, go to club events, meetings, and competitions. At these events, you will meet people who have something in common with you. Chatting will be easy to do, you just need to start by talking about common interests.
- Don't be afraid to join a club where you've never been involved, such as drama or bowling. You can meet lots of people who are just as inexperienced, and create bonds through challenges faced and funny mistakes.
- Go slow first if you are in doubt. However, don't let the fear of rejection get in the way of your desire to associate with interesting, like-minded people.
Step 5. Search the internet for like-minded people
While it may take some time to find friends in the area where you live, you can meet lots of people on the internet, who share the same thoughts, ideas, and passions. Online friendships are not as intimate as comfortable world friendships, and usually don't completely solve the problem of loneliness. However, it's still a great way to make friends and pass the time.
However, don't forget to make friends in the real world, and be careful when meeting or connecting with people you know on the internet
Step 6. Try volunteer work
Doing something good for the environment, like a community service project, is a great way to meet people and give to the community. By helping people who are less fortunate, you will think less of yourself and can improve your perspective. In fact, you will feel much more grateful.
