For some, very few situations can compete with the frustration of being ignored by a boyfriend. When a boyfriend reduces communication by not replying to messages or being indifferent, the result is hurt and problems in the relationship. Luckily, there are lots of ways to find out why he's ignoring you and ways to make things right.
Step
Method 1 of 2: After Fighting
Step 1. Give him time to cool off
If you and your new boyfriend are fighting and are still emotionally upset, he may just ignore you to control his feelings. Give him a chance and tell him you're ready to talk to him any time he wants.
Some people need alone time to process emotions, and maybe that's what he does
Step 2. Ask him how he feels
To start a conversation, ask him what the problem is and listen when he talks. Try to understand why he's ignoring you and what's causing him to stop communicating.
- For example, say, “I know you're upset when you don't reply to my messages. What is it?"
- Listen carefully without interrupting so you can understand the whole matter.
- Replying to ignore will only make things worse. You have to open communication so that the problem can be discussed.
Step 3. Talk about your feelings
You can discuss the argument from your side in detail, or convey that you were hurt by being ignored. Ask him to listen to you too, just as you listen to him.
For example, say, “I know you're upset, but when I don't hear from you, I get worried. I get sad and worried when you don't pick up the phone or reply to my messages."
Step 4. Apologize if you feel wrong
Usually, people ignore us when they are angry or feel unappreciated. If you're in the wrong, apologize to him wholeheartedly (only if you're sincerely apologizing).
For example, say, "Sorry I made fun of you, promise I won't do it again."
Step 5. Solve the problem
Being ignored is not fun at all, and can lead to communication breakdowns. Try suggesting ways to talk about the problem without ignoring it so you can come up with a plan. You can try:
- Give each other 10 minutes to cool off in separate rooms.
- Spill feelings on paper, then read to each other.
- Discuss any issues in the relationship once a week.
Method 2 of 2: Relationship and Communication Advice
Step 1. Try not to call or send consecutive messages when ignored
If he doesn't reply to messages or pick up the phone, you may have the urge to text or leave a voicemail. However, that will only make him more distant and irritated. If he doesn't respond, give him some space until he replies.
Maybe he's ignoring you because there's something else going on, and seeing your continuous messages will make him even more dizzy
Step 2. Talk about how you felt when you were ignored
It's possible that he's not even aware he's been ignoring you (or that you're very frustrated). Talk to him and tell him that when he hasn't texted or spoken to you in a long time, you feel sad and worried.
For example, say, “If I don't hear from you, I'm worried that you might be angry or have a problem. I can't be like that, it makes me upset all day."
Step 3. Ask him to make time for you instead of ignoring you because he's busy with other things
Balancing school, work, and responsibility relationships is difficult. If he neglects you to take care of other things in his life, ask him to set aside time for you during the week. Schedule a date night, call in the evening, or a special day for just the two of you.
- Remember that maybe he needs time for his hobbies too. Playing video games or playing with friends may seem silly to you, but it's important to them.
- If you notice he's been busier lately (with a new school year or another job), that's probably why he's ignoring you.
Step 4. Plan a fun date just the two of you
Maybe you and your boyfriend need to refresh your relationship. Try eating at a restaurant, buying him flowers, and strolling on the beach at sunset. Spend some alone time away from other people so you can renew and rekindle the love that something else has buried.
- If you don't want to go out, make him breakfast and serve it in bed or watch a favorite movie together. Romance does not have to spend a lot of money.
- Try turning off your phone until the date is over so you can both focus on each other.
Step 5. Encourage him to talk about troubling issues
Sometimes, in relationships, people prefer to remain silent rather than discuss issues. If he's having a hard time expressing his feelings, try asking him if he has anything to say (about relationships or general issues). Listen carefully and open yourself up to talk about how he feels.
- For example, say, “I've noticed you've been a bit distant lately. Is there something you want to talk about?"
- Remember that some people start to withdraw when they want to end a relationship. This is not a definitive explanation, but there is such a possibility.
Step 6. Re-evaluate your relationship if there is no improvement
There's no fun in dealing with people who are always ignorant. If you've had an honest and open conversation with your boyfriend and he's still ignoring you, it may be time to end the relationship.
