3 Ways to Deal with Loud Ridicule from Friends

2024 Author: Jason Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 10:50

Girls can be rude to each other. Peer-girl bullying usually begins at the junior high school level and, in some cases, continues into adulthood. One of the ways that violent girls try to bring down other girl friends is to spread sexually abusive gossip or banter to embarrass their target. This is a classic way of dropping the idea that certain things “good women” don't do, like having sex with multiple men. In some cases, you may be made fun of as a "slut" or something similar, even if you've never had sex. The banter itself often means that you are a “bad girl” and cannot be trusted. It's a tough situation to deal with, but there are strategies you can try if you become the target of this kind of ridicule.

Step

Method 1 of 1: Coping With Gossip and Ridicule

Step 1. Understand the difference between a funny banter and an embarrassing one

The word “slut” or the like is a sexual insult used to humiliate women. This is like saying that a woman or this woman is a bad person because she often has sex with many men. Sometimes, this word is used when joking between friends, but it is also used to put girls down.

• Sometimes women call each other “sluts” to reverse the negative meaning of the word, in an attempt to lighten the strong negative meaning of the word. This is a way for many women to take the shame out of their sexual pleasures. There are many groups that have been victims of such ridicule are now “taking back” their power by using words that were previously used to bring them down. If you have friends who make fun of you with the word "slut" or something like that, think about what they really mean. They may just mean to joke with you. If it bothers you, ask them to stop doing it, and since they are your friend, they should understand and do their best not to do it again.
• If someone uses the word "slut" to attack you and it makes you feel belittled, hurt, or harassed, it's clear what they're saying. He is making fun of you.

Step 2. Recognize that the word may not have anything to do with sex

While the term “slut” usually refers to someone who has sex with a lot of people, or who expresses her sexuality in such a way that people around her don't like it, in reality it's often used the other way around in friendships between women.

• One study among women in college showed that the word had very little to do with the sexual behavior of the target of the mockery. Instead, in the study, women with higher social classes used this term to insult lower class women. In other words, they do not want to mingle with other groups of women in social interaction.
• In the study, it was found that middle-class white women who were in college used the word “slut” to insult poorer women and this was mostly directed at women of color. In addition, usually the abuser himself has more sexual experience than the target of the mockery.

Step 3. Find out if you are being made fun of

This may sound silly, especially if you're not a kid anymore and you think banter is a part of middle school. In fact, people of all ages can experience ridicule, which means that there are people who are persistently mean to one particular person.

The banter of “prostitutes” (and the like) is a common form of ridicule in feuds between women. They may call you a whore because there are rumors circulating about your relationship or your sexual life (which may be started by someone who wants to boost his or her own reputation as a “champion”), but this word and other similar words (such as “bad girl”)”, “slut”, or “asshole”) are actually mockery intended to embarrass you, with or without anything to do with your sexual behavior

Step 4.

Take safe precautions in activities on social media.

Technology makes this mockery easier than ever before, so if you are active on social networking sites, you need to be careful not to make fun of the information you disclose on them.

• Lock your privacy settings and make sure that only your friends can enter the social media circle, that is, those you know and trust who can see it. If you are friends with people who like to make fun of you on social media, unfriend them immediately. You could also consider unfriending her fellow friends (“mutual friends”) as well, or at least limiting what they can see on your profile.
• Never upload anything (either text or photos) that you don't want your family, friends, coworkers, or school to know about.
• Report any form of ridicule or threatening messages you receive to your parents, teachers, and even the police if the messages are frequent or contain real threats.

Learn healthy ways to deal with conflict. You may be tempted to return the joke, but fighting back the banter, spreading gossip about the person, or getting into a physical fight won't solve the real problem. In fact, these methods may add to your problems, even though that person is the one who started the problem and not you.

• If you are experiencing this kind of teasing for the first time, consider approaching the person and asking him or her to stop making fun of you. Be a more mature person. This might be really hard to do at the time, but give the person making fun of you a genuine smile, and just say something like, "I don't understand why you're saying that, but I want you to stop it." Then, get away from him. Sometimes, banter can be countered with a genuine response that makes the culprit "tick off".
• If you think that someone is making fun of you on purpose, ask if they want to talk about it. You might say, “Is there something wrong that I did that made you angry? Can we have lunch together and talk about it?” Sitting together and talking about it can help find the root of the person's behavior, if that's what he wants. He may hear gossip about you or may have another explanation for why he treats you the way he does. While he may not want to sit down and talk about it, knowing that you're open to discussion will ease his resentment towards you and he's less likely to target you as the target of his ridicule.
• Think of the relationship as a balloon that is not full of air. If you don't add air to the balloon, it won't get any bigger. If you add air to the balloon, it will get bigger and bigger. The way to deal with ridicule is very much like that. If you refuse to fall into the banter's trap, you are refusing to add air to the balloon. Gradually, the prankster will look for another target to add air to the balloon (by serving the mockery).

Use different tactics against the banter of the gang. Bullies among women are usually in groups, and they work together to mock other women to make themselves look better. Fighting a gang of just a few people alone won't help at all.

• Avoid the situation as much as possible. Try to avoid the bullies as much as you can, and ask a friend to walk with you if you have to go to or pass somewhere you know the gang hangs out.
• Don't react. Remember what your parents told you when you were a child, that reacting to a bully will only give them what they expect. Well, your parents are right. The prankster wants to gain power, so if you don't respond by getting angry or crying, you will stop the fun and he will probably shut up. Try to stay calm and focus on something else if the banter happens again.

Talk to someone. If you feel like you're being teased by your female friends at school or at work, you don't have to suffer in silence. Talking about it will help you find strategies for dealing with it.

• Talk to your parents or another trusted adult. Explain the situation and ask for their help in finding a solution. Sometimes, parental intervention is the only way to stop the banter. Your parents can contact the bully's parents, the Principal, or help you figure out strategies to use in the event of another bullying. Parents must have studied the rules that apply to harassment in schools.
• Talk to a counselor or therapist to help you separate the criticism leveled at you from the insults that undermine your human dignity.
• Talk to a teacher, school counselor, or supervisor at work if you are made fun of or harassed at school or at work. This behavior is illegal in the workplace and almost certainly violates the code of conduct in schools and colleges, and needs to be handled administratively so that it doesn't happen again.

Repairing a Damaged Reputation

1. Know that people do like to gossip. Whether you're in middle school, high school, college, or the workplace, gossip will always be a problem as long as there are people gathered to have a conversation.

   

   On the one hand, you have to accept that gossip happens and you can't always deal with it. On the other hand, if negative gossip is being spread about you because of your behavior, you can take steps to repair the damaged reputation

2. Deal with untruthful gossip in a way that is comfortable for you. If someone spreads rumors that your sexuality is messed up and it's not true, know that this is a form of sexual harassment. There are different ways to deal with it, depending on who is spreading the rumors and how comfortable you are.

   

   • Talk to someone in authority to help you deal with this harassment. This may be a parent, teacher, supervisor, supervisor, or supervisor at the school.
   • You can also try to confront the person responsible for spreading the rumor directly if you know who spread it. However, if the person who started the gossip is a prankster who doesn't know you, you should know that dealing with such a person will make you even more of a target.

3. Take responsibility for your own lifestyle. If you're happy with your lifestyle, what other people say shouldn't necessarily have an impact on you. However, if you are doing things that hurt yourself or others and have damaged your own reputation, you can take steps to take responsibility for your lifestyle and start improving your reputation.

   

   • Make sure that your emotional needs are met. Build and maintain relationships with friends who support and care about you, and respect and support your choices.
   • Make sure that you don't hurt other people too. If you have multiple sexual partners, make sure you don't play with people who are committed to the relationship, and make sure that your sexual partner knows what you mean. Also make sure that you use protection when having sex.

4. Deal with people who treat you differently. If rumors have spread about your messed up sex life, you'll know it's because people are starting to treat you differently. In particular, you can see guys treating you differently because they think you're always open to having sex with just about anyone.

   

   • If you have been sexually harassed or sexually approached by men, know that this is not your fault. No one can make another person a sexual object. Ask the person to stop, then tell someone you trust (such as a parent, teacher, or supervisor). They will help you deal with this situation. If you feel unsafe for any reason, call the police or go to local authorities.
   • If people you used to be friends with are now avoiding you, consider talking to them to find out why. Remember that someone who stops being your friend because of gossip isn't really a true friend.

5. Build a reputation for being kind, caring, fun, and trustworthy. It's true that your sex life is your personal business, but there's not much you can do to stop people from being the subject of this conversation. The most you can do is try your best to be a "nice" person so that people don't want to keep wasting their time talking about your life.

   

   • Many women talk about other women's sex lives because they are jealous or because they are worried that sexually experienced women will steal their boyfriends or husbands. By showing everyone that you are a kind and sincere person, you can calm their fears.
   • Try to be nice to other people, including people who are not nice to you. It shows that you have a big heart. This will take a long time, but consistency, kindness, and sincerity will turn a bad reputation into a good one.

6. Be patient. A good reputation is something that has been built over a long time, but a single mistake can ruin that reputation. This can be frustrating and unfair, but it's a part of life that you have to accept. Have a firm determination to build a good reputation, even though it may take years.

   

   • Find a particular hobby, community, or pastime to keep yourself busy and keep your mind off social problems. You can choose to volunteer or donate something to the community to help build a reputation as a caring and compassionate person.
   • In the meantime, try to learn to stop caring about what other people think of you.

   Understanding Why Women Attack Other Women

   1. Know that this is not your fault. It's not your fault if someone makes fun of your behavior, even though the rumors they are spreading about you may be true. Other people have their own choice in how they treat you, and no one can be justified when he or she harasses you or insults you.

      

      While you may be more sexually experienced than other women, no one can justify making fun of you with self-injurious labels. You don't deserve to be treated that way. You are precious

   2. Know that he may be hurt too. Perhaps this is a reason that can make you feel a little more comfortable, namely the fact that most pranksters are actually hurting in secret. Bullying is a process-built behavior, and there are many reasons why people engage in this behavior. Research shows that mockery often occurs because the perpetrator does not have a close relationship and feels rejected by society. They vent their feelings towards other people so that other people also feel rejected.

      

      • Bullies tend to be manipulative, jealous, and lack empathy for others.
      • Everyone has a basic need to be accepted, to be a part of something, to be in control, and to find meaning in life. Unfortunately, ridicule is caused by the non-fulfillment of all these needs. Perpetrators may make fun of people who seem unhappy (who appear to be “easy targets”) or people who have things they don't, such as loving relationships, good grades, or successful jobs.
      • Bullies usually do that so that they themselves are not made fun of and are not targeted. He is trying to get along, he may be made fun of at home, or ridicule is an outlet for his anger expressed in an inappropriate way.

   3. Understand the reasons why perpetrators make fun of female targets and sexually insult women. It is no accident that the word “slut” is used to offend and insult women. In fact, countless women have been recorded as targets of this problem throughout history!

      

      • At least since the Victorian era, western society has focused on the concept of the "Madonna whore" put forward by the educated. This concept is an absolute distinction between women who are good, pure, innocent, still virgins, and women who are despicable, dirty, and sexually active.
      • Of course, this is a ridiculous way of looking at humans, who are naturally sexual beings, but this thinking is entrenched in many cultures and still has an impact on the way we view and treat women today.

   4. Know that it's not just about sex. While terms that focus on female sexuality such as “whore” or “perek” are often used to demean women, they usually have a deeper and more cynical meaning that has nothing to do with sex at all.

      

      • This kind of ridicule to someone indicates that that person is not considered a good woman. The target of the ridicule does not belong to the larger society (“good people”). This term is used to indicate a strong rejection of the person.
      • You can fight this discriminatory treatment of women by not using any gender-related jokes, even in jest.

      Warning

      If you are being harassed at school or at work, tell your teacher, supervisor or boss about it

      1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-teen-age/201210/why-girls-call-each-other-sluts
      2. https://www.asanet.org/documents/press/pdfs/SPQ_June_2014_Elizabeth_Armstrong_News_Release.pdf
      3. https://www.asanet.org/documents/press/pdfs/SPQ_June_2014_Elizabeth_Armstrong_News_Release.pdf
      4. https://www.girlshealth.gov/bullying/
      5. https://www.ncpc.org/topics/bullying/girls-and-bullying
      6. https://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#
      7. https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/why-are-those-girls-so-mean/
      8. https://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#
      9. https://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#
      10. https://www.thehopeline.com/rebuild-a-bad-reputation/
      11. https://www.thehopeline.com/rebuild-a-bad-reputation/
      12. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/mean-girls-why-girls-bully-and-how-to-stop-them
      13. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/mean-girls-why-girls-bully-and-how-to-stop-them
      14. https://jrscience.wcp.muohio.edu/humannature01/ProposalArticles/SexChanges. EvolutionofFem.html

      15. https://jrscience.wcp.muohio.edu/humannature01/ProposalArticles/SexChanges. EvolutionofFem.html