Crying is a natural instinct. Crying is one of the first things babies do when they are born and humans often do it throughout their lives. By crying, you can communicate your feelings to others and some studies even show that by crying you signal to others about your need for social support. Crying can be an emotional or behavioral response to something you see, hear, or think. Sometimes you may feel like being alone to cry. This is natural, normal and can really help you let go of your feelings. However, crying that is too intense can be physically exhausting and can increase your heart rate and make you breathe faster. It's normal to feel the urge to cry when emotions run high. Fortunately, there are things you can do to stop crying.
Part 1 of 2: Finding Out Reasons Why You Want to Cry
Step 1. Calm yourself by breathing deeply
This may be difficult to do, especially when you're sobbing, but try your best to take a deep breath (through your nose if possible), hold it for a count of seven and slowly exhale for a count of 8. Do it 5 times. If you're sobbing a lot, you could hyperventilate which is very scary if your anxiety is very high. Try to breathe deeply several times a day or when you feel really stressed.
By breathing deeply, you can control hyperventilation and lower your heart rate, increase blood circulation and reduce stress
Step 2. Identify negative or sad thoughts
Many times you are constantly crying because you have sad or negative thoughts. You may think, "He's left me forever," or "I have no one…" When these thoughts occur, you may find it hard to identify them for fear of making the thoughts worse, but it's actually the first step. to gain control over your thoughts and tears.
If you can't do it right away, try recalling these thoughts when you've stopped crying
Step 3. Try to write down what annoys you
If you are too upset to write a good sentence, you are free to write anything. You can create a list of incomplete sentences, one page of one big word, or one full page of words that describe feelings. The purpose of this is to put your feelings and thoughts into writing so that you can feel a little relieved. After that, when you have calmed down, you can reflect and try to digest these thoughts and feelings.
For example, you could try writing something like, "It's so hard," "Hurt, betrayed, offended." By writing down what's bothering you, you're also helping yourself to have a conversation with someone who hurt you
Step 4. Try to physically distract yourself
To break the cycle of negative thoughts, try distracting yourself by tensing your muscles or holding an ice pack in your hand or placing it around your neck. Ideally, this will distract you from the thought long enough for you to regain your composure.
- You can also try to distract yourself with music. Move your body in rhythm to focus your attention and calm yourself down. You can also try singing along to a song to regain control of your breathing and focus.
- Try taking a walk. With a change in the scenery you see, you too can stop those annoying negative thoughts. Physical activity can also help you to reset your breathing and heart rate.
Step 5. Change your posture
Facial expressions and body posture have an effect on mood. If you find yourself frowning or slouching, this can make you feel even more negative. If possible, try to change it. Stand up and put your arms at your sides or you could try the "lion face-lemon face" acting technique where you make a fierce lion face and then turn it into a sour expression like you've just tasted a lemon.
Changing your posture can help cut the crying cycle long enough to regain your composure
Step 6. Try techniques to progressively relax the muscles
With this technique, you tense and relax several parts of your body. Start by flexing your muscles as hard as you can for about 5 seconds while inhaling. Then, quickly release the tension as you release your breath. Then, release the tension from your face. Then, tighten the neck and release. Then move to the chest, hands, and so on, down to the feet.
- Do this relaxation technique regularly to prevent stress from building up.
- This helps you know where you store your tension when you sob.
Step 7. Remind yourself, "This is only temporary
"Even if it feels permanent while it's happening, try to remind yourself that this moment will pass too. This moment is impermanent. This way you can see the bigger picture than the moment that made you sad.
Splash cold water on your face. The cold water will distract you for a moment so you can have control over your breathing. Cold water can also help relieve swelling (such as puffy eyes) that occurs after you sob
Part 2 of 2: Meditating on and Preventing the Need to Cry
Step 1. Ask yourself if this act of crying is a problem for you
Do you feel you cry too much? This information is subjective, but on average women cry 5.3 times per month while men cry 1.3 times per month. However, this act of crying varies from teary eyes to sobbing. Crying is not a problem if you do it often because of events in your life that are more emotional, such as the breakdown of a love relationship, the death of a loved one, or other events. If you're constantly sobbing out of control that it's affecting your personal or work life, then this could be considered a problem.
You will tend to get overwhelmed and find yourself in a cycle of negative or sad thoughts during these highly emotional times
Step 2. Think about why you are crying
If something happens in your life that makes you stressed or anxious, you are more likely to cry more often. For example, if you are grieving the loss of a loved one or are crying over the end of a relationship, crying is normal and understandable. However, sometimes life can overwhelm you and you may find yourself crying without understanding why you are actually crying.
In this case, excessive crying could be a sign of something more serious, such as depression or anxiety. If you find yourself crying more often without understanding why, you feel sad, useless or upset, start having pain or have trouble eating, have trouble sleeping or think about killing yourself, you may be experiencing depression. Try seeking medical help to find out what treatment options are available
Step 3. Try to identify the triggers that make you cry
Start by being aware of the situation that is causing you to have this crying problem and write down the problem. When does this sobbing problem usually appear? Are there certain days, situations, scenarios that trigger this intense crying? Is there something particular that triggers it?
For example, if listening to a certain band reminds you of your ex-partner, try removing the band from your regular playlist and avoiding listening to this sad-provoking music. Likewise with photos, smells, places, and so on. If you don't want to be exposed to things that will make you reminisce about the things that bring back these emotional waves, it's okay to avoid them for a while
Step 4. Start journaling
Write down any negative thoughts and try to ask yourself whether these thoughts are rational or not. Likewise, think about whether your ideal thoughts are rational and realistic. Remember to be kind to yourself. A good way to do this is to make a list of your accomplishments or things that make you happy. Try to think of your journal or diary as a record of the things you are grateful for.
Try to write in a journal or diary every day. Whenever you feel like crying, try reading what you've written and reminding yourself of the things that make you happy
Step 5. Try a self-evaluation
Ask yourself, "How do I deal with conflict?" Do you usually respond with anger? Tears? By ignoring it? If you get into the habit of allowing conflict to happen without ignoring it, it will usually end in an internal urge to cry out of control. Knowing how to respond to conflict can help you know what path to take.
Don't forget to ask yourself, "Who's in control?" Regain control of your life so you have the power to change the outcome. For example, instead of saying, "Teachers are mean and make me fail a test," admit that you didn't study enough to get a bad grade. Next time, try to focus on learning and accept the results
Step 6. Understand how thoughts affect your emotions and behavior
If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, it is as if you are harboring harmful emotions. You can relive negative and sad memories in the distant past, which may be the reason why you are crying all the time. This can lead to destructive behavior, including uncontrollable crying. Once you become aware of the impact your thoughts have on you, you can start changing your mindset to create more positive situations.
For example, if you keep thinking, "I'm not good enough," you may begin to feel helpless or insecure. Try to learn to stop them before they affect your emotional health
Step 7. Try to share your feelings
You can try sharing your feelings with close friends or family and telling them what's bothering you. Call them or ask them if they can meet over a cup of coffee. If you feel you have no one to talk to, if you are in the United States, you can try a hotline such as Samaritans, (212-673-3000).
If you find yourself crying a lot and feel you need help, a counselor can help you. A counselor can design something for you to regain better control of your mind
Step 8. Know what you should expect from a professional therapist
Try asking your doctor, checking the phone book, or asking a friend for recommendations for a good counselor or therapist. The counselor or therapist will ask why you want to join therapy. You could say, "I often cry uncontrollably and want to know why this is happening and how to control it." Or you could say, "I feel sad." The counselor will also start asking questions about what you're going through and your life story.
You and the therapist will discuss the goals of your therapy and make a plan for how to reach those goals
- When you feel like crying, try asking yourself, "Should I let it go? Am I in a situation where I might cry?" Sometimes crying is good for you and can help release your emotions, but it's not appropriate for all occasions.
- To prevent yourself from crying in public, try to raise your eyebrows as high as possible, as if you were surprised. It's hard for tears to come out in a position like this. You can also try yawning or chewing ice.
- Excessive crying can lead to dehydration which can make you dizzy. After you have calmed down a bit, you should drink a large glass of water.
- If you need to cool off, moisten a small towel with warm water and place it around your neck. When you've calmed down, soak a small towel in cold water and place it over your eyes or forehead to help you sleep and feel better.
- It's okay to cry to let go of feelings. Try going somewhere that allows you to be alone and cool off.
- Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger and let go of the things that are bothering you. Sharing your feelings with someone can give you a new perspective.
- Try to talk to yourself in a calm, soothing voice.
- You can try lying next to your pet. Maybe the animal can't give advice, but he won't judge either.
- Keep writing down your thoughts. When you have negative thoughts, try asking questions to evaluate your thoughts. Take the necessary steps to take control of those thoughts.
- Sometimes it's best to cry because you can't hold it in forever. You have to cry and let go of all your feelings. Try crying around a family member, friend, or someone close to you to make you feel comfortable.
- Tell yourself that you will be fine no matter what the situation is and that there are people who are willing to help you.
- Share what's bothering you with someone who will listen to you.