People you thought were friends at school or at work can actually ignore you. As social beings, these experiences tend to trigger deep disappointment. In addition, you may feel sad, confused, or even angry. However, these feelings can be overcome, for example by controlling emotions, taking a stand, and finding solutions.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Controlling Emotions
Step 1. Consider the possibility that this problem was not intentional
Sometimes, the waiver is done unintentionally. This just happens not to hurt other people's feelings.
For example: you feel neglected because the letter you sent did not arrive or the message you typed was not delivered, resulting in a misunderstanding. It's also possible that you feel neglected by your friend because at that time he was confused and he was very sorry for ignoring you
Step 2. Acknowledge the emotions you feel
You will feel a variety of negative emotions because of being neglected, for example: at first you will feel sad and then angry or jealous. These feelings are normal and will go away on their own. Instead of denying the emotions that arise, give yourself time to feel them.
Step 3. Tell someone how you feel
Feelings will lessen once you tell your parents, a good friend, or someone you can trust. Explain what happened and tell honestly how you feel.
- Friends who have been neglected may share their experiences and provide suggestions for dealing with this problem.
- If you often feel neglected and the condition triggers stress, consult a mental health professional. If you are still in school, discuss this with the counselor at the school. Find a therapist when you graduate.
Step 4. Write down the emotions you feel
Journaling has many benefits for physical and emotional health. This method helps you understand how you are feeling, reduces stress, and improves problem-solving skills.
Start journaling by preparing an agenda or notebook and then write down your experiences a few minutes a day. As a first sentence when you start journaling, tell what you're going through and feeling
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Ignorance
Step 1. Show sympathy for the person who ignored you
While this experience may be painful, it's good to consider what the person who is ignoring you is going through is going through. Maybe he ignores you because he wants to deal with personal problems and worries, rather than because of you.
- Anxiety and judgmental habits make it difficult for many people to socialize properly. This makes them distance themselves so that they seem to ignore other people.
- In addition, abandonment occurs because they want to control other people who are perceived as threats.
Step 2. Change negative thoughts
It's normal to have negative thoughts when experiencing unpleasant events, for example when someone ignores you. However, try to control your emotions by challenging and changing negative thoughts.
For example: feeling left out, you might say to yourself, "Everyone doesn't want to be friends with me anymore!" This statement is certainly untrue and unrealistic because you are overreacting. Change negative thoughts by telling yourself: "I am a good person and can be a good friend. The people closest to me always feel happy when interacting with me."
Step 3. Don't show disappointment when you meet people who ignore you
If it's unintentional, it's best not to express negative emotions. Bullies usually try to provoke negative emotions by ignoring them. Therefore, do not let you look emotional even though his attitude is very annoying. Bullies get what they want when you show your disappointment at being ignored. Instead, act as if you weren't bothered at all by his actions.
For example: if he doesn't invite you to his birthday party or other weekend event, tell him about a fun thing you did with your family. If someone tells you about a party, say, "You had a great weekend. I didn't know there was a party yesterday, but I was hanging out with my family. What other things do you do on the weekends?"
Step 4. Ask to find out the truth
If you feel neglected and want to know why, it's best to talk to the person directly. This way, you can determine if it was really unintentional or if his behavior was simply unacceptable.
- If he doesn't mean to, you can say, "There seems to be a problem sending your birthday invitations. I didn't accept the invitation."
- If someone is ignoring you on purpose, tell them, "I know I wasn't invited to your birthday party. Since you're the host, you have the right to choose who to invite. I just wanted to know why I wasn't invited."
Method 3 of 3: Troubleshooting
Step 1. Forgive people who ignore you
Forgiveness is a way of dealing with problems that is more beneficial to yourself than to the other person. Holding on to disappointment in the person who hurt you will cost you and your life. Therefore, try to forgive him so that you can live a calm and happy life even if he does not want to forgive you.
Write him a letter, but don't send it. When writing a letter, express how you feel and let him know that you are willing to forgive him for his own good
Step 2. Make new friends
If you continue to feel neglected by a group of people, it may be time to find a new community. True friends will not ignore you. Look for people who will accept you for who you are and won't hurt your feelings, for example by isolating you.
Join an interest-based community or sports team outside of school hours to get to know people who share common interests
Step 3. Invite friends to do activities together
Another way you don't feel left out is to invite your friends to do activities with you, for example: hanging out at the mall or watching a movie on the weekends. Also, throw a party at your house and invite friends, including people who have neglected you.
Step 4. Enjoy solitude
Even if you feel disappointed that you've been left out, consider spending time alone as a luxury that can be enjoyed to the fullest. If you feel neglected and have free time, do the things you want to do alone.
