A healthy relationship gives you and your partner the opportunity to express yourself, achieve your best, and develop yourself. In order to have a positive, healthy, and fun relationship, start by building a strong foundation from the start. For that, learn how to communicate well and be respectful by reading this article.
Part 1 of 3: Communicating Well
Step 1. Share your thoughts
If there's something you want or expect from your partner, tell them directly because they can't read or know for themselves what you're thinking. You're being unfair to yourself and your partner if there's something you want from your partner, but keep quiet. So let your partner know if something is bothering you.
If you're not sure what to say, start the conversation by saying, "I'm thinking about something. Can I tell you something?" or "If you don't mind, I'd like to have a chat because something's bothering me."
Step 2. Learn to listen well
An important aspect of having a healthy relationship is knowing when to talk and when to listen. Learn to listen to the other person without interrupting the conversation by allowing your partner to fully explain what he or she is thinking and feeling. Listen to his explanation wholeheartedly and don't respond if he's still talking.
Make active use of listening skills by trying to understand his feelings and speech. For example, "I want to confirm what you just said. I think I disappointed you by not letting you know what time you'll be home last night. I understand I've worried you. than usual."
Step 3. Define proper boundaries
Before starting a relationship, you need to set boundaries so that both parties respect each other and understand each other's expectations. So, boundaries are not to curb. If your partner's attitude makes you uncomfortable, explain this and then discuss what both parties need to change and do for change to occur. If one of you wants to see each other often and the other doesn't, set limits on how much time you need to set aside for each other and how much time you need to work alone.
- For example, set boundaries in aspects of sexuality (eg not having sex before marriage) and social life (eg allocating one night a week for hanging out or activities with friends).
- Don't let your partner control you and don't control your partner. Setting boundaries means respecting each other and making agreements so that the relationship can work well.
Step 4. Speak clearly
Relationships will be very problematic if the two of you are not able to communicate clearly. Tell your partner if there is anything you want or need. Do not use gestures or talk just to please your partner, even though you are against it yourself. Use the words "I" or "I" to express feelings, make observations, or give opinions. This helps you express yourself clearly and straightforwardly and shows that you are able to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings by not blaming or judging other people.
In order to communicate well, say to your partner, "I think/feel/want….when…..because….” For example, "I was annoyed when you came in and left the door open because the room got cold and windy."
Step 5. Express your feelings
Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner while anticipating the emotions that arise. Try to understand your partner's feelings and be supportive when he or she is experiencing a stressful issue. Establish an emotional connection with him so that you can empathize by understanding and feeling the things he is going through.
If you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner, ask him how he feels (without blaming or making assumptions). You will love your partner more if you are able to understand their feelings
Step 6. Get in the habit of interacting regularly with your partner
Set aside time to discuss matters of relevance to the relationship. Sometimes, you don't have time to interact or chat with your partner because there is a change in your routine or your schedule is getting tighter. Set aside time to discuss your goals in life and each other's expectations, because change can happen at any time. Relationships will be in trouble if you keep the unpleasant things to yourself.
- In order to have regular interactions, ask your partner, "Hi, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I'm afraid you're still upset because we had a fight yesterday. Do you agree with my proposed solution?"
- Ask your partner if the two of you are in a relationship with the same goals. Be detailed about what you want and make sure you both have the same expectations, such as when it comes to dating, sexuality, marriage, parenting, or moving house plans.
Part 2 of 3: Have Mutual Respect
Step 1. Start a relationship with mutual respect
New relationships are usually a lot of fun, but both of you should still respect each other. Show respect for your partner so that he also appreciates you. Even if you're upset, still respect him.
- Remember that your partner's wishes, thoughts, and feelings deserve respect. When talking to your partner, show that you value their feelings. Mutual respect plays an important role in establishing a healthy relationship.
- Discuss ways of appreciating each other. Decide what you can and can't do, such as insulting or making a sensual touch.
- Make an agreement about the rules to apply if the two of you get into a fight:
- Don't say words that demean your partner
- Don't blame others
- Don't yell
- Don't use violence
- Don't talk about divorce/separation
- Don't assume what other people think/experience/feel
- Don't talk about past things
- Don't interrupt
- Pause the discussion for a while if needed
Step 2. Be respectful
Feeling valued is one indicator of a healthy relationship. If done continuously, the little things that are positive will support the establishment of a healthy relationship. Don't forget to say "thank you" to your partner for their kindness. Focus on the positive things he does, instead of focusing on his flaws. Whenever you feel cared for by your partner, express your feelings and give them appreciation.
- Ask what makes your partner feel valued. Is it when you send love letters, birthday cards, or say "thank you"?
- Tell your partner what makes you feel appreciated. For example, "I'm glad you appreciate the things I do for you."
Step 3. Spend quality time together
Lately, most of the time used to communicate verbally has turned into digital communication. This can lead to misunderstanding or loss of verbal communication. By setting aside time to see each other more often, the relationship will deepen and the two of you will feel closer.
- Decide on an activity that the two of you can do together on a regular basis, perhaps drinking coffee or reading a book at night.
- Another way that is more exciting and fun is looking for new experiences. Instead of going to extremes, start with the mundane. For example, having dinner at a new restaurant or cooking a new recipe.
Step 4. Give your partner some leeway
Remember that we can't demand that other people get everything we need or give all of their time to us. Give your partner a chance to get together with friends and family while having fun. Everyone needs to get together and do activities with their respective friends without involving a partner. Even if you want to be alone when you're just starting out in a relationship, respect the freedom to work alone as this isn't a negative thing in a relationship. Support your partner so he can maintain good friendships with his friends.
Don't ignore old friends or force your partner to stay away from their friends. Appreciate old friends and the emotional support they provide. Don't let your partner determine whether or not you can gather with your family
Step 5. Be prepared for change
Remember that relationships can change. Give yourself, your partner, and your current relationship a chance to change. Realize that change gives you and your partner the opportunity to experience growth. Accept the fact that change is inevitable and that you are both able to adapt.
If there are changes, don't panic and try to deal with them one by one
Part 3 of 3: Fixing Unhealthy Relationships
Step 1. Consult a therapist
If you are caught in an unhealthy relationship and want to fix it, ask your partner to consult a therapist. Ask a therapist to help you both communicate well and stop negative behaviors that are difficult to deal with when interacting with your partner, such as yelling, blaming, ignoring, and making assumptions. Professional therapists can help you deal with emotional disturbances, improve behavior, and change the way you view your relationship. Consulting a therapist shows that you are both willing to work together to improve the relationship, not to break it off.
If you need more information, check out the wikiHow How to Tell If You Need a Marriage Counselor
Step 2. Free yourself from codependencies
When in a relationship, codependent people will behave negatively by supporting or allowing their partner to be irresponsible, immature, addicted, or sickly. Codependent people will feel guilty if they do not support their partner even though this is bad for both parties. Codependency is usually triggered by childhood experiences of having to suppress feelings (not daring to express desires or choosing silence so as not to fight) and not being able to refuse other people's requests.
- You will both be isolated from the community and lose friends.
- Learn what codependency means and then begin to see if you (or your partner) are self-deprecating. Consider the possibility of consulting a therapist who is able to provide consultations individually or with a partner.
- Read the wikiHow How to Determine If You're Codependent for more information.
Respect your partner's privacy.
Being in a relationship doesn't mean spending time together all the time or telling your partner everything. Respect your partner's desire for privacy and independence. If jealousy arises, remember that these feelings may not have anything to do with your partner's actions.
- Don't ask your partner to share their email or account passwords on social media. Respect his privacy and trust him.
- Monitoring your partner's behavior all the time is not the way to have a healthy relationship. This could be due to jealousy or a desire to control your partner which will damage the relationship.
Read the wikiHow How to Recognize a Potentially Violent Relationship for more information