Texting or chatting on the phone can be a fun and subtle way to get to know a girl, especially if you don't see her very often. However, getting his number and knowing what to say can be difficult. Keep reading this article to find out how to be a great person on the phone.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Sending him a Message
Step 1. Get the phone number
This may seem like the most difficult step, but it is important! If he's given his number, you can assume he's open to texting. Here are a few different tips for doing this:
- Do not ask for the number in a creepy way. It's a good idea to avoid coming off as a stalker, so try a subtle method of getting the phone number. You can ask her friends for it, look it up online, or some other clever way. The phone number is private information, and he has the right to only give it to the people he wants.
- Use excuses. Don't worry, he might actually know you used that excuse to get his number, but he might be willing to give it anyway! If you're out and about, try asking for her number so everyone can coordinate plans. If you're in the same class, try asking if she'd like to exchange phone numbers if she ever needs to ask about homework or assignments.
- "Exchange" phone number. Give him your phone number and then say "What's your number?" or "Sorry, I don't think I have your number."
- Ask directly. If you don't have a reason, don't bother because you can ask for it directly. Try to be casual while doing this and you might start by saying, "Hey, can I text you sometime?" or you can simply say, "May I have your number?" This strategy should work if you do it after a fun date or have just had good interactions.
Step 2. Find a good time to send the first message
If you send the message too quickly, you will appear desperate. But if you wait too long, you'll come across as disinterested. So, when is the right time? There's no right answer, but keep the following points in mind:
- Wait at least one day. Asking for her number in the afternoon and sending a message right away at night can be intimidating and for some women this "crazy" impression can be "creepy". It's not easy waiting, but it never hurts to try.
- Pick a time when it's most likely for him to reciprocate. Don't send her the first message when she may be at work or school, or too busy to reply. Instead, try texting around 8pm on a weekday. On the weekends, you can try any time except at night because he might be out with his friends.
Step 3. Re-introduce yourself
Don't assume he'll know who you are right away.
- If you both know each other well, you can simply say names like, "Hello Anna, this is Joni. How are you tonight?:)".
- If you're new to her, you might want to add a little detail like, "Hello Anna, this is Joni. Nice to chat with you last Tuesday."
Step 4. Small talk
Texting is the perfect medium for small talk, so make the most of it! Don't bother thinking about really deep and interesting topics when you're first texting a girl because your willingness to chat with her and pay attention to the mundane details of her life is enough for now.
- Ask how the day was. This question is so simple and can open the door to further conversation.
- Bring up something that was discussed the last time you saw him. This could be a joke only the two of you understand, a shared interest, or continuing a previous conversation.
- Ask his interest. Most people feel comfortable talking about themselves, so try to make things easier for her by asking her what she likes. For example, you could ask him what he usually does in his free time or if he has a hobby. If you already know what interests him, ask him to tell you more. For example, "You said that you liked horse riding. I'm completely blind to horse riding, would you like to tell me why you like it?"
Step 5. End the conversation quickly
Leaving before the conversation gets boring helps him to continue to have a good impression of you. In addition, you will not be too stressed because you are busy thinking about what other topics to talk about. When you feel like the conversation is starting to lose steam, end it gently.
Tell him that you enjoy exchanging messages with him. When ending the conversation, try to be positive. Say something like, "This was fun, huh. I wanted to chat with you again."
Step 6. Organize the next conversation
Let him know that you will message again when you end the current conversation. Let him know that you'd like to learn more about his interests in the next conversation, or that you can't wait to chat with him again. You can also say "Shall we talk again tomorrow?"
Step 7. In the second conversation, you can open it with a compliment (optional)
If the first exchange of messages went well, try to be brave and compliment him in the second conversation. This is a quick way to make him feel special and let him know that you are interested in him.
Praise him in the foreword. "Hello beautiful" is a short, simple sentence, and to the point. Or, maybe you want to play with words more. try saying "How is my favorite girl doing this Tuesday?"
Method 2 of 2: Calling her
Step 1. Get the phone number
This may seem like the most difficult step, but it is important! If he's given his number, you can assume he's open to texting. Here are a few different tips for doing so:
- Do not ask for the number in a creepy way. It's a good idea to avoid coming off as a stalker, so try a subtle method of getting the phone number. You can ask her friends for it, look it up online, or some other clever way. The phone number is private information, and he has the right to only give it to the people he wants.
- Use excuses. Don't worry, he might actually know you used that excuse to get his number, but he might be willing to give it anyway! If you're out and about, try asking for her number so everyone can coordinate plans. If you're in the same class, try asking if she'd like to exchange phone numbers if she ever needs to ask about homework or assignments.
- "Exchange" phone number. Give him your phone number and then say "What's your number?" or "Sorry, I don't think I have your number."
- Ask directly. If you don't have a reason, don't bother because you can ask for it directly. Try to be casual while doing this and you might start by saying, "Hey, can I text you sometime?" or you can simply say, "May I have your number?" This strategy should work if you do it after a fun date or have just had a good interaction.
Step 2. Call him at the right time
Timing can determine a good call and a bad call. Calling at the right time can make you appear confident and interested in him and increase your chances of calling him at the right time.
- Wait a day or two. If you call him too soon, you'll come across as desperate, while if you call him late, you'll appear disinterested. Give him a day or two to think about whether you should call him so that he becomes even more interested.
- Call him at night. If you call him during the day when he's busy at work or at school, it's going to be awkward because he might respond in such a hurry that you don't know if he's interested or not. Instead, try calling him around 7 or 8 pm. By that time he might have finished dinner and/or done his homework so he could have a little chat.
Step 3. Try to relax
Before picking up the phone, take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself down. Don't let yourself mumble and speak incoherently because you're nervous. Try to practice speaking at a reasonable speed and keep the tone of voice clear and cheerful.
Look for privacy. If you're really nervous, try calling her from a closed place. You can also feel less worried because no one else can hear what you are saying or disrupt your concentration
Step 4. Practice good telephone etiquette
How you respond to a telephone conversation can show how polite you are and how nervous you are.
- If someone else answers the phone, say, "Hello, can you talk to [his name]?" The person who answers may ask who you are. All you have to do is answer your name or other names and details ("This is Joni, we're in the same class for Spanish.") If she's not around, respond calmly and ask if you can leave your number so she can call you back..
- If he answers, try saying something like, "Hey [his name]! This is Joni, you gave me your number last Tuesday." Re-introducing yourself like this may be a little awkward, but this must be done so that he immediately knows who is calling him.
Step 5. Try small, casual chat
How is his day, homework, work, friends and interests can be perfect topics. Don't worry too much about discussing such a deep and complex topic, because all you have to show him right now is how interested he is in his opinion and want to get to know him better.
- Keep the conversation focused on him. Many people feel comfortable talking about themselves because the topic is so familiar to them. So, ask him what he's interested in, what he thinks about what's been going on recently, how his day was, and so on. Make this conversation easy for him by asking about something you already know he likes like "I know you like watercolor painting, I wanted to know more about it."
- Ask how the day was. Maybe he needs someone to share what happened to him.
- Bring up something you discussed the last time you saw him. This could be a joke that only the two of you know, a common interest, or continuing that last conversation.
Step 6. Know the right time to end the call
It's better to have a conversation on the phone too short rather than too long because you don't want to bore him! Stopping the conversation while it's still lively and fun can help you avoid awkward silences and make them impatient to talk to you again. If you feel silence for 3 seconds, it means it's time to end the conversation.
End with a compliment. Saying something like, "This was so much fun, huh! It would be great if we could talk again sometime," can tell her that you didn't end the conversation because something was wrong
Step 7. Give it a few days before you call again
Even if you really want to talk to him as soon as possible, try to wait. Expecting him to talk to you every day gives the impression that you are putting pressure on him because that level of intimacy is usually reserved for people who are already in a serious relationship. But you can try calling him once or twice a week and see if he starts calling you too!
Tips
- If you're contacting him on the phone, try asking him a question that will allow him to respond in more than one word. This can keep the conversation flowing and give you more time to think about the next topic.
- Keep in mind that text messages don't really communicate emotions, especially humor that isn't outspoken. You can get around this by adding ":D", but remember that he can't hear you or see your body language. If you're afraid something might be misinterpreted, don't send the message.
- Don't invite him over to watch TV or movies if you haven't met him before because he might think you're expecting something from him.
- Don't call or text very late. He may think you expect nothing from him and this can offend most women who value him.
- The best way to connect with a woman is to exchange text messages and this communication method can be useful for building emotional connections. The advantage of sending a text message is that it provokes emotion by showing a less serious attitude and he will feel happy about this. However, relationships can be meaningful and besides that, exchanging text messages can be fun.
- If you call him and his voicemail is answered, what should you leave a message for? Before the age of cell phones and caller ID, you couldn't have to leave messages. However, in this day and age it is possible that he knows you called him and therefore you should leave a message. Remember to mention your phone number because there's a good chance he won't be able to find your number.
- If he says no, give him some time.
- These tips were created for calling by phone or sending a text message for the first time. If you've already chatted with him, hopefully you don't need further advice.
- Calling and sending messages is fun!
