Do you want to make the girl you like your best friend forever (BFF for short)? If so, you should work on introducing yourself, making the girl feel good about herself, and creating lasting and meaningful friendships; without putting too much pressure on it. If you act right, you will soon have a new best friend.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Getting His Attention
Step 1. See if you can learn a few things about him before you approach him
If you know a few things about the girl before you talk to her-you don't have to stalk her too much-it can help you start a conversation. Without looking too obvious, you can ask a few people who know the woman to learn about her personality, or even take a look at her Facebook profile so you can get some ideas about her. This can give him more topics to casually mention or lead you to start your first conversation with him.
Don't mention that you've asked people or researched their Facebook profiles. Don't let him think you're paying too much attention to him
Step 2. Introduce yourself
The first thing you should do to cultivate a friendship is to introduce yourself to him. Don't be too aggressive or act like you really want to be friends with the girl. Say hello to him, tell him your name, and ask how he's doing. Make sure you introduce yourself at the right time, when he's not busy or worried about anything, and act casual.
- Say something like “Hello, I'm Sarah. Pleased to meet you. What's your name?" and continue the conversation from there.
- Don't ask too many questions or immediately tell him too much about yourself or he will get confused. Just relax and give your friendship time to develop.
- Find some time when the girl is alone so you can get her attention. If you try to talk to him when he's with too many people, you won't leave a strong impression.
Step 3. Ask questions about her
Once you start talking to him, you can start asking questions about him so you can get to know him. In fact, when you want to make friends, it's more important to show interest than trying to be attractive. Instead of worrying about grabbing his attention with all your funny jokes or cool stories, focus on showing interest in who he is. Just make sure he asks again so he doesn't feel like he's being interrogated. Here are some things you can ask him:
- Hobby
- His family
- His favorite TV shows, actors, musicians and movies
- Summer plans
- The pet
Step 4. Be a little open
Once you and she start talking more, tell the girl about yourself so you two can really get to know each other better. You don't have to tell everything at once, but once you feel more comfortable, share things you care about or want. While you can also complain a little, you should focus on being more positive the first time you talk, so that he's more likely to want to continue spending time with you. Here are some things you can tell him:
- your brother
- Your favorite activity after school is over
- Favorite things you do with friends
- Your favorite food
- Your most interesting experiences
- Anything unique in your past
Step 5. Give him a compliment
While you don't have to flatter or flatter him, complimenting him can help both of you become better friends. Pick something that makes him stand out or is important to him and tell the girl so she feels good about herself. This doesn't have to be something very personal because you don't know each other very well yet; in fact, a simple compliment can be a great conversation starter. Here are some compliments you can try:
- “I like your brooch-it looks cool. Is that your family's legacy?”
- “Your sweater is great. I don't think I can wear pink like that, but you look good on the color.”
- “You are very good at getting along with new people. Surely you can start a conversation with everyone.”
Step 6. Analyze his personality
Once you get to know him better, you'll start to realize who he is. Maybe he is the more shy type, or maybe he is open and fun but his mood changes quickly at times. While you need to stay true to yourself, you need to be aware of his personality so you can figure out the best way to build a friendship with him.
- If he's the type of person whose mood changes quickly, don't take it to heart if he's happy and then immediately angry; don't assume it's your fault. Know that it will soon pass.
- If he's more shy, you should know that it will take him a little longer to start trusting you. Be patient and don't force her to become your BFF right away.
- If he has a unique trait, you should explore that unique part of yourself. Invite him to do something out of the ordinary, like going to a music festival or making his own sushi, instead of doing something more mundane, like taking a walk at the mall.
Step 7. Take her for a casual walk
Once you get to know him better, you can start spending more time together. If you've had a good chat with her a few times and feel like you two get along, you can make an effort to spend more time with her. You should take her to low-stakes gathering situations, such as a party you're hosting, or going to the movies, so you're not forced to talk all the time; if you took her for a hike or a weekend trip before getting to know her well, you might have a hard time finding common ground with her.
- You could say something like, “Hey, I know you like Lily Allen-she's having a concert here in a few weeks, I'm going to see it with some friends. Do you want to come along?"
- You could also say, “Would you like to study together for the history exam later? I find it hard to focus when I study alone…”
- Just be casual and don't put too much pressure on him. Say something like “Here's my number. Maybe we can go together on the weekend.”
Part 2 of 3: Developing Deeper Friendships
Step 1. Check the news
As you and the girl get to know each other better, you will become a regular part of each other's lives. If you want your relationship to be deeper and more fulfilling, you should ask how he's doing from time to time. You can pray for him before an important test or ask him how he ended up playing a football game he watched; let him see that you care about him, without having to delve into every little detail in his life.
- Make sure he also asks how you are. If you feel like you're always the only one calling or texting, you'll need to step back a bit to strike a balance.
- Check on him to see how he's feeling, especially if he's had a bad day. It shows that you care about him more than you care about yourself, and that you are someone who deserves to be known more.
Step 2. Don't put too much pressure on him to continue spending time with you
When you're just getting to know your new friend, you shouldn't be in a rush to ask him to spend time with you. Once or twice a week after school should be enough to develop your friendships. Once you get into a slow steady routine, you'll probably start to be together more often, but if you start asking him to spend time each day when you two just met, he may feel pressured and leave you.
- Don't be the only one who always invites you to travel. He should also invite you to spend time with him.
- You can start by spending time in a group and then doing something just the two of you, like drinking a froyo or taking a yoga class.
- Once you get to know each other, your time with him won't feel as planned and you'll be able to spend time with just one activity.
Step 3. Don't be jealous of his other friends
If you want to build stronger friendships, you need to get to know your potential best friend's friends instead of forgetting them. Sure, you might want this new friend just for yourself, but if you make fun of his friends or refuse to get to know them, you're going to have a hard time spending time with him in a group. Instead of doing this, you should really make an effort to get to know her friends so you can be a part of their group rather than just spending time with the girl alone all the time.
- If you are mean or cold towards their friends, they will tell them to stay away from you. Try your best to make a good impression, and they will want to spend more time with you.
- Also, if you put pressure on his friends, you will appear insecure and unhappy about your friendship.
Step 4. Don't try to copy it
As your friendship deepens, you should like to do other things with your new friend and get to know him on a more personal level. However, don't try to act like him just to get his attention. A lot of girls start doing this the moment they meet a woman they think is cool, but you have to stay true to yourself and accept your new friend for who they are.
- You don't have to start dressing like him, acting like him, imitating the way he talks to get closer to him. In fact, doing this can make him worry about you.
- If other people tell you that you're acting more and more like your new friend, try focusing on emphasizing your own interests and personality.
Step 5. Find what you have in common with him
As you get to know each other better, you should be able to strengthen this relationship with the things you share with him. You may notice that your favorite TV shows are the same, you share the same political views, love to write creatively, or have a unique sense of humor. These things can help your friendship grow stronger because of common interests, and the two of you can do more together.
- But don't worry too much if you don't think you have much in common with him. Sometimes the most important thing is your disposition. If you share her approach to the world, even if you don't share many interests, it can still help you develop a strong friendship with her.
- You can also introduce each other's favorite things to strengthen the friendship. Your new friend might want to try a dance class with you, and you might like the Nicki Minaj concert you attended with her.
Step 6. Help each other
Another way to grow friendships is to help each other when you need extra support. This help could be in the form of making lunch for your friend when he or she is busy, asking for a ride to school when you need it, or calling each other when you need emotional support. True friends help each other and will be there to make each other feel more capable and stronger.
- Your friend may not always be able to acknowledge when she needs help. However, if you can clearly see that he's struggling and needs support, don't be shy about giving it to him as long as he's not bothered by it.
- Make sure you guys help each other by taking turns. You can't be the only one who's always helping and don't let her feel like you're just using her.
Step 7. Get to know friends and family members
If you start to get very close to him, you should try to be a part of those aspects of his life. If you're at his house, you should talk to his parents so they know you're a good influence on his child, and try to be friendly to his siblings, even if they're younger. If his friends are around him a lot, try to get to know them and treat them as if they were your friends too. Show interest in them.
- If you really can't get along with the family, don't make a big deal about it. Try to stay as friendly as possible.
- You can also introduce your friends to your family and other friends, so that you two are more involved in each other's lives.
Step 8. Make sure he respects himself
One of the most important things you can do as a potential BFF is to make your friend feel like she's amazing, attractive, beautiful, and deserves to be known. Give him genuine compliments, cheer him on when he has the big moment, and tell him everything that makes him unique and charming. If he's having a bad day, write a note about how great he is; if he just broke up, invite him to watch a soap opera and listen to him complain when he cries.
- Your friends will look to you for support and you shouldn't make them feel fat, stupid, or worse than you are. Cheer him up and strengthen your friendship.
- Of course, do not let you pamper him with excessive affection. Keep flattering him as long as he does the same for you.
Part 3 of 3: Be the Best Friend
Step 1. Do new things together
One thing you can do together is try something new and interesting, which you've always wanted to do. This could be climbing a mountain, going on a speed date together, taking a trip to Portland, or taking a belly dance class. Think of something fun that both of you have wanted for a long time, then try to do that activity with your new friend so you can do something fun together as your relationship grows closer.
Who knows, if you really like something you've just tried, it could become a "tradition" that you'll always keep with it. You could be developing a new habit without even realizing it
Step 2. Make sure you are there for him too on his dark days
True friends don't just travel together when they're in the best of moods. They are also there for each other in moments that involve tears, just as when they are there in times of laughter. If your friend is having a bad day, you should be there to support her, listen to her problems, and offer advice when she asks. Supporting your new friend when he needs it the most will help your relationship grow stronger than ever.
- If something is wrong but he doesn't want to talk about it, you should let your friend know that you'll be there when he's ready to talk. Don't force it.
- Your best friend should also be there in your darkest moments. Your support network will grow stronger with him by your side.
Step 3. Give each one personal space
You can be his best friend without having to spend every moment together. Make sure you and the person still maintain separate friendships and have time to study, for family, and to pursue personal interests. You don't have to spend time together to be close friends, and in fact, your relationship will be more interesting if you spend more time alone. That way, you can share experiences with each other.
- Don't let your friends feel that they are limited by you. Let him do his own thing without always asking what he will do. If he goes out with other friends, you don't have to always go either.
- Taking the time to pursue your own hobbies, whether writing songs or learning French, will help you grow as an individual apart from your friends.
Step 4. Make time for each other unconditionally
Even though your life will change and become more complicated as you get older, if you want to continue to be best friends, you must always make time to talk and be together, even if you can't do it as often as you used to. Even if you live in a different country, you should still be able to talk on the phone or text or email at least a few times a month, and see them at least once a year if possible.
Your connection has to be so strong that you don't have to see each other to stay close. However, if you really care, you should make an effort to include your best friend in your life
Step 5. Learn to grow together
You two will no longer be the same person as when you first met. You will start new relationships, find new hobbies, change careers, move to a new place, or go through a million other maturing rituals as you get older. However, your friendship will last, even if the characters change, and you shouldn't be disappointed if your best friend no longer likes Miley Cyrus or if she no longer wants to watch the same TV shows as you, or talk about the same things; instead of being disappointed, you should respect him for who he is as he gets older, just as he should respect you for who you are.
- Be open to changes in your best friend's life. Don't be frustrated if you think he's no longer the person you used to know.
- Your best friend also has to accept who you are. You don't always have to share political views or favorite food, and you should feel comfortable discussing those changes with him.
Step 6. Don't push too hard
While everyone wants the perfect best friend they can trust, you may find that this girl you don't know isn't really going to be your best friend. Maybe you really don't get along with him, maybe you just can't find time to get to know each other, or maybe your personalities are too different to have a conversation without arguing with him. Either way, if you really feel like he's never going to be your true best friend, or even your friend, you should forget about it and try to find another girl who suits you better.
You don't have to completely forget the girl just because you don't think she's the right BFF. You can still be friends with him or develop a casual relationship. After all, there are never too many words when it comes to making friends
Tips
- Find what you have in common with him. Maybe you both play sports or play the same instrument. Join his team, ask if you can attend his club meeting. Do something so you can be around him more often.
- Talk to him. While this may be stressful, he should know that you are there. You don't need to talk for long (this will happen later), say a short 'Hi!' or 'How are you?'. Say something that lets him know you want to get to know him, and listen to his response.
- Offer help. This will vary depending on the situation, as you certainly don't want to be his "slave," but make sure he knows that you will be there for him.
- Show him what you can do for him. This doesn't mean you have to flaunt all the trophies you've got, forget these things in conversation. Show him your talent. Try to impress him so he still wants to be your friend and not the other way around.
- Start an online chat session. This is often easier than having a face-to-face conversation, and just asking about science and technology PR can let him know you're interested.
