Ex-spouse hurt and humiliated you? It's natural for one of your natural responses to want to get back at him; especially since humans tend to find pleasure in imagining the vengeance they can take against the person who has offended them. If your feelings are really hurt, there's nothing wrong with "retaliating" for his actions as long as your revenge is still within a reasonable corridor. However, understand that often times, taking revenge will only make an already bad situation worse. Believe me, the best revenge is when you are willing to improve yourself and move on with life better without it. In other words, your happiness is the best revenge!
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Part 1 of 3: Plotting Minor Revenge
Step 1. Post silly photos of your ex to their social media pages
But remember, don't post inappropriate photos or seriously embarrass your partner. Just send her a photo of her in a weird or ugly pose to piss her off a bit.
- Browse old photos that you still have. Has he ever looked really chubby or posed really weird in a photo? Collect the photos and post them on your ex's social media pages.
- Send the photos to their active social media pages. If the two of you are still friends on Facebook, try posting the photo on your social media pages and tagging it with your ex's name.
Step 2. Register the email address to receive spam
If you save the email address, you can register it to receive annoying spam like daily horoscopes. But remember, don't use this service to do illegal things like collect personal information of ex-partners!
You can also give the email address to a fitness center that often sends promotions to customer email addresses. If the lingerie store asks for your email address, you can also provide your ex's email address. Sooner or later, you will fill his inbox with irrelevant promotions
Step 3. Try flirting with some of his friends
If you still run into your ex at various social events, try approaching and flirting with some of his male friends. Trust me, this behavior will make him jealous and insecure. Try doing things that could be associated with flirting, such as touching the guy's arm while smiling and looking him in the eye.
Be careful, this activity is fun; but don't go too far and give hope to people you don't like
Step 4. Try doing a prank call
A prank call is an example of a fun revenge attempt that won't hurt your ex-spouse directly. For example, ask your friend to pretend to be a credit card agent who wants to collect the arrears. You can also do it yourself by pretending to be an agent for an electric company that will stop electrical service at an ex-spouse's house.
Try not to laugh and keep the atmosphere as quiet as possible when your friend is contacting your ex. Make sure he doesn't realize that you're teasing him
Step 5. Embarrass her in front of her new partner
If he's caught dating someone new, do something to embarrass him. You can go straight to him and tell him about the embarrassing things he left in your house. You can also pretend to politely introduce yourself as an attempt to embarrass your ex.
Don't be rude or disrespectful to people you don't know. Remember, it is the ex-partner who is hurting you, not the new partner. Don't take your anger out on someone who doesn't deserve it
Step 6. Ignore him
This is the easiest way to hurt your ex. If he's still trying to contact or befriend you, try ignoring him. Don't reply to his texts, emails, and calls. He's likely to realize that you're angry and haven't forgiven him for what he did.
Remove ex-spouse accounts from your social media. Most people would feel humiliated if they were removed from the friends list of people who once loved them
Step 7. Make sure he understands the reason behind your anger
Your revenge attempts will not work if he doesn't understand the reason behind your anger; especially since revenge should be able to make the person aware that he or she has hurt you. Explain everything clearly so that your revenge efforts are not in vain.
- There are many ways you can make him understand your actions. For example, you can tell them directly by saying, "I didn't reply to your messages because you hurt me."
- If you don't want to talk to her, try writing down how you feel on social media where she's more likely to read about it.
Part 2 of 3: Living Life Well
Step 1. Consider whether revenge is the right move
Do you really need revenge? Before taking any action, think carefully about your motivation. What benefits do you think you will get after doing it?
- Often times, seeking revenge will only make – not improve – the situation. If you decide to turn your back on your ex, you are likely to be weighed down by feelings of emptiness, sadness, or anger afterward.
- Think before act. Make sure you fully understand the situation to make sure your revenge attempt is worthwhile. Think carefully about whether you will feel happier after doing it.
- Try to accept the urge to seek revenge as natural. However, understand that "just thinking about it" is often much better than "actually doing it".
Step 2. Start exercising
Improving the quality of self after a breakup is one of the perfect revenge attempts! Realize your ex-spouse that you can be a better person after they leave. Exercise to improve your appearance and overall health.
- Choose a type of exercise that you can enjoy and pursue. If you like cycling, start cycling regularly at least a few times a week.
- Before trying any new exercise or diet program, make sure you consult with your doctor to make sure your body is fit enough to do so.
Step 3. Take good care of yourself
If you are trying to recover from a crushing pain, this step is important for you to do. Try to accept the emotions you are feeling and try to manage them in your own way.
- Allow yourself to experience and manage the emotions that arise. If you feel hurt, don't ignore the feeling. If you feel like crying, cry as much as you want.
- Do things that make you happy. Get out of the house and have fun with your friends. If possible, also visit your closest relatives.
- Sometimes, being happy is the most perfect form of revenge. Imagine how your ex-partner feels when she sees you still happy without her on your social media pages. Trust me, he will feel much more hurt by it.
Step 4. Focus on the present
Instead of living in the past, focus on living a good life in the present. Remember, you can't erase the past; the only thing you can do is make the most of the present.
- It is natural to drown in pain and sadness. But whenever you feel tempted to do so, try to slowly withdraw from the shadows of the past. Tell yourself, “That is part of my past. I'm ready to move forward and live my life better."
- Think about the positive things that are happening in your life. Focus on your hobbies, career, and social life. Don't be easily tempted by unimportant negative thoughts.
Step 5. Try to apologize
After recovering, try to forgive your ex-spouse; try to cover the past and move on with your life better.
- Remember, forgiving him is not the same as justifying his behavior. To forgive, you just need to admit that one bad action doesn't necessarily make him a bad person. Think of this, “He made mistakes like all humans on this earth. I'm ready to forgive him and move on."
- Remember, apologizing doesn't necessarily make you a weak person. Believe me, it takes enormous strength and courage to forgive someone who has hurt you.
Part 3 of 3: Confronting a Man Who Hurts You
Step 1. Write down your thoughts
Sometimes, telling your feelings and explaining what he did that hurt you is the perfect way to get revenge. If possible, let your ex-spouse know you'd like to talk to them. Trust me, a productive confrontation can make you feel better in no time. Before confronting your ex-spouse, try writing down your feelings and thoughts on a piece of paper first.
- Write down how you feel and why you feel it. Try to explain each detail specifically.
- Focus on the results you want. Would you like to accept an apology? Or do you just want to make your ex-spouse feel guilty by explaining what he or she did that hurt you?
Step 2. Get rid of any expectations
Trust me, expectations will greatly influence your behavior; and when you're angry, you're less likely to control your emotions. If you expect your ex to react in a certain way in the conversation, you're more likely to end up angry or stressed out if things go beyond your expectations.
- Let the conversation between the two of you flow naturally. There's no need to be surprised or frustrated if the conversation doesn't go the way you imagined.
- Enter the conversation by admitting that you don't know for sure what's going to happen. By having this perspective, you will undoubtedly find it easier to respond to unwanted situations.
Step 3. Use “I” speech
“I” speech focuses on “what you feel”, not “what he has done”. Doing so will help you not to judge the situation and blame others. The utterance "I" has three important parts. The first part is when you convey your feelings by saying, “I feel…”. The second part is when you describe the behavior that triggered the feeling. While the third part is when you explain the reason behind the feeling.
- For example, don't say, "You lied and hurt me. You said you needed some alone time when in fact you actually started dating other women after we separated. You can just say right away that you're no longer interested in me."
- Change the perspective of the sentence above by using "I" words, for example, "I feel very hurt when you admit that you need time to yourself, when in fact you are directly dating another woman. I feel sad and disappointed because you were not honest with me.".
Step 4. Ask for an apology from him
An apology from the person who has hurt you is a powerful remedy for fixing your feelings. After hearing it, surely your grudge will be reduced and you will also be helped to forgive him. Before the conversation ends, try to politely apologize.
- You can end the conversation by saying, "I know you probably don't feel guilty, but I think you need to apologize."
- Trust me, you'll feel a lot better when you express your feelings and accept the apology. After that, it will be easier for you to move on.
