From time to time, everyone experiences bad thoughts, and that's normal. You may feel pressured by an upcoming interview or presentation, or you may have an embarrassing memory that you don't want to think about anymore. In this article, you can learn to deal with unwanted thoughts so you don't feel overwhelmed and dizzy. You may not be able to completely ward off negative thoughts that arise, but you can deal with them in a healthy manner by: recognizing thoughts that automatically arise, challenging or fighting habitual thinking, practicing techniques to reduce bad thoughts, dealing with and accepting thoughts that arise. negative thoughts, and get social support.
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Method 1 of 4: Recognizing and Fighting Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Identify the thoughts you want to change
In order to change your mindset, you need to know exactly which thoughts and thought patterns are problematic or causing emotional problems.
- Some examples of negative thoughts are, “I'm stupid! I can't do everything right. I know I will fail. I know everyone hates me. I hate that person!”
- There are also certain types of mindsets that exaggerate things (so that they seem worse than they really are). In English, the term is known as catastrophizing. This mindset often makes you think of the worst that will happen in a given situation. Other bad thought patterns, among them, are: overgeneralization (always thinking that something will always or will never happen, such as "I always screw things up!"), mind reading (thinking that you know what other people are thinking)., such as “I know he hates me!”), and predicting the future (thinking that you know what will happen, such as “I will lose.”).
- Make a list of the thoughts and mindsets you want to change so you can refer to them later.
- Write down any thought patterns or habits that you tend to exhibit.
- Be aware that some thoughts may be considered 'bad' simply because they are part of human nature (e.g. thoughts referring to sex) or images of doubt (e.g. “What if….?”) stemming from a desire to feel safe.. It's okay if you have those thoughts (and that's normal). In addition, these thoughts may also stem from appropriate instincts (eg the instinct to protect yourself and loved ones).
- If these thoughts keep recurring or interfere with your daily life, you need to deal with the obsessions associated with these thoughts. However, keep in mind that the obsession that appears does not necessarily make the thought bad.
Step 2. Change the bad thoughts that arise
Once you identify bad thoughts and patterns, you can begin to develop alternative thoughts or patterns.
- Pay attention to when these negative thoughts arise. Recognize these negative thoughts and turn them into more realistic and appropriate thoughts. For example, if you're thinking, "I never do anything well," change that thought to something more accurate, such as "Sometimes I make mistakes and that's okay. After all, I am human. I will try to do better.”
- When you start thinking negative thoughts, immediately stop those thoughts and say to yourself, “Wait a minute! That is not a good thought and it is not right. I know I can make it into something more positive.”
- A therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you through the process and provide additional techniques to try.
Step 3. Make a pattern or positive construction of negative thoughts
If someone asks you not to slam the door when you close it, the first thing you imagine is a door violently closing. When you imagine or create patterns with negative grammatical constructs-“don't think about X”-your brain has to think about it so you remember not to do it. This of course doesn't make sense. Instead, try to make positive grammatical constructions out of the thoughts in question.
For example, if you're feeling anxious about the job interview you're about to attend, don't think like this: “Don't forget to bring your portfolio!”. Instead, think like, “Remember to bring a portfolio!” Also, instead of telling yourself "Don't fail!", say "I'll do well!"
Step 4. Think about the best things that could happen in a given situation
If you're constantly worried that something isn't going to go well, turn that thought around and focus on the most positive possible outcome of the situation. Instead of trying to ignore the things that make you depressed, allow your brain to think about them by directing your thoughts in a direction that gives you less stress and anxiety.
Step 5. Deal with bad thoughts about other people
If you have bad thoughts about other people (e.g. “I hate that person!”), ask yourself why you have such thoughts. Has the person in question ever done anything bad to you? Did he abuse you? Or, is there something you feel, such as envy or jealousy for the person? When you have these thoughts, you need to first analyze your emotions. What are you feeling right now? Do you feel insecure, helpless, or isolated?
- Try to find the source of these thoughts. Do your parents always compare you to your (perceived 'perfect') older sibling? Try to distract yourself from what other people are doing and understand what happens to you when these thoughts occur.
- Practice empathy by imagining sympathetic reasons for the behaviors the other person exhibits. Maybe you think badly of your friend who is overweight, without knowing that he has been busy caring for his sick grandmother and has no time to exercise. Or maybe the person who was rude to you is chronically hurt and is 'venting out' his frustration because he's in pain. The excuses don't need to be accurate, but sympathetic enough so that you can feel calm and carry on with your activity or life, unencumbered by negative thoughts.
Method 2 of 4: Practice Techniques to Reduce Bad Thoughts
Step 1. Set a time to worry about something and hold back the bad thoughts that arise
Research shows that one of the most effective ways to deal with unwanted thoughts is to let them arise. However, that doesn't mean that you have to feel anxious and worried every time these thoughts arise. Instead, set a specific time each day to think about your worries. Outside of that time, make sure no worries bother you.
- Set the same time every day, and make sure you set it at an earlier time (eg in the afternoon) so you don't feel anxious before bed.
- If a bad thought crosses your mind, identify it and tell yourself that you will think about it or worry about it later. You can keep a notebook to write down your worries or simply say to yourself: “I need to stay calm. I'll think about it later." Who knows those worries won't come back.
- If the thought or worry comes back, mark the thought in your notebook (eg with a tick). Say to yourself, “Yeah, I'll think about it again, but later. Not now."
- Check the list created when you enter the 'worry' time. If the bad thought or anxiety is still bothering you, you can think about it and worry about it, but only do it for a predetermined period or time. If these things no longer bother you, cross them off the list and get back to work.
- By holding back or pausing your worries, you can break the habit of holding back and dwelling on the bad things that interfere with your day. At the same time, however, you are also not trying to suppress or counteract these thoughts. If these bad thoughts keep recurring, you can talk to a mental health professional.
Step 2. Observe the bad thoughts that come up, but don't get lost in them
For example, when a negative thought arises, remember the thought that occurred. These bad thoughts can be caused by things you don't usually tell yourself, or other things that come from the environment, or other people's words and actions that trigger bad memories.
- When a person recalls a bad memory AND is immersed in it, that person relives the memory, emotions and everything related to the memory, unless he is aware that something is bringing back the bad memory.
- Once you are aware, you can suppress the bad thoughts that arise, as explained earlier. Acknowledge that bad things do happen in life sometimes, and understand why you are reminded of those memories. However, make sure that you will ignore it for a while, and not relive the bad memory.
Method 3 of 4: Dealing with and Accepting Bad Thoughts
Step 1. Accept the fact that warding off bad thoughts can be challenging
Research shows that people have greater difficulty fighting unwanted thoughts when they believe they should be able to do so easily. If they are told that it is difficult to block out thoughts, including positive ones, it will be easier for them to block out the thoughts they wish to ignore. Therefore, try to stay relaxed and don't put too much pressure on yourself. The pressure will only bring back those negative thoughts.
Step 2. Let the negative thoughts arise
Research shows that if a person tries very hard to distract himself from normal negative thoughts, he will instead focus on those thoughts and turn them into bad obsessive thoughts. Other research has shown that people who distract themselves from bad thoughts through music end up hating the music.
- Normal negative thoughts can be in the form of presumptive images (eg, “What if this happened?”) about something bad that is about to happen, such as a theft or robbery. In fact, this is perfectly normal and, in fact, a useful thought because you will remember to lock your doors and windows at night, and not want to take risks for the safety of yourself and your loved ones. The thought becomes unreasonable when you don't want to leave the house, buy two pitbull dogs, and install a security system, even when you live in a quiet, crime-safe neighborhood. It's unnatural thoughts like that that you need to deal with.
- Instead of trying to distract yourself every time you have a bad thought, just let it come to you.
- If you think negative thoughts are natural, you can let them go and, if necessary, take action (eg when you think about theft, you may remember that you haven't locked the back door so you go and lock it). You can also try to be grateful for these thoughts that are trying to protect you, then return to your normal activities.
- If the thoughts don't go away, you can try the exercises described earlier in methods 1 and 2 to work around them.
Step 3. Develop a coping strategy
From time to time, we are bound to experience bad thoughts. It's easier to deal with bad thoughts if you have a plan for responding to them when they arise. The strategy should follow a rule like this: "If the thought X comes to my mind, I have to do Y."
- Actions can be simple actions, such as "I'd let it appear, but won't think about it right now."
- You can also get up and do some physical activity that can keep you focused on that activity whenever a bad thought pops up. For example, you can do a 50 count jumping jack exercise.
- Use coping strategies to deal with negative thoughts and emotions. For example, you can go for a walk to enjoy nature, create art, write, exercise, or do religious activities.
Step 4. Meditate and practice mindfulness
Mindfulness meditation is a great way to deal with bad thoughts. While this meditation won't 'clear' your mind or stop bad thoughts from arising (it's impossible to control what comes into your mind), it will help you analyze these thoughts calmly and objectively. With practice, you will learn to ignore negative thoughts when they arise.
- Find a place that is quiet and, as much as possible, free of distractions.
- Sit up straight in a chair, and place your hands on your thighs.
- Close your eyes and focus on the darkness. If you see any color in the darkness, focus on that color.
- Try to be aware of what is happening in the moment (eg what your body is feeling, or thoughts that come and go). The main purpose of this meditation is to be aware and aware of what is happening 'at that moment', regardless of any thoughts that may arise.
- When negative thoughts arise, accept them and try to research them with separate curiosity. Think about where these thoughts come from and why you believe those thoughts or views. Remind yourself that thoughts and feelings are not fixed, and that bad thoughts that arise do not necessarily represent or describe who you really are.
- Do this meditation for 20 minutes every day. Again, it takes time to be able to observe the negative thoughts that arise separately.
Step 5. Keep a journal
Sometimes, writing down what's on your mind and venting it on a piece of paper can help make it easier for you to solve the problem at hand. If bad thoughts keep popping up, try writing them down in a journal. Keep a journal every day until the bad thoughts no longer overwhelm you.
Step 6. Look at the bad thoughts that come up as conjectures or hypotheses
Don't think bad thoughts are more important than they really are. This is referred to as cognitive diffusion. Everyone has thoughts they don't want, and that's not strange. In fact, not wanting to have certain thoughts can actually make you focus on those thoughts, even if they aren't negative thoughts. For example, try not to think about adorable puppies right now! Can you get the image of an adorable puppy out of your mind? It's hard, isn't it?
- Do your best not to exaggerate things (in this case, bad thoughts).
- Accept the fact that having bad thoughts doesn't necessarily define who you are. In this way, the bad thoughts will disappear more quickly.
Method 4 of 4: Getting Outside Help
Step 1. Seek social support
The existence of social support can help people to overcome negative thoughts that arise.
- Ask a friend, family member, spouse, teacher, college friend, or someone you trust to provide support or help you deal with any negative thoughts that arise.
- Ask for a different opinion. If you find it difficult to change the negative thoughts that arise, ask others to provide a different way or mindset. You'd be surprised how useful this different mindset can be.
Step 2. Make sure you are surrounded by positive friends
If you're constantly with or around people who complain a lot and think about the worst in a situation, you have a tendency to behave that way too. Remove negative influences from your life, and spend time with people who make you think positively. When bad thoughts are no longer a topic of conversation, they will no longer be a part of your mindset.
Step 3. Get cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
If bad thoughts keep you from living a calm and happy life, and everything you're trying to do is not producing any significant results, try seeking help from a professional (eg a therapist or psychologist). A therapist can help you deal with bad thoughts that arise in a safe and structured way.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy is a treatment approach that focuses specifically on changing negative thoughts to improve emotions and behavior. This therapy is more precisely a type of treatment that can help you learn how to deal with disturbing bad thoughts. This therapy has also been shown to be successful in treating various mental health problems such as depression, anxiety disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Ask your therapist if he or she can apply this therapy to your treatment.
- Keep in mind that therapy is not a quick way to solve problems. In fact, dozens of therapy sessions with a therapist will not necessarily make these bad thoughts go away.
- Be patient and stick with the therapist and the treatment plan given to deal with and deal with bad thoughts in a more constructive way.
