When you've been with the same person for a long time, sometimes making love feels as routine as washing dishes. But if you want your relationship to stay alive, you have to bring passion back into the bedroom. You don't have to look far if you want to know how to revitalize your relationship with your partner.
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Method 1 of 5: Recognizing You Have a Problem
Step 1. Acknowledge that your romance with your partner is not what it used to be
When you've just met your partner, you both can't stop touching each other or spend more than an hour without flirting. But now that we've been together for five years, lovemaking is about as bland as frozen food. Here are some signs that indicate that you and your partner have problems in bed:
- You can't remember the last time you had sex. If it takes you more than a few minutes to remember the last time you had sex, it may be a very long time ago, or that the romance was so unremarkable that you forgot.
- You stop paying attention to your appearance before the sex session. For women, if you used to shave your legs every morning and now your legs haven't been shaved properly for weeks, it could be a sign that you're not doing enough, or that you don't really care about sex sessions. And for men, if you're no longer working on cleaning yourself up and smelling fresh, it might be a sign that you don't care about what's going on in the bedroom anymore.
- Making love is just part of your to-do list. If you feel good after sex because you have successfully completed the day's task and can move on to the next, it's a sign that you don't see sex as fun and exciting, but as part of your routine.
- You are no longer passionate about your partner. This is the worst sign, but fear not! This problem can be solved with some sexy measures and seduction, unless the condition is permanent.
- If sex is now something you fear.
Step 2. Make sure that your sex life is the only problem
Sometimes an unsettling situation in bed is just part of the natural changes in a relationship, but it's also possible that it's not the only problem. Before trying to return the passion in lovemaking, you need to make sure that you and your partner have a strong relationship. Here are some signs that indicate that there are bigger problems than a lack of sex drive in your relationship:
- You feel very distant from your partner. If you and your partner don't share your thoughts and feelings with each other anymore, or if you feel as though you don't know what your partner has been up to for a week, you may be starting to drift apart. If your partner walks into the house you're living together and you can't seem to understand it anymore, then your problem may be more than a lack of sex drive.
- You find yourself fantasizing about other people, and never fantasizing about your own partner. If you're often passionate about strangers, or other members of the opposite sex you know, or hot men/women on television, but never think about making love to your partner unless it's during intercourse, this could be a sign that you're no longer attracted to each other. other.
- You and your partner often fight and are more often unhappy than happy. While every romantic relationship takes effort, if whatever you're doing isn't working, and you're basically miserable living life with your partner and happier when you're alone, then even the most intense sex can't fix the real problem.
Step 3. Communicate your problem in the bedroom
If you really love your partner and want them to be a part of your life forever, it's time to have a serious talk. If other aspects of your relationship are healthy, the channels of communication between you and your partner should be open, and talking about the situation is the first corrective step, even if it can feel a little awkward. Here are a few ways to start a conversation:
- Casual but firm. There's no point in scaring your partner by saying you want to "seriously talk," but be firm about the fact that you have something you want to discuss with him. Say, "There's something I want to talk to you about." Choose a time to talk when he's not busy and stress-free.
- Reassure your partner that you still love him or her, but this issue is something that needs to be resolved.
- Once you both agree that your relationship needs more passion, you can discuss the reasons behind it. Do you and your partner no longer consider each other special? Are you both so busy that sex isn't a priority? Are you both so stressed that you don't even have time to think about sex? Whatever the problem, discussing it together is the first step in solving it.
Method 2 of 5: Be Romantic
Step 1. Maintain your physical appearance, as if you are ready to make love
You will not be able to restore the passion in the relationship if every day you only wear a sweater and do not shower for three days. If you want to feel romantic again, it's important that you and your partner appear ready to make love, or at least make out.
- Clean yourself well. Even if you know you have a busy day ahead, passion can come at any time, so it's important to be prepared. Both you and your partner should really take the time to shower, style your hair, and ensure that your body smells good and your breath fresh, so you can return to the romantic atmosphere you used to be.
- Dress in an impressive way. Dressing perfectly every night is unrealistic, especially if you and your partner live together, but try to wear clothes that are attractive and flattering on your body, so that you look good even if you're only at home.
- There are days when you dress more casually, or even laze at home all day in your pajamas, but this shouldn't become a habit.
Step 2. Do romantic things
Once you start to appear more romantic, you can also be more romantic. Romantic atmosphere, dates, and romantic words are important to keep your passion alive before you go to the bedroom. Here's how:
- Create a romantic atmosphere. If you and your partner live together, keep the house clean with inviting lighting and clean sheets, so sex can happen spontaneously at any time. If you and your partner don't live together and he's coming over for a movie date at your house, light some scented candles and sort out all the mess so he'll think about sex instead of why you haven't taken the trash out.
- Have a romantic date. Try to date at least once a week. You can cook a delicious dinner at home with a bottle of red wine, take a walk in the moonlight, or try a new restaurant on the street near your house.
- Listen to jazz music or watch a movie to create a romantic atmosphere. If you are surrounded by a romantic atmosphere, you will likely be motivated to feel and act more romantically.
- Do romantic actions. If you're a man, open the door, pull up a chair, and give him a jacket if your partner is cold. If you are a woman, hold your partner's arm or kiss him on the lips at appropriate times.
Step 3. Say romantic words
Try to compliment your partner and tell them how much you love them. You can do something sweet by leaving a note in the mirror, in the lunch box, or in the message box on his cell phone, which will make him think of you when he's away. Below are some other ways to say romantic words:
- Write a list of reasons that made you fall in love with him on a greeting card. You can do this without waiting for a birthday or other special occasion. You can even give him the card at the start of a dinner date to really impress him.
- At night, tell him how much you love him right before you go to sleep.
- Every now and then, send a text message that you wish him a good day and that you're thinking about him.
Method 3 of 5: Trying New Things
Step 1. Make love in a new place
After you and your partner feel more romantic, now is the time to spice up your romance. Here are some tips for making love in a new place:
- Make love in new parts of your home. Making love in the bedroom can be boring at times, so try some new places, like the bathroom, or kitchen countertops, as long as the curtains are closed.
- Make love on the couch or in a certain area of your house. When you invite some friends over to your house, you can wink at your partner while rubbing the chair you used as a place to make love before, or both think about the fun sex the two of you had without anyone knowing.
- Take a "hot" vacation. Head to the beach or a romantic island, and make love in your new hotel room.
- Make love in unusual places. If you've found a private place that won't bother or disturb anyone, you can make love in your car, park, or in a tent while camping. Keep in mind that you could face legal trouble for having sex in public, so choose your sex location wisely.
Step 2. Try a new sex position
If you always make love in the same position or two, now is the time to try a new position. Part of passion is that there's always something new, so thinking about sex styles other than the missionary position should be your mission. Here are some suggestions for trying out a new position:
- Try not to make love in the usual way that is comfortable for you. If you stay out of your comfort zone, you're more likely to find something new and sexy.
- Change position. If you're always on top, swap positions with your partner and see what it's like.
- Don't be afraid to look for a new position. Read the book "Kama Sutra" or learn a new position on the internet. If you do this with your partner, you'll both start to get excited in the process.
- Increase the flexibility of your body. Take a yoga class or spend more time stretching your calves, thighs, and muscles behind your knees. This will help you to enjoy a certain position even more, or to find a new one.
Step 3. Visit a sex supply (or sexy clothing) store
You've been with the same person for years, so you should be comfortable enough to be more adventurous in sex. If you're brave, try some of the ways below to spice up your sex life:
- Don't underestimate the power of sex toys. Go to a sex shop with your partner and buy some supplies like whips, handcuffs, sexy lotion, or anything else that can improve your sex life. While it may feel a little awkward, remember that everyone who visits a sex supply store has the same reason, so relax and have fun.
- Wear sexy clothes. If you are a woman, choose sexy underwear, such as garters, thongs, and lacy bras. You can even flirt with your partner by showing them your underwear a second before getting fully dressed. You can buy clothes that are so sexy that you'll only wear them in the bedroom and then take them off seductively with your partner.
Step 4. Try some exciting sex scenarios
Why not? Invite your partner to come up with ideas together to create interesting scenarios that make your blood boil. Taking risks can bring excitement back into the bedroom. Here are some scenarios to try:
- Dress and dress like you are going to a wedding reception or some important place. Pretend that you're running late and need to leave soon but both of you can't help it. Enjoy sex in nice clothes-just make sure to keep your clothes clean!
- Try having sex almost fully clothed. This can be very sexy.
- Try the old, healthy way of role-playing. Head to a sex shop and try on sexy costumes, whether you're a cop or a princess. It might seem silly at first, but never mind, make love in a new costume!
- Pretend that you had a big fight and then have sex to make up.
- Tell your partner about your fantasy-whatever ridiculous it is-and wait for the action to make that fantasy come true.
Method 4 of 5: Being Naughty
Step 1. Don't underestimate the power of bad words
The right naughty words go a long way in bringing the excitement back in your relationship, whether you're in bed or just chatting on the phone. Here are some suggestions you can try:
- Surprise your partner by saying something naughty before bed. If the mood is right, say what you want, and then the sex will follow.
- Say naughty words while making love. Tell your partner how you feel when you make love to them, or say that you really enjoy touching their bodies.
- Send sexy text messages. Send a sexy message to say that you are very passionate. But be careful-make sure you don't embarrass yourself by sending a sexy message that the wrong person receives.
- Speak naughty words on the phone. Draw it visually-it will be very sexy.
Step 2. Watch a sexy movie that will excite you
Maybe this will feel a little strange, but invite your partner to watch a sexy movie and maybe a slightly hotter film. You can come up with great new ideas for making love and be excited in the process.
- If you're comfortable doing this, watch a blue movie with your partner. When the feeling is right, you will be very excited.
- Watch perverted television shows. Watching two people on TV kiss, touch each other, or make love can set you and your partner ready to be the stars of your own show.
- Look at the sexy pictures with your partner. Enjoy the awakening of your passions together.
Step 3. Be spontaneous
Your sex life will be more interesting if you know that you can make love at any time, and are pleasantly surprised when your partner says he wants to make love at the most unexpected time. Here are some ways to be sexy and spontaneous:
- Even if you're doing something as mundane as watching the news, if you really want to, kiss and touch your partner.
- Make love at inappropriate times. Maybe you're late for a friend's party, but if you're in the mood, have a quick makeover before you leave. You can wink at each other to remember the sexy moment.
- If you're in a public place, hurry home for hot sex. If you want to make love when you're outside, just say to your partner, "I want you, now." Get off your feet and go home for a hot romance. This will make you feel very sexy, as long as you don't miss out on any important events.
Method 5 of 5: Maintaining Your Passion
Step 1. Fertilize your love relationship
To maintain a healthy sex life, you should always try to maintain a healthy relationship. Try to show your partner that you really love him or how much he means to you, and your sex life will stay warm. Try the following methods:
- Communication. Create open communication so you can discuss any issues in the relationship-in or out of the bedroom.
- Tell your partner that you really care about them. Try to praise or appreciate your partner as often as you can.
- Develop common interests. This is important, you have to make sure that you and your partner have something in common in addition to the new pleasures of making love.
Step 2. Keep your sex life interesting
Even if your sex life is getting better, don't stop there. There's always room for improvement, and there's always the possibility for things to get worse if you're not careful. Below are some ways you can keep something new to keep your sex drive alive:
- Make love as often as you can. You don't have to count how often you have sex with your partner, but the more often you make love, the more you'll want to do it again.
- Never make love your last priority. Maybe this week you are busy, but always make time to make love with your partner. Making love will strengthen the relationship and will put you in a better mood.
- Try as often as possible trying something new. Be open to new positions, new locations, or new scenarios.
- Even if you're not making love, don't forget to tell your partner that he's hot, or that you like his body.
Step 3. Seek help if you can't fix this problem yourself
If you really want to improve your bedroom life but don't seem to be working, it may be time to seek help elsewhere. It may sound scary, but awkward conversations with new people are better than an awkward sex life. You can seek help in the following ways:
- Read a sexy blog or magazine to see if you can get some helpful advice.
- Talk to a close friend who has a passionate sex life and ask him for advice. Make sure that your partner doesn't mind if you ask a friend who is also his friend.
- See a sex therapist. Sex therapists are experts who can really help you turn things around. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you want to save your sex life-as well as your relationship.
