There are many reasons why you might end up deciding to become the “other ideal woman” in a relationship. However, make sure you understand the consequences, both for the man's wife, his family, and your own mental health. If you start an illicit relationship, remember to keep it a secret by avoiding meeting in public places to avoid being recognized and not sharing photos with them on social media. Keep things warm and fun by planning a special weekend together while enjoying the moment together as long as possible!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Taking Care of Your Own Needs
Step 1. Clearly understand your expectations and role in his life
Know from the start that you won't be her number one priority. Don't expect him to leave his wife (if this is your wish, think again about your motivation for being his mistress). If you can make things clear from the start, you'll have a much longer enjoyable affair, and won't feel frustrated or hurt.
When starting a relationship, try to discuss each other's expectations – let him know that you don't expect to be in a serious relationship and just want to have fun
Step 2. Make sure you feel comfortable having an affair with someone
If you want to be a mistress, you have to accept the fact that the relationship will be kept a secret, even from your family and friends. This means that you can't keep cute photos with your partner, go outdoors with them, and have to keep your personal life to yourself.
Maybe you'd prefer to know that the relationship can't be serious because the goal is just to have fun. If you have the right mindset from the start, you won't feel hurt and frustrated in the long run
Step 3. Consider the implications of this for his wife and children, if any
You may have thought about this already, but try to convince yourself one more time. If you're concerned that the relationship will have major implications for your wife and family, think about what the long-term effect will be. Will you feel hurt by it? Will this affect the way you view yourself? Make sure you are comfortable with the decisions taken so as not to have a negative influence in the future.
Since every situation is different, there is no set rule that requires you to continue or stop this relationship – this is a decision that must be made on your own considering the situation and circumstances
Step 4. Establish another, more meaningful relationship and find a hobby
Being a mistress often means that you won't be going out on special occasions, and will be spending holidays and special occasions alone. Be prepared to deal with this and find a friend (or another boyfriend, if you prefer) to make your life feel complete and enjoyable. You will have a lot of free time that can be used to explore hobbies and other things that you enjoy.
Being a mistress may satisfy some of your needs while still providing space to focus on other relationships, career, self-improvement, and physical conditioning
Step 5. Think about your feelings on a regular basis and understand when it's time to move on
Make sure to stay true to your feelings, needs, and wants. If you're feeling bored or hurt, maybe the relationship needs to end. Also, if you start dreaming of becoming your lover's new wife, this can lead to even more bitter disappointment. Protect yourself emotionally by prioritizing your needs first.
Give yourself space for romantic relationships with other people. You might meet the right person. You have the right to have open relationships with other people
Tips:
If you want guidance, but are reluctant to talk to a friend, see a therapist. You can use the services of a therapist to understand your own thoughts, and can learn something useful in the future.
Method 2 of 3: Keeping Relationships Secret
Step 1. Don't go to a place where friends and family frequent
One of the key factors in not being caught is hiding. You may know where your lover lives, where his wife often goes shopping, where the children go to school, and other important details. Avoid these areas, especially if you find them in public.
If you live or work in a nearby location and happen to see your lover with his family, ignore it. If you must interact, speak briefly, politely, and professionally
Step 2. Don't leave your belongings in your lover's house, car, and personal space
There are many people who have cheated on being caught because the wife finds something personal that is not hers, such as bras, jewelry, makeup, or other clothing accessories. Keep all these items at home or in your wallet, then double-check everything so you don't miss anything when you meet at the agreed location.
Do not also send gifts or packages to his home or office address. Give these items directly so as not to be seen by others
Step 3. Don't call or text when he's spending time with his family
Remember, you are not the priority. If you want your affair to last, you need to value the time he spends with his family. Contacting him at home will increase the chances of your relationship getting exposed so he can hate you and end your relationship. It can also heat up your next interaction.
- Although difficult, you should let him set the frequency of contact during intercourse.
- Don't let your lover hide something like a cell phone to contact you. If the wife finds the object, she will know that something is wrong.
Step 4. Use a pseudonym if you want to tell other people this relationship
Keeping a relationship secret is the best way to keep it hidden, but if you want to talk about it, don't use your real name or details around your identity. As you know, friends are usually very interested in the details of the story. So decide whether you want to lie and manipulate the story or not tell the story at all.
Be prepared to receive negative comments if friends or family find out you are a mistress. People may not support your choice. So, think carefully if you intend to share your relationship with the people you care about
Step 5. Don't flaunt your relationship on social media
Even if you try to cover it up, someone will notice the details in the story and know what you mean. Never share your affair story on the internet so you don't get caught.
This means you shouldn't post photos of flowers he sent you, photos from outings together, food you made for him, and any other details that you find interesting to share
Tips:
If you want to keep memories of your affair, keep things like movie tickets, menus, dried flowers, and other items in a box at home.
Method 3 of 3: Enjoying Togetherness
Step 1. Plan a weekend getaway together outside the city so that you can be alone in public spaces freely
So that you can spend time alone without getting caught, go out of town together. You will enjoy the sensation of traveling to new places to spend time with your loved one.
You may not be able to travel with him very often, depending on his work schedule and the time he spends with his family. Plan to go out together every few months if possible
Step 2. Make your relationship drama-free and do things together
You may have limited time to spend the day with him, and can only spend time alone at home or in hidden locations. However, this doesn't mean you can't have fun! If you're looking for something out of the ordinary, try cooking dinner together instead of buying it, or schedule a couples massage session to show some affection.
Your relationship may last for years, or end in a matter of months. Focus on having fun in the present instead of worrying about things that haven't happened in the future
Step 3. Don't comment on your lover's relationship with his wife
Even if he complains about problems with his wife at home, don't make negative comments or compare yourself to her. However, focus on what is happening right now. You could change the subject or say something as simple as, "You don't have to think about it right now – let's have a good time together tonight!"
Badmouthing his wife to make you look more attractive is tempting. However, remember that he has already chosen you and you don't need to provide input on his married life
Tips:
When you're tempted to speak ill of his wife, take a deep breath, count to 5, then ask yourself, "What's the point?" There is not any! This actually makes him focus more on his marriage than on you.
Step 4. Let him contact you first so he doesn't seem spoiled
The best way to kill a relationship is to be possessive and easily jealous. Remember, your lover has another life to live. The time you two spend together will be more enjoyable if you don't shower him with text messages asking for a date.
The more independent you are, the more crazy he becomes. Keeping the relationship casual and not going overboard will only make him pursue you even more
Tips
- Never threaten to expose your illicit relationship to your lover's wife and family to get him a divorce. This threat can turn against you, and damage existing relationships.
- If his wife confronts you as a result of this relationship, it's best to just admit it and end the relationship. Knowing that, the wife will keep a closer eye on her husband so it's almost impossible for you to see him.
