Distance can complicate relationships, especially if you're a teenager. Although it is difficult to maintain a relationship when distance separates, there are actually benefits to be gained from this long distance relationship. If both of you are fully aware of what this relationship means and are working hard to keep in touch, you can make this relationship special.
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Part 1 of 3: Starting a Long Distance Relationship
Step 1. Set boundaries for your relationship
Make sure you know what you expect from this relationship. This is important for you to do before separating, if you were already dating when, for example, attending the same high school or meeting in a student exchange program. You two need to really clarify the situation at hand to avoid getting jealous and confused.
- You have to decide whether this relationship is exclusive or not. It doesn't matter if the relationship isn't exclusive, as long as both parties don't mind their partner dating someone else.
- Find out if this relationship has a future or not. If so, think about when the two of you will finally be together. As a teenager, it will feel like a long time, but if you don't know exactly when the distance will no longer separate you, it will be even more difficult to stay together.
Step 2. Remember the advantages of being in a long distance relationship
Being away from a lover does not always make us miserable. This separation can give you the opportunity to get to know each other and yourself better, but at the same time you have someone to talk to when times are tough.
- Your communication skills will be better. Distance forces you to communicate regularly, to learn what you share, and what makes you different. You can't help but talk about your life, dreams, and anxieties because the only thing you can do when distance separates you is to chat.
- This is an opportunity for you to spend time with friends and family and do things you enjoy. It could be that your new boyfriend doesn't like the things you do. With the distance, you will be able to do it without feeling guilty for not spending time with him.
- You can try to write down these benefits. Thus your mind can become clear and you can read it when you are feeling down remembering that he is far from you.
Step 3. Prepare to separate
Not separated because of the breakdown of the relationship, but for every time you have to separate because of distance. Remember that every time you will meet, the meeting will end because you have to go back to your respective places. Indeed this is sad and maybe this sadness will feel less heavy if you have reminded yourself that this separation will always be present.
If you're always overly sad whenever you're apart, this can be bad for your emotional health. Think about it, is this relationship so important that you are willing to go through this on a regular basis?
Step 4. Tell your parents about things
Even if you are considered an adult, as a teenager, your parents still have control over your life. Therefore, they have the right to know what is going on in your romantic relationship and they also set the rules that you must follow regarding your relationship. They may be supportive and helpful, and they may be able to find a way for you to keep in touch with them and eventually be together.
It may be that parents are against this relationship, but this is no reason to keep it a secret from them. Instead, try to show how mature you are by living this relationship well. Be clear about what you want from your parents, such as advice or support. Make sure you are open and honest about why you want this relationship. Most importantly, if they disagree, try to stay calm and ask questions to find out why they disagree
Step 5. Be careful if you meet your boyfriend in cyberspace
Ultimately you want to meet in person and if you meet him online, perhaps through social media or forums, he may not be what he seems. Make sure you've verified who he is before getting into a relationship with him.
- There are a few things you can easily do to make sure the other person is what they say they are. You can ask other people who use the same site, or maybe you can ask your friends who happen to be friends with them too to make sure this person is real. If he sends you photos, try checking them with a search engine like TinEye or Google images.
- Never give out personal information such as phone numbers or addresses until you are sure of this person. Even if you are sure, be careful when sharing personal information.
- Watch out for other signs of grooming, such as requests for private chats, offers of money or other gifts, and requests for information about your home and family. If you've never met this person before, this could be a sign of bad faith and you should report it to a moderator or administrator and your parents.
- This step is very important if you meet him in cyberspace. There are too many fraudsters who use the internet to deceive or harm others. Make sure you're in too much of a relationship with someone you don't really know.
Part 2 of 3: Keeping Communication Going
Step 1. Chat often
There are many ways to communicate when distance divides in this day and age. Cell phones, computers, and other technologies allow people who are not in the same place to communicate. Make sure you have set a schedule to be able to communicate regularly.
- You don't have to do it every day, or do it at the same time. As long as you try to communicate, the relationship can work well. But don't get too busy looking for time to chat and make other things neglected.
- Make sure the technology used feels right for each party. Using a cell phone to either make calls or send messages is not a good option if either party lives in an area that has poor signal. It could also be that your partner has an old computer without a camera so you can't communicate via Skype.
- Think about the time difference. If you live in a different time zone, think about how to deal with it. Do not let you disturb your partner while he is sleeping at 2 am because you want to chat.
- Think about how you guys communicate. Do you always contact him first? Or is it him? If only one of you is trying to keep in touch, this is not a good sign. Make sure you both try to continue to be in a relationship.
Step 2. Do some things together
This may sound difficult because you live in different places, but it is important to do this to strengthen your relationship. That way, you guys have something in common and have something to talk about when you meet online or over the phone. If you do something together, you will feel closer to each other, no matter how far apart. There are some fun things to do together, such as:
- Watching the same TV show while calling him so you can discuss what's going on on the show.
- Learn a new skill together, like a new language or a new sport. Tell each other's progress and try to share tips.
- If you are both gamers, playing together online can be fun. Make sure you already know how competitive your partner is to keep feelings for each other.
Step 3. Send gifts to each other
It doesn't have to be a big gift, but a gift that reminds him that you think about and care about your partner. Because you are still a teenager, you may not have much money, so don't waste it on buying luxurious and expensive gifts. Small things like sending a handwritten letter can touch a partner's heart, you know.
- Little things to remind you of the place where you met can be a sweet gift because it can remind you of the good times you spent together. You can send your photos accompanied by sweet notes to evoke beautiful memories.
- Take a look at what you like and don't like to make sure you're sending something your partner can enjoy. For example, what food is your partner allergic to to make sure he doesn't get sick when you send him food.
Step 4. Plan your next meeting
Even though being in different places brings benefits to your relationship, it's best if you meet face-to-face. Make sure each of you tries to find the right time to meet in person.
- The details of this encounter depend on how far away you are. If you live in the same province, maybe you can meet once a month a week. This will be more difficult to do if you live on a different island, or even a different country. Make sure each of you knows how often you'll be seeing each other and who's coming to your partner.
- Saving for this trip can be a fun game. Make sure you know how much it will cost, and keep an eye on your savings. Remember every time you save a little, you are one step closer to being with your lover again.
Part 3 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Try to be honest about your values
The point of a relationship is not changing yourself for the other person, but making the other person love you for who you are. As a teenager, this is not an easy thing, because you face intense pressure to change yourself, which you can easily do when you are not sure of yourself. If something is important to you, let your partner know. If he really cares, he will support you to study it or live with it.
Step 2. Learn to manage time
This relationship is definitely very special to you, but don't let it be the only thing in your life. Make time for your friends and try new things. Don't miss the chance for a new experience as you are waiting for a call from him. If your relationship is really important, your boyfriend will understand you.
Remember that this means allowing your partner to have a life of their own too. You can't expect him to listen to all your activities while you're jealous if he's busy with his own life too
Step 3. Discuss this relationship with your friends
Make sure your friends know that you already have a boyfriend. Try to occasionally mention what your boyfriend is busy doing and what you think about it. If your partner is in the same city as you, you will definitely tell your friends about him or her. Why should it be any different if he is in another city?
- It also helps you remember your partner and can keep thinking about them even when you're not talking to them.
- Friends can also see if the relationship is not good. They can tell by the tone of your voice that changes when you talk about them, or when you don't talk about them much anymore. They can spot a problem before you know it, and this can help you solve it.
Step 4. Think about your goals
As a teenager, romance can be difficult because you don't know what you want out of this relationship. Your goals may change as you've been in this relationship for some time. And you know what you want and don't want from this relationship.
