Various problems can occur at any time so that life feels disappointing, for example because of the loss of a loved one, being fired from a job, having been unemployed for a long time, suffering from a chronic illness, heartbreak, divorce, and so on. In a situation like this, it's natural to feel disappointed. However, remember that things will get better if you always think positive because this will keep you optimistic and productive. In addition, there are several steps you can take to make you feel happy again and live your daily life with a positive mindset.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Determining the Cause of the Problem
Step 1. Find out why life feels so disappointing
This condition can be caused by various things. You may experience stress if you feel anxious, depressed, or have physical complaints, such as headaches or insomnia. In general, stress is caused by the following:
- Big changes in daily life. Maybe you are experiencing stress because of major changes in your daily life, for example, because you recently separated (or started a relationship with someone), changed jobs, moved residence, etc. Adjusting to new situations and changes is not easy, but you can do it if you are confident, optimistic, and positive.
- Family. Troubled family life tends to make family members feel disappointed, sad, or anxious. This condition occurs because the family is dysfunctional, parents want to commit suicide, family members need special attention / suffer from serious illnesses.
- Employment or education. Many people experience stress because of the many demands that must be met while working or studying. Life is disappointing if you are not valued at work/school or work without career development opportunities.
- Social life. Life is disappointing if you are neglected or difficult to get along with. You will experience stress if you get anxious about meeting new people or socializing and you have to do these activities.
Step 2. Get into the habit of journaling
One way to find out what causes certain feelings to arise is to identify when you feel them. Journaling helps you identify aspects of your problem triggers that you can control so you can stay positive. However, remember that the only aspect you can control is your own actions and responses.
- For example, you may notice that you often feel disappointed and sad when you are at work. This happens because you feel ignored, unappreciated, and the work demands are too heavy. This condition makes life feel disappointing.
- Determine the aspects you can control. You can't determine whether other people will appreciate or acknowledge your contribution, but you can choose to be assertive to achieve success. You alone decide whether or not you are ready to complete all the work well. You are also able to determine whether or not to look for other, more prospective jobs. Think of ways to empower yourself so that life doesn't feel disheartening.
- To solve the problem, write down some possible solutions. For example, if your job is too heavy, meet with your boss to discuss the job description or ask for a raise. If you feel unappreciated, consider finding a job at a company that has a better work culture. Write down some concrete, specific solutions that you can work on.
Step 3. Answer the following questions to analyze yourself
Are you having a serious illness? Do you take drugs and/or alcohol? Have you had any important events recently? Have you recently lost someone you loved so much? Are you in conflict with someone? Have you experienced violence or trauma? Are you taking medication prescribed by a doctor?
If you answered yes to any of the questions above, this could be a clue as to why you find life disappointing
Step 4. Consider biological causes
Many people do not know why their life is not fun. Research has shown that genetics is one of the causes of depression. If someone in your family is depressed, you likely have depression too. In addition, depression can be caused by a lack of thyroid hormones or chronic pain.
- Women are at risk of developing depression 2 times greater than men.
- Changes in hormone levels in the body can trigger depression.
- Changes in brain cells are one of the causes of depression. Research on people with depression shows changes in the brain.
Method 2 of 3: Turning Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts
Step 1. Realize every time you think negatively
Try to be aware of negative thoughts so that you can turn them into positive thoughts. People who are used to negative thinking are more likely to anticipate worst-case scenarios. In addition, they immediately blame themselves if something bad happens. What's more, they tend to exaggerate the negative side of current events and easily judge things as good or bad.
Step 2. Turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts
Get in the habit of monitoring your thoughts throughout the day. Determine the things that cause you to think negatively and then try to think about them from the positive side. Get used to socializing only with positive people because you can experience stress and more negative thinking if you often interact with negative people. Practice turning negative thoughts into positive ones using the following examples:
- Negative thoughts: "I'm afraid of failure because I've never done this task before." Positive thoughts: "I will take advantage of this good opportunity to do something new."
- Negative thoughts: "I'm such a loser." Positive thoughts: "I'll keep trying until I succeed."
- Negative thoughts: "This change is hard to make." Positive thoughts: "I'm going to do something new and fun."
Step 3. Don't judge yourself based on environmental conditions
Many people assume that the life they live determines who they are. This view makes it difficult for them to think positively if they are in an unpleasant environment. Instead of focusing on the conditions around you, rely on your abilities and skills. Remember that the current situation is temporary.
- For example, if you're worried about not getting hired, remember that your job doesn't define who you are. Use this opportunity to do new things or find a prospective job in a new location, for example by volunteering or focusing on family.
- If life is disappointing because you're being bullied, remember that bullies use other people to deal with insecurities. Their actions reflect who they really are, not you. Report the matter to someone in authority, such as a parent, counselor or manager. Be strong and assertive.
Step 4. Do activities outside the home and get back to socializing
People who find life disappointing tend to withdraw and don't want to socialize. Ironically, this method can make depression worse. Do the following ways to get back to socializing.
- The first step, invite a friend or family member to drink coffee while chatting.
- Call your friends and loved ones more often than usual.
- Don't expect life to feel good right away or all the attention is on you. Try to get back to socializing while adjusting.
- Be friendly to the people you meet during your daily activities. Feel free to say hello to them. Chatting with people you don't know can be fun.
- Join a club or take a course to make new friends.
Step 5. Get used to thinking clearly
If you believe that life is disappointing, you may not be able to think clearly and not respond rationally. Instead of letting your mind run out of control, start thinking clearly by answering the following questions.
- "How can I determine whether my views are correct or not?"
- "Is my opinion always right?"
- "Are there any exceptions?"
- "What aspects have I not considered?"
Step 6. Exercise regularly and eat nutritious food
Exercising three times a week has been shown to reduce mild to moderate depression, make you feel more comfortable, sleep better, and improve your mood. Another way to deal with depression is to eat nutritious foods. Don't drink alcohol and eat a variety of nutritious foods. Do not take drugs, smoke, and eliminate other habits that are harmful to health.
- Aerobic exercise is very beneficial. Get in the habit of exercising on a treadmill for 30 minutes or walking for 30 minutes.
- Yoga is useful for relieving stress.
- Eat fish, whole grains, fruits, and drink water as needed.
Step 7. Meditate and say a meaningful mantra over and over again
Saying a positive or negative message has a big impact on the soul. Fill your mind with useful things to replace thoughts that disturb the peace of life with positive thoughts. Choose a mantra that helps you live your daily life well and say it when you are feeling stressed while contemplating its meaning. Example of a spell:
- "Change as you wish." (Mahatma Gandhi)
- "Action is the opposite of despair." (Joan Baez)
- "No one can free your mind but yourself." (Bob Marley)
- "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Step 8. Determine what life means to you
People who think life has a purpose tend to be happier than those who think life is meaningless. Have you ever taken the time to think about the meaning of life? No one yet knows the answer to this universal question. However, you can determine the meaning of life for yourself. If you have determined the meaning of life, you will always be excited when you wake up in the morning, even in the most dire of situations.
- Many people find meaning in life by participating in religious activities or enhancing spiritual abilities.
- Studying philosophy is a way of developing a perspective on life.
- In the sphere of personal life, relationships, work, talents, or something unique can be the aspects of life that are most meaningful to you.
Step 9. Set aside time to enjoy the fun things in everyday life
Think of a few things in your daily life that make you feel comfortable or calm, such as drinking coffee in the morning, walking to work while enjoying the warm sun, or taking advantage of your break by stretching. Give yourself time to relax and enjoy fun things. This method is useful for recording positive thoughts in memory and can be played back when you experience a bad situation.
Step 10. Help others
You will experience something positive even if it is just doing something that seems trivial, such as helping someone carry groceries. The positive impact will be more pronounced if you give more energy by volunteering. Determine what you are capable of giving to others and then share generously as often as possible.
Feel like you have nothing to share? Find a shelter for the homeless in your city and then volunteer a few hours a week. You will experience for yourself how precious every minute is given to help them
Method 3 of 3: Seeking Information for Therapy or Medical Treatment
Step 1. Find out the techniques used in cognitive therapy to determine the most appropriate therapy for you
When undergoing therapy, most of the time is used to deal with problems experienced in daily life. The therapist will help you identify the causes of negative thoughts and behaviors, change them, and reduce their effects. You will work with the therapist as a team to make joint decisions about what needs to be discussed and determine the 'homework' you need to complete.
- Cognitive therapy has been shown to be as effective as antidepressants for treating mild to moderate depression.
- Cognitive therapy is as effective as antidepressants at preventing depression recurrence.
- The benefits of cognitive therapy are only felt after a few weeks.
- If cognitive therapy is the right option for you, make an appointment with a therapist. Look for a therapist online or ask a doctor for a referral.
Step 2. Find out if interpersonal therapy is right for you
This therapy is very beneficial for people who have interpersonal problems. Therapy sessions last 1 hour per week and are short-term therapy for 12-16 weeks. Interpersonal therapy aims to overcome interpersonal conflicts, change one's role in social life, overcome grief, and provide solutions to develop social skills.
- The therapist will apply several techniques when providing therapy, such as empathetic listening, role simulation and communication analysis.
- Find an interpersonal therapist if this is the right option for you. Search the internet for a therapist in your city, for example through a practicing psychologist's website. If you live in the US, find a therapist via the Psychology Today website.
Step 3. Find information about therapy for families
Therapists who work with family problems help you resolve conflicts that occur in the family. The therapist will hold a consultation session according to the problem at hand and family members who wish to participate may participate in the consultation. The therapist will look into your family's ability to cope with problems, the role of each family member, and determine the strengths and weaknesses of the family as a unit.
- Therapy for the family is very useful to help someone who is having problems in living a household life.
- Find a therapist for the family and then make an appointment to see if this therapy is best for you. Look for information on the internet, for example by accessing the psychologist's practice website. If you live in the US, look for information on the website of The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists.
Step 4. Seek information about acceptance and commitment therapy
This therapy is based on the idea that increased well-being and happiness can be achieved by eliminating negative thoughts, feelings, and associations. The therapist will help you change the way you perceive negative things so that you can live your life with positive thoughts.
Find an acceptance and commitment therapist online and make an appointment for a consultation if this option suits your needs. If you live in the US, find information by accessing The Association for Contextual Behavioral Science website
Step 5. Make sure you choose the most appropriate therapist
Before choosing a therapist, find out his educational background and qualifications. Ask how much therapy costs you have to pay and whether or not there is cooperation with the insurance company. In addition, ask for an explanation of the therapeutic procedure and the things you need to prepare before consulting.
- Consult a therapist who is certified and able to provide the therapy with the specialization you need.
- Ask how much therapy costs per session and registration fees (if any) so you can choose a therapist that fits your financial capabilities.
- Ask how many days you should consult, how long therapy sessions will last, and whether the therapist is committed to keeping patient confidentiality.
Step 6. Talk to your doctor if the above treatments don't make you feel better
Sometimes depression is so difficult to overcome that many people consult a doctor for a solution. Before seeking a therapist, consult with a doctor you know. If not, find a doctor or psychiatrist at the nearest clinic and make an appointment for a consultation.
Step 7. Prepare to consult a doctor
Many people associate the doctor's office with blood tests and taking samples to send to the laboratory. However, the results of laboratory tests can not reveal the cause of depression. The doctor will examine you physically and interview you to determine if you have a depressive disorder. In general, the doctor will ask if you experience any of the following.
- Sadness or feeling depressed.
- Changes in weight.
- Fatigue.
- Insomnia.
- Thinking about death or suicide.
- Doctors will use the results of laboratory tests to determine whether depression is caused by a physical condition.
Step 8. Ask your doctor if you need to take medication
Often, doctors recommend therapy for depression. In addition, depression can be overcome by taking medication. If your doctor prescribes medication, you should follow his advice as best you can. Antidepressants must be taken as prescribed by a doctor.
Depression can be cured by taking Paxil, Lexapro, Zoloft, and Prozac according to a doctor's prescription. Each drug has a different effect for each patient, but these drugs usually provide maximum results if taken for approximately one month
Tips
- Don't act impulsively with others just because you indulge in negative emotions. Try to calm your mind by writing a novel, chatting with friends, painting, taking a leisurely walk, etc.
- Don't wallow in self-pity. If the situation is irreversible, try to calm your mind, think about how to respond rationally, and then determine what action you can take.
- Solve problems by trying to find solutions, instead of just sitting around.
- Immediately call Halo Kemkes (area code) 500567 if you need help or are suicidal. If you live in the US, call 1-800-273-8255.
- If you have a problem, think about what caused it and try to solve it as best you can.
Warning
- Do not take drugs and alcohol when you are feeling depressed because it will lead to dependence and addiction for life.
- If you need help in an emergency because you are suicidal, call Halo Kemkes (area code) 500567. If you live in the US, call 1-800-273-8255.
