It's hard to come back from a breakup, but it may be even more difficult if you still love your ex. The first and most important step to getting up and breaking up is to limit contact with your ex. Find ways to occupy yourself with constructive activities. Maybe it's a good idea to try to gradually accept the end of your relationship, close the old pages of life, and start a new story. Remember that at this time, the situation may seem difficult to get through. However, with time, things will get better.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Staying away from Ex-Girlfriend
Step 1. Stop contacting him, send him short messages and emails
In order to forget him, you need to stay away from him. Therefore, set a rule not to contact him. Actually, this rule is not made to create tension or make him miss you, but to give you a chance to recuperate and start a new chapter of life without him.
- If it's too difficult, find an activity to do or ask a friend to help you stay away from your ex. You can also temporarily move their phone number and email address to your block list. Once you feel more comfortable, you can unblock it.
- If you have to connect with him (eg because you have children/pets, or work in the same place), of course you can't completely cut off contact with him. In situations like this, try to limit contact by discussing things related to a specific context (eg a work project).
Step 2. Unfollow him on social media until your feelings/wounds subside
Browsing through his feed page or seeing him in a new persona won't bring you back from your sadness. Stop following him so you can focus on yourself. In addition, you will avoid the temptation to contact him again.
You can always follow it back later
Step 3. Avoid places he frequents
Meeting your ex-girlfriend at a bar or cafe not only makes the situation feel awkward, but it can also "disrupt" your recovery process. Try to find new places to go that, of course, aren't places he's frequented or places you've both been.
If at any time you run into or meet him, make sure your interactions with him remain brief. Short greetings like “Hi!” before leaving it felt right
Step 4. Restore, keep, or discard “mementoes” from your relationship
Limit your musings about the breakup or good times with him by throwing away gifts, personal items, or other things that make you think about him. Send back any items he might want, put any mementos you want to keep in the box, and donate or throw away any remaining items.
Throwing away or keeping things that remind you of him not only helps you to get away from him, but also becomes a symbol of starting a new life with new things and memories
Method 2 of 3: Keeping yourself busy
Step 1. Take care of things that were left behind
A new haircut, an interesting class, an exciting hobby, or a motivational goal can help you rekindle the fire of passion and happiness in life. Think about aspects of yourself that have been neglected in your relationship, and nurture or re-emphasize those aspects.
For example, if your ex-boyfriend feels that your dream of traveling the world is crazy, start planning the trip you forgot about. If your ex-boyfriend often dictates the clothes you wear, try developing a new style of dress or clothing collection
Step 2. Spend time with friends and family
Take advantage of the support network to help you get over it. Fill your social calendar with fun activities, like spending an evening with friends or having a fun vacation with your family.
If you need to vent your emotions, tell the people you care about how you feel and explain what they can do to help you. For example, you could say, "I need a hug right now."
Step 3. Practice taking care of yourself
Create a new routine that emphasizes self-care and love. Establish a new reading or writing habit, do relaxation exercises to relieve stress, or make a membership in a new gym.
Relationships, of course, require a lot of time and effort. Use the present moment to focus on yourself, without feeling guilty
Step 4. Date the new person once it's ready
You may feel that you will never find someone like your ex. However, how will you know if you have never met another person? Try not to push yourself to find the "right" person at first and just focus on meeting new, interesting people.
- Dating someone else can make you feel more attractive and desirable-both things that may be difficult for you to feel after a breakup.
- Even though casual dates can be fun, make sure you don't use them as a cover for your inner wounds. Only go back to dating when you feel like you've recovered from the breakup and can move on with your life.
Method 3 of 3: Making Peace with the End of Relationship
Step 1. Try not to turn your feelings off
Maybe you are driven to get rid of emotional wounds and negative thoughts by eating low-nutrient foods, shopping excessively, or consuming alcohol or drugs. However, this kind of "quick fix" won't last long. These things will only make you feel down again (even worse).
Instead of adopting “self-destructive” habits to deal with your feelings, do things that are constructive, such as exercising, eating healthy, and leaning on your friends
Step 2. Give yourself time to grieve
Holding on to feelings will only make it difficult for you to rise from sadness. Try shouting, crying, or expressing your feelings when you start to get overwhelmed with all the emotions. Allow yourself to feel the emotions present. Also, try not to judge yourself.
- Set a time limit for mourning your relationship. You can set the time for two days, two weeks, or two months. Give yourself "permission" to grieve or grieve for a moment. At this point, you may feel angry, confused, or perhaps relieved.
- After the grieving moment is over, try to reconnect with your life and the outside world. For example, you can do simple things like visit your friend's house in the afternoon.
Step 3. Stop imagining it
Take note of his bad qualities, as well as the reasons why you should end your relationship with him. This way, you can destroy the view that you have lost your best person. It also helps you maintain an objective point of view.
Make a list of the bad qualities your ex-boyfriend has so you don't just focus on the good things. For example, you could write down some of the tough times you've had, like when he cheated on you, lied, or couldn't support you
Step 4. Send love and support every time you remember
You can't just forget someone you care about so much that you don't think that your love for them will disappear right away. Instead of getting annoyed with yourself for still loving him, direct that love in a positive light. Send him good wishes every time you think of him.
- For example, if memories of him come back to you, you can say out loud, "I hope he lives a healthy and happy life." Take a deep breath, exhale, and resume your activities.
- Don't torture yourself if you still love him, even long after the relationship ends. It doesn't matter if the love is still there. However, this does not necessarily mean that you have to continue in a relationship that is not going well.
Step 5. Write him a letter to end your hurt
Explain in detail about the things that triggered the breakup, how you feel, and anything else you want to express. Try to identify the "role" you play and try to forgive him for the things he did.
- You can send the letter if you want, but you can also burn it or tear it up.
- Make peace with the things that happen in your relationship so you can forget the past and get back to life. In addition, acceptance also helps you learn important things that should not be repeated in the future.
Step 6. Be patient
Forgetting someone you love takes time. Therefore, try not to push yourself. Try to live each day and take one step at a time to recover. Over time, your feelings will begin to improve and you can look to the future with hope and a more positive outlook.
