Talking to someone you are interested in can be very disconcerting, especially when you have no idea what you are doing. If you have trouble communicating with your crush, read on and learn how to find topics.
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Method 1 of 2: Getting Comfortable
Step 1. Develop your interests
You don't have to be super smart to find things to talk about, but you do need likes and interests. Someone who can naturally talk about the things he or she is interested in will always carry a better conversation than someone who is prepared with written instructions and vague expectations of getting a date.
- Make a short list. Write down everything you are interested in. Better to detail each one. For example, instead of writing “music,” write “plays classical guitar, goes to concerts, collects old funk LPs.”
- Develop each list into a topic. Using the example above, you can think about what brand of guitar you own or rent with what brand you expect, what concerts you've been to, what ben you enjoy.
- Make mental notes of your opinion on each topic. This will help you get to know yourself better. When you talk about an issue you are interested in, you can confidently talk about it and explain why you are interested in it, which will lead to a good conversation.
Step 2. Practice saying something out loud
Get used to talking, or you'll never be able to speak well. The easiest and simplest thing to be comfortable with is with your voice and by "talking" rather than simply responding to other people.
- Looking for a time and place. Whenever you are home alone, it is a good choice. It doesn't need to be regularly scheduled; The important thing is to take advantage of the opportunities that exist.
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Say something. Try to say a little about something rather than just a few words. Tell yourself the storyline of the last TV show you watched. If you have no idea what to say, find a book and read aloud from its contents.
- When you're reading a book, try to make your words sound natural, rather than the rigid reading that people do. Read a sentence or two in your head first, then say it out loud assuming it's something you've thought of yourself.
- Books dealing with poetry are perfect for this. Poetry is always meant to be read aloud and it takes concentration to read poetry naturally it will annoy you because it makes you feel stupid.
- Keep talking for a bit longer. Try to say it out loud for at least a minute. After a while, this will help you get used to starting a conversation and speaking your mind, which is an important skill to make a good impression on the person you like.
Step 3. Talk to women
Whenever you interact with women on a regular basis – work, school, club, or elsewhere – try to have a short conversation with them. This will teach you there is nothing to be afraid of talking to women, even if you like them.
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Start with people you already interact with, such as coworkers. Ask how they are doing this week and use a few short questions to encourage them to talk more. Most women will be happy to talk to in a short time.
If a woman asks again after she has told you about it, be polite and tell her, in the same detail as she did. (Don't think about the fact that you're practicing speaking better to women)
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Be friendly with project partners. Whether at school or during community service, you will often be paired with a partner. If your partner is a woman you don't know very well, a little hospitality will put each other at ease in the future.
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Try to talk about the project instead of asking about it. If he responds well, go ahead and mix it up with small talk and simple questions as you continue.
Don't ask about him or his life. Instead, ask him what he thinks about other people, like the teacher, or an upcoming event that you both know about
- Don't talk too often. Show that you're primarily interested in being helpful and completing your project together. Speak as thoughts come to you, rather than pushing the conversation along.
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Method 2 of 2: Talk to Him
Step 1. Stay prepared
If you want to make a good impression on a girl, the very least you can do is control your behavior and your hygiene. Stay ready. If you want to make a good impression on the woman, the least you can do is control her attitude and hygiene.
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Maintain daily hygiene such as bathing, washing your face, brushing your teeth and taking care of your hair. Use deodorant. Trim your nails regularly.
If you use cologne, remember: a little is a lot. Spray just enough on your wrists and the base of your neck that you can smell about a foot or two away at most, but no more. A good cologne will dry out and last a few hours; no need to re-spray
- Always dress your best. Wear clean clothes and plan your clothes the night before you put them on so you don't have to change suddenly.
- Always in the best attitude. You don't have to stop being the class clown if that's what you are, but you don't have to say or do anything that she doesn't want her to know. You never know what will get back to her. Be kind and forgiving of others and avoid getting into trouble with important people.
Step 2. Initiate the approach
Whenever you find a good opportunity to talk to your crush alone for a while, even if there are other people around, go ahead and do it.
- Get his attention. Call out his name and wave to him with a smile. Show you are happy when you see it.
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Meet him. Start going after him after he acknowledges you. Don't wait for him to come to you. Show that you are proactive and confident by closing the distance between the two of you.
If he seems disappointed or annoyed by your greeting or tries to pretend he didn't hear him, then he's not even interested in you. Stop your loss and forget about it. You deserve someone who is happy to meet you
Step 3. Speak
By this time, you should be comfortable talking to women and confident that you are a pretty dancer with lots of topics to talk about. This is your chance to leave a good impression with the skills you have developed.
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If you don't know your crush, introduce yourself and tell them where you've met them. If he remembers, he is likely to ask polite questions, such as "what's wrong?" or "how are you?". Don't answer indifferently; instead, think ahead and answer with something that will move your conversation further.
If all else fails, say that you've met her and are thinking of going up to her and catching up. This allows you to be the conversation leader for the next sentence
Step 4. Continue the conversation a little longer
Ask him about people and places that others know about. Respond lightly when he answers your questions and use polite jokes to express your opinion.
For example, if your fellow is taking a class with a teacher named Mr. Smith who always looks tired, you could ask him about Mr. Smith and respond with your observations about how tired he always looks after he answers
Step 5. Stay positive
Smile and don't be afraid to stare at him when he talks. Remember the old saying: “laugh and the world will laugh with you; cry and you cry alone. We leave the best impressions when we make others feel good to be around us.
Leave serious and sad topics out of the conversation. If someone brings it up (for example, he's asking someone and you know he just died), be honest, but don't let this conversation settle here
Step 6. Take initiative
If there is silence in the conversation, but otherwise things go well, let them know about an event close to you that relates to one of your personal interests. Continuing with the musical as an example from earlier, you could mention a concert you went to recently or an album you bought recently.
Don't go deep into just your interests. Keep the topic general enough that he can follow through without having special knowledge. Leave plenty of room for him to tuck in or change the topic. The important thing is to keep your conversation interesting and lively
Step 7. Ask for the contact number
Tell him it was pleasant enough to talk to him and suggest that your neighbor meet again soon, then ask for his contact number. Depending on how slow you want it to be, asking her for a phone number right away may not always be the right move, but it's better than simply saying goodbye and asking her out at a moment's notice.
Alternatively, ask to be friends on Facebook or ask for their email address. It's less blatantly asking him out on a date than directly asking a woman's phone number and most people don't mind giving out information online
Step 8. Leave it
Say that you will be calling soon (or vice versa via another contact) and leave him with a smile and a wave. If all goes well, you can look forward to going out together or possibly a first date in a week or two.
