Many people (if not all) have been in contact with spoiled children. But how do you deal with someone who is annoying, selfish, and always wants to win? It's important to know how to deal with it in order to maintain your sanity and avoid unpleasant and unimportant confrontations. Take steps to avoid conflicts and problems, especially if you know you're going to face them. In addition, you can also learn how to effectively resolve conflicts and problems that occur.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Resolving Conflicts and Problems
Step 1. Control your emotions when conflict occurs
In order to effectively resolve the issue with the spoiled one, first take a deep breath and control your emotions. You may feel angry or upset at this stage, but it is important that you remain tactful and calm in this situation. This way, you can effectively resolve the conflict and not allow anger to make the situation worse.
Don't take his words to heart. Often times, when things heat up someone says hurtful things. The spoiled child may scream and scream "No!" at you, or a spoiled friend might yell at you in public and say hurtful things. Remember that his behavior is based on anger and that he is not being the same person he is. You are just an outlet that he uses to get what he wants, and his words have nothing to do with you as an individual
Step 2. Get out of the way if the conflict gets out of hand
If you're having trouble keeping your emotions in check, don't hesitate to step away and calm yourself down. This moment is useful if you are feeling depressed, angry, or upset with the spoiled one.
You could say that you are not emotionally ready to discuss the conflict at this time and need some time alone. You can also order the spoiled child to come into his room for 10-15 minutes while you process the conflict. By taking the time to observe your emotions, you can better handle conflicts as they arise
Step 3. Law him privately
Don't discipline the spoiled person by shaming him or her as this will only lead to more conflicts and problems in the future. Try holding a private meeting with him to discuss his behavior, or invite your child to chat privately to discuss the problems that occur. That way, you can have a one-on-one chat with him and teach him the consequences of his actions.
For example, maybe the spoiled person spoke harshly to your partner and called him a bad name. You can talk to him alone and explain that his actions hurt your partner's feelings, and are disrespectful to you and your partner. Ask him to apologize for his behavior. Having a closed discussion allows you to let him know that he made a mistake, and you want to help him work things out together
Step 4. Provide some solutions to the problem
Try suggesting a few options or ways to compromise when dealing with a conflict with the spoiled one. Use specific suggestions and steps that you can both follow to resolve the issue. However, this doesn't necessarily mean you have to negotiate or forgive him because he is the one who should be held accountable for his actions. Provide some solutions to keep the discussion open and fair.
For example, maybe your child doesn't want to finish his dinner. You can provide several solutions, such as asking him to finish at least five tablespoons of food or telling him to go to bed hungry. There is a possibility that he will choose the first option because of course he does not want to sleep on an empty stomach
Part 2 of 3: Disciplining the Spoiled One and Setting Boundaries
Step 1. Immediately set clear rules and boundaries
One way to avoid conflicts and problems when dealing with a spoiled person is to make sure you set rules and boundaries from the start. He must know the rules and boundaries to be aware when he violates them. You can set simple rules, such as always saying “Please” and “Thank you” after getting something from someone else, or always asking permission/sorry when you sneeze. You also need to teach him to always follow all the rules and restrictions set because these two things can limit his behavior.
- You can set eating rules or etiquette from the start, such as saying "Please" and "Thank you" to the waiter, not keeping your elbows on the table (though not really important, this is considered more polite because some people don't like it), chewing food gently keep your mouth shut, and ask permission when you have to leave the table. Enforcement of etiquette and eating procedures like this helps him to remain calm while eating.
- You can also set other rules in public places, such as holding hands in a crowded place so he doesn't “run away” or making sure he comes when his name is called. You can also teach him the consequences for his spoiled behavior in public, as this will keep him from acting out.
- If you're dealing with a spoiled adult, set boundaries and rules directly. You can let him know that you can't always answer his calls or messages every hour, and you will keep clear boundaries in life. Setting firm and direct boundaries and rules can prevent problems in the future.
Step 2. Follow a daily routine or schedule
You should have a schedule of events and activities planned for your little one so that he or she knows what to do and doesn't feel confused or surprised. Changes in his routine can trigger a tantrum and prompt him to act out.
Try to follow the same daily routine for your little one, such as waking him up at the same time every day and planning recreational activities on the same day each week. You can also let him know early on that there will be a change in his routine so he won't be surprised. His behavior can be triggered by a change, but at least you can say you warned him from the start
Step 3. Recognize and reward good behavior
Sometimes it's easy to overlook moments when your little one could play quietly alone or with their sibling in public, and only think about their annoying behavior. However, try to be able to acknowledge and reward the good behavior that the "spoiled" shows.
You can reward his behavior with sweet words. Take the time to tell him, “Wow! Mom/Dad are glad you can play well with your brother/sister!” or “Whoa! I'm glad you can stay calm!” You can also take him on a trip or do fun activities together
Step 4. Develop good communication
Instruct your child to start his sentence with the word "I" when he wants to express his emotions and feelings so that he can communicate clearly with you and others. Have him practice saying such sentences and encourage him to use these sentences when interacting with other adults and children.
If your child doesn't speak yet, teach him baby language to express what he wants. You can teach her certain actions to show her feelings or desires, such as hunger, attention, or sleepiness
Step 5. Feel free to say “No” if necessary
While you can't always question her behavior or respond to her every time she acts, you also have to be willing to say "No." You may have tried other tactics to distract him or direct his focus to something else, but to no avail. For situations like this, you must be more assertive and dare to say "No". Say it firmly and clearly. After that, take the item he is having trouble with or take him to cry in a closed place.
Part 3 of 3: Preventing Bad Behavior
Step 1. Identify the triggers for the bad behavior
To reduce the likelihood of your child being spoiled, you need to identify the triggers for his bad behavior. Your little one may be triggered when he is with other children who are spoiled and disrespectful, or when he is left in a strange place.
Some triggers are physical, such as hunger. Usually, bad behavior appears when your child is very tired and has not eaten. Maybe he also has certain medical conditions, such as allergies that make him nag and throw tantrums
Step 2. Plan for those triggers so they can be avoided
Make sure your child gets enough sleep and gets snacks throughout the day so they don't get hungry. You also need to keep him away from areas or places that trigger his medical condition because these places can provoke conflict or trouble.
- Ask him to observe and comment on his behavior so he can learn to solve his own problems. This prompts him to want to deal with bad behavior himself and stop being spoiled.
- For example, you could say that he tends to come home from school in a bad mood and vent his emotions out on his little brother. Ask him, "What can you do other than fight with your sister?" He may be able to come up with a solution himself, such as “Maybe I can spend some time alone in my room drawing and listening to music.”
Step 3. Don't be overprotective
The spoiled one needs to learn that his behavior has consequences. When you are overprotective, he can't develop and mature. Everyone must learn to handle difficult situations and be responsible, especially spoiled children.
- Don't help him in every difficult situation.
- Let him occasionally make mistakes.
Step 4. Let him try to get his reward
You can teach him patience and gratitude by encouraging him to reach certain goals and rewarding himself. You don't have to offer encouragement or rewards for everything he does. Giving him whatever he asked for would only spoil him.
