You are married and become a man bound by marriage vows. All the promises you made to your wife really matter now. This is the time to show the right course of action. Be grateful, being a good husband is something that is possible. Everything is about following your heart, conscience, and showing love for your wife. These easy steps if taken seriously can help you and your partner achieve a brighter future.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Be a Good Man
Step 1. Act like a gentleman, if your wife likes it
Most women, crave a real man who is nice and fun. If your wife is that kind of woman, be prepared to show a chivalrous side of yourself. Imagine the attitude of people in the 17th century or something like this:
- Kiss him when you meet and say goodbye.
- Bring her heavy shopping bag.
- Open the door for him.
- Pay for expenses on a date.
Of course, there are times when he doesn't want you to treat him like a real man. If he doesn't want to, don't take it to heart. Continue to be sweet, even if you don't give her special treatment
Step 2. Respect your wife
Respect is an act of understanding. Understand that your wife is an independent and different person. He may not want to do the exact same thing as you, even if you both share the same interests. Here are some examples of ways you can appreciate your wife:
- Keep your promise. Do what you have said. If you say you're going to do the dishes, don't hesitate to do it and make excuses while he takes over your responsibilities.
- On time. If you're going somewhere at a certain time, for example picking up the kids at daycare, then go. Your wife's time is as valuable as yours. Appreciate it.
- Stop assuming. Don't just assume that your wife will do something because she is your wife or a woman. Establish good communication relationships. Learn how to ask for help.
- Listen to what he has to say. Don't pretend to be listening. Listen to him earnestly. Sometimes, the only thing we want is a good listener or a shoulder to lean on. Let him speak and absorb what he has to say.
Step 3. Don't lie
Get in the habit of telling the truth. Ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your wife was keeping everything except her birthday. Always tell him where you've been if he wants to know. Tell him who you are with. Say your goal, even if you think it's something trivial. Being open and never lying will build good verbal communication which is the key to a good relationship.
Step 4. Don't cheat
This is well known, but remains to be mentioned. Cheating is a form of lying. You wouldn't accept it if your wife had a relationship with someone else, so why would you do it? If you are in a relationship with another person, take a good look at your life and ask yourself why you married the person you married.
- If you love your wife but are still after other women, realize how unfair this situation is. You want comfort for your wife, but you are not willing to put her first and be honest with her. This is a very selfish attitude. You can't do both things at the same time.
- If you don't love your wife anymore, then why are you still married to her? It might be so much better if both of you were given the chance to find someone you really love or someone to love. Think about it.
Step 5. Reduce laziness
Laziness is a major discomfort for women and also a bad habit. Laziness doesn't mean watching football on Sunday. Laziness does not mean doing something you should or want to do, but that you are reluctant to do it. Get all the trash out of the house and surprise your wife by cleaning the house once a week or doing some exercise to show that you have self-respect. This method will make a big difference.
Step 6. Try not to be selfish
We can argue for hours about how selfish humans are, but one thing is for sure: even though we are selfish, we have the ability to be unselfish. Love must awaken that selflessness. Instead of always asking what you can do for yourself, start asking what you can do for your wife or what you can do for the good of your marriage.
- Reduce jealousy. You may always be jealous and that's natural, as long as you try to keep it from affecting your wife's happiness. (Maybe a good sign if you're jealous). Because jealousy can be very selfish. Don't stop your wife from doing something just because you're jealous.
- Compromise. Learn how to compromise. Often what you want and what your wife wants will be very different. In this case, adjust your expectations. Don't always expect to get what you want or "win" the debate.
Step 7. Don't raise your voice, shout, or physically hurt him
Your wife trusts you to maintain her comfort and safety. Don't set a bad example and don't let your emotions get the better of you.
- Control the tone of voice when arguing whenever possible:
- Refrain from attacking your wife's personality. The following not healthy way to argue:
- Do not beat, restrain, or threaten your wife with violence. Don't try to use your physique to master it. Your wife can report you to the police.
“I'm afraid we're not running our budget. I don't blame you for everything that happened. I'm just looking for happiness for our marriage and I want to discuss with you how we can both change the habit of using money."
"Oh yeah? You really want to make sure our kids get into good schools? Why don't you talk to your ex-girlfriend who's the principal? Looks like your relationship with him has failed."
Part 2 of 3: Showing Love
Step 1. Find simple ways to make her feel happy
This is funny because often the little things can be a way to nurture a relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do to make my wife happier? You don't have to do anything extraordinary to be effective. What matters most is the idea behind the method and the emotions involved. That's a real treat:
- Try to maintain a better relationship with your in-laws. Few things are more important to him than you having a casual relationship with his parents. You may not see your in-laws every day, but that doesn't mean it doesn't make any sense. In conclusion, he wants you to love his parents as you love your own.
- Does your wife really care about charity? Invest in a micro-lending program on his behalf and give this investment to him as a gift. Now he is a proud recipient of investments because he can provide good opportunities for others.
- Do things around the house that he usually doesn't like. For example, if your wife doesn't like doing the dishes, create a "dish-free" card that's valid for a week with no dishwashing obligations.
Step 2. Be open
It may seem strange, but being open with your partner is a sign of affection. This attitude shows that you trust him and more importantly you enjoy being around him emotionally. Women are used to their emotions. Men often don't. Being open will convince him that you are doing it for him.
Step 3. Show her love
Why did you marry her in the first place? Show him why you love him and how he affects how you feel every day. Do this as often as possible. This will create good habits, lead to greater love and affection in your marriage, and reduce stress.
- Write a short letter. Place it under the pillow. When you kiss him in the morning to say goodbye, ask him to check under the pillow. The note could contain something like: “Every day I'm with you, I learn more that it's impossible for me to be lucky enough to have you. I love you."
- Approach him from behind when he knows you're in the same room and give him a hearty kiss on the neck while hugging him. This attitude will melt his heart.
- Make a romantic fortune cookie. Find a way to insert a piece of paper into the cake that your wife will find later when she breaks it. The writing on the paper could read something like this: “Only you can break my heart…”
Step 4. Be supportive
Support him with his honesty. Supporting her when she wants to take Latin dance classes or when she wants to go out with her friends will make her feel safe and take calculated risks. When he has nothing to rely on, he knows he can count on you to be his support, inspiration, and guide.
When your wife is feeling down, find ways to make her happy again. Bring breakfast to bed, massage her feet, or rent her favorite movie. Again, small things can mean big
Step 5. Take yourself back to the romantic times
It may not be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning, but romance is essential to a healthy marriage. Don't just assume that because you're married, you shouldn't try to be romantic with your wife anymore. This thinking is not only wrong but also eliminates the pleasant things in marriage. What if your wife decides to ignore her weight once she's married? So act like a man and do manly things. Be romantic.
- Go on a date night at least once a month. Some couples plan to date each week, but once a month is sufficient. Plan a date that reminds you of a date you've had before in your courtship or plan a date that sparks enthusiasm: such as skydiving, watching whales and dolphins in their habitat, or watching a movie.
- Celebrate your wedding anniversary. Your wedding anniversary is very important to your partner and it should be for you too. This celebration has a symbolic meaning as well as provides an opportunity to renew your love. Forgetting a wedding anniversary is something wrong. At the very least, plan to have dinner with cold wine.
- Strengthen intimate relationships in bed. Don't let things fade in bed or go unappreciated. Find ways to please your wife as she pleases you and explore both sides of your sexuality.
Part 3 of 3: Bringing All the Elements together
Step 1. Trust him with all your heart
Much of what is mentioned in this tutorial revolves around trust. If you don't trust your partner, you may be living in a miserable environment. Learn to trust your wife as much as you want her to trust you.
Step 2. Show your personality
Marriage is a lasting opportunity to get to know someone better and better over the years. If you keep aspects of your personality secret or are secretive, you may not get what you want from your marriage. This proves that you get what you give.
Have long conversations, make him laugh, share interests, hobbies, and work with him, take him somewhere that has special meaning for you, encourage him to get to know your extended family (and do the same for his family), involve him in debate, and share your fears, doubts, and helplessness with them. Be yourself, not the person you think your wife wants you to be
Step 3. Remember the rules of reciprocity
The rule of reciprocity is not only important in terms of morality, but also guides us through the ripples of marriage. The rule of reciprocity is when you treat others the same way you want others to treat you. The point is to put yourself in the other person's shoes before acting.
Of course, you need to have the right perspective if you're going to use the reciprocal rule. You can't lie to yourself about what other people want. If you are in doubt about something, ask yourself “What would I want to happen if I were in my wife's shoes?” This is a good exercise for you
Step 4. If you are a religious person, share any religious knowledge you know with your wife
Use your beliefs as strength and find meaning with your partner in your life journey. Surrender yourself completely to your wife as you surrender yourself to God. In the meantime, maintain the values you believe in.
Step 5. Be proud of how you look
Of course, the most important thing is to look clean and tidy both inside and outside the house. Make sure you maintain the same hygiene as your wife does. If you care about how well your wife dresses and how often she brushes her teeth, she certainly cares about the same thing. That's the way it should be between two people who love each other, isn't it?
Tips
- Protect and take care of your wife as if she is your true happiness!
- Trust him!
- Put the time and effort into it.
- Always tell the truth, no matter how painful it is for him. It's better for you to tell him directly than for him to find out from someone else.
- Listen to what he has to say and use his words as constructive and not just talk.
- Be patient with yourself. Being a good husband takes time.
- In front of her friends, show your wife how much you love her. For example say how beautiful she is.
- Be romantic. Every now and then, buy her a gift when you feel she deserves it. But don't be too expensive, you certainly don't want to spoil it.
- Help the family by doing things like shopping or fixing things at home.
