Not everyone wants to fall in love. In fact, there are many people who want to stop falling in love, perhaps because they have just experienced a painful breakup or because they are trying to break a negative relationship pattern. So do you? If so, chances are that you are currently having trouble controlling the feelings that arise. In fact, doing it is not as difficult as moving mountains, really, as long as you are able to focus on yourself and apply various strategies to minimize the potential for the appearance of liking to others. Also, evaluate the reasons behind your tendency to push someone away. By doing so, sooner or later, you will be helped to break the chain of unhealthy relationships in the past.
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Method 1 of 3: Focusing Your Attention on Yourself
Step 1. Let other people know about your desire to be single
If you're really serious about eliminating all potential partners, don't hesitate to share your intentions with everyone in your circle of friends and family.
- For example, you can add the caption “happy single” in your social media profile to let everyone know your intentions. That way, they won't try to set you up with someone or encourage others to approach you romantically.
- If someone likes you, make it clear that you want to be single and make it clear that you only see them as friends.
Step 2. Busy yourself to achieve your goals
Avoid falling in love by focusing entirely on career development or other life accomplishments. If you want, you can also create a board containing various visions of life and not include everything related to romantic relationships in it. Set clear goals in life that need to be achieved, then make those goals your main focus in living life.
However, always remember that being too goal-oriented can also damage your social relationships with friends and relatives
Step 3. Ask the people closest to you to control yourself
Avoiding a potential partner forever is impossible. For example, you can always meet a potential person in the office or cafe, right? Therefore, to prevent the emergence of emotions that are too strong, ask for the help of closest friends and relatives to remind you to always step on earth. Explain your reluctance and unpreparedness to fall in love and ask them to help you make that wish come true.
For example, enlist the help of a coworker at work to remind you of your purpose in life whenever you seem too comfortable with a joke from a guy you just met. Also enlist the help of a friend to block your view of the handsome waiter at the bar
Step 4. Take care of yourself
Self-care is actually an important factor in the process of healing wounds or emotional anxiety. Therefore, practice the habit of taking care of yourself regularly and put your health and well-being above all else. Keep doing it even if you're in love with someone else!
Some ways to take care of yourself include eating a nutritious diet, exercising at least 30 minutes a day, getting at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night, and making time for your hobbies
Step 5. Fall in love with yourself
The best way to reduce the potential for liking someone else is to love yourself. Sometimes, the tendency to date someone for too short a time appears in people who feel unattractive or unwanted. As a result, if you are able to take good care of yourself and give enough attention to yourself, the desire to depend on others will not arise.
- Always remember your privilege by saying positive sentences every heart. Celebrate your privilege too by having dinner at a quality restaurant, watching a movie at the cinema, or attending a concert alone. Praise yourself as your partner compliments you, and give yourself a meaningful gift on a regular basis.
- In addition, the behavior of loving and respecting yourself will indirectly influence others to treat you the same way. As a result, when you finally enter a romantic relationship, your partner will immediately know the right way to treat you. Therefore, always treat yourself with love, kindness and appreciation!
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with the Person You Are and Once You Like
Step 1. Keep your distance from him
The most important factor in controlling your crush on someone is minimizing the time you spend with them. Whenever possible, avoid the person! If you can't avoid it completely, make sure the two of you don't spend time without the other person.
- For example, if he asks you out for a drink at a cafe, offer to invite other friends of yours to limit the time you have to spend alone with him.
- Instead, surround yourself with friends and relatives who are positive, upbeat, and can make you feel better. They are people who will definitely accept and support your feelings. In addition, they are also definitely willing to respect and understand your decisions in life.
Step 2. Block him in cyberspace
Continuing to interact online with the person will only confuse your feelings. Therefore, don't forget to keep your distance from him in cyberspace! For example, end friendships with them on social media or if it feels too extreme, try downloading an app to control your social media usage. If you can't access your Facebook account, of course you won't be able to find and access the account, right?
Promise not to access social media at times that are classified as vulnerable. If necessary, you can also use smartphone apps like Freedom or SelfControl to control your internet usage
Step 3. Get rid of the words of temptation and seduction
Remember, you should also control the person's feelings, if possible. Therefore, do not do or say anything that gives him positive hope. For example, don't give compliments, touches, or stares that could potentially send a "I like you" message.
If you must interact with him, treat him as you would any other person. For example, just give a casual and short greeting, such as "hi" and "go home first."
Step 4. Focus on the flaws
When you are in love, your heart and mind are often blinded by the negative qualities of a potential partner. In other words, you can only see the positive in the person! To control your feelings, try to look at them and judge them from a more realistic perspective.
- No one is perfect, including your crush. So whenever you start to think too highly of it, re-read the list!
- For example, if the person you once liked re-entered your heart and life, try writing down the things that caused your relationship to end in the past, including reasons such as “He keeps lying” or “He never prioritizes our time together.”
Step 5. Remind yourself that the person you like is no longer single
Perhaps, your desire to stop falling in love has its roots in the relationship status of the person you like. If the person already has a partner, always remember the person's face or name whenever your mind imagines that person. Only by doing so can your mind remain objective!
Step 6. Accept the fact that the heart always knows what it wants
Liking someone and taking it seriously are two different things. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, your heart still chooses to anchor to a specific person. However, if you're not ready to be in a relationship or fall in love with anyone, hide those feelings and don't take them seriously.
- Acknowledge the fact that you like the person and enjoy being around them, but remind yourself that at this point, you're still not ready to be in a relationship with anyone.
- One way to do this is to evaluate the life goals you want to achieve before falling in love again. For example, you might want to get a college degree or travel the world first before getting into a romantic relationship with anyone.
Method 3 of 3: Dealing With Your Love Problems
Step 1. Evaluate your love problems
In fact, it's only natural that someone who is afraid of being betrayed or hurt has a tendency to push others away. However, understand that these habits will actually prevent you from connecting with someone truly special. Therefore, try to identify the root of the problem in your love life. Once you find it, try jotting it down in a special journal or communicating it to those closest to you.
For example, you may be afraid of being betrayed by your partner because you have experienced it in the past, or afraid of falling in love because you don't want your dreams to be abandoned afterward
Step 2. Evaluate your dating habits so far
If you always experience failure in love relationships, it's natural that you then feel like you want to stop falling in love. In fact, evaluating your dating habits can help change your luck when it comes to romance, you know!
- Ask questions like: What do I usually do in such situations? Can I find a common pattern that has the potential to influence my relationship failure?
- For example, you may find that you have always been in a new relationship before fully recovering from the previous relationship. As a result, you're dating someone else just so you don't feel lonely, not because you're compatible with that person.
Step 3. Change your dating habits
Changing your dating habits may change your luck when it comes to love. For example, if you've always found a partner at a bar or cafe, try joining a community or spending time in the park to find potential partners with different characters.
Another dating habit that may need to change is the tendency to push someone away because you are afraid of being ignored. In fact, the prophecy that is not necessarily true will actually happen after these people move away. Therefore, start learning to open up to others and observe the impact on your love relationship
Step 4. Change the pair type
One of the reasons that may make you want to stop falling in love is the homogeneity of the type of partner. For example, you've probably always fallen for someone who isn't always there when you need them, is a bad influence, or is difficult to commit to. From now on, try changing your type and observe the results.
- Think of a character in a partner that you usually like. When you feel ready to go back on a date, try switching to someone whose character is completely opposite!
- For example, if you have a tendency to fall for guys who look "naughty", from now on, try to choose a guy who is more conservative. If you've always preferred someone who is spontaneous and less responsible, try having a relationship with someone who is more serious and reliable. Observe the results against your level of satisfaction in the relationship!
Step 5. Live the relationship with no rush
Are you the kind of person who might fall in love in less than a week? If so, it's the tendency to rush the relationship that runs the risk of hindering his future success! Therefore, from now on, proceed without haste so that you have more time to assess the character of a potential partner, even to assess the compatibility of the two of you, before leaving everything to him.
Think about the pace of your relationship so far. If you have a tendency to immediately spend the weekend with people you just met, try changing that pattern. Date them once and take a few days off before going on the next date. If you're used to having sex on a first date, try putting off activities that are too intimate before you really get to know them
Step 6. Push your fears away
If you've always been afraid to love or be in a serious relationship with someone else, the only way to overcome it is to face it. The trick, plan various simple steps that can be taken to eliminate or at least relieve your fear.
For example, if you don't want to put your ideals for love aside, don't forget to emphasize the importance of your dreams to a potential mate, whoever it may be. Also, try to always prioritize your dreams in the early stages of a relationship, especially since your focus is more easily distracted at this stage
Step 7. Consult your problem with an expert therapist
More than likely, your fear of love has its roots in the emotional trauma of a bitter past experience, such as being ignored or rejected. Maybe it's the fear of giving control to others that keeps you at a distance from everyone. Whatever the reason, a skilled psychotherapist can help identify the real problem and recommend tips to help you overcome your fears.
