Introversion is a fundamental social temperament that prefers solitary reflection and solitude over socializing. More simply, introverts focus inward, while extroverts focus outward. If you want to know whether you're an introvert or not, and want to know how to develop a reflective atmosphere for yourself, you can learn how to spend more time alone and be productive on your own terms.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Understanding Introverts
Step 1. Distinguish between being introverted and antisocial
There are many misconceptions about what being introverted means, and it is by no means "antisocial" behavior. Introverts are born and strengthened by spending time alone, and often prefer solitude to group activities that most introverts find emotionally heavy.
- Antisocial personality disorder is more similar to psychopathy or sociopathy, and refers to the inability to empathize with or connect with others emotionally. Truly antisocial people are usually ego driven and superficially charming in a way that is more akin to the traditional view of extroversion.
- There's nothing wrong with being introverted, and while many self-help books and get-rich-quick guides suggest that extroversion is the key to happiness and wealth, there's no evidence to suggest that one personality is more productive or more successful than another. Both personality types can be creative and productive in the right work environment.
Step 2. Distinguish between being introverted and "shy"
While many introverts may come across as "shy" in public, this isn't necessarily true, and it's important to know the difference. Introverts are not a measure of shyness, just as extroverts are more than just "friendly and open."
- Shyness refers to a fear of speaking in groups and not being able to communicate with others, and the choice to be alone is based on this fear.
- Introverts prefer to be alone because working alone is more stimulating to them than working with others, and for introverts, social interactions can be more exhausting than interesting. Introverts don't mean "afraid" of interacting with other people, they just aren't enthusiastic about it.
Step 3. Pay attention to what excites you
Are you enthusiastic about the thought of spending time alone? Do you prefer to work on a project alone, or collaborate with others? In a group, would not contributing ideas drive you crazy, or would you rather keep your opinion for private conversation?
- In general, you don't "become" an introvert by changing your behavior, because there's no point in spending more time alone if you don't enjoy it, or if being alone doesn't stimulate you creatively.
- Pay attention to your own tendencies and develop them. If you think you're an extrovert, there's no reason to try to change. Instead, give yourself a more social work environment so you can be more productive.
Step 4. Look beyond the dichotomy
One doesn't have to be in one "box" or another. Ambiver is the term used to describe people who comfortably switch between these two personality spectrums, and a large number of people score in the 50/50 range on personality tests.
Try the Myers-Briggs personality test to learn more about your score in personality, and what this test suggests to develop your traits and give you the best chance of success, according to your unique interests and qualities
Part 2 of 3: Spending More Time Alone
Step 1. Choose a hobby that you do yourself
If you want to know what it's like to be an introvert, explore a hobby that requires you to be alone when you do it, or one that thrives on being alone. Introvert hobbies include:
- gardening
- Creative reading and writing
- Paint
- Golf
- Playing a musical instrument
- Hiking
Step 2. Try not to go out on a Friday night
If you want to take small steps to create a more introverted space for yourself, try staying home on Friday nights instead of going out. Introverts often tire of social interactions, preferring to spend the evenings at home relaxing reading a good book than going downtown or partying. If you want to see if this method works for you, give it a try.
Have you ever secretly wished your friends would cancel plans, so you could stay home and watch Netflix? Do you sometimes regret that you accepted a party invitation? This is an indication of an introvert nature
Step 3. Talk less
Introverts are not chatty people. To act in a more introverted way, try to be more quiet in your next group interaction, letting the other person do the talking more than you. Ask questions to get the other person to talk, but try to keep the focus more on the other person than you.
- Talking a little doesn't mean not getting involved at all. Practice listening more than talking, and think before responding to the other person's statement to stay involved in the conversation without having to keep talking.
- Have you ever felt embarrassed when a focus group focused on you? This is a good indication of being introverted. If you secretly love the spotlight, that's a trait that leans more toward extroverts.
Step 4. Focus on person-to-person relationships
Introverts aren't lonely loners who can't communicate with others, they're just tired of socializing, and prefer solitary reflection. Introverts usually enjoy deep and meaningful conversations with only their friends, rather than in large groups.
- If you're not a party fan, it's a good idea to try to keep your friendship going by regularly hanging out with them, so you don't come across as distant or cold. Convey that you only prefer small get-togethers.
- Do you cringe at the idea of small talk at a dinner party? A good indication of being introverted.
Step 5. Make your room comfortable
If you're going to be spending more time alone, it's a good idea to make your room a cozy nest. Make the room the place you choose to pass the time. Organize your room with comfort in mind, whether it's with candles, incense and favorite books, or a mini-fridge and LPs within arm's reach of your favorite sofa.
Check out this article for advice on styling your room
Part 3 of 3: Becoming a Productive Introvert
Step 1. Pursue a career and interest that requires less interaction
The less time you have to spend with other people, the more introverted you will be out of necessity. If you feel you might benefit from a more introverted lifestyle, try pursuing interests, jobs, and hobbies that allow you to live that way and to work with the most productive results. The following jobs are great for introverts:
- Computer programming
- Writing and editing
- Research scientist
- Court reporter
- Archives or library science
Step 2. Focus on one job at a time
Extroverts can do many things at once, while introverts prefer to go deep into one task and see it done. Try to prioritize your time so that you stay focused on each task at hand before moving on to another.
Step 3. Dig deeper
Introverts generally don't like small talk, they prefer to dig deep and engage in conversations that are more serious and intellectual or effective at the core. This also applies to the types of work and creative projects that introverts enjoy taking up.
Next time you're working on a project for work or school, don't settle for "enough," or with doing what's expected of you. Go beyond people's expectations. Put your creative side in the project, put extra effort into it
Step 4. Take sole responsibility and work alone
Introverts prefer to work alone rather than working with others on group projects. If you get help from other people a lot, try taking on a project on your own next time and see if you can't do it without some extra help. This can help boost your confidence and allow you to rely more on yourself in the future, although in some cases working with other people is necessary.
- Get what you can from collaboration. Often you have to work with other people, and introverts shouldn't reject people's talents and abilities just because they prefer to work alone. Learn how to negotiate group projects without control, accept offered help and delegate separate tasks, so you too can have some alone time.
- Independent. The less you need to ask for help, the less you will have to depend on others for help.
