New relationships usually leave couples feeling carefree, intense, and happy, but do you know how to turn a new relationship into a romantic relationship -- one that lasts? While making a relationship last isn't easy, the hard work you put into the relationship will form a deep and meaningful bond between you and your partner that may last a lifetime. To make a love relationship last, you have to respect your partner, support him, and also make time for your love and romance relationship. If you want to know how, follow the steps below.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Appreciate Your Partner
Step 1. Look at the best in your partner
If you want to make a relationship last, you have to focus on your partner's best qualities -- not his worst qualities. While you can accept your partner's less-than-ideal qualities, you should focus on their ability to make you laugh, their intelligence, and their charming smile, instead of focusing on how often they are late or busy with their cell phones.
- A survey of 470 studies dealing with relationship compatibility shows that one of the things most long-lasting relationships have in common is the "positive illusion," which allows couples to see the positive side of each other. This is also known as "positive perspective".
- Look at the best in your partner every day, and remind yourself of why you are with him.
Step 2. Have sympathy for your partner
Proven: couples who have sympathy for each other in a relationship have happier marriages. To generate sympathy for your partner, you need to understand why he's angry, as well as understand all his needs, not be bothered because your partner isn't in a good mood. Look for opportunities to practice unexpected kindness with your partner, then see how much of a positive impact this has on your relationship.
- Try to surprise your partner with a simple action once a day. It doesn't have to be complicated or expensive; the time you take to text or leave a note telling how special your partner is can be worth more than an expensive gift.
- When your partner is having a bad day, use that as an excuse for you to be very nice to him, namely by helping him with household chores, whether by preparing dinner, washing clothes, or even giving him a back massage.
Step 3. Appreciate the little things
In order for love to last, you should not underestimate the moment of sliding door. Sliding door moments seem like unimportant daily times, which are filled with random conversations between you and your partner. The conversation may consist of discussing suffering, frustration, happiness, as well as funny things, which will usually be forgotten in a short time. Things like that are the main factors in important relationships that are lived in life. Small moments like that will continue to accumulate and foster relationships.
Even if you only have a few minutes to spend with your partner, make the most of it
Step 4. Give kisses 6 seconds every day
A 6 second kiss is a simple and fun activity that should be incorporated into your daily relationship building routine. The kiss is long enough to create passion and romantic feelings, and can also be a temporary oasis in the middle of a busy day -- for example, when you're leaving for work and after you've come home from work. Try to have you and your partner kiss at least once in the morning and once at night. You will see the resulting difference.
Greeting your partner affectionately will make you realize how important your partner is to you, as well as remind them of the comfortable feeling you get when you and your partner complement each other
Step 5. Give your partner the love and attention they need
When your partner tells you that he needs an emotional connection, whether he wants to make out with you or go to the balcony with you to look up at the stars, try to grant all his requests, not reject them, no matter how busy you are. Moments like that don't come around very often, and if you want to take your relationship further, you have to give your partner the love they need, so you can get that too in return.
- Take the time to listen to your partner and also respond wisely to their needs.
- You can't always give your partner the love and attention they need, but you can try to do it more often.
Method 2 of 3: Resolving Conflict with Spouse
Step 1. Avoid four common factors that damage relationships
If you want to control conflict with your partner effectively, you must avoid the four forms of negativity that are very harmful to relationships, which are sometimes also referred to as "the Four horsement of the Apocalypse": criticism, insults, defensiveness, and silence.. After observing one partner for several hours, scientists were able to predict with 94% accuracy whether the couple would stay together or separate if bad behavior was not changed. If you feel you have done any of these four negative things to your partner, find a solution to fix it before your relationship begins to erode.
- Don't criticize your partner just to vent the accumulated frustration. Alternatively, you can raise a complaint without blaming your partner, by conveying your positive needs. Share your feelings from your point of view, then share your positive needs. What do you feel? What do you need?
- Avoid the possibility of insulting your partner by starting a culture of mutual respect and appreciation in relationships.
- Don't be too defensive, and try to be open to your partner's comments and suggestions. Don't focus on proving you're right, and try to find a solution with your partner. Accept your responsibility, even if it's only part of the conflict
- Silence, not listening to your partner, or even giving in to your partner at all, are the worst things in a relationship. The best solution to this problem is to practice psychological self-soothing. The first step to doing this is to stop talking about conflict. If you keep doing this, you will either explode with anger at your partner, or you may also choose to remain silent and not talk to him or her. Neither of these things helped at all.
Step 2. Keep positive and negative interactions in a 5:1 ratio in conflict discussions
By doing so, you can maintain a positive situation with your partner in solving problems, instead of blaming, scolding, and hurting each other through comments that you don't really mean. You can keep that ratio in the argument by not saying things, such as "You never…" or "You always…" If you want to find a solution, don't think about the obvious, but focus on the positive aspects of it. existing situation, but not for the negative aspects.
Talk to your partner assuming they are on the same level. Use "I" statements, such as "I would be grateful if we…" instead of "you" statements, such as "You should…" That way the problem will sound like "our problem" instead of "your problem."
Step 3. Take control of the ongoing problems in the relationship
Even the best relationships have their problems, and not all problems can be solved. For a relationship to last, you have to accept the problem and find a way to control it, not keep arguing about it and get nothing out of it. The most important thing is not solving problems, but keeping a positive and open mind when discussing problems.
- The goal in a relationship when discussing these types of issues is to create a dialogue that shows that the partner is able to accept the problem, while involving humor and compassion in it.
- In essence, the important thing is to try to be as active as possible in dealing with unsolvable problems, not see them as obstacles in the relationship. Discussing conflicts that hinder relationships will only lead to painful results or cold silence.
Step 4. Address the conflict sensibly
Using a "gentle start," or more tactful technique of dealing with conflict in a conversation, can be very useful in changing your partner's view of conflict, as well as how easily conflict can be resolved. To begin discussing the conflict, you must complain about the situation carefully, without blaming your partner with feelings of revenge and anger. That way, the relationship will become more stable and healthy.
- For example, instead of saying "You said you wanted to buy groceries this afternoon, but you forgot," say "I'm really upset that there's no food at home right now. I think we discussed that I need your help with shopping next time." this".
- Make statements that start with "I", not "you". When you start a sentence with "I," it doesn't feel like criticism. When you blame your partner, he or she will immediately get ready to defend yourself, while statements beginning with "I" indicate that you are discussing how conflict can affect your feelings.
- Don't roll your eyes, fold your arms, or don't look at your partner. A few small gestures that show anger like that can make a big magnifier when conflict is discussed.
Step 5. Learn how to compromise
If you want a lasting relationship, you have to know that being happy is more important than being right. If you always want to win on your own when arguing, the relationship won't last long term. You and your partner must be able to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each choice rationally, and also think about the meaning of each choice for you and your partner. In the end, the decisions you make should satisfy you and your partner, not just fulfill the desires of either of you.
- You can also take turns. If you are left to make one big decision, you should let your partner do it when the next opportunity comes.
- You and your partner must be willing to compromise in a good relationship. If you choose to give in because you want to avoid conflict, you will get into trouble.
Step 6. Apologize when you are wrong
If you want a relationship to last, you have to be ready to put your pride aside and tell your partner that you've done something wrong. Admitting mistakes is something that takes courage, and your partner will appreciate your honesty. If you realize that you are wrong, but prefer to cover it up and try to be better in the future, you will run into trouble.
When you apologize, you have to say it with all your heart. Don't say it just because you feel it will make things better
Method 3 of 3: Making Time for Couples
Step 1. Take time to do something romantic
No matter how long the relationship has been in, you should take the time to prepare for a romantic moment with your partner at least once a week. Plan a "date night," where you and your partner just chat, enjoy a meal, and watch a good movie together. You can also plan more romantic adventures, such as a trip to the beach, climbing a mountain, or spending the night gazing at the stars. Whatever you do, keep the activity consistent, and make sure that you get at least a few hours of quality time with your loved ones, because all you have to do is enjoy the love and the relationship you're in.
- When you do something romantic, you should take advantage of this time to build a closer relationship with your lover. Talk about dreams, fears, and goals -- not about who's going to do the laundry or pick up the kids.
- You should incorporate "date night" into your weekly schedule, and make it the most important thing that can't be canceled due to other obligations from friends or work.
Step 2. Take time to compliment your partner
You might think "I've been with him for five years -- he should know how much I love him." That thinking is logical, right? No. Even if you know deep down how special your boyfriend is and how precious he is, you need to tell him how much he means to you, and also how much you value all of his unique qualities. Try to compliment her at least once a day with something new and meaningful.
- Appreciate your partner's appearance. If you and your partner are dressed neatly for a date, tell your partner that he looks good-looking or pretty -- or tell him how beautiful he looks when he watches TV in his everyday clothes.
- Tell your partner about the improvement in your life thanks to the things he does. Saying things like "I couldn't have done it without you," or "I'm so lucky to have you in a time of crisis like this" lets your partner know how much he or she can help and support you.
- Take the time to tell your partner all the aspects of him that you like, whether it's his sense of humor or his ability to charm new people.
Step 3. Take the time to say "I love you"
You have to say "I love you" every day to your partner -- and make sure it's sincere. Don't say it because you're too busy, because you think your partner should know about it, or because you're in the middle of an argument. Those words will never be enough. When you say "I love you," look your partner in the eye, and give your full attention to show that you're being sincere.
Step 4. Take time to have fun with your partner
Love isn't just about appreciating each other, controlling conflict, and doing romantic things -- it's also about having fun and doing silly things together. Take time to have fun with your partner, for example by watching comedians act, spending time telling shallow jokes, or visiting an amusement park and letting go of your feelings. Don't underestimate the positive effect that laughter with your partner can have on a relationship.
It's true: couples who laugh together stay with each other forever. Take some time to laugh together
Step 5. Take time to find new interests with your partner
If you want to keep your relationship feeling new, you have to take the time to work out a new attraction with your partner, so it doesn't sound like an "old hat." You could also take a rehearsal or dance class together, browse a collection of classic films, or take a trip to a completely new place together. While developing a happy routine can help in a relationship, making time for an interest or hobby is equally important for a relationship to thrive.
- Take a salsa class together to make your relationship more sexy and fun.
- Try exploring nature together. Hiking or taking a scenic walk with your partner can lift your mood and make you appreciate nature -- and each other too.
