If you often judge other people's speech or behavior subjectively, are curious about how other people are, think that others are intent on hurting or deceiving you, you may be more likely to be suspicious or paranoid than other people. A suspicious mind tends to trigger anxiety and is able to find hidden meanings that no one else has thought of. If you start to suspect someone, relax by doing a calming activity and taking deep breaths. Improve relationships by learning to listen to others, show concern, ask questions, and not jump to conclusions.
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Method 1 of 4: Using Coping Strategies
Step 1. Determine if you have paranoia or an anxiety disorder
Both of these are caused by fear and are manifested in the form of excessive worry and feeling always in danger. Paranoia is an unfounded belief or fear that something bad will happen. A person experiencing paranoia will be suspicious of other people or groups and believe that they are the ones responsible if something bad happens. Paranoia appears in the form of feelings of threat and excessive belief that this disorder is different from normal fear or anxiety.
Step 2. Relax
Stress is one of the main triggers for paranoid thoughts and feelings. So, try to deal with stress. If you start to suspect others, take time to relax. Paranoia or suspicion triggers the same physical response you feel when you are afraid and this makes you tired. Be aware of the physical response you're experiencing (such as an increased heart rate, stomach cramps, or faster breathing) and then try to calm yourself down, for example by doing guided visualization, praying, or breathing deeply.
- Begin the practice of deep breathing by focusing on the breath. Inhale and exhale longer for deeper and calmer breathing. This method will normalize the work of the body and bring peace.
- Do meditation. Meditation is a way of focusing your attention and relaxing yourself so that you feel more peaceful and happy.
Step 3. Write a journal
If you are experiencing paranoia and want to get to know yourself, writing is a great way to understand your thoughts and feelings. Write down everything you feel when you are hurt, betrayed, hopeless, or humiliated. Also write down the feelings that arise from remembering the experience. Writing is a way of recognizing and understanding mindsets. In addition, you can find the connection between thoughts and external influences.
- Write about a childhood experience that made you skeptical of other people's motives. Are you having trouble telling whether someone is lying or telling the truth?
- Have you ever been betrayed by someone so you trusted people in a different way?
Step 4. See a therapist
Suspicion and paranoia tend to lead to distrust. So, restore the ability to trust others with the help of a therapist through long-term therapy. If you've had a problem or traumatic event, a therapist can help you deal with it by teaching you how to calm down and practicing techniques for dealing with paranoia.
- At the start of therapy, don't let paranoia get in the way of therapy. See the therapist as someone you can trust and won't divulge information to others because he or she is responsible for keeping secrets.
- A therapist can help you work through the things that make you distrust others and make you more skilled at forming fruitful relationships with others.
Method 2 of 4: Changing the Way of Relationships
Step 1. Get in the habit of communicating honestly and openly
If you are worried about being in a relationship, use good communication skills. Ask the other person to speak honestly and directly without sarcasm. When talking to other people, try to listen and understand what they are saying. If there are things that are not clear, ask. Interact with curiosity and don't jump to conclusions.
Ask if you're still unsure about someone's actions or words and don't judge others. For example, if you start to suspect your partner when he or she wants to go out alone, ask: “What time do you get home? I want to chat with you tonight.”
Step 2. Trust others
Distrust will destroy friendships and relationships with other people. Even if there are people you can't trust, don't conclude that everyone isn't worthy of trust. Think about the consequences if you doubt the goodness of others. Maybe you will lose a lot of things, such as his attention, his presence, his love, even his friendship.
- For example, if someone informs you that he will be late, this means that he will be late, no more. Even if he's often late, don't label him with anything else based on the habit, even if you strongly oppose it.
- If you're having trouble trusting someone, say to yourself: "I decided to trust that he would tell me the truth."
Step 3. Don't dwell on the past
Many people refuse an invitation to go on a date or don't want to be in love again because they have been betrayed by an ex-lover. Regretting past experiences is not a healthy way to live in the present and prepare for the future. Remembering bad experiences only clouds the way you view life right now. Stop the habit of suspecting other people who appear impulsively when the same situation occurs. Building trust must start from yourself, not from others.
Learn from past experiences and become a stronger person. Use the past as a stepping stone to live a better life, instead of being a self-defeating burden
Method 3 of 4: Improving the Mindset
Step 1. Get in the habit of noting paranoid thoughts
When you start to suspect someone or have paranoid thoughts, write in a journal. Write down the situation in detail, such as who was with you and what happened at the time. These notes can be used to identify things that trigger suspicion or paranoid thoughts.
Step 2. Get used to thinking logically
Before reacting or speaking, use common sense and logic to control emotional responses and promote rationality. If you don't understand the situation or situation the other person is in, don't make assumptions. Try to deal with any situation calmly and think logically, ask questions before judging, ask for explanations, and prove before drawing conclusions.
Suspicion will ruin a relationship. Don't let your mind control you by making sure it's true. Ask yourself: “Is it true? Where is the proof?"
Step 3. Be optimistic and expect good things to happen
You will be free from suspicion if you are always active and committed to doing activities that are truly beneficial. Focus on activities that keep you busy and spend time in a fun way with positive people. Take advantage of the valuable opportunities that will continue to emerge if you want to open your horizons.
- Instead of thinking that other people will disappoint or hurt you, imagine that you are going through fun things and meeting kind people.
- Connect with people who give you the opportunity to learn and grow together.
Step 4. Record trustworthy behavior
Suspicion and paranoia arise because you want to prove to yourself that the other person is untrustworthy or unfaithful. You will try to confirm these beliefs and prove the truth of your views about other people. However, proving that someone is not trustworthy can make it difficult for you to trust others and make you feel insecure. Instead of just thinking that someone will hurt your feelings, turn your attention to behavior that proves that they are worthy of being counted, trusted, and relied on.
For example, if the person who promised to have lunch with you actually shows up, prove to yourself that he said he wanted to do something and actually did it
Method 4 of 4: Increasing Emotional Self-Awareness
Step 1. Control anger
You have every right to be angry with people who hurt you when you are vulnerable or feel used, but don't take your anger out on others. Express anger and distrust towards the person who has hurt you. Learn how to control anger to relieve stress and improve relationships.
Be a better communicator, solution bearer, and change mindset
Step 2. Improve your empathy skills
If you have trouble trusting other people (especially friends, relatives, or close people), put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone you love or spend a lot of time with doesn't believe your actions or words. Imagine what it would be like if someone was always probing where you were and suspecting what you were thinking. What do you feel? Investigating a suspect is a very unpleasant behavior because it makes him feel attacked and disturbed.
If you feel suspicious, look for things you both have in common, for example by making friends, finding out what he likes, and reminding yourself that he's a normal person just like you
Step 3. Believe in yourself
As you learn to trust others, you must also cultivate confidence in yourself. You will project unresolved fear onto others if you are always suspicious of others. There are still many kind and sincere people that you can meet in everyday life. First of all, focus on yourself and have confidence. Avoid people who doubt your abilities and say you are doomed to fail. Hold on to the commitment to make things happen that you want or need to do.
If you ever say you want to do something, do it. For example, after saying that you want to exercise today, realize that you can do it and actually make that commitment
Tips
- Suspicions that arise occasionally for obvious reasons are considered normal and acceptable because you must always be vigilant to protect yourself. Avoid sadness and hurt by paying attention to clear signals of behavior that undermines your trust or intentions to harm you, for example when you learn that someone is lying to you, using money without your consent, asking for bribes, etc.
- Use common sense to change your paranoid mindset. Don't be fooled into trusting everyone. It is too easy to trust and obey other people's wishes, especially to the point of harming yourself, is a behavior that is harmful and useless. Use sensitivity to tell the difference.
