If you are a naturally hard-headed person, you need to train your brain to resist confusion and take the opportunity that occasionally arises to make a choice. Practice making very quick decisions while developing the ability to make serious, long-term decisions. All of this will reduce the regret you feel when things don't go your way and you will eventually become a more capable person to make decisions.
Part 1 of 4: Train Your Brain
Step 1. Decide that you want to be a decision-making person
This may sound useless, but in reality you must first make a decision to become a decision-making person before you can actually become one. If you naturally find it difficult to make decisions, you will stay that way out of habit. Becoming a decision-making person requires a conscious and active effort.
Tell yourself that you are a decision-making person-not that you can or will be one, but that you are. On the other hand, you also need to stop thinking of yourself as incapable of making decisions, stop telling this to yourself and to other people
Step 2. Imagine yourself as a person who is capable of making decisions
Try so that you can imagine this. Ask yourself what it's like to be able to make decisions and how you look to others as you begin to become more and more capable of making decisions. The more you often do this kind of visualization, this picture will become clearer and closer to reality.
Pay particular attention to self-confidence and respect from others. If you are the pessimistic type of person, you may find it difficult to imagine a positive outcome. However, push yourself to do it, and don't dwell on worrying about the possibility that you will make a mistake and people will be angry with you
Step 3. Stop worrying about “bad” decisions
Acknowledge that every decision you make will lead to an opportunity to learn, including decisions that seem to have an unintended impact. By learning to see the bright side of every decision you make, you can reduce your fear that it will turn out to be a bad one.
Step 4. Face your mistakes boldly
Everyone will make mistakes. This may sound cliché, but it is the truth. Acknowledging and accepting this truth will not make you weaker. On the other hand, by accepting imperfection, you can train your mind to stop being afraid. After conquering that fear, it will no longer be able to control and hold you back from moving forward.
Step 5. Realize that even being incapable of making decisions is a decision
Something is bound to happen, whether you actively decide/vote for it or not. Likewise, not making a decision is the same as making a decision. Not making a decision means that you decide to give up control of a certain situation. Since something is bound to happen in situations that call for decisions like this, you're better off making a decision and taking control where it's necessary, rather than letting it slip out of your hands.
For example, you are considering two new jobs. If you don't decide which one to take, one company may drop its offer and you will be forced to choose another company. The first job might have been a better choice, but you were forced to miss the opportunity to take it because you didn't want to bother making a decision
Part 2 of 4: Practice Making Decisions
Step 1. Practice with the easy choices first
As the saying goes, "God can be ordinary", start making simple decisions that have consequences that are not too big. Keep practicing making small decisions like this until you can do them more quickly (for example, in less than a minute).
These small decisions include questions like, “What do I want for dinner tonight?” or “Do I want to rest at home or go to the cinema this weekend?” Generally, these choices have no long term consequences and will only affect you or only a few people
Step 2. Create a more serious situation
Once you're comfortable making small decisions, put yourself in situations that will require bolder decisions in a relatively short period of time. The consequences need not be too serious, but the choices should be more frightening than the previous stage.
For example, you can buy two tickets to an event before you set a certain schedule or buy ingredients before choosing a recipe to make. If you're worried about losing something, you need to really consider your options to avoid losing it
Step 3. Force yourself to make a decision
When you have to make a decision quickly, just do it. Trust your instincts and listen to your instincts. You may make mistakes several times, but each experience will make your intuition and abilities sharper and more developed.
This is actually one of the biggest parts of the entire existing process. You need to be absolutely sure that you are capable of making good decisions in a matter of seconds. If this doesn't happen at first, stick with it and keep practicing until you get better. Trust me, one day you will have enough experience to make yourself truly capable of doing it
Part 3 of 4: Making Better Decisions
Step 1. Set a deadline
When faced with choices that don't require an immediate answer, give yourself a deadline to make a decision. If there is already a deadline set by the other party, set another deadline for yourself before the deadline of the other party.
Contrary to what you might think, most decisions don't take too long. Without a deadline, you'll be tempted to procrastinate on making a decision, and end up feeling even more indecisive when it's time to make a decision
Step 2. Find as much information as possible
Gather as much information as possible about the options available in the situation. When you have enough information, you will naturally feel more capable of drawing the right conclusions.
- You need to actively search for the information you need. Don't just sit back and wait for the information to be given to you. Do personal research from various sides within the timeframe you have.
- Sometimes you will make a decision while doing your personal research. If this happens, trust your instincts and just do it. If you can't make up your mind while doing your research, review all the information you have and make your decision based on that information.
Step 3. Make a list of the good and the bad
This is old advice, but it's still a good thing to do. Write down the advantages and disadvantages of each possibility. Visualize any possible consequences so you can view all options more objectively.
Always keep in mind also that not all of these advantages and disadvantages carry the same weight. If the list of advantages only contains one or two things while the list of disadvantages contains four or five things, but the two advantages are very important and the four disadvantages are not so important, you may still need to choose those advantages
Step 4. Step back from the situation for a while
If neither option seems good, ask yourself if you've really figured out all the possible options in the situation. If there are assumptions or thoughts that prevent you from seeing other alternatives, step back for a moment and look for other alternatives outside of the ones that already exist without being influenced by those assumptions or thoughts.
Of course, some limitations are good. However, throwing these limits away for a moment to consider all the available options will not result in anything to lose, because you will still be able to realize that the previous choices were not good. Giving yourself other options doesn't mean you turn a blind eye to bad choices, it means you have the opportunity to find better options that you weren't aware of before
Step 5. Imagine the result
Imagine the impact that will occur if you make a certain decision. Think about the positives and the negatives. Do this for each option, then ask yourself which of the possibilities is the best choice in the end.
Also consider your own feelings. Imagine how you would feel when you made one choice and discarded another, and then ask yourself whether that choice would make you feel satisfied and whether another choice would leave you feeling disappointed and empty
Step 6. Determine your priorities
Sometimes you will definitely feel a little uncomfortable. When this happens, ask yourself which priorities are most important. Set yourself up to put those most important priorities first in less stressful situations.
- Sometimes this means you have to reformulate your values. For example, when making choices about the future of your relationship, ask yourself about the things you value as most important in a relationship. If sincerity and compassion are more important to you than fun, you'd be better off hanging out with someone who is sincere than someone who is adventurous but also likes to lie.
- At other times, this means you need to determine which consequences are more valuable than others. If you need to make a decision about a project and you realize that you can't get both budget value and high quality, ask yourself whether budget or quality is more important to the project.
Step 7. Learn from the past
Look back at your memory and think about any decisions you have faced in the past that are similar to the decisions you have to make now. Think about the choices you made at that time and keep in mind the results and effects. Imitate the good choices and don't make the bad choices.
If you're used to making bad choices, ask yourself what's behind this. For example, perhaps most of the bad choices you make are based on your desire for wealth or power. If this is the case, discard the choices that will satisfy your lust and greed for wealth and power, and consider other options
Step 8. Live in the present
While you may need to learn from the past and this will help you live in the present, at the end of the day, you need to always remember that you are in the present. Anxiety and fear about the past you must leave in the past.
Part 4 of 4: Managing the Consequences of Your Decisions
Step 1. Record your decision-making process in a journal, and review the contents from time to time
Write down the major choices you made and the reasons for each. When you start to have doubts or doubts about a decision, reread this journal. Rereading your thought process will often strengthen your decision-making ability.
You can also reread this journal outside of moments of decision making or when the consequences of past decisions no longer weigh on your mind. Reread each note to learn how you think and to observe it objectively. Do all of this on your past choices while asking yourself what led to success and what led to failure in yourself. Use this learning for the decision-making process you will have to do in the future
Step 2. Don't live in the past
When a decision is asked to have a bad result, observe where the error lies, then keep moving forward and make the next choice. Regret will be of no use at all. Regret will not turn back time, it will only hold you back.