3 Ways to Restore Confidence

2024 Author: Jason Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 10:50

One way to achieve success and happiness is to have high self-confidence. Research shows that people who have positive self-esteem, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about themselves are less likely to develop depression. Conversely, a lack of self-confidence will have a negative impact on a person's mental health, relationships, education, or career. The good news is that there are several ways you can restore your confidence in general or in certain situations, such as when you're in a relationship with someone or at work.

Step

Method 1 of 3: Building Confidence in Yourself

Step 1. Get to know yourself

If you have not believed in yourself all this time, it is not difficult for you to mention mistakes and failures. But have you ever tried to see the positive side of yourself? For many, this may seem very challenging. Researchers show that self-esteem is shaped by two cognitive factors, positive memories (about your behavior and yourself) and self-evaluation (how positively you evaluate your current attitudes and behaviors). Make a list of the things you like about yourself in terms of the personality and skills that make you who you really are.

Find a quiet place to sit and write down every thought that comes to mind. Prepare a notebook or diary and set a timer to write for 20-30 minutes. Keeping a journal is a good opportunity for you to regularly talk honestly with yourself about who you are and what kind of person you want to be. This method is a shortcut in reflecting and finding yourself so that you can realize things you don't know about yourself.
Also think about some aspects that you would like to improve, such as assertiveness or self-confidence. Don't just reflect on how you feel, but also think about why you feel the way you do. Try to understand who you really are and allow it to exist within you. If you feel that you are not able to deal with other people well, the first step to change is to admit it all aspects of you. For example, you may feel more confident and able to deal with this person if he or she is having problems, such as in a relationship or at work.

Step 2. Recall your past experiences and all your accomplishments

Maybe all this time you have never appreciated yourself for all that you have done. Begin to reflect to look again at the successes that you have achieved, both big and small, and make you feel proud. This way will ensure your presence in this life and show people and the community around you that you are valuable so that it will build self-confidence. Research has shown that in order to generate self-esteem, one must have a strong image of all positive experiences in terms of past accomplishments and abilities. By acknowledging that in the past you were a great, optimistic, and confident person, it will be easier for you to believe that you are an amazing person and capable of doing amazing things again.

For now, write down all your accomplishments. Remember that you have to write everything, starting from big achievements to small things in everyday life, for example learning to drive, going to college, moving into your own apartment, making good friends, cooking good food, graduating, getting a job, or whatever because the possibilities are endless! Read this list again from time to time and add another experience. Gradually, you will realize that you have a lot to be proud of.
Scan photos, collage books, yearbooks, travel mementos, or make a collage about your life journey and accomplishments to date.

Step 3. Focus on positive thoughts and beliefs

Instead of feeling helpless because of negative thoughts, focus on positive, uplifting and upbuilding thoughts. Remember that you are a special person, someone who deserves to be loved and appreciated by others and yourself. Try implementing some of the following methods:

Make an optimistic statement. Be an optimistic person and stay away from pessimistic predictions about yourself. Bad things that are always thought, usually will happen. For example, if you anticipate that your presentation won't go well, this may actually be the case. So, start being positive by saying to yourself, “Even though it feels quite challenging, I can definitely do a good presentation”.
Focus on “could” statements and avoid “should” words. By making a "should" statement, it means that there is something you must do (which you haven't done yet) so that you will feel pressured if this desire is not fulfilled. Instead, focus on what you CAN do.
Be a cheerleader for yourself. Give positive encouragement and appreciation for the positive things you have done. For example, you may notice that even if you haven't been working out the way you wanted to, at least you've started exercising one day a week. Reward the positive changes you've made. For example, “Maybe my presentation isn't perfect, but some of my coworkers ask questions and pay attention. This means that my goal has been achieved.” Over time, your mindset will change so you become more confident.

Step 4. Define your goals and desires

Write down all the things you want to achieve and determine how to achieve them. For example, maybe you want to do more by volunteering, taking up a new hobby, or spending time with friends. Set realistic goals and desires. Striving for the unattainable will only reduce, not increase, self-confidence.

For example, don't suddenly decide that at 35, you want to be the best professional soccer player or ballet dancer. This desire is unrealistic and you will lose confidence once you realize how difficult it is to achieve this goal.
Instead, set realistic goals, such as getting better math scores, learning to play the guitar, or mastering a new sport. Having a goal that can be worked out consciously and consistently and can eventually be achieved will stop the cycle of negative thoughts that reduce self-confidence. It also shows that you have the ability to set goals, achieve them, and feel happy.
Set goals that help you see and feel your competence. For example, if you want to know better about the state of the world, make the decision to read the newspaper every day for a month. Or, let's say you want to improve your skills by learning to repair your own bicycle and then make the decision to learn how to repair it yourself. You feel better by reaching goals that solve problems because this way, you feel empowered and empowered.

Step 5. Fake it until it works

This ancient proverb carries a valuable message. Confidence doesn't appear overnight. So, once you have a better understanding of yourself and your desires, start taking care of your appearance as this will affect your self-confidence. Trying to "look" confident can actually increase your confidence by having a visible influence on the people around you.

Use body language to show confidence. Get in the habit of standing and sitting with your back straight and walking leisurely with wide strides. Try to make eye contact when you meet someone, and if you feel nervous, try smiling instead of looking elsewhere.
Smile more often. Research shows that smiling can improve your mood and make you feel more positive.
Try more (rather than less) speaking confidently. This is especially true for women who, in social interactions, tend to be less talkative and less assertive than men. If you're hanging out in a social setting, try to have your voice heard because your opinion is important and can add value to the conversation. Speak clearly and with precise articulation, do not mumble or cover your mouth with your hands or fingers when speaking.

Step 6. Take a chance

Remember that you can't control the thoughts, feelings, or actions of anyone but yourself. Instead of being afraid of uncertainty and inability to control, try to accept it. Accept life around you as a vast and uncertain place by taking opportunities to do new things. You'd be surprised how often you succeed when you're proactive, as the old adage "luck comes to the brave." If you fail, you will see that life goes on. Whenever you have to stop in your tracks, taking risks and trying new things is one of the best ways to restore lost confidence.

Start a conversation with someone on the bus, send a photo or story to publish, or ask someone you like on a date. Make decisions that force you to step out of your comfort zone and try to dive into a new field, as long as you know that everything will be okay no matter what the outcome.
Experiment with doing new activities so you can discover new talents and skills that you weren't aware of. Try running on a running track so you can recognize your ability to run long distances, something you didn't think about before and makes you more confident.
Do artistic activities such as painting, playing music, writing poetry, and dancing. Art activities often help people learn to express themselves and make them feel good in a particular field or skill. Many art communities offer affordable courses.

Step 7. Help others

Research shows that people who volunteer tend to feel happier and have more respect for themselves. It seems like a paradox if we have to help other people first to feel happy. However, science shows that the sense of social connection that comes from volunteering or helping others makes us feel more positive about ourselves.

There are countless opportunities to help others by volunteering. You can help teach PAUD children or be a book borrower at a reading house. Get involved in church service to visit the sick. Make donations to victims of natural disasters or orphanages. Join in community service activities to clean up your neighborhood

Step 8. Watch yourself

Making time for yourself is one way to improve self-confidence. With a healthy body and soul, you will feel more and more satisfied with yourself. So, do your best to keep your condition healthy in whatever way you think is best, for example:

Adopt a diet at least three times a day by eating healthy and nutrient-rich foods, such as whole grains, low-protein meats (poultry and fish), and fresh vegetables to keep you energized and well-nourished. Drink enough water to keep your body hydrated.
Stay away from processed foods and foods/drinks that contain sugar and caffeine because they can affect emotions, if you want to maintain your mood or avoid negative emotions.
Exercise. Research shows that exercise is very effective in increasing self-esteem. This happens because when you exercise, your body releases endorphins, chemicals that make you feel happy. Euphoria that occurs during exercise is usually followed by an increase in positive feelings and energy. Get into the habit of exercising at a vigorous intensity for at least 30 minutes three times a week. If you don't have time, set aside time for a walk every day.
Reduce stress. Make a plan to reduce stress in your daily life by making time for relaxation and activities you enjoy. Meditate, practice yoga, garden, or do anything else that makes you feel calm and positive. Be aware that stressful conditions sometimes make people overreact or allow negative feelings to overwhelm them.

Step 9. Forget the idea of perfection

Perfection is a pseudo-idea created and developed by society and the media that causes great harm to many people. This idea says that perfection CAN be achieved and problems arise because we are not yet worthy of perfection. Nobody is perfect and make this sentence a mantra. No one has a perfect life, perfect body, perfect family, perfect job, and so on, including you.

Focus on the effort rather than wanting to achieve perfection. If you don't want to try something because you're afraid you won't be able to do it perfectly, you're missing out on an opportunity altogether. If you never want to join a basketball team, you're guaranteed to never win. Don't let the demands for perfection hold you back.
Accept the fact that you are human and that every human being is inherently imperfect and can make mistakes. Imperfection is a human thing and can be an opportunity to develop and become better. For example, maybe you weren't accepted at your favorite school or you weren't accepted for a job. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself for feeling guilty, see this as an opportunity to learn, improve, and improve. In addition, there may be a desire to continue education or deepen skills for dealing with job interviews. Forgive yourself and keep trying. While it's not easy, it's very important to avoid prolonged self-pity and loss of self-confidence.

Step 10. Be persistent

Building self-confidence takes time because new self-confidence can only be temporary. You have to keep showing confidence and take the opportunity to feel true self-confidence.

Remember that self-confidence is not something you achieve, it's a process. Since there are always surprises and obstacles in life, you must continue to work on building and rebuilding self-confidence for the rest of your life. As you continue to evolve, your self-confidence also evolves

Method 2 of 3: Restoring Confidence for Relationships

Step 1. Watch yourself

The only way to have confidence in a relationship is if and only if you believe in yourself. Take the steps described in the first section to build confidence in yourself. Part of the journey to building confidence in a relationship is believing that you are worthy. Also, try to make time to be alone and have a constructive relationship with yourself so that you can feel content and happy, for example by reading a book, walking, or exercising. In this way, you will better understand yourself and your desires and then carry them into your relationships with others.

Remember that developing good self-esteem is an important part of having a successful relationship. In a study of 287 young adults, researchers found that people who had high self-esteem, such as self-confidence due to appearance and personality, were successful in romantic relationships.
If you're feeling insecure because you've just had a troubled relationship or a breakup, you need to recover first. Many studies state that divorce and separation can have a negative impact on mental and physical health, such as increased stress and anxiety including a tendency to alcoholism, diabetes, and heart problems. It's not easy to deal with the fact that a relationship has to end, but you can recover by trying to control your emotions and get on with your life.

Step 2. Reflect on the past

We can't change the past, but we can change the way we see it, for the good or for the bad. Think back to the relationships you were in and how these relationships affected your current perspective. This will help you solve the problem without letting the problem control you.

For example, maybe your ex-partner had an affair in the past. Instead of blaming yourself or continuing to be weighed down by this relationship problem, think about how this experience made it hard for you to trust your potential partner and worry about this happening again. Overcome this problem by knowing what makes you insecure about a new relationship

Step 3. Keep your point of view

After recovering from the grief of a past relationship, change your perspective and begin to see that an ending is a new beginning. Remember that there are many people in this wide world. So, this is an opportunity, not something you should be afraid of. There are lots of options for you.

Also realize that past love relationships are not a reflection of who you are, but a big problem involving other people and various factors (eg third parties, long distance, incompatibility, etc.). A relationship isn't who you are, it's something that gets you involved. While you may want to blame yourself when things don't go well, with a little time and patience, you'll realize that there are many reasons why this problem occurred and that you are basically innocent

Step 4. Take a chance

Do new activities so you can meet new friends and build confidence. Sign up on a matchmaking website or go to parties, participate in activities, shop at the market and take courses so you can make new friends. Show confidence and don't be afraid of rejection. You'd be surprised how easy it is to start a conversation with someone you've just met.

Women are usually afraid to approach men because traditionally, relationships don't start this way. However, in the 21st century, don't be the woman who scoffs at the idea of how to start an acquaintance. Use this opportunity to boost your relationship confidence and you'll be surprised at the results! Remember, if you never try, you will never know what the consequences will be.
Don't date everyone or try anything. You have to be selective. Enjoy friendship and intimacy with people you like and remind yourself that there's a lot you can give in a relationship.

Step 5. Remove your mask

Don't pretend to be someone else and show someone you're not. Everyone is an ordinary human being who has vulnerabilities and shortcomings. Let people see this when you interact with them and leave the pretense. For example, if you have a crush on someone, don't pretend to be "highly selling" by being unapproachable and showing no interest. Instead, show who you really are and say that you're very happy to be with him. Being genuine, sincere, and having nothing to hide is true self-confidence. Eventually, you'll be able to open up and have fun relationships with other people.

Also, learn how to express concern and worry. You need to be honest with yourself and your partner as you try to deal with and deal with the worries that come with being in a relationship. Honesty is the best wisdom. Define and say how you feel. Openness is a sign of a confident person

Method 3 of 3: Restoring Confidence at Work

Step 1. Look at the facts

When a negative event occurs in our professional life, we find it difficult to focus on anything else, what happened before, or what is to come. Anger, disappointment, and self-doubt tend to take over. If this happens to you, try to calm yourself down and evaluate the problem without getting emotional. For example, if someone other than you was selected for promotion, think about the facts of this incident. Instead of concluding the matter because "My boss hates me" or "I've done something wrong. So, not being promoted was my fault” think about why this person was deemed the right person to be promoted. Also think about what you want to do to improve yourself so you don't get overtaken next time.

Look at it with a wider perspective. Instead of getting caught up in a heated situation where someone seems to be insulting or belittling you at work, try to find out why they're talking to you that way. Get rid of the idea that it's all because of what you've done and don't stress yourself out or be selfish.
Also remember the facts about the success you have achieved. For example, if you have been promoted or praised for a good job recently, remind yourself of this and why you were chosen. This will increase your self-confidence without the need for support from others. You can use your own experience and abilities to motivate and instill confidence within yourself!

Step 2. Refocus your attention on work

At times, politics at work or interpersonal issues can take a toll on self-confidence. Maybe you were reprimanded by an unwise boss, maybe your position was demoted, or your working hours (salary) were reduced. Whatever the problem, the best way to deal with it is to stay focused on the job. Here's why you got hired and why you're rated well. Just ignore the gossip and gossip, keep working and don't waste time. This attitude not only shows that you are a valuable asset to the company, but you also remind yourself of the same.

If the humiliation or trouble you experience at work is related to violence or a violation of the law, make a note and contact personnel or the appropriate authorities (depending on the situation). You have the right to work without being harassed in any form and by anyone

Step 3. Engage in professional development

Do your best work that gives the best results. Don't overlook the fact that you have skills that are valuable and beneficial to your company and your own career. Training is a good way to increase self-confidence at work. You will be more confident in your own abilities if you have more knowledge about work and company management. By staying focused on work, your career will increase so that your confidence in work will also increase. Try to develop yourself because too long working in a certain position and doing the same task will make you feel bored and stuck.

Continue to learn and develop your employability in a new field by taking advantage of free resources for professionals. You can read books and take free courses online, either to deepen your skills in your current line of work or to master new skills, such as management and teamwork. The Personnel Department should have information that you can access free of charge for information on training and supporting materials. In addition, you can start your career development through the Personnel Department. However, make the most of all available resources to keep learning and growing. As your abilities develop, your self-confidence will also increase

Step 4. Learn a new skill

Don't just focus on the things inside yourself, but start paying attention to competency development so that you are more task-oriented than yourself. Learn and develop new skills, even if you may feel unsure or afraid at first to start. Identify what your weaknesses are at work and work to improve them. Fear is a truly terrifying enemy. The only way to beat fear is to face it and do what you are afraid of to become more confident and not give up easily.

For example, maybe you feel nervous when you give a presentation in front of a lot of people in the office. Try to approach your boss and coworkers so you can make your presentation in a supportive and stress-free atmosphere. If you are no longer nervous when giving oral presentations, this means that your confidence has returned

Step 5. Show confidence

Feeling confident and showing confidence at work are two different things. Pay attention to your appearance at work and wear clothes that are appropriate for work to look more professional (with a style that suits your profession) and try to look attractive. This method is a shortcut to make you feel more confident, energized, and ready to do a good job.

Also think about how you behave when you attend a meeting. Do you always make eye contact and pay attention? Are you just sitting still or trying to show involvement by nodding and asking at the right time? Show curiosity and openness (for example, by not crossing your arms over your chest) to let others see that you feel confident and really like your job.
Don't keep apologizing, especially if you're not at fault, as this shows that you don't believe in yourself and need approval from others.