Quitting a sports team can be a tough decision. However, don't be afraid to tell your coach your decision. You may want to leave the team because you want to finish school or because the injury is too severe to make it difficult to stay on the team. Whatever the reason, stick to your decision so you don't regret it later.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Building Confidence
Step 1. Decide why you want to leave the team
Your discussion process with the coach will be easier once you have determined your reasons for wanting to leave the team. Maybe you have an obvious reason, such as an unsupportive medical condition. You may be overwhelmed and stressed due to pressure within the team. Expressing your true feelings can make it easier for you to talk to a coach. Below are some examples of reasons you might want to leave the team:
- You have a medical condition or injury.
- You need more time for education or career.
- You don't feel happy in the team.
- You can no longer dedicate your time to the team.
- You have personal or family matters.
- Your coach or teammates are bullying you.
Step 2. Find another solution
If you're unsure of a decision you've made, or feel sad that you have to leave the team, find solutions that can help you stay on the team. Think about your current situation. Can you and your coach make decisions that will help you stay on the team?
- If you want to leave because the team is taking up too much time, your coach may be able to cut back on your training portion. Your trainer may also be able to rearrange your training times so your schedule doesn't get disrupted.
- If you have a problem with a teammate, ask the coach to mediate the problem. You, the coach, and your teammates may be able to come up with a solution to the problem.
- If you are injured, ask the coach if you are still allowed to participate in training and matches from the side of the field until you recover. If you're not sure you can play again, try doing other work on the team, such as serving drinks to other players.
Step 3. Seek moral support from others
If possible, ask someone else to justify your reasons for leaving the team. The person may be able to give you moral support when discussing it with the coach. He or she may also be able to sign a letter stating your reasons for wanting to leave the team.
- If you want to leave because of a certain medical condition, ask your doctor or therapist to sign a letter explaining your condition. The doctor or therapist can also advise the coach to remove you from the team through the letter.
- If you want to leave to focus more on your education, ask your teacher or professor to provide a letter stating that you need to spend more time studying.
- If you are a junior or senior high school student, your parents may be able to accompany you when discussing with the coach. Explain to your parents why you want to leave the team. After that, ask your parents to help you discuss with the coach.
Step 4. Write down what you want to say
Prepare yourself by writing down what you want to say when discussing it with the coach. You don't need to write it down in detail. Write down your reasons for wanting to leave the team and how to bring them up to the coach.
- Think about the coach's response. Will the coach understand? Are you afraid he will be angry? Plan an appropriate response to any reactions the coach may have. How would you respond to a coach's refusal?
- Use a confident but polite tone of voice. Emphasize that you want the best for the team, but leaving is the best option for you at this point.
Step 5. Practice with friends or relatives
The best way to build confidence before meeting a coach is to practice what you say to a friend or relative. Ask friends or relatives for suggestions and input as you practice your speech.
- If no one wants to help, you can practice in front of a mirror.
- Before telling the coach, don't tell your teammates that you want to leave the team. The coach should hear this news from you, not from someone else.
Step 6. Get yourself excited before discussing with the coach
You may be nervous about letting your coach know you want to leave. Before discussing with the coach, energize yourself by saying some motivational words. This can make you more confident and calm.
- You can say, “I can do it! Just tell me what I want."
- Remind yourself by saying, “I'll be so happy after doing this. I can do it!"
- Make yourself more positive. Tell yourself, “Imagine how happy I will be when this is over. I'm no longer stressed every day."
Part 2 of 3: Talking About Your Wishes with the Coach
Step 1. Ask the trainer to discuss with you after the exercise
Determine the right time to discuss with the coach one-on-one. When practice begins, ask the coach if he or she has time to discuss it with you after practice. By doing this, the coach will realize that you need to have a discussion with him so he won't leave right away after training.
- Say, “Coach, can we chat after practice? I want to discuss something.”
- When the coach asks what you want to talk about, say, “I want to discuss my future in this team. I can explain it more clearly after training is over.”
Step 2. Say that you want to exit
When the time comes, tell the coach that you want to leave the team. If you say it clearly and confidently, the coach will realize that you really mean it. Let the coach know that you have thought about this decision carefully and that it is the right choice.
- Say, "I've been thinking about this for a few weeks, and I think I need to get out."
- You could also say, “It's time for me to focus on something else. I had to leave the team."
Step 3. Explain why
Explain why you want to leave the team to the coach. The coach may try to change your mind. However, you can show that this decision has been well thought out by telling the coach why.
- You might say, “I need to focus on something else. My grades are dropping, and I have to improve so I can graduate and get a good job.”
- You could also say, “I often have leg pain, and I've had it checked. My meniscus is torn so I won't be able to play for several months. It seemed like the right time for me to pursue a new interest.”
- If you have a letter from a doctor or teacher with you, this is a good time to show it to the coach. Say, “I brought a letter from the doctor. Maybe this can help explain the condition of my injury."
Step 4. Tell the coach what you can do to keep you from quitting
You may want to leave because of a problem with one of your teammates, or maybe a coach can meet your needs. If you have a reason not to leave the team, tell the coach that reason. He may be able to help solve your problem.
- You might say, “To be honest, I had a bit of a problem with my teammates. If this problem can't be solved, it looks like I have to leave the team."
- You might say, “I need more time to study so my grades don't drop. Maybe if I don't train on Friday, I can manage my time more effectively."
- If the coach is a bully, it's best not to tell the coach that you want to leave the team because of it. The coach may take his anger out on you. Instead, say that you want to leave for personal reasons, and don't provoke him.
Step 5. Tell me when you will be leaving
Tell the coach how long you will be on the team. This is done so that the coach has time to plan your departure from the team. Let us know the date you will be leaving.
- You can say, “I plan to stay on the team until the competition ends. However, I will not return after that.”
- Alternatively, you could say, “I can only hold out for the next two weeks. Sorry I had to leave the team while the competition was still going on."
Step 6. Thank you for the help
Let the coach know that you appreciate his hard work while coaching you. A sincere thank you can show how grateful you are for the coach's influence and help while on the team.
You can say, “It was difficult for me to get out, and I really appreciate all the hard work the coach did. Thank you very much for trusting the coach in me."
Step 7. Email the coach if you can't find him
If you can't tell the coach face-to-face, email is a good option for contacting him. You can find the coach's email address on the school, university, or league website. If you can't find the coach's email address, you can write to him. Leave the letter to a teammate who can give it to the coach.
- Using mail or email to leave the team is not a good option. Make sure you do this if you really can't meet the trainer one-on-one. You may have to leave suddenly and be unable to keep up with the exercise. You may be being treated and unable to see a coach.
- Write, “Dear coach, it's hard for me to say this, but I have to leave the team. Sorry I couldn't tell the coach directly. I had to go home suddenly, and I couldn't continue this season. I don't know if I can still play for the team or not. Thank you very much for the coach's support and hard work. I will always appreciate it. Sincerely, Tirta."
- If you are a junior or senior high school student, you can also send the email to your parents. Alternatively, your parents can also write the email for you.
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Bullying Trainers
Step 1. Ask someone to accompany you
If the coach is known to be bullying or insulting to others, ask someone to accompany you. The coach may be more polite if you are accompanied by someone from outside the team. You can ask a parent, teacher, or friend.
Step 2. Use self-directed statements
Don't blame the coach or use accusatory words. This will probably make the coach even more angry. Instead, say statements that refer to yourself such as. Say statements that start with "I," not "you." This can help calm the mood.
For example, instead of saying, "You always ask us to practice longer after practice," say, "I don't have time to do my homework, and I need to focus more on my education."
Step 3. Be firm with your decision
Some coaches may try to persuade you to stay on the team. Show that you are serious about leaving the team. Say that you have thought about your decision carefully. Tell them that if the coach can't meet your needs, you won't be able to stay on the team.
You can say, “I appreciate what this team has given me. However, it looks like it's time for me to come out. Due to my current family situation, I need to set aside time for my personal life.”
Step 4. Ignore the coach's scolding
If the coach responds with anger or reprimand, ignore it. The coach may tell you that you are a coward and make you feel guilty. Stay true to your point of view, then walk away. Say, I'm not a coward. I know my limits. I need to focus more on other things in my life.”
Your coach may tell you that this was a bad decision, or that you will regret it later. You can say, “I know this is the best decision. I might regret leaving the team, but I might also regret not leaving the team."
Tips
- The coach's handshake after completion. This will show that you value the coach and thank him for his services
- Quitting early in the competition is a better decision than letting your team down later on.
- If the coach tries to persuade you, ignore it. Focus on getting off the team. If you're not focused, the coach may think you still want to be on the team.
- If you are going out, do it one-on-one so that this issue can be discussed personally.
Warning
- Quitting a particular sport can be difficult, especially if you've already sacrificed your time and effort. Think of this as an opportunity for you to pursue other interests.
- Leaving the team is not a bad thing. If your coach says you're a coward, reaffirm your abilities and strengths. Stay positive, and remember that there are many strengths within you.
