Relationships can be a memorable experience, but happiness in a relationship sometimes recedes from the grief of a breakup. One of the saddest relationship endings is when your partner leaves you for someone else. If you are dating a man who left you for another woman, face the end of the relationship with dignity, take care of your emotional state, and start a new life so that you can shorten and relieve the suffering you are experiencing.
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Method 1 of 3: Facing the End of a Relationship with Dignity
Step 1. Stay away from him
Sometimes, it's easy for you to live out your relationship fantasies by staying friends with them. In fact, you can still be friends with him in the long run. However, for now it's a good idea to focus on yourself and let your feelings for him "die" before having another relationship with your ex-lover. Staying in touch will only make the end of the relationship more painful, especially if you haven't gotten over it yet or if he still has feelings for you.
- It must be hard for you to see him with another woman. Protect yourself from emotional hurt by keeping your distance (at least for now).
- Don't interact with or see them on social media. Don't text him or call him either. You may need to eliminate everything that reminds you of him, such as photos or gifts.
Step 2. Resist the urge to get back together
Even though it hurts, sometimes ending a relationship is necessary. The desire to return to a relationship will only prolong your wounds and suffering. If he is already with another woman, your desire to get back with him actually makes it seem like you want to repair a relationship that has been destroyed. This puts you in such a bad position that you will continue to feel hurt.
If he's trying to maintain an existing relationship, but is still seeing or interacting with his new woman, it's a good idea to avoid this situation. Show him and those around you that you have the maturity to end the relationship, even when he doesn't want to end it
Step 3. Say positive things about it
Try to be proud and don't gossip about his actions. You may want to vent your anger, but doing so can trigger problems, especially if you have friends who also know your ex. Looking at the situation positively is actually better for your mental health than letting out your emotions negatively.
- Try to understand the position. Maybe he's trying to do what he feels is best for his life. If he doesn't want to save the relationship with you, ending the relationship can be the best long term solution for both of you.
- If someone asks you about the end of your relationship, you can say, "This is a difficult thing for me, but I still wish him the best."
Step 4. Respect the decision
You may not like the decision, and you really shouldn't. However, accept that he has already made his decision and that the best thing for you to do is to forget about it, no matter how bad it is. Even if you put a lot of time and energy into the relationship, the best thing you need to do is get up and forget about it when the relationship is over.
You can tell him, "I respect your decision, even if I don't like it and agree with it."
Step 5. Don't involve a third person
You may be driven to attack the third person your ex-boyfriend is after, but it's not really his fault the end of your relationship. Your rude attitude to him will only make it difficult for you to get up and forget your ex-lover. Try to appreciate the positive side of the presence of a third person. It will be easier for you and your ex-boyfriend to end the relationship decisively because you will not think about each other and focus on healing any internal wounds.
- If he tries to talk to you or badmouth you in front of others, maintain your integrity by not responding to his behavior.
- If you need to respond, keep it short and positive. You can say "This matter is not our problem, but I hope your relationship with him will go well."
- If this third person is your friend, or you have friends you both know, make sure you're more careful not to show your annoyance. You may still want to be friends with him again in the future, or don't want to poison your social circle by demeaning him. If you need to express your disappointment, talk to another friend you don't know (or your ex-girlfriend).
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Emotions
Step 1. Take care of your body
After a relationship ends, it's important that you take care of yourself. You may feel too sad or tired to eat and sleep regularly and exercise. However, these things can help you recover quickly from your inner wounds. Activities such as exercise also provide additional positive energy for the brain so that you can get through this difficult time because it can encourage the production of serotonin, a hormone that builds feelings of happiness.
Ask your friends for help if you're having trouble taking care of yourself. Enjoy dinner with loved ones or visit the fitness center with friends who work out a lot
Step 2. Face how you feel
Distracting yourself from your inner hurt may sound soothing at the moment, but it will actually only prolong the time it takes you to process the end of the relationship. You also find it difficult not to carry the remaining feelings you have for him into a new relationship or other aspect of your life.
- Share your problems with your friends so you can better reflect on your feelings. Make sure you talk to someone who is trustworthy, sensitive to your emotions, and able to listen carefully to what you have to say.
- Don't rely on alcohol or drugs to drive your feelings away. This habit will only hurt you more in the long run.
Step 3. Write down your feelings
Focus on the positive things that can be obtained from the end of your relationship. By writing, you can manage your thoughts and process all the painful emotions that resulted from the end of your relationship. Writing down specifically the "benefits" you got from the end of the relationship is a better move than just venting your emotions.
- Is he honest and forthright when he tells you he likes someone else?
- Did he tell you what happened before his relationship with a third person got more serious?
Step 4. Give yourself some time
It is important that you give yourself time to recover. Torturing yourself by jumping into a new relationship, overworked, or forcing yourself to forget it only makes the situation worse. Like physical wounds, mental wounds also take time to heal. Give yourself the space and time you need to rest and recover from the hurt you feel.
Don't hesitate to refuse when your friend asks you out and you don't feel like leaving the house. True friends will understand that you need time to be alone before you can get back to normal
Step 5. Don't believe the myth that there is only one soul mate in life
In some cultures, it is sometimes easy for a person to believe that there is only one soulmate in his life. However, in reality there are a lot of people in this world who might suit you. Don't try to convince yourself that your ex-boyfriend is the only partner in your life and you can't find someone like him. You will most likely find another man, and maybe he will be much better than your ex. In the end, you will find a match with someone, but this time, neither of you want to end the relationship.
Method 3 of 3: Building a New Future
Step 1. Love yourself
In this context, "love" is a verb or a series of actions. You may find it hard to love yourself after being abandoned for someone else's sake, but you can come back to love yourself through small steps taken every day.
Praise your strength. Take note of the things you love about yourself. If you're having trouble finding things you like about yourself because of your current emotions, ask other people who love you, like your parents or friends. They can point you in the right direction
Step 2. Try to be nice to the people around you
One way that can be followed to receive love is to give it. When a friend is in need, help them to make you feel happier. Even small acts of kindness like baking someone's birthday cake or giving them a lift can lift your spirits.
Overall, people who enjoy doing good live longer and healthier lives. Kindness can reduce stress and activate hormones or brain chemicals associated with happiness and love
Step 3. Make a plan
Situations like this might make it easier for you to fall into the abyss of sadness and distance yourself from other people, but to make your recovery faster, try to make plans with other people. Do certain activities, even if not as often as you usually do. Plan meetings with friends and other activities ahead of time so that there is something you can “look forward to” rather than relying on “scratch” plans. Usually, sudden plans will not give the desired results.
- Try to enjoy dinner with friends periodically during the week so that there are activities that can be carried out consistently.
- Even if you feel lazy to do activities, it's a good idea to keep trying. You never know how you will feel after trying it with the people you like. Try to find the right balance between spending time alone at home and activities outside the home with friends.
Step 4. Meet new friends and visit new places
Try new things so you can get out of boredom that hit. Sometimes, it's easy for you to get hung up on the past when you're facing the end of a relationship. Therefore, dare to leave the "nest" and create other memories so that you can build a new life. Even if you find it difficult at first to enjoy new activities or are reluctant to meet new people, at least it's better than thinking about the end of your relationship and mourning it.
Ask your friends to take you to an activity they enjoy, such as yoga or kayaking. Their cheerfulness will be "contagious" and help you enjoy the moment
Step 5. Develop yourself
When you have more free time and time for yourself, take advantage of this moment. Sign up for a fitness center and follow a regular exercise program. Focus on improving grades at school. Practice the skills you're interested in (eg musical instruments or photography). This way, you will feel more comfortable and proud of yourself. In addition, your confidence will increase so that you are ready to date again when the time comes.
It's a good idea to note down the things you want to develop in yourself. Think about things you've always wanted to do, but didn't because you didn't have much time, like learning to be a better writer or taking a run
Step 6. Beware of impingement
It might be tempting to jump into a new relationship right away, especially since your ex is already with another woman. However, you need to be careful when you want to distract yourself from your feelings by immediately replacing your ex-lover with another man. Lamenting over an old relationship is an important step in the process of emotional development. If you are not able to give yourself time, you will continue to drag your emotional baggage into the new relationship. Of course this can be a disaster in the relationship.
