Do you often think, “Am I old enough to date?” In fact, there is no one answer that works for everyone, especially since everyone has their own set of obstacles or issues. For example, you may have parents who were very opinionated and forbade you to date before a certain age. It's also possible that you have a cultural or religious background that has an "ideal concept" of dating. To find out the most appropriate answer to your question, don't hesitate to ask for advice and ask an adult who is trusted and more experienced than you.
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Method 1 of 3: Identifying Readiness
Step 1. Think about why you want to have a boyfriend
Regardless of your age, try to analyze the reasons behind each of your desires, including the desire to date. Don't be in a relationship with someone just because the situation seems exciting or fun. Remember, romantic relationships need to be based on maturity and hard work so you have to take them seriously.
- In fact, there are right and wrong reasons to have a boyfriend.
- Dating someone seriously if you want a partner who is steady and will spend your old age with you.
- If you feel unhappy or unfulfilled, always remember that your happiness and wholeness cannot be filled by someone else.
- A boyfriend can be a temporary remedy for boredom and loneliness. However, it is very unrealistic if you want the perfect boyfriend figure and will always be there for you in any situation. Remember, no human is perfect; neither do you.
Step 2. Determine what dating means to you
If one day you want to marry someone special to you, dating can be the perfect “bridge” to learning to commit and to be in a serious relationship. However, if you don't want to be trapped in a monogamous relationship, chances are that the dating option won't work for you.
- The meaning of dating will affect how you treat your partner in the future.
- If you are planning to get married one day, find a boyfriend who is willing to make a long term commitment and take your relationship seriously! In other words, don't keep changing boyfriends just for a moment of fun.
Step 3. Think about whether you still have time for a romantic relationship
Remember, the existence of a boyfriend can take up most of your free time. Most likely, by now you have been quite busy with academic activities, sports, clubs, hobbies, and also your friends. Maybe you just want to spend more time exploring new things.
- Understand that on average, a person needs to spend a few hours a day or a few days a week to spend with his girlfriend.
- Don't neglect your relationships with other people, such as friends and/or relatives. Dating can take up most of your time. Therefore, make sure you don't do it with people who feel they can come and go as they please.
- Today, technology makes it easy for everyone to date while still having a life outside of a relationship. If you don't have time to meet up, you can always contact your boyfriend via text message, phone or video call, right?
Step 4. Define your personal goals and dreams
Every individual must have a plan in his life. For example, you want to be a career woman, or you want to spend your old age by getting married and having children. In fact, the presence of a boyfriend can hinder or even support your dreams. Therefore, try to understand the impact dating has on your future plans.
- Remember, it's never too late to date and to find out what you want to do in life. While you have time to think about it, why not?
- Don't worry, you still have time. In the future, you will still meet hundreds of new people. Therefore, there's no need to feel hopeless about being single or the only person in your group of friends who isn't dating.
Step 5. Recognize dangerous signals
Avoiding pressure or coercion from the environment is not a good reason to have a boyfriend. Remember, never sacrifice your personal boundaries and comforts just because everyone around you already has a boyfriend! Instead of being in an unhealthy relationship, focus on keeping your emotional health and safety up.
- Don't let other people make you feel guilty or instill the perspective that you should have a boyfriend.
- Just say, "Sorry, I can't" or "I don't want to date right now" to turn down someone who asks you out when you're not ready to do it.
- If someone is forcing or burdening you to do something you don't want (especially sexual intercourse), always remember that you have the right to say "no" and leave the relationship.
Step 6. Be honest about your feelings
If a guy wants to date you, think carefully about whether you really like him or just being flattered after receiving his attention. If you really feel like you fit in and "connect" with him, there's nothing wrong with dating him to get to know him better.
- In order not to feel overwhelmed in the relationship, don't hesitate to ask your other friends when you're on a date. In addition, you can also avoid the temptation to make unwanted physical contact with your partner, right?.
- Never date someone out of pity. Trust me, doing it in the end will only hurt both of you.
Method 2 of 3: Asking for Advice
Step 1. Ask your parents what they think of the dating rules they have for you
Before deciding to date, ask your parents for the dating rules. For example, maybe you were only allowed to date when you were in high school or even after graduating from high school. If they want you to focus on your education or something else, chances are that you still can't date right now.
- When discussing with your parents, make sure you also ask about curfew rules and their preferences regarding your dating activities. For example, ask if you can drive alone with your boyfriend, and if you can go on a date alone or should you invite other friends of yours. Also ask for any other specific rules that come to mind.
- Some questions you can ask are, "When did Papa and Mama start dating?" and "Have you ever, Papa and Mama felt that you guys were actually dating too fast?"
- Even if you don't agree with your parents' opinions and/or wishes, still respect them. After all, your parents will want the best for you.
- To reassure them, try bringing the guy you want to date home and introducing him to your parents.
- Chances are, your parents understand your maturity level better. Listening to them is a very powerful way to prove that you are mature enough and worthy of making decisions independently.
Step 2. Ask your closest friends for opinions but don't give in to pressure from your surroundings
In fact, the temptation to have a boyfriend often arises after hearing the love stories of your closest friends. However, always remember that what is good for other people is not necessarily good for you.
- If most of your friends haven't dated because of their parents' restrictions, or if you and your friends are still traveling together without a partner in sight, you probably don't need a boyfriend at this stage.
- If you want, ask if you can go out with your friend and her boyfriend to get a clearer picture of dating at your age.
- If most of your friends already have established partners and are in happy relationships, chances are you're already at the same level of maturity and ready to have a boyfriend.
- Whatever your decision, do it for yourself, not for anyone else.
- Be careful. Just because all of your friends have boyfriends, doesn't mean you should. Even though you are old enough, never force yourself to accept a date from a random guy just because you want to have a girlfriend.
Step 3. Listen to the dating experiences of people who are older than you
Look for a partner who has been married or dated for years. After that, ask questions about their love story and first meeting. Trust me, after that you will be helped to determine the most appropriate time to stop waiting and start dating.
- Maybe you're waiting for someone to ask you out on a date. Maybe you've even found the right boyfriend!
- Of course, older people have more experience when it comes to dating. Therefore, seek advice from them, not to peers who change boyfriends every week.
- Ask questions like: "When did Auntie meet Uncle?" or "Which is better in your opinion? Dating as usual or getting to know each other without the word dating and physical contact?" or "Auntie and Om what are you doing on a date, anyway?"
Method 3 of 3: Considering Religious or Cultural Background
Step 1. Consider the culture you grew up in
It's possible that all of the girls in your family ended up marrying their high school boyfriends. Or, maybe everyone in your family sticks to the concept of dating once and getting married right after. Understand the cultural background you grew up in when identifying the best time to date.
- Alternatively, the culture or religion that you have followed since childhood may have an ideal concept of sex or birth control. No matter how great your desire to disobey, always remember that these rules are there for your safety and well-being.
- Remember, you are indeed an independent person and have the right to have their own opinions or ideas.
- However, you should still respect the rules of the culture that surrounds you.
- Whatever your decision, always remember that your choice will definitely affect the people around you.
Step 2. Observe the environment in which you live
Chances are, your environment has its own “ideal” concept of the best time to date. Want to act in line with the concept? Go ahead. But remember, just because everyone does an action, doesn't mean it must be the most appropriate and ideal option for you.
For example, if all the teenage boys in your church don't want to date until it's time to get married, it's best to be patient until they ask you out first instead of forcing themselves to approach them
Step 3. Discuss your desire to date someone who is mature and trusted
For example, you can discuss all the problems and situations that feel difficult with a religious leader or school counselor. If marriage is sacred in your religion or family culture, don't rush into dating.
- Some educational organizations or institutions even set dating rules for their members or students. If these rules do exist, make sure you always obey them so you don't get into trouble.
- Disobedience may sound fun and cool, but if you decide to date just to vent your anger or break the rules, you've actually plunged yourself into an unhealthy pit.
Tips
- Trust is the most important foundation in any relationship. Therefore, make sure you, your boyfriend, and the parents of both parties can trust each other.
- Make sure your parents or guardians know about your relationship. Trust me, dating in secret risks breaking other people's trust in you.
- Make sure your mental and emotional state is well established before deciding to be in a relationship with someone.
Warning
- If you feel you are not ready to date, you should trust your instincts. After all, there's no point in forcing yourself into a relationship if you're not really ready.
- Some countries have laws that regulate the legal age for dating, especially to regulate sexual activity patterns for minors.
