Novelist Robert Louis Stephenson once said, "To become who we are today, and to become who we will be in the future, is the only purpose of life." In other words, life's most valuable purpose is to be yourself, no matter what it means to you. Individual development can appear in various ways, depending on the living conditions of a person. So, expecting self-development to be in line with previously set expectations is a mistake. Just because you feel you haven't reached your full potential at a certain age doesn't mean you'll never achieve what you're most capable of or want to do. There are endless possibilities of what the body and mind can achieve, even in the later stages of life. Regardless of your age or social position, you can learn to actively pursue your dreams. You may be a late bloomer who just understands yourself a little later than the people around you.
Part 1 of 2: Understanding and Pushing Boundaries
Step 1. Determine if you are a late bloomer
A late bloomer is a person who reaches his or her potential in life for longer than their peers need. A late bloomer is not someone who fails, he just needs a longer duration to achieve success than his friends. There are many categories of these late bloomers:
- Late bloomer in education. This means that your grades at school are mediocre, until you suddenly shine and beat many other students on some exams. This may be because you can eventually develop a connection between what you do at school and your goals in life. Or, you can use what you learn to improve your personal life. Either way, you are likely to be successful in education if you are able to find meaning in what you learn.
- Late bloomer in career. You may have spent 15-20 years of adulthood still wondering about the career you want. Then, you suddenly find it and perform brilliantly. In order to perform well, you have to find out what you are passionate about - maybe these interests are in your coworkers, or things you have managed to get. If you're not excited about any of these factors, try asking friends or loved ones to see if they're able to find things they love about their careers. In addition, you can find a new job that might fulfill your calling.
- Late bloomer in the social field. When everyone is happy about meeting and getting married, you may be afraid to make friends and date. Until suddenly, one day you realize that talking to other people is not as scary as you think, and your social circle expands.
Step 2. Consider your boundaries
Many of our decisions are based on the level of security we get from the environment, especially in the early stages of life. In addition, another basis is our skill to develop interpersonal attachments with other people. In fact, later in life, the fear of petty feelings can carry over and limit our actions.
- By experimenting with the boundaries of your environment, you can challenge your inner insecurities, allowing you to discover new opportunities in life.
- To cross boundaries, you have to try new things in different areas of life. Whenever you can, you should welcome every new experience. You can learn some of our suggestions in the next steps.
Step 3. Experiment with daily activities and the environment
Psychologists believe that our individual capacities are closely related to the environment we inhabit. Experiment with the conditions in life by getting out of your comfort zone.
- For example, imagine that you spend most of your time alone at home or working in an office. You may develop capacities in things like physical health or social skills. Your environment will have an effect, even if these behaviors are already dominant in your genes.
- To bypass these restrictions, you can join a weekly gym class. Or, you can commit to more frequent walks in the park. Whatever you're doing, do something outside your routine or encourage your body to take a new action so you can experience new emotions and ideas about what you can achieve.
Step 4. Develop new relationships
If you continue to spend time with the same people every day, your capacity for self-growth may be stunted. Connecting with people who have opposing views can develop a self-concept of what you and the world might have in store.
- Spending time with new people can help you develop a point of view. All the stereotypes and assumptions you held before will be questioned, and you will discover new ways of living.
- Start a conversation with strangers at a coffee shop, or join a social group of people with similar interests.
- If you can't afford to meet new people but still want someone to talk to, consider seeing a mental health professional or life coach. They can be good listeners and offer strategies to push you out of your comfort zone.
Step 5. Consider your perception of yourself
We often limit our potential because of unrealistic ideas about who we really are. These ideas could come from childhood, or perhaps from parental expectations. In fact, Facebook pages can also create unrealistic expectations about life.
- Whatever the source of these perceptions, you have to fight them when you feel you are limited. When all these thoughts arise, take a deep breath and focus on what you can do in the present moment to create a better life.
- Try to root hope for the future in your perception of the present. Focus on the process of establishing the goal rather than the end result.
- For example, imagine that you feel you need a new friend. Consider how you can achieve this goal by starting now. Can you make new friends just by thinking about them, or should you start talking to people you don't know? You might be able to put yourself around new people as a first step.
Step 6. Don't compare your life with others
We are all unique human beings, with different body capacities and biological compositions. This means we will all develop at different rhythms and speeds. People meet milestones for their development at different speeds and in their own ways.
- The late 20s is a time when the human brain and body stop developing at the steady rate they previously experienced. However, the body retains its elastic properties throughout life. In this way, some dramatic personality and behavioral changes are possible, even in the later stages of life.
- There will never be two bodies that develop in the same rhythm and path. This means you may reach certain cultural and biological points at a different time than other people in your life. Sometimes, you may not even achieve it at all.
- For example, puberty can start over a wide age range. The age of puberty often varies, depending on factors such as race, body fat composition, and stress levels. You don't have to force your body to go through puberty if it isn't ready. You will only put unnecessary pressure on yourself by pretending to be something else.
- If you're comparing your life and abilities to others, take a deep breath and try to focus on the present. Find joy and interest in all the activities you do in your daily life so that you can develop yourself at any age.
Step 7. Practice deep breathing or concentration techniques
Breathing exercises and meditation can help direct attention to the body's processes in the present. These are all good media for dealing with unwanted and/or obsessive thoughts about the past and future.
- Some simple meditations can be done by sitting in a comfortable place. Place both hands on the lap. Take a deep breath slowly and feel the air moving through your body. Focus all attention on the breath. If your mind starts to wander, focus again on your breathing and the present.
- As you get used to focusing on the present, allow yourself to focus on activities that grab your attention. In this way, your goals and hopes for the future will be created based on passion and interest in yourself.
Part 2 of 2: Making the Most of Your Strengths
Step 1. Get to know your introspective side
Late bloomers are usually conscientious reflective thinkers. They tend to try to control more aspects of life than their peers. You may be someone who is intelligent; find ways to use your nature to your advantage.
- Your tendency to self-reflect and control the situation may cause other people to reach their life goals faster than you. However, because you take the time to think carefully, when you get an opportunity, you may be more capable and ready to seize it.
- Practice creative writing. If you're at home more often than you'd like, or want to find ways to pass your free time, try practicing creative writing. You can write poetry or prose. Creative writing can be a good way to exercise your creativity. You can also develop something unexpected.
- Try making art or music. If you don't like creative writing, maybe you can work in the visual arts or music. These activities can also help you exercise your creativity.
Step 2. Record your thoughts
Jotting down ideas and thoughts can help you refocus on your desires and potential. In addition, the process of achieving the dreams you recorded can help others, especially other family members.
- Your traits can be passed down. If your children or family members can learn from your experiences, you have contributed to creating a better life for others.
- Prepare a daily journal. Journaling can be a good way to explore emotions and let them flow more freely in your daily life. Don't force writing in a certain structure. Instead of doing it, write down whatever comes to your mind. Sit down and start connecting things freely--you may be surprised at what comes out of your fingers. It can also be a good way to introspect and think deeply.
- Prepare an "idea book". Always carry a notebook to write down ideas, for example by keeping it next to your bed or bag. This book can be helpful when you are struggling to make decisions or have low self-esteem. Whenever an idea comes up, write it down. Late bloomers are usually full of ideas, sometimes so many that they don't know what to do with them. You may find it difficult to make a decision when an idea comes to mind. However, know that the idea has meaning and could come in handy later on when you reconsider.
Step 3. Recognize your strengths
Late bloomers also usually have some very valuable qualities in themselves. These qualities include the ability to reflect, consider things, and be patient. They are also generally able to think abstractly and creatively.
- Use these strengths to develop self-confidence and encourage enthusiasm when life puts you in a bad position.
- Due to your patient and reflective nature, others may seek your advice when they have personal problems. Use your abilities to help them. Patience and consideration from yourself is also an attitude that can be used to choose a career or lifestyle. For example, you might make a good counselor/academic.
Step 4. Believe in yourself and your abilities
You are able to develop yourself and overcome life's challenges. If you're getting tired, talk to yourself to remind him that you're a competent person with valuable abilities.
- Your accomplishments may take longer than others. However, remember that instant achievements are not always beautiful. Many people are afraid to take positive steps because they feel pressed for time and don't know what they are doing. Late bloomers are able to avoid this feeling by taking the time and making sure they know what they are doing.
- At the same time, learn from mistakes. The obstacles you encounter on the road to success are not personal failures. These obstacles can be a valuable source of input for learning to do things better in the future.
Step 5. Enjoy success and grow
When you achieve something important in life, acknowledge your accomplishments. Use that success to motivate yourself so you can achieve something even greater.
- You may need a long time to reach the target. But, as a result, you may also be more in control of what you are doing than those who have achieved the same thing first.
- People may start to come to you for help when they become aware of your experience and knowledge. You've taken the time to think deeply about life. Also, you've reached your own conclusions instead of just adopting someone else's conclusions.
- Help other late bloomers in life. Assure them that they are not being left behind or less intelligent than their fellow human beings. We are all valuable and have a purpose.
- Develop a sense of humor. Laugh often, especially at yourself. Laughter reduces stress and makes life's challenges easier to overcome.