Certain things are said to be meaningful if they are important and useful. So is our life. The life we live only feels meaningful if it has a useful and significant purpose. A meaningless life can lead to depression and feelings of hopelessness. While there is no exact science that teaches you how, you can build a meaningful life by following these steps and being tactful throughout the process.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Changing Your View of Life
Step 1. Determine your purpose in life
Living life to achieve certain goals makes you feel like you have influence. In addition, life goals help you make the most of your abilities and time so that your life feels more meaningful. For that, you also need to do various new things. For photography enthusiasts, borrow a camera or take a photography course to test your skills in this area. If you enjoy helping others and are good at communicating, start tutoring to see if you enjoy teaching. You can find purpose in life in the following ways:
- Do reflection to reflect on what kind of life you want. What kind of life do you want to live in the future? Do you like traveling the world, but don't want to have a family? Or, do you feel proud and satisfied if you have a big happy family?
- Write down your strengths and talents and think about how to make the most of them at work, as a volunteer, or to help a friend.
- Set aside time each evening for one week to jot down events and activities that make you excited, feel good, and have a purpose in life. At the weekend, reread the note while thinking about how to use the fun things that excite you in your everyday life.
Step 2. Determine the things that you consider important
Everyone has different priorities. In order to live a meaningful life, first determine what you want to prioritize. Write down five things that you think are important and then consider whether the life you are living right now is in harmony with those things. If not, what do you need to do to fix it?
- Maybe you want to prioritize family or health? It's also possible that you put more emphasis on creativity, growth, helping others, freedom, or curiosity.
- If “creativity” comes first, but you currently work as an accountant, consider whether you need to change professions or find ways to use creativity in your daily life, for example: taking painting lessons, writing articles in your spare time, joining a sports team, etc.
Step 3. Write down why you want to live a more meaningful life
Why do you feel the need to do this? Is it because you had an important event? Or, because you feel stuck in a routine? Whatever the reason, write down on paper or on a computer why you want to live a more meaningful life. This will help you understand why this is important to you and will make you feel more at ease.
- Know the importance of living a meaningful life. Having a purpose in life will make your life better and prolong your life.
- Remember that “meaning” is not just “happiness”. A happy life is not necessarily meaningful. On the other hand, a meaningful life does not always promise happiness. This is not to say that happiness is unimportant, but it does mean that “meaningful life” means “happy life”.
Step 4. Make a plan with “SMART” criteria
Think about what you've always wanted to do, such as wanting to practice jogging regularly or writing a novel. Whatever you want, putting together a plan to achieve your goals makes your life feel more rewarding.
- If you want to become a marathon runner, make this desire your main goal. However, you should break down those goals into specific, achievable targets. Many things prove that the final goal is easier to achieve by determining the intermediate goal and the steps that need to be taken.
- Record the progress you have made in a journal. This method prevents loss of motivation because by writing a journal, you can motivate yourself and know the progress that has been achieved.
Step 5. Change your mindset about work
Quoting the words of Martin Luther King Jr. "Whatever you think is best, do your best." If your job isn't fun, focus on doing your best at work. This method makes your work feel more meaningful because you will go to work with a specific purpose.
Try to find an easier way, for example, by helping others or yourself. For example, if you work in a daycare center, apart from taking care of the children in care, you are also helping the family by giving them the opportunity to work or settle personal matters. By becoming a teacher, you not only help others learn, but you can learn many things yourself on various topics
Step 6. Begin to realize the things you deserve to be grateful for
Even if it seems pointless, writing or at least remembering things you are grateful for makes life feel more meaningful. Instead of worrying about something you don't have, being grateful for what you have allows you to focus and feel connected to your surroundings. Life will feel more meaningful if you are able to establish a good relationship with nature, other people, and God.
- For example, maybe you're grateful that you have a comfortable bed, maybe you're grateful that you don't have to get up early since it's still dark, or that you have a friend you can call any time of the day.
- Begin to be aware of all the good things you experience in your daily life, even if it's just by noticing the little things that you deserve to be grateful for for a few seconds each day.
- The habit of being grateful will remind us that there are always good things in our lives, even if bad things happen or things go unplanned. Let go of wanting more so you can see what really matters in your life.
Step 7. Ask for help
Sometimes, our minds are so busy that it is difficult to find solutions. If necessary, consult a mental health professional so you can think objectively. Or, you can chat with a good friend or someone close to you. Maybe they've been through the same thing or just gave some helpful advice.
Don't be so swayed by wrong opinions about therapy that you reject it. Many people find it helpful to share their fears and anxieties with someone who is able to be objective
Method 2 of 2: Making Changes
Step 1. Establish a good relationship
In addition to family members or old friends, start building good relationships with new friends. Building intimacy with other people will be beneficial for you because it makes your life feel more meaningful. Plus, a close relationship makes you feel loved and supported. Do the following ways to strengthen the relationship:
- Be a good listener. Instead of just waiting for your turn to talk or busy checking your phone, focus on paying attention and listening to the person who is talking. Show that you are listening by nodding your head, responding by asking questions, and repeating what he said (e.g. “So you wanted to say that…”).
- Learn healthy ways to express emotions. Learn how to control your anger so that you don't yell, yell, or behave rudely to other people.
- Show that you are worthy of trust. If you ever promise to do something, keep your promise by doing it. Tell the truth, be consistent, and if you're wrong, admit it.
Step 2. Solve problems in your relationship
At times, close relationships can feel very challenging for a variety of reasons, but one of them is that close people often challenge you to be honest or to express your beliefs.
- While challenging relationships (unless there is physical and emotional abuse) can sometimes be stressful, research shows that these conditions are necessary for you to find a meaningful life.
- Take therapy with your family or partner to deal with problems you face in your family or with your partner. The therapist will act as a mediator helping you communicate in a healthy and helpful way.
- Learn to set boundaries. Setting the right boundaries is a way of protecting yourself and boosting your self-esteem.
- Be assertive. Being assertive doesn't mean being aggressive, it's stating what you want while respecting the other person's wishes.
Step 3. Show affection
To quote the Dalai Lama: “Compassion makes our lives meaningful.” This message seems easy to execute, but it can often feel challenging. When you see someone who is suffering or upset you, try to understand their perspective. Imagine how you would feel or do if you were in the same situation. In this way, you will feel moved to take action, for example wanting to help the person so that he or she is able to overcome their suffering or show understanding.
- This also applies to dealing with yourself. If you occasionally make mistakes, that's okay. Accept yourself the way you would treat someone you really love.
- Affection will activate certain parts of the brain that trigger feelings of happiness so that we will feel happy when helping others. Loving people make better friends, better parents, and better partners, so showing affection will improve relationships.
Step 4. Make a donation
While it may not sound like a way of giving thanks at first, donating time or money to support a charitable organization or donating canned food to help with soup kitchens is a way of appreciating what you have. You can give charity in various ways, for example by giving time, money, talent, or helping a friend who needs help. However, don't just donate an hour a year. Research shows that you have to donate regularly in order to experience the benefits.
- Do activities that you enjoy voluntarily. This will make your life more meaningful, especially if you volunteer to help other people, animals, or deal with problems that are much worse than the ones you've been through.
- For example, if you enjoy caring for animals, provide support to a wildlife shelter. If you enjoy caring for young children, help look after children in an orphanage or in a particular community.
Step 5. Find a new job
If you've been trying to change the way you approach your current job, but to no avail, it might be time to look for a new job.
- Before deciding to quit a job that is not fun, write down all the things that are valuable in your life. For example, maybe you value kindness or generosity. Maybe you enjoy helping or entertaining others. Write down whatever comes to your mind because you can find fun activities this way.
- Think of activities that you will still do, even if you don't get paid. For example, if you enjoy volunteering at soup kitchens, consider becoming a social worker helping the homeless. Many nonprofit organizations require personnel to manage housing, conduct advocacy programs, and/or provide counselling.
- Take an internship in a position you like. After that, you can decide if this job is right for you without making major changes in your life.
Step 6. Cultivate courage
Contemplating the daily habits of life is sometimes scary because you have to be honest with yourself about how to live your life. To find the meaning of life, you may have to make major changes and this process will last a lifetime.
- If you decide that what you really want to do requires a major life change (example: moving abroad, using a lot of savings, or changing your daily routine), you have to work hard and overcome your fear. Fear often makes us unable to do what we really want.
- Cultivate courage by increasing your confidence and acknowledging your fears.
