Knowing how to steer a relationship can be difficult. Also, things get even more complex because no two relationships are exactly the same. However, there are several ways of behaving that can make it easier for you to live an existing relationship. Even though your boyfriend may seem mysterious and unpredictable at times, there are some simple things you can do to keep your relationship happy and healthy.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Treating Her With Respect
Step 1. Talk to him in a friendly manner
Talk to him like you would want your close friend to talk to you in that way. Healthy relationships are always based on mutual respect, regardless of whether you're dealing with something funny and interesting or an argument.
- Set the tone of your voice. An important part of communicating is tone of voice. Talking in a friendly tone of voice that makes him realize you care for him is certainly very important to do.
- Never call him weird or bad names. This is a clear sign that you don't respect him. Never assume that your boyfriend can tolerate it.
- Refrain from swearing. One of the things to do when you want to talk to your boyfriend nicely and treat him with respect is not swear at him (or in front of him). He may find this behavior very offensive, so it's a good idea to be more careful in your speech and refrain from swearing.
Step 2. Observe and appreciate her body language
Body language is the key to understanding a person's feelings more deeply than simply understanding what he or she is expressing verbally. Experts say that about 55% of communication involves the use of body language so that by observing and guessing the nonverbal clues that the person is showing, you can understand more in-depth information about their feelings.
- Pay attention to the instructions. If your boyfriend is enjoying the atmosphere, his body language will likely reflect his feelings. He'll smile sheepishly, show consistent, long eye contact, or lean toward you. He will appear calm, with his face, body, and feet facing you. Body language like that shows that he is enjoying the moment. Pay attention to these clues to find out the right time to do what should still be done, whether in an intimate setting or in a more crowded setting (eg when you are with friends).
- Notice if he seems uncomfortable in the situation. If you feel something is making him uncomfortable, try taking him to a quieter place and ask him how he feels. If he does feel uncomfortable, try to keep him away from the situation. If he's feeling a little nervous, you might see him playing with his hands, stroking his hair, touching his chin, or fiddling with his necklace. These behaviors are done to calm yourself down (known as pacifying behaviors). Make sure you pay attention to such things.
Step 3. Treat him as your equal or equal
Just like when you have to be proud of yourself, you also need to be proud of your boyfriend. You should be proud that he has his own thoughts, opinions and dreams. Encourage him to want to share his thoughts or desires with you, as he wants.
- Accept differences in political positions, tastes in art or music, and interests in entertainment activities. His opinions and tastes are still meaningful and valuable, regardless of whether they match yours or yours. Remind yourself that-even if you really want to-you are not in charge or in charge of things, whether private or public. Consider the differences that exist as part of the "spice of life". Wouldn't it be boring if you and your boyfriend always agreed or liked all the same things?
- If you feel like you can't respect his opinion, maybe the relationship you're in isn't the right one for you. If you're facing differences on deep-seated issues (a desire to be in a monogamous relationship or a religious disposition, for example), this might be a good time for you to reevaluate the relationship. While you should still respect his opinions and feelings, you may notice that his opinions and feelings don't align with yours or your feelings.
Step 4. Try to be honest
Honesty is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It's very important for you to be honest with your boyfriend from the start. While it can be hard to be honest sometimes, remember that honesty is always the best wisdom. Of course, a series of lies that must remain hidden can be stressful for you. Besides, what's the point of maintaining a relationship based on lies?
- Be honest from the start. Once broken, trust will be very difficult to restore. Instead of having to run the risk of having your secret exposed, it's a good idea to be honest from the start. A relationship based on lies will never make you truly happy.
- If you've ever told a lie, admit it. The best thing you can do is tell your boyfriend the truth in person, not through someone else. He will appreciate you more for the honesty you show (of course when he feels calmer after being shocked by the lie you admit). He wants to trust you and believe in you.
Step 5. Apologize if you upset him
Apologizing is one of the best ways to show respect or appreciation to your boyfriend. You don't have to overdo it; just make sure you apologize sincerely.
- Apologize immediately and don't procrastinate. The best time to apologize is as soon as you realize your mistake.
- Speak from the heart. Say, for example, “I'm really sorry and sorry for hurting your feelings. I will try to do better.” Those words are as great as the dozens of roses you can give him. In addition, he will feel as if the heavy burden that he holds in his heart has been lifted.
- Don't apologize forcefully. If you don't intend to apologize, don't do it. A fake apology is worse than no apology at all.
Part 2 of 3: Showing Care for Your Beloved
Step 1. Make sure he knows you're thinking about him
Since he is your boyfriend, of course you have to think about it. When you think about it, tell him about it. You can show him how much you care about him through small things-a text or phone call when you're away from him, or a gentle touch on his back or arm when you're with him, for example.
- Try sending a simple message like "I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you." Little things like that can make a day colorful.
- Retell a recent memory or moment. You could say, for example, "I'm still thinking about the moment when I spilled my drink in class and you slipped on the wet floor. It makes me laugh all day.”
- Start with a compliment like “Your sweet smile is always on my mind.”
Step 2. Show politeness
Simple actions that you do can be remembered by your boyfriend for a long time. Try to find a way and be polite and tactful when around him because this will be very much appreciated. However, you need to find a middle ground to find out what kind of behavior or wise actions he can also appreciate. Talk to your boyfriend from the start about what forms of polite behavior are appropriate and which are not in line with your and your boyfriend's wishes. For example, maybe you want to pull out a chair for him to sit down, but he finds that humiliating. By talking about these things, you can prevent misunderstandings. Here are some suggestions of polite behavior he might appreciate:
- Open the door for him. This attitude has been appreciated by women for centuries!
- When walking on the sidewalk, walk on the side closest to the highway. This indirectly indicates the protection you want to provide. When in a crowded public place, hug your boyfriend.
- Offer to pay for dinner. Even if he refuses and wants to split the bill, he won't just ignore your offer.
- Introduce your boyfriend to your friends. Maybe he feels annoyed or uncomfortable standing next to you while you are chatting with your friends who don't even know their names. Make sure the first thing you do is introduce your boyfriend. This way, he will feel important to you and be calmer when chatting with your friends.
Step 3. Make him feel special
Show him that he's the only person who catches your attention and affection, whether you're alone with him, with other friends, or among strangers.
- Show him eye contact when you are on the far side of the room. Show him that he is the only person you can think of, without having to say a word. A smile can help you express those feelings.
- Consider her feelings. For example, when you make plans, discuss your plans with him. Make him feel a part of the relationship.
- Give him a compliment. Show him that you notice and accept the things he shows even if you don't really accept or approve of them-his new clothes, his new haircut, or his lightening smile, for example.
- Try pampering him a little. Has he often seen certain scarves or accessories being sold at the mall? Try buying that scarf or accessory and giving it to her as a “Thursday” gift.
- Say thank you when he brings you something, helps, or does you a favor. A simple thank you can mean so much to him and make him even more motivated to help you out in the future. Better yet, try to thank him for no particular reason; thank him for being himself. Unexpected kindness can warm his heart.
Step 4. Get to know his friends
Your boyfriend's friends (and family) are likely to play a big role in his life. They will exert some kind of influence on him. If you want your relationship to last, of course, you need to get approval from his friends, both male and female.
- Show interest in his friends. Ask him the same questions you asked him when you were friends. One of the first questions you can ask them is how they first met your boyfriend.
- Prove to them that your boyfriend is in a relationship with a good person. Show them that you really care about them, but don't push yourself too hard. Hold her hand, but don't show so much attention that everyone is embarrassed.
- Say good things about him. His friends don't want you to make fun of him or look down on him. It's okay if you want to joke around a little bit about your boyfriend, but it's a good idea to save those jokes for later when you get to know his friends better. For the first few meetings, it's enough to be firm and simple about it.
- If you feel like you don't fit in or get along with their friends, simply reduce your contact with them. Show your boyfriend that you allow him to spend time with his friends and won't feel jealous.
Step 5. Surprise him
Kemu can surprise you big or small, depending on what you want to do. Unexpected things can make him feel loved and worthy. There are some suggestions you can do:
- Leave a note on her bathroom mirror (or bedroom door). If you wake up early for work before he wakes up, leave a simple note like "I love you!" in places he was sure to see. This will certainly make his day, and he will keep thinking about the note you left him.
- Send him a greeting card. You don't have to send a holiday greeting card. Getting a letter containing a greeting card can be a sweet surprise.
- Send him flowers. Visit sites like kirikirim.com or bungaholland.com to choose the right bouquet and have the bouquet delivered to your home or workplace. You may not be very interested in flowers, but your boyfriend will certainly be.
- Plan a surprise date. Try sending a message like "Come over to my house at 7pm tonight" and prepare a romantic dinner for him before he arrives. He will remember the surprise for the rest of his life.
Step 6. Be affectionate with her
This doesn't mean that you have to show affection in public all the time; you just need to treat her in a special way, different from how you treat other women. He will feel happy because he is a special person for you.
- Hold her hand when you and your boyfriend go out. Simple and sweet things like this can show him that you are proud to have him.
- Embrace him when the weather is cold. Things like this show him that you care and want to take care of him.
- Kiss her cheek. An affectionate and affectionate attitude like this can show you care.
Step 7. Try to support and defend the position
Try to support him, regardless of whether he is fighting with a friend or having problems with his boss. However, this does not mean that you should always view them as innocent; you just need to give him support. After that, once things get better, you can show him that-actually-he wasn't quite right.
Part 3 of 3: Spending Time With Him
Step 1. Plan a date he likes
One of the best ways to surprise your boyfriend is to take him to an event or take him to an activity he's been passionate about from the start. Not only will this show him that you've been listening to him for a while, but it will also show that you care enough to be willing to put in the effort to plan a date that he will like. There are a few examples you can consider:
- If you know that he likes music, try taking him to a jazz concert in a park or outdoor area, and bring a picnic kit (complete with his favorite drink or food). The two of you can listen to music together and make out while enjoying the sunset.
- If he likes spaghetti, ask him out by taking an Italian cooking class. The two of you can learn how to make pasta while having fun in the kitchen.
- Does he like beer or other products? Chocolate, for example? Try planning a tour of a brewery or chocolate factory that will allow visitors to try the products. Not only will the two of you get to try a delicious drink or a delicious chocolate, but you can also learn new things.
- Does he like certain countries, like Korea or France, for example? Try planning a “Korean Night” at your home. Buy food and drinks that smell like the country (eg kimchi, tteokbokki and bulgogi), cook the country's specialties, and stream playlists of Korean songs on Spotify. Light a candle and attach the Gyeongbyeokgung image to your laptop for added effect. Snack! Have a romantic evening in Seoul!
Step 2. Try doing a new activity together
Have you always wanted to try a new activity like wakeboarding, but never had the chance to do so? Your boyfriend can be an excuse to try new activities. If your boyfriend feels that he could make the perfect match for some crazy and interesting activities, he'll realize how important he is in your life. By showing the courage to try new things, you show him your adventurous side – a trait that many women find very attractive.
- Choose unique activities, such as whale watching, bouldering (climbing without ropes and shields), making your own favorite drink, or learning to shear sheep! There are so many possible activities that you can try.
- Get out of your comfort zone. You and your boyfriend can wear formal clothes and chat with the elite at an art show or gallery opening.
- Don't be afraid to be silly. Even if you don't show a great or neat side when going through the activities (and dates) you choose, the confidence you show to wear or try different things is already a unique impression on your boyfriend.
Step 3. Plan time to have fun alone, and time to have fun with other friends
If you can spend time as a couple, ignoring the friends around you, you can certainly build and maintain a happy and healthy relationship. There are couples who immediately “disappear” from their group of friends after starting dating. This is actually a mistake that should not be made. Your boyfriend will appreciate the balance between alone time, with friends you both know, and with friends in your absence. However, don't be offended because this is a good thing for you (and your boyfriend as well).
- Plan a special date night for the two of you. In a relationship, it's important that you organize and plan one day a week for just the two of you (even if you and your boyfriend are just enjoying a night out together). This is important because it can show him that he is one of the priorities in your life. Make the date night even more special by trying out the dating ideas previously described.
- Schedule time to have fun with friends. Gathering friends for fun can be difficult, but (at least) by making a schedule to get together early on, you can get together with your friends completely. Send an invitation via Facebook or a short group message about meeting up at your favorite restaurant and friends, a park, or a new bar/cafe. Make sure you invite his friends (as well as your friends).
- Try going on a date together (we know it as a double date or triple date). Dating another partner can be fun to keep your social life in check while spending important time with your boyfriend.
- Have a party. This can be a fun way to get together with your friends (and your boyfriend's friends) in one place at the same time. You can throw a party to celebrate a holiday, a big sporting event, a birthday, or simply hang out with friends. This can be an opportunity to spend some time planning a party and practicing teamwork with your boyfriend.
Tips
- There's a little secret (not really that small, and shouldn't be considered a secret) that you need to know. A truly honest woman will tell you one thing she wants in life: "love". He wants to be loved and has the opportunity to be able to love someone. If you and your boyfriend want a good relationship, always remember that little “secret.”
- Smile at him. You know how you feel when he smiles at you. The same thing happened to him.
- Remember that every woman and relationship is different and unique. What is good in one relationship may not apply to another. The most important thing to remember is to maintain open communication so that your boyfriend feels comfortable telling you what makes him happy, and what needs to be improved in the relationship. You'd be surprised at how many things he's been paying attention to.
- Try showing this article to your boyfriend. At least, the content of this article can be an interesting and useful discussion material for you and your boyfriend.
- All the information contained in this article has no time limit. This means that you will find that almost all of the advice described in this article can be applied, not only to a courtship relationship, but also to a marriage (or even engagement) relationship.
