Bullying is a serious phenomenon that comes in many forms and can actually affect the quality of life of people of all ages. In fact, the main goal of bullies is to see their victims hurt, feel a loss of self-esteem, and feel worthless. Responding in a positive way can help you defend yourself safely, restore your confidence, and even stop the bullying.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Bullying
Step 1. Don't give them the reaction they want
As great as the temptation is to turn against them, always remember that fighting the bully can lead you to more complex problems. In fact, bullies want to feel like they have more power than you; besides, they also want to see your annoyed reaction. Thus, responding in a negative or aggressive manner will only make them satisfied that they have hurt you! Therefore, do not respond negatively to their actions; Trust me, they won't stop or leave you after that.
- Calmly and in control, ask them to stop bothering you. For example, try saying, “Your current attitude is really uncool. Please stop." or “Enough. Don't talk like that again."
- Do not respond aggressively or sarcastically.
- Give short and direct responses.
- If they still refuse to stop, get out of their way.
- Do not confront the bully, either through words or physical actions.
Step 2. Break the power of the bully
Remember, bullies aim to absorb all of your self-awareness, self-worth, and strengths so they can more easily control you. Once they succeed in influencing you, in the future they will do the same thing to you again. Therefore, assert your position before them! Show that you won't go along with their wishes so they stop seeing you as an easy target.
Step 3. Identify and avoid bullying
Bullies will generally behave very intimidating and/or aggressively to “force” you to do what they want. Usually, they will also use various negative tactics to hurt you, bring you to your knees in front of them, and make their wishes come true. Try to identify the whereabouts of potential bullies so that in the future, you can avoid them. Understand some of the following characteristics of bullies:
- Bullies are often individuals who engage in risky behaviors such as drinking or committing other crimes.
- Contrary to popular belief, bullies are generally popular and overconfident.
- Bullies may attack their victims verbally or physically.
- It is possible that the bully also experiences a similar situation at home or in the neighborhood where he or she lives.
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Specific Types of Bullying
Step 1. Deal with verbal bullying
Verbal bullying occurs when someone says something to hurt or demean another person. If you do, don't be afraid to be assertive and stand up for yourself! If necessary, tell others that you are experiencing verbal bullying and ask them for help.
- Don't respond to bullying with emotion or anger.
- If the bully wants to fight with you or hit you, ignore the urge by remaining calm and positive.
- Emphasize to the bully that their attitudes and actions are not acceptable.
- Keep calm and listen carefully to his words; after that, ask relevant questions. For example, try asking, “You think I'm stupid, don't you? Why the hell, you think so?” Generally, bullies do not have a clear reason to justify their actions and will stop their actions once you are willing to have a dialogue with them.
Step 2. Deal with physical bullying
Physical bullying occurs when the bully physically abuses the victim with the aim of intimidating and/or controlling them. This form of bullying is very dangerous and must be addressed immediately. Don't be afraid to seek help if you run into one!
- If you're being physically bullied, tell someone else right away!
- The bully may threaten to resort to more severe violence if you do; on the other hand, you may also feel afraid or embarrassed to tell others. Don't be afraid to speak up! Trust me, someone will definitely help you.
- Physical bullying has a greater tendency to worsen. Therefore, make sure you deal with it as soon as possible!
Step 3. Deal with online bullying
Even though it happens virtually, the effects of online bullying are no less negative and serious. In fact, this kind of bullying occurs when the bully makes threats or similar statements with the aim of hurting, humiliating, or frightening the other person on the internet. Fortunately, there are some very powerful methods for stopping online bullying:
- Ignore any messages sent by the perpetrator. Remember, what the abuser wants is your response and anger. Ignore them to let them know that you are not the right target.
- Even though it is carried out via the internet, online threats or violence must still be taken seriously. In other words, you have the right to report it to the police or other authorities.
- Keep all evidence of online bullying in your possession; for example, download an email containing verbal abuse sent by the perpetrator and keep the download safe.
- Cut off communication with the bully. If possible, block their email, phone number, or any other method they use to contact you.
- Share your bullying experience with others via the internet or other technologies.
Method 3 of 3: Seeking Help
Step 1. Be aware of possible bullying around you
Usually, the bully's strategy is to corner the victim and break the chain of assistance to the victim in any form. Therefore, one way to prevent bullying from occurring is to be aware of the potential for bullying and be willing to fight it if it occurs. In fact, the perpetrators of bullying will definitely stop their actions even if there are only one or two people who dare to fight against them or support their victims. Always be aware of your surroundings and don't be afraid to speak up to stop or fight bullying.
- Believe me, bullies will generally stop their actions even if only a few people fight back.
- Ask your friends for help when you are being bullied.
Step 2. Don't be alone
Generally, bullies will choose victims who look easy to hurt; Usually, people who are always alone will appear more vulnerable and, therefore, are prime targets for bullies. Therefore, try to always travel with your classmates, peers, or other close people to reduce the potential for bullying.
- If you're still in school, try to always be around trusted adults.
- If you feel insecure, ask your friend to accompany you wherever you go.
Step 3. Talk to someone
Bullies will generally attack their victims when they are alone (or feel alone) so that the victim is unable to protect themselves and/or turn against them. As scary and difficult as it may seem, actually asking others for help is one of the best ways to fight off the bully's attacks and gain relevant support. Never be afraid to ask for help when you're being bullied!
- If you see someone being bullied, offer your help immediately.
- If your child is being bullied at school, make it clear that they should ask the teacher or principal for help.
Step 4. Seek expert help
If you are the victim of severe bullying, consider seeking professional help such as a counselor or psychologist. Mental health professionals like them can help restore self-esteem and confidence in yourself (or another victim of bullying), as well as reduce or even eliminate the effects of bullying that weigh on the victim.
Tips
- Never comply with demands made by bullies.
- If you spot bullying at school, immediately tell someone else and/or a trusted adult.
- If you see your friend being the victim of physical bullying, immediately tell a trusted adult about it. Don't try to deal with it alone!
- Don't give up if the school doesn't respond to your complaint; instead, immediately complain to other people such as your parents, abuser's parents, counselor, and/or therapist.
- If your friend is bullying you, ignore him and start making new friends!
- As much as possible, don't be alone when the bully is near you.
- Share your bullying experience with others.
- Don't turn around to bully or fight the bully.
- Remember, bullying is not your fault.
- Think positive things. To beat the bully, make sure you always think and behave positively!
Warning
- Bullying can have really serious and negative effects on the victim; Be careful, victims of bullying can commit suicide and/or experience other negative impacts.
- Just witnessing bullying can have a negative effect on a person's mental health.
