Encouraging someone to tell the truth is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand and requires special skills. Despite the abundance of time, patience, and self-confidence, these skills can be applied in a variety of fields (personal and professional) and can help you find out the truth of the situation in detail. Interested in learning it? Read on for the article below!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Showing partiality
Step 1. Don't immediately accuse him
Trust me, this will only make him more reluctant to tell the truth. Stay calm and keep your body language neutral. Yelling, banging on the table, or crossing your arms over your chest will only make him feel intimidated. Show that you are able to empathize with the situation; surely he will be easier to tell the truth to you.
If possible, sit across from him, look him in the eye, and speak in a calm, confident tone. Place your hands on your thighs or a table (or hang them relaxed at your sides) and keep your facial expression neutral
Step 2. Show your empathy
To build his trust, show that you are able to understand him and empathize with his situation. Trust me, he'll find it easier to tell the truth if he knows you're not going to attack him once you know the truth. Act as if you understand the reason behind his actions.
- For example, if you catch your child smoking with their peers, try saying, “Okay, you don't want to admit what you did. But believe me, if you really smoke, I can understand. Sometimes your friends can force you to do things you don't want to do."
- Try to give the impression that his behavior is 'natural' and does not deserve to be judged; surely, it will be easier for you to get the truth.
Step 3. Give the impression that the truth isn't as terrible as he thought it would be
Humans tend to be afraid to tell the truth because they are worried about the consequences. If you're willing to reduce the seriousness of his situation, he's more likely to find it easier to admit the truth.
You can say, “Trust me, it's no big deal. I just want to know the truth.” Reassure him that his mistake was not that serious; surely he will find it easier to explain the truth to you
Step 4. Tell him he's not the only one at fault
Make him feel comfortable and not be the only person accused. If he knows he's not the only one to blame and accepts the consequences, he's more likely to find it easier to tell you the truth.
You can say, "I know you're not the only person involved and guilty."
Step 5. Offer your protection
Tell him that you will do whatever it takes to protect him. Make it clear that you are by his side and willing to do anything to help him. If you do, it's more likely that her fear will subside and as a result, she will be moved to open up more to you.
Method 2 of 3: Discuss the Situation
Step 1. Distinguish between suspicions and unfounded accusations
How you approach the situation will depend largely on how much evidence you have; if your assumptions are based solely on suspicion (not on solid evidence), of course you need to take a different approach.
- For assumptions that are based on suspicion, it's best not to confront them and try to dig up the truth gradually.
- On the other hand, for a well-founded accusation, you must present all the evidence at your disposal when confronting it. That way, he won't have any loopholes to lie or run away from responsibility.
Step 2. Tell your version of the story it tells
Present the facts you heard from your perspective. More than likely, he will interrupt or correct you if any detail he thinks is wrong. This method can lead you to the real truth.
You can also change parts of the story on purpose for it to improve. For example, you can say, "Oh, so you went to the bar last night," even though you know he's gone somewhere else. This will encourage him to correct your words and lead you to the real truth
Step 3. Change a few things
Ask the same question in different forms of interrogative sentences. Beware if he repeats the same phrase over and over; most likely, he had rehearsed his answer beforehand. Also, beware if his answer sounds inconsistent because it most likely means that he is lying.
You can also ask him to tell his story from behind or from the middle. If he's lying, there's a good chance that there will be "facts" or the wrong sequence of moments in his story
Step 4. Be careful in choosing words
The language you use plays a very important role in revealing the truth. Don't use harsh or accusatory language to prevent him from getting defensive and making it harder for him to tell the truth.
For example, use the word "take" instead of "steal" or "spend time with someone" instead of "cheating". Trust me, choosing the right language will make it easier for him to tell the truth
Step 5. If necessary, bully him
Bullying her with deception is a dangerous move, but it is often effective. Try threatening him or pretending to know the truth, even if you don't actually fulfill the threat or have concrete evidence. More than likely, your bluff will frighten him and encourage him to tell the truth.
- For example, you could say, "An acquaintance of mine saw you pacing the crime scene.". Even such a short sentence can force him to tell the truth! You could also threaten to report him to the police or other authorities if he continues to lie.
- Remember, verbal threats should only be made if you believe the person is at fault. Also, make sure you don't make threats that will put him on the defensive and make you less likely to get the truth.
Step 6. Avoid physical violence
Controlling the reaction when directly lied to is difficult. But as difficult as it may be, make sure you don't use physical violence to force him to tell the truth. Instead of doing so, step away from her for a moment to digest the situation and calm yourself down.
Method 3 of 3: Watching for Signs of a Lie
Step 1. Observe how it answers your question
If he's avoiding your question, he's probably lying; for example, be wary if he tries to change the topic or refuses to answer your question. Generally, someone will tell the truth if they're not trying to hide something.
Step 2. Listen to the sound
Generally, the intonation and tone of a person's speech will change when he is lying. Be careful if the intonation suddenly rises, the tempo of speech accelerates, or the voice sounds shaky. The slightest change can indicate that he is lying.
First, make sure you are familiar with the person's normal voice. Start by asking questions you already know the answer to and watch his voice as he answers your question. Once you've begun to recognize the "normal" sound, try moving on to a question you don't know the answer to. If the intonation, pitch, or tempo of his voice changes, he's probably lying
Step 3. Observe her body language
Trust me, a person's appearance can really change when he's lying; awkwardness when someone is not telling the truth will be clearly seen in their body language. Be careful, the slightest change in a person's body language or behavior can be a strong indicator that he or she is lying.
